I find it incredibly helpful to remember that what another person says or does, or how another person reacts to what I do or say, has NOTHING to do with me.
Equally, how I receive what another person says or does, has NOTHING to do with them, and has only to do with what’s going on for me.
If I show up for work all shiny, doing my part 110%, happily going about my work, considering the feelings, needs and input of my employees and co-workers, and doing a bang-up job, then someone responds to my cheerful tone in a harsh way, I have 2 choices.
1- I take it personally: I feel bad that someone disapproves of me.
Or possibly disapproves of the way I am doing my job, or doesn’t like something I have done. Maybe they do not appreciate what I am about, or hear what I am trying to say. My feelings are hurt and I feel disrespected. My energy drains out of my soul, depleting me and taking with it any chance I have of staying motivated toward my own self care. I mean REALLY: why bother?
2- I don’t take it personally: I understand that whatever is going on for them has nothing to do with me, so my mood is my own, and not tossed about by the moods around me, or the mood of the world at large. I can remain cheerful and confident, and retain the full use of my energy, so it’s available to use for whatever I choose.
Each and every time, the choice is mine.
Empowering myself means making the choice for myself. Letting others choose for me drains my energy and disempowers me.