I have NO control!

You know what I am talking about.  MOST of us have said, “When it comes to XYZ, I have NO self control!” Or, “I can NOT resist XYZ!” (XYZ = your drug of choice)

XYZ is that THING that you won’t resist because it is simply too tempting, too delicious, too delightful to be missed!  And with the holidays arriving, most of those temptations spawn myriad opportunities to succumb to our desires in the guise of celebrating
the season, or reducing seasonal stress.

What is it for you?  For many MANY people it is sugar.  For some it’s alcohol, or pizza, gambling, or shopping.

But let’s be clear.  What we are truly saying is that ‘something external has power over me.’  We are handing our power willingly to XYZ.  WHY do we hand our power away willingly?  

Because it’s an excuse to do what we want to do anyway!

Period. In any other situation we fight to keep our power and stay in control.  We don’t like being told we ‘have-to’ do something, and we resist being forced into anything. Unless we want to do something
and need an excuse to shift blame away from ourselves.

Giving away power is an energy drain by itself (power=energy).  Compound that with the fact that giving in to XYZ often makes us feel guilty (another energy drain) for not sticking to our intentions, and that XYZ is often something that depletes energy all by itself (like sugar, dairy or booze), and you can see why believing that you have no control DEPLETES our energy exponentially.

So, if we want to stay energized, it’s KEY to understand that we ARE in control, always.  The choice is always ours.  (Unless we are truly powerless in which case it’s important to consider treatment for addiction or compulsion.) We are either choosing to align with our intentions and keep our energy intact, or we are choosing to abandon our intentions for XYZ, which leaves us exhausted and depleted.

The choice is always ours.

Strike a power pose and confidently align with your healthy intentions!

The word ‘resist’ is tricky, too. 

We cannot resist anything because to resist it we must be focused on it.  We want to distract or realign our focus rather than resist.  When distracted from XYZ, we don’t have to ‘resist’ anything, because we have chosen to focus elsewhere.

Instead of saying, “I can’t resist free candy,” how possible is it to reframe that thought so it focuses your energy on something you do want?

“I choose to eat healthy snacks like apples and dates because they align with my powerful intention to regain my vibrant health!”  That feels pretty powerful to me.

Maybe you prefer something simpler, “I eat only the foods on this list,” and then create a list of foods you LOVE that align with your health goals.

Self Nourishment through the Holiday Season

Whatever you celebrate, this time of year brings stress to millions, and millions of us turn to food for comfort in times of stress. My friend, Michelle Dwyer is hosting this fabulous event to help you nourish yourself this season instead of the old cycle of indulging and then beating ourselves up for it.

Grow on!

What is it that you have been telling yourself you cannot resist?
What will change in your life when you choose a different thought?
What new thought resonates for you?
How will you choose to show up for yourself when you feel stressed this season?
If you change a behavior you have been refusing to change, what other changes will you feel inspired to make?
Who else will your new choices impact or inspire?

6 Replies to “I have NO control!”

  1. Thank you for this! I needed to read it this morning as I am finishing up the last few weeks of the busy season, it’s easy to find comfort in XYZ!

  2. Lately I’ve chosen to declare “I don’t eat that/____ to myself mostly, and to others when needed. It’s so much more powerful than “I can’t eat…”. Because, of course, mechanically, I can. Choosing not to is moving in alignment with my personal, social, and spiritual values.

    That doesn’t mean there aren’t things I miss; a baked macaroni and cheese, homemade fudge, mushrooms in butter however served up, a crusty sourdough. I could go on and on. Equally though, I could list all the ailments – physical, social, spiritual – I suffer when I indulge in ways I’ve learned through experience, don’t align to my values, nor my biophysical blueprint.

    1. Yes! And saying you “can’t” do something makes it feel imposed! Saying “I don’t” moves it to the category of choice, and choice is power!

      Thanks so much for reading and commenting!

  3. Well wasent that exactly what I needed to read today. I’m
    Going through my struggles but at least understanding why makes it a lot easier to grow in the best direction.

    1. Understanding why helps, and also know that you are not alone! We all want to self-soothe with something sometimes, that’s human nature!

      Thanks for reading! Keep growing! Don’t give up on your best life.

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