Covid Blue

I’ve been experiencing a little depression in my energy lately. 
Why?  Cause I’m fucking human!

Like most of the rest of the world, we had to cancel vacation plans this year. I was supposed to be writing to you today from a hotel room. We planned a road trip with our wiener dog, Boscoe, to visit family in Colorado, then a couple of National Parks in Utah on the way home. 

Google Images: Arches National Park

I hadn’t realized how much I was looking forward to it!  I kind of used it like a carrot to get through the first part of quarantine.  I told myself, “Come September, I’ll be on the road with my camera at National Parks, visiting family and friends enjoying the scenery and sunshine!”

It never dawned on my positive thinking that come September we wouldn’t have controlled the spread of the pandemic yet, like every other country in the world has done.  It’s almost time for the “second wave” and the United States hasn’t ridden out the first wave!

For over a week after canceling our plans, I found myself unable or unwilling to focus on coaching classes, workshop preparations, marketing promotions, house work, or anything. 

I let it all go and just kinda vegged, simply letting the lethargy unfold.  I filled my days surfing Booking.com, dreaming of a trip to Croatia sometime post-pandemic.  I searched flights for a full seven days before feeling satisfied that I knew where to get the best deal and which days to fly.  Then I turned my attention to accommodations and sightseeing.  You should SEE the amazing places you can rent in Croatia!

Booking.com image

I had a blast planning that trip.  NO idea when we’ll get to go, but I do know where we are going!  

So why didn’t I just coach myself back into a better feeling place?

Because I needed to feel that disappointment for a minute.  I wasn’t READY yet to get back to feeling good.  I wanted to feel better, but without pretending that my disappointment wasn’t real, or didn’t happen.  Of course it happened!  Challenges come up in life.  It’s an integral part of the human experience.

I didn’t feel the need to rail against it, or beat myself up for not feeling my best.  I just needed some time to process. Some people might call that indulgent. I call it taking mental health days.

Practicing happiness daily does NOT mean that I suddenly have a magical life without challenges, full of rainbows and unicorns.  It means that when life gets me down, I know it’s part of the process, and I know that I have the tools to get myself back on track.  

At a pace of my own choosing.

Grow on!

What emotions are you feeling right now?
Which ones do you need time to process?
When are you giving yourself the space to do that?

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