Being our authentic self is the most liberating thing we can do.
What does it MEAN to be authentic? It means to be the fabulous YOU that you came here to be. Each of us is a unique spark of the Universal Divine, a singular piece of the infinite puzzle. We deserve to say what’s true in our hearts. We deserve to be true to our own desires and beliefs, and live in whatever way makes us happy. We deserve to live our lives in whatever way we choose, no matter what the fuck other people expect of us, or what they think about our choices.
But it is normal to want to fit in, and to want to be liked by others, so many of us wear masks to hide our authentic self. This happens when we believe that we are not enough as we are, or when we have been told that we are too much in some way, or when it feels unsafe to speak our truth.
The masks we create become heavy when worn too long, and continuing to wear them takes a huge amount of energy. We grow weary of trying to be who this one wants us to be, doing what that one wants us to do. We can be exhausted trying to live a life defined by masks, instead of letting ourself be authentic.
If we attract a partner while wearing a mask, we may fear ever revealing our true self. If they love the masked version, how could they possibly love what truly lies beneath?
The other burden of wearing a mask to please others, is that we never really get the chance to explore our true nature. We get to a point where the mask is so heavy we MUST set it down, but then we might not have any idea of who we truly are and what makes us happy.
So I invite you to liberate yourself! If you are not usually the type to speak your mind, or ask for what you want out of life, I encourage you to start. Play with being authentic to explore how much more energy you have!
If you reveal your true self and someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours. The people who love you will be delighted for you to be YOU. Maybe it’s time to release people who want you to wear to please them.
You only get one wild and precious life. Spend it being the fabulous, unique YOU that you came here to be!
Grow on!
What masks do you wear regularly? Which ones are draining your energy? Which ones are you willing to let go? In what ways are you ready to express your authenticity? What makes you truly light up?
When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.
In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.
My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly.
He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me. I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.
After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.
Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?
The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.
I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.
I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.
That’s right. You heard me.
If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again!
So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release.
What can we do about this confusing challenge?
It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!
It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.
Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.
Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.
Somewhere to begin.
Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!
ABC Process
Awareness Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.
Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:
Breathe Take a nice deep grounding breath.
Choose Choose love. Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.
It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up.
When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!
Somewhere to practice.
Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing.
If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.
Grow on!
Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.
Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.
Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!
A major factor in anyone’s ability to release excess weight is our ability to release stress. If we are under a lot of stress, or even chronic low-level stress, our insulin and cortisol levels rise. Increased insulin and cortisol can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposition at midsection
increased inflammation – exacerbates every known disease
die off of good gut bacteria – leads to many types of digestive issues
wasting nutrients – we don’t get the nutrients from the foods we eat
decreased immunity – we get sick more easily
decreased energy
dysregulated appetite – we may NOT feel hungry when we need to eat, OR we may feel hungry all the time.
desensitivity to pleasure – we need MORE food to feel satiated.
decreased Mitochondrial function – can lead to muscle weakness, and organ disease
decreased Thyroid function – can lead to fatigue, weight gain, joint pain, dry skin, thinning hair, irregular menses, fertility problems, slowed heart rate, or depression.
poor sleep quality
reduced sleep quantity
So it’s clear that if we want to release excess weight, we MUST find ways to RELEASE the stress we experience in our lives.
Stress & Perception
Normal life stressors include death or illness of a family member, financial worries, work-related stress. This kind of stress can’t be avoided, but we can learn ways to diminish it, so that it has less effect on our health. We can also learn techniques to help us shift the way in which we perceive stress. Perception determines everything, and certainly colors how normal life stressors affect us.
For example: Several employees are let go from a company.
High-stress perception of the situation says loss of income is a huge setback, we’ll fall behind on bills and maybe lose our home. Now THAT will stress you out.
Low-stress perception of the same situation says that my next income will be higher, affording more economic opportunities, and that the Universe always has my back so it was obviously time to leave that position to find something better and more fulfilling for me. What a blessing! No worries, no stress.
Self-Chosen Stress
Reducing the stress in our lives is absolutely essential if one of our goals is to release excess weight, and the stress easiest to release is the self-chosen variety.
Are you kind to yourself like you would be to someone you love? Or do you criticize yourself for every perceived imperfection, belittle and shame yourself for not doing enough? Do you compare yourself to others and always judge yourself less than?
When you look at your body in the mirror, do you lavish it with love and praise for supporting and sustaining you every day of your life no matter how much you abused it? Or do you heap shame on it for not looking like some swimsuit model who’s been surgically enhanced, tucked, and airbrushed?
Self-criticism and body shame create a toxic stew of stress. It’s like living in a situation where we are being attacked every day, because we are attacking ourselves daily!
Weight release requires learning to love ourselves, or at the very LEAST, learning not to treat ourselves like shit. This process takes time, patience, and constant reminders, but pays off in improved health, happiness, and more success reaching all of our goals!
Processed Foods
Perhaps one of the most treacherous self-chosen stressors in modern life is processed foods because most people choosing them don’t even know that processed foods cause stress!
The chemicals being put into manufactured foods affect our energy and our mood. According to Dr. Joan Ifland, people who eat a diet high in processed foods tend to anger more quickly, be more anxious, and irritable.
Processed foods tend to be very low in nutrition, and poor nutrition is perceived by the body as STRESS.
Poor nutrition is also a major reason that we overeat after dinner. Our body has done the calculations, found us missing essential nutrients, and sent off alarm bells that scream, “We did not get adequate nutrition. EAT MORE FOOD!” If we reach for more processed foods, we still don’t get the nourishment our body is screaming for, but we pack on pounds from the excess empty calories.
Here in the United States, processed foods tend to be high in many kinds of sugar, wheat flours processed with roundup, GMO corn, low quality soy, and saturated fats – ALL of which cause inflammation and have the potential to disrupt digestion.
Digesting and metabolizing even one of those inflammatory ingredients is stressful on our intestines, liver, and cardio-vascular system. Digesting many of them all at once, maybe several times a day leads to serious health issues like heart disease, high blood pressure, and diabetes.
If we eat processed foods, it’s adding stress to our life in multiple ways, and most of us aren’t even aware of it!
Bottom line is that if we want to release any excess weight we may be carrying, we must begin to learn to release whatever stress it is within our power to release, including processed foods.
Processed Food Addiction
Now, if you are sitting there thinking that you can’t even imagine a life without processed foods, you are NOT alone.
A recent poll done by the University of Michigan found that older adults reported intense food cravings. Twenty four percent said that at least once a week they had such a strong urge to eat a highly processed food that they couldn’t think of anything else. Nineteen percent said that at least two or three times a week they tried and failed to cut back, or stop eating, these kinds of foods.
Twelve percent said that their eating behavior caused them a lot of distress more than twice a week, so if any of this resonates for you, I hope you are starting to see that you are not the only one.
Dr Joan Ifland wrote the text book, Processed Food Addiction. You will find a wealth of interviews of Dr. Ifland on YouTube where you can learn more about processed food addiction and it’s treatment.
Elimination Diet
One of the fastest ways to get relief – from stress, inflammation, excess weight, and a long list of unwanted symptoms – is to release the thoughts, foods, and behaviors that are causing us stress, inflammation, and unwanted symptoms.
If this resonates for you, experience has shown that an elimination diet is one of the best tools for identifying foods you suspect may be causing the unwanted symptoms, and is very safe.
An elimination diet is an eating plan that omits a food, or group of foods, believed to cause unwanted symptoms. By removing foods for a few weeks and then reintroducing them during a “challenge” period, you can learn which foods are causing symptoms or making them worse.
We often think of reactions to food as happening quickly, however, many other ways our bodies react to food may not be so immediate or noticeable.
My mission is to help people revitalize their lives and transform their lives around food and body, so I created the Relief through Release Playgroup to fully support women who want to play with releasing thoughts, foods, and behaviors that are creating unwanted symptoms, for the purpose of getting relief from those symptoms!
Relief through Release Playgroup
R&R Playgroup is an eight week online playgroup. For three weeks of those two months, we release self-criticism and sugar – two of life’s biggest stressors – with all the support it takes to make that shift.
In R&R Playgroup, we learn:
the science behind overeating, and create strategies to reduce overeating.
to listen to our appetite instead of trying to suppress it.
to tap into our body wisdom to understand what foods truly serve our health.
to identify and overwrite limiting beliefs, and shift to less stressful perspectives.
how to increase our energy and awareness, build confidence, and celebrate every success.
to marinate our energy in thoughts and ideas that feel good and uplifting, instead of stewing in a negative vibration that diminishes everything we try to do and be!
All of this adds up to creating the healthy energized lives that we long to lead!
The next playgroup starts in a few weeks! Get complete details at THIS LINK.
Whether you choose to let go of self-criticism, take up yoga, learn to shift perspectives, or try an elimination diet on your own, or with a group – don’t you owe it to yourself and your health to play with some new ways to relieve stress?
Grow on!
What foods do you suspect may be causing issues for you? What processed foods do you crave? Which unwanted symptoms do you have that might be tied to food? How willing are you to play with letting go of suspect foods? What thoughts are you thinking that you would like to release? What self-chosen stressors can you identify, and play with releasing?
The mean voice is always wrong. I don’t care what’s being said. If it is said with mean intent, or in a way meant to diminish us or hold us back, it is inaccurate.
When others speak to me with a mean voice, it doesn’t matter what they are saying. It’s inaccurate because whatever they’re saying at me, is truly intended for them to hear. It has nothing to do with me and has only to do with how in alignment, or out of alignment, they are in that moment.
More importantly, when I speak to myself in a mean way, the message is always wrong. The mean girl voice in my head (aka gremlin voice, monster voice) is wrong every time she speaks.
How do I know she’s wrong?
That nasty feeling churning in my gut tells me she’s wrong. The crappy way it makes me feel every time she says something mean to me is a clear indication that she’s wrong. It’s a clear indication that I am thinking in a way that is as vibrationally far from my true vibration (Source) as I can get. That’s why it feels crappy.
When we hear something and it resonates within us, we feel the truth of that vibration and know it’s true by the way it feels in us – resonant.
When we hear something and it feels discordant within us, we feel the wrongness in that vibration and know it is wrong by the way it feels in us – harsh and jarring because it lacks harmony with our Source vibration.
Now, if you – like so many people – have a critical voice in your head constantly scolding that you are too this, then not enough that, and certainly should always be this way, and absolutely never ever be THAT way, or telling you that everything you do is wrong, and will never be enough, then PLEASE take a deep breath!
Not one of those messages is true, no matter how convinced you may be in the moment that the statement is valid or accurate. The message is coming from a mindset that is out of alignment with our Source energy, our True vibration. So take another deep breath and remind yourself of that Truth.
The mean girl voice is trying to protect us from something. At some point in our past something happened that we did not enjoy, and do NOT wish to repeat. Mean girl (or the Gremlin) arose to protect us from that happening again. The mean voice is a part of ourselves trying to protect us from reliving some past hurt.
Unfortunately the way that she often tries to protect us is by having us play small. If we stop living life and stop taking chances, or reaching for something we really want, there will be FAR fewer opportunities for us to get hurt. And while that may have been an excellent strategy for a seven-year-old avoiding parental disappointment or wrath, it is energy-draining and self-defeating as a strategy in the adult world.
So we can love that scared part of ourselves, and give her a big ole hug for everything she’s been doing to try to help us. Then in my mind, I like to lead her to a lounge chair at the beach, hand her a margarita, and tell her to relax and take some time off!
Every time she gets off her beach chair and slings criticism at me, I recognize it by the discordant feeling within. That’s my cue to take a deep cleansing breath, and remind her (and me) that’s old, outdated thinking, and we’re not thinking that way anymore!
Then I go one step further to help heal this negative messaging that has been programmed into me.
Whatever the criticism was, whatever the mean comment, I KNOW that it’s wrong, so I turn it around.
If she tells me I did something wrong, I look for what I did well.
If she says I am ugly or unworthy, I write myself a love letter and tell me all the ways I am beautiful and worthy.
If she tells me I’m fat, I remind her that body shaming is unacceptable.
Fabulous, amazing, beautiful women come in every size and shape of body, and every one of those bodies is beautiful and worthy. Our culture has a broken vision of what beauty is, and critical views of what we “should” look like in order to be considered beautiful. Well fuck that. I will not allow the opinions of others to heap shame, or heavy negative judgement on myself or anyone else!
We have become so indoctrinated to this weight hate that women sometimes put off living our lives. We’re finally going to have it all figured out and live our dreams when we reach that magic number on a scale. (Scales are treacherous, lying machines that will give you completely different numbers at different times of day, or in different rooms of the house. If you have a scale lurking somewhere in your home, I highly recommend destroying it at once.)
As long as we are focused on what we weigh, we will never be focused on what is truly important. (Hint: NOT a number on a lying scale.) Maybe that’s the reason the patriarchy decided to brainwash us into focusing on what we weigh in the first place?
Please remember when you hear the mean voice that she is wrong.
You can choose to start reprogramming your thoughts to ones that make you feel amazing, beautiful, happy, and fulfilled every day of your life!
Grow on!
What message is the critic in your head repeating? How true is that? What would you rather believe? If you heard someone give that same criticism to a young person you love, what would you tell the young person? What would you say to the mean girl voice?
Many unwanted symptoms we experience are rooted in the foods we eat. What kind of symptoms? All of these and more:
• compulsive overeating • excess weight • sugar cravings • low energy • poor sleep quality • irregular BM (loose/solid) • gas, bloating, gut issues • trouble with digestion • brain fog • lack of motivation • acne, rashes, rosacea • joint pain & back pain • headaches • phlegm or congestion • acid reflux or heartburn • difficulty losing weight • night sweats
If the foods we eat are causing unwanted symptoms, and we want to get relief from those symptoms, we need to stop eating the food causing the symptoms.
Sounds simple enough, but how do we decide which foods are causing the symptoms?
Elimination diets are a cheap, simple way to experiment with releasing foods or groups of foods that we suspect may be causing symptoms to see how those symptoms change or improve. Then we reintroduce the food to see if the symptoms return. Experience shows that an elimination diet is one of the best tools for identifying food issues, and is very safe, provided a variety of foods are eaten to supply essential nutrients.
Which Foods are Suspect?
I advise starting by releasing foods that you have noticed cause you some adverse symptom, or create a phlegmy response in your body. Does a particular food create a headache, or cause trouble with digestion? Do you always break out after eating a certain nut? Tune in to your own body wisdom and pay attention as you prepare for the release of suspect foods.
Foods that everyone might suspect for a variety of reasons include dairy, wheat, corn, soy, peanuts, eggs and shellfish. These foods have been shown to be highly irritating in large numbers of humans.
Make a list of foods you are ready to release and, so you’re not solely focussed on what you’re giving up, make a list of the abundant foods you plan to INCLUDE as well.
Eat only the foods on the “include” list for a period of two to four weeks. Then reintroduce one food at a time (at least 4 days apart) to see which foods cause the reaction.
Then you are free to create a healthy eating plan that serves your individual needs based on foods to which you are not sensitive.
This is a very simple way to see which foods create symptoms you’d rather not have, but it’s not always easy to release foods we enjoy, or are in the habit of eating regularly. If you want to play with releasing foods in community with other women who are also playing with releasing foods, in an elimination diet playground designed to fully support you as you transform your relationship with food, click THIS LINK for complete details.
Mystery Symptoms
I frequently hear from clients that their set of symptoms have a name, but the doctor has no idea of the cause, or what to do to relieve those symptoms except prescribe drugs with innumerable effects on health.
Elimination diets can often provide evidence of at least part of the problem, because inflammation is one of the first symptoms for which we get relief when we release foods to which we are sensitive or allergic. Inflammation causes many unwanted symptoms, and those it doesn’t cause, it intensifies.
I truly hope that if you are experiencing unwanted symptoms, you will experiment with some form of elimination diet to see if you get rapid RELIEF by simply releasing one or two problem foods.
It may just be the miracle you’ve been looking for!
Grow on!
What foods do you suspect may be causing unwanted symptoms? What processed foods do you crave? Which unwanted symptoms do you experience that might be tied to food?
I write my blog about topics that lift my vibe, help me grow, or inspire me in some way. Last week I had the absolute pleasure of encountering Salesforce Park in San Francisco for the first time.
I was expecting – I don’t know – a bunch of gorgeous potted plants on a rooftop. Nothing could be further from the reality of what greeted us when we stepped off the elevator on the fifth floor of Salesforce Tower. The image above is from the park’s webpage.
The park spans 5 city blocks, suspended five floors above the streets of downtown San Francisco, and surrounded by the towers of glass and steel that punctuate our beautiful city.
The spectacular public space includes a fountain that is triggered by buses in the transit center below, an amphitheater, children’s playground, paved walking trail that circles the entire five and a half acre park, and thirteen mini botanical gardens labeled with interpretive signs.
I’m just going to let my photos speak for me this week, so enjoy this little taste of Salesforce Park.
If you are planning to visit San Francisco, I highly recommend the Salesforce park! The park is open 6am to 8pm daily, and you can CLICK HERE for complete details.
A shift in mindset can literally be the difference between experiencing a living hell, or living heaven on earth.
Mindset is EVERYTHING. Mindset is the vibrational set point of our thinking. It is the accumulation of established thoughts and beliefs we hold to be true.
Energy attracts like energy, so what we vibrate, we attract.
We can think of our vibrational set point (mindset) as our radio station. Our current mindset is the station to which we’re tuned. Therefore the ONLY thing we can currently experience is what’s being broadcast on our station. If we do not like our experience, we must change the station to get something different.
We cannot change the experience being broadcast. In order to experience a different broadcast, we must change our station, by changing how we perceive.
What we perceive is what we receive.
If we believe that we live in a godless universe, where others cannot be trusted, where we must do it all on our own, and struggle for what we have; we are having a very different experience broadcast to us than someone who believes that the Universe has her back, sends frequent angels to support her, and flows resources to her effortlessly.
Changing our radio station (mindset) allows us to attract something different than we have been experiencing. If we are not currently enjoying our experience, it is vital to shift our mindset. In order to shift our mindset to attract something different than we have been attracting, we must begin to shift the thoughts we are thinking, and be willing to let go of beliefs that do not serve us.
The question then is, how do we change what we believe?
Awareness is always the first step! We can only change something if we are AWARE that we want to change it. Once we have recognized that something we think or believe no longer serves us, we need a process to help us overwrite those beliefs with new ones that support and inspire us!
We need a process because if we truly believe something, we cannot simply stop believing that, and start believing something contrary. The human brain won’t leap like that.
For example, we cannot go from thinking, “I hate my body because it’s fat,” to thinking, “I love my body unconditionally,” in the same breath. Our vibration will physically reject the opposing thought because it does not resonate with our current mindset/vibration.
Wheels & Ladders
Here are four processes wonderful for shifting mindset, or point of attraction.
Focus Wheel Process
Esther Hicks and Abraham offered us the Focus Wheel Process in the book Ask and it is Given.
We place the thought we wish to believe in the center, then write thoughts around the outside which we already believe, thoughts that resonate with our current mindset, meaning – we already believe them. Practicing these believable thoughts moves us closer to the center thought we wish to believe.
Esther says to use the focus wheel process:
When you realize that your current Vibrational Point of Attraction is not where you want it to be.
When you are aware that you are feeling negative emotion about something that is important, and you want to find a way of feeling positive emotion instead.
When something has just happened that is not to your liking, and you want to think about it while it is on your mind and change your point of attraction so that it does not happen again.
When you are reaching for a feeling of relief.
For me, the key bit here is reaching for a feeling of relief. When we are thinking thoughts that make us feel icky, anxious, or worried, finding thoughts that RELIEVE the anxiety, worry, and shame is solid GOLD.
Abraham’s Focus Wheel Process is highly effective for many people.
Training Wheels
Another process we can use to shift our thoughts, our mindset, our vibrational point of attraction is Training Wheels. Training wheels help us soften the thought we desire to believe, and bring it closer to our current vibrational range. Training wheels are sentence fragments tacked onto the thought we wish to believe.
Examples of Training Wheels: Why is it so easy to… I am learning to… I am ready to… I feel empowered when… Today I begin to… I choose to…
Training wheels on our example: I love my body unconditionally. Why is it so easy to love my body unconditionally? I am learning to love my body unconditionally. I am ready to love my body unconditionally. I feel empowered when I love my body unconditionally. Today I begin to love my body unconditionally. I choose to love my body unconditionally.
If the training wheel thought is one we BELIEVE, we are on our way! Shifting from a limiting belief to an inspiring belief takes PRACTICE, so we want to practice the training wheel thought frequently until we feel ready to take the training wheels off.
Training Wheels Process is a super effective way to begin shifting our beliefs!
Laddering Thoughts
I love Laddering Thoughts Process! Imagine the limiting belief on the bottom rung of the ladder. Now place the thought we WANT to think at the top of the ladder.
Now we climb the ladder one better-feeling thought at a time! Each thought is a rung on the ladder taking us closer to the empowering thought at the top. You can absolutely use Training Wheels to help you up the ladder if you find some that raise your vibration.
You can also use neutral thoughts since neutral is always a higher vibe than negative. For example, instead of the negatively charged, “I hate my body” we can use the neutral statement, “I have a body” to climb one rung up on the ladder. That’s a true statement, so it can resonate with anyone. “My body has physically supported me since birth,” is also true. If it resonates, we can use it to climb one rung closer to the higher vibration we desire!
Try these thoughts, and if they resonate, we can climb the next rung:
Some people love their bodies unconditionally. I would like to love my body unconditionally. The more I love my body, the more it loves me back. Occasionally, I love my body unconditionally. It is possible to love my body unconditionally.
Remember: you need to practice the Laddering Thoughts that resonate for you every day, throughout the day. Once a thought feels more believable, move up the ladder!
Stairway to Heaven
I adore the Laddering Thoughts Process, and I love to shift thoughts from bad feeling to good feeling, and from good feeling to better feeling.
So I shifted the idea of the thought ladder into the image of a fully supported staircase with double handrails. Now instead of my steps being shaky, or unstable, I feel steady and supported as I climb my Thought Stairway!
The handrail I offer is a choice of uplifting thoughts galore. Many years ago I began creating positive affirmation cards (daily mantra or empowerment cards) for a friend who was going through challenging times.
I take positive statements that feel good when I say them, and print them on my inspiring landscape photography. Currently I have created more than 500, and I invite you to freely download any that resonate for you, and use them to support you on your Stairway to Heaven on Earth!
My fabulous fucking Toy Box contains a treasure trove of guiding support from many wise hearts who are consistently lighting the way toward Heaven on Earth. I invite you to explore and play with these amazing resources, and incorporate whatever resonates for you. This is how we feel supported and guided as we shift our thoughts up the stairs.
We can use our Thought Stairway to climb from wherever we are on the vibrational scale to wherever we wish to be on the vibrational scale. Thought Stairway can lift us from the deepest depths of despair, unworthiness, and shame, right up to heaven on earth!
With PRACTICE.
These wonderful processes help us retrain our neural pathways, and that takes time and practice.
I encourage you not to give up! We reach a tipping point when we finally feel closer to the top of the staircase than the bottom, and that is when we keep practicing!
We play with shifting our thoughts upward. We keep joyfully rising toward that higher vibration, toward renewed mindset, and fresh perspectives.
This is our spiritual practice, to move ourselves closer and closer to the perspective/vibration of that which we call God, Source Energy, Infinite Wisdom. Because living fully in that energy here and now is what it means to live in Heaven on Earth.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you thinking that are limiting your growth? How does that thought feel when you think it? What emotion would you rather feel? What thought can you think that creates that desired emotion within you? Play with the above processes to climb from the limiting thought to the freeing one!
Suffering with unwanted symptoms, and struggling with compulsive eating SUCKS.
I know this first hand, because I’ve been through it.
I understand what it is to struggle with food, and to loathe myself for what I thought was lack of willpower. When I stopped over drinking, I ran right to sugar and picked up my addictive behaviors all over again. I felt like my appetite was out of control!
I tried fasting, starving, vegetarian, vegan, South Beach, Atkins, high fat, fat-free, high-carb, no carb, anything to try and control my appetite, and lose weight. In between diets I would binge eat sugary sweets, and live on carbs and cheese.
I felt powerful any time I was controlling my weight, and beat the hell out of myself when I ate off plan, or any time I ate too much, which was frequently. My journal was saturated with self-loathing.
Unwanted symptoms baffled my doctors, left me exhausted and in pain. I was tired all the time and couldn’t figure out where my energy went! What I didn’t understand at the time was that inflammation was wreaking havoc with my body.
The inflammation was caused by overeating sugary sweets, and other foods that my body did not process well, but in all the times I was seen for my mysterious symptoms, not one medical doctor ever even asked me what I was eating.
I knew I wasn’t eating healthy foods, but the fact that not one doctor looked at my food intake lead me to believe that food was NOT connected to my symptoms!
I felt like I was spinning out of control, like I was powerless over food, and would never figure it out!
Then I found a naturopath who taught me to identify and release foods, that were depleting my energy. I also hired a coach who helped me identify and release behaviors that were depleting my energy, and guess what?!
I got RELIEF!
I felt better immediately.
My intestinal symptoms disappeared.
The eczema that plagued me went away.
The horrible night sweats vanished.
My energy increased tremendously.
I started sleeping better.
I dropped 50 lb in 5 months without ever going to a gym, or doing a single workout!
THAT’s when I decided that I want to help other women who are struggling with food, and unwanted symptoms the way I have!
Then I went on to study Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology Coaching at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. NOW it is my pleasure, my passion, and my purpose to help other women who are struggling create RELIEF in their lives!
Knowing how awful it feels to struggle with food, and knowing how much shame is attached to constantly seeing myself as a failure with food and health is the reason I coach. I don’t ever want any woman to have to feel that shitty, if it’s possible for me to help her move from exhausted to energized!
Millions of thoughts pop into our heads every day. Some of them are constructive, and some, not so much. Some of them feel wonderful, and some create fear. Some inspire confidence, others manifest self-doubt.
The trick is to remember that if they pop in uninvited, you only need to entertain the ones you enjoy!
I talk to my clients all the time about “milking the moment” when they have a thought that feels wonderful. We want to hang onto those as long as we can, and really milk them for every drop of pleasure that we can get.
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what we enjoy, the more the Universe brings us to enjoy!
So what about those thoughts that pop in unannounced that are destructive, fear filled, and confidence crushing? My advice is to get rid of them the instant we become aware of them.
It’s perfectly understandable, when experiencing a financial or medical uncertainty, that scary thoughts and worst case scenarios might pop into out head. But these thoughts are here without invitation, so we don’t throw them a big party and invite them to stay!
As soon as I notice that my mind has wandered into a scary neighborhood, I quickly repeat “nope, nope, nope!” It’s like a little energy canceling mantra I use to retrieve my energy from unwanted territory. The quicker I can catch myself, and redirect with “nope, nope, nope” the better!
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what is unwanted, the more the Universe brings us what is unwanted!
Of course we occasionally must focus on something we’d rather not, like preparing our taxes. But I’m talking about creating stories in our head of unreal events that may never happen. It’s a HUGE, and completely unnecessary, waste of our energy. The faster we vacate that territory, the calmer, happier, and more energized we will feel!
Nope, nope, nope!
Then we can intentionally shift attention onto something we DO want to attract. We can entertain best case scenarios and visualize those. Or if the energy is currently too charged around that topic, shift subjects entirely and focus on something that is sure to lift your energy and inspire you. Your grandkids, your pet, crafts or hobbies, podcasts meant to inspire. Whatever it is for you.
After the nope, nope, nope disrupts the negative energy, focus on anything that allows you to feel uplifted, happy, empowered, or inspired.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you currently entertaining that could use a good “Nope, nope, nope!”?
Create a list of as many people, places, and practices you can think of that never fail to comfort you, or make you feel amazing.
For an incomplete list of resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive, check out my fabulous fucking toy box at THIS LINK!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.
We are not weak willed. We are not broken. There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.
This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!
This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.
Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.
Overeating is rooted in…
The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.
Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.
STRESS
The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.
FAST EATING
Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING
Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel.
When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?
MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS
Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive. Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut
have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
are vital to reproductive function. Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.
There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.
LOW NUTRIENT FOODS
If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.
MEAL SKIPPING
Appetite is our friend. Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.
Eating when hungry = Life.
Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.
If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.
It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.
Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!
The Kindness Key
Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!
Kindness First! Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time.
We feel bad, we eat food,we feel better.
It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.
When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself!
When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.
When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.
Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle.
We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.
The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.
I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).
The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively.
This is how we break the cycle.
NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.
Kindness unlocks Curiosity!
Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!
We can ask questions like:
What triggered the overeating?
What thought was I thinking?
What emotion was I trying to soothe?
What was I really hungry for?
What would have been most nourishing for me?
How can I soothe myself other than with food?
Curiosity increases our Awareness!
We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.
Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.
Grow on!
If you are overeating, you are not alone.
Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
