Transformation Playground

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Gratitude Infusion!

The Role of Spirit in Creating Perfect Health and Wellness is a recent episode of my favorite podcast, The Spiritual Sandbox with Jill Lebeau and Amit West, where they welcomed special guest Michelle Dwyer.

The topic was one of my favorites – alignment with Spirit, or Source Energy. The laughter alone, from this high vibe trio of brilliant women, would be enough for me to recommend the episode to lift your soul. Their joy is palpable through the entire episode! The episode also overflows with gems of wisdom, many of which felt like I was hearing them for the first time, despite my own familiarity with some.

The idea of gratitude infusion deeply resonated for me, and I jumped in with both feet! 

I also want to share that – even though I recently completed leading a group of clients in releasing negative self talk – some of my first thoughts were, “I should have already been doing this. How did I miss something so obvious? Why am I always doing something wrong?” And then I took a deep breath and infused the moment with gratitude!
I flowed appreciation to Jill and Amit for their wonderful, and much needed podcast. I flowed appreciation to Michelle for the reminder to flow gratitude into each and every moment, and for her beautiful description of cultivating a garden of self love! I flowed appreciation to myself for being open to receiving the reminder, and the willingness to put it into action.

Now each time I feel frustrated or irritated with something, I infuse it with gratitude, and it instantly feels better. I am trying to make a practice to infuse my actions, and my meals with love and appreciation, and when I forget, I infuse myself with gratitude for trying!

And gratitude infusion was just the tip of the topic! The podcast continued it’s perfection with exquisitely timed feedback that echoed the idea that “in every moment, in every breath, in every heartbeat, we are given the choice to begin again!” Fabulous!

In one short hour, they talked about scarcity and abundance, the healing magic of self-love, the importance of mindset, the power of self-expression, energetic root causes, elevating the ordinary to sacred, and so much more! They reminded us wholly how to reclaim our power, and concisely answered the question, “Why are we here?”

This incredible episode of the Magical Spiritual Sandbox podcast manifests instant alignment with the Universe, and also gives listeners the secret to constant alignment with the Universe, should they choose to wield it.

I simply can’t recommend this podcast, and specifically this episode enough. It lifts, enlightens, and transforms. I won’t guarantee a spiritual transformation, but it certainly is within the realm of possibilities. 

Grow on!

Listen to this episode at THIS LINK.

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The subtle art of not giving a FUCK what other people think

First and foremost, you are God. The energy animating our flesh is Divine Source energy, or what people like to call God.

Your core energy is Divine.
My core energy is Divine.
Their core energy is Divine.

Every one of us is an expression of the Divine Source energy that created everything in the Universe. We are absolutely perfect despite whatever flaws or shortcomings we think we perceive. When we begin with this understanding, it’s easy to see that no one is better than anyone. We are all equal, all One energy.

How other people think, and speak about me is NONE of my business because it has NOTHING to do with me.

What other people think of me, and how they treat me has NOTHING to do with me.

How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only ONE thing, and it’s NOT me!

How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only one thing: How in alignment, or out of alignment they are with their own core energy.

How in alignment, or out of alignment THEY are with THEIR own core energy. (Not my energy.) It has NOTHING to do with me.

Trying to figure out why they don’t like me, or why they treated me like that, or what I did “wrong” is a complete WASTE of energy! Trying to change their mind is also a huge waste of energy, and generally backfires because we feel defensive.

Does it feel good to be liked by others?

Absolutely!

Is it necessary for your wellbeing?

Not a chance.

If we live in such a way as to BE what someone else wants us to be, we are not our true authentic self. To BE the YOU that you came here to be, you must learn to listen to the guidance INSIDE of YOU. When we look outside for guidance, it’s complete chaos! 

Why?

Have you ever tried to get EVERYBODY, or even a large group of people to agree on ANYTHING? Everyone has their own idea about what’s right or wrong, or effective, based ONLY on their own experience and viewpoint. They do NOT have a guide book with hard and fast rules that work for every life.

Diet as an example.
How much do people agree on what the perfect weight loss plan is?
Do you see that working for EVERYONE?

WHY follow a path that someone ELSE is excited and passionate about when you can choose to follow a path that excites YOU, and that YOU are passionate about? If we follow a path made of other people’s opinions, the magnificent fullness of who you came here to BE cannot be realized, and you are cheating the world out of the unique perspective, the individual viewpoint that is YOU.

This is the definition of giving away your power.

This does not mean we can’t live a life that serves others, or in service to others – as long as we CHOOSE it for ourselves. If you are living a life of service because someone else wants you to, FUCK that!

And we don’t want to choose service to others ABOVE serving our own needs! You are not an afterthought! You are the central character in your own story.

I worry that others are judging me!

This thought is a mirror in two ways.

1- You judge yourself harshly, so you see them judging you.
2- You are judging them to be judgers in the process.

No one is ever judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. If they do, cut them out of your life, or minimize time spent with them, or set healthy boundaries by telling them to stop it.

The more you love yourself, the less harshly you criticize yourself, the easier it will be to see them as less critical, and less judgemental.

While you are not giving a fuck about what people think, I would also LOVE for you to not give a fuck what people do!

Other people are not the boss of you.
You are also not the boss of them!

They get to choose what they think is right and best for them. When we try to choose for them, our energy becomes entangled.

Energy entanglements DRAIN us!

Think how much energy it takes to make decisions for yourself and run your own life. Do you REALLY have the energy to also do that for everyone you love, and strangers too?

If so, WHERE on earth did you find that rule book titled This is the ONE right way for everyone! by R.O. Gant?

HUGE energy drain, and…

This is the definition of taking away their power, and we drain our own power when we try.

Short of situations where someone is harming you or others, take a deep breath and let that shit go!

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Your Inner Critic Needs Love

Stop beating yourself up!

Stop beating yourself up for using food as a coping mechanism. Sometimes humans need to cope, and food has been proven repeatedly to be a brilliant coping mechanism. We feel bad, we eat food, we feel better. Every time. We are brilliant to have figured this out. Why berate yourself for doing what works?

If we find we are relying on food to cope too frequently, then it can be a problem in other ways, but still no need to be harsh with ourselves. It’s simply an opportunity to explore other ways of coping, or to release some of the stressors that make us feel as though we need to cope.

Stop beating yourself up for not eating a “perfect” diet. There is no one PERFECT diet, and anyone who tells you otherwise is selling something. Finding what’s perfect for your health and your body takes experimentation. Let’s not trash ourselves for experimenting to see what works and what does not.

Stop beating yourself up for not having a media-approved “perfect” body. Who the fuck gave media the right to approve what is perfect and what is not? Beauty is subjective, and attraction is chemistry, often having nothing to do with our looks or our size!

Stopping negative self talk is a CHALLENGING shift because we’ve been beating ourselves up for so many perceived imperfections for so long!

Acceptance of where we are is the first step in transforming our relationship with food and body. We often choose to beat ourselves up because we are not already where we wish to be, but that’s so silly. We are learning. We are on a learning journey. We want to be kind and loving toward ourselves, just like we would be with a toddler as he’s learning to walk. As he’s finding balance, we would never scold him for stumbling, so why do we do it to ourselves?

Diet culture has taught us how NOT to eat, and how to suppress our hunger cues. It’s no wonder we get confused about what to eat, when to eat, and how much to eat. We are learning how to be eaters. Constantly beating ourselves up for getting it wrong only delays the process, and slows our progress.

So how do we make that mindset shift from harsh inner critic, to loyal, loving, unwavering supporter?

It takes practice, and it takes time, and awareness is key.

We cannot change anything until we become aware of it, so the trick is to catch it when it’s happening. We need to become aware that we are being harsh, in the moment we are criticizing ourselves.

Sometimes the self-criticism is very subtle. It may be an old recording that plays so constantly in the background that it has become white noise, barely audible. But once we start looking for it, we do grow our awareness, and we begin to be aware in the moment. THAT is the magic moment when we can start to shift! 

ABC Process

Awareness
Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.

Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action.

As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:

Breathe
Take a nice deep grounding breath.

Choose 
Choose love.

Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose a voice you might use with someone you love, and care about, and would never criticize. Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.

It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up. 

When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love.

Grow on!

Practice cultivating awareness of when the critic is speaking.
Then take a deep grounding breath, and choose love.
Every chance you get.

Need help letting go of that harsh inner critic?

I’m leading a 21 day support group where we learn to let go of beating ourselves up! Click HERE for full details!

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Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care

YAY for triggers!

What are triggers? Triggers are a golden fucking opportunities to expand our awareness, and grow through challenge. Triggers are gifts from the Universe, pointing to that which needs our attention.

Triggers are personal to each of us, and they generally piss us off, or generate some other strong, emotional response. They’re the things that get under our skin, which DEMAND a reaction from us. Often we can’t NOT react. And frequently, looking back, we wish we had acted in some other way instead of the way we reacted.

Generally triggers are accompanied by a feeling of stress. Whether we react, or hold back the reaction we feel, stress or anxiety are activated inside us. Sometimes we also beat ourselves up for having reacted. (Why did I let them get to me? I should be past this by now! What’s wrong with me? Or similar thoughts.) This can add shame to the toxic mixture of emotions already triggered within us, and increases our perceived stress.

Humans get triggered by all sorts of things. Think repeated behaviors that annoy, like a partner dropping dirty clothes on the floor, leaving dishes in the sink, or not calling when they will be late. These behaviors don’t trigger me – and maybe not you either – but they are triggers for many people. Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Coworkers, children, politicians, parents, or pets can all trigger us for different reasons.

Recently I was speaking with a client who has two new kittens that she adores. They are young, and energetic, and often misbehave and steal small, important objects and hide them out of reach. As we were talking, a new game popped into my head. 

What if every time the misbehaved kittens trigger frustration, we create an opportunity for self-love instead?

Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care

I suggested she make a list of everything she considers self-care, write each item on a slip of paper, and place the slips of paper into a hat, a fishbowl, or a fancy box. Then every time the kittens misbehave, she reaches into the fishbowl and pulls out a self-care prize, instead of shooting herself in the foot with stress, reactivity, blame, and shame. 

She loved the idea, and so do I!
I encourage everyone to play.

The game allows us to be triggered into self care, and replace stress-building reactions with desirable actions that reduce stress and build healthy habits! Of course you don’t need misbehaved kittens to play. You could play Annoying Coworker Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or Inattentive Spouse Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or my current personal favorite, Puppy Poops on the Carpet Russian Roulette of Self-Care.

So how do you define self-care?

Anything qualifies that makes YOU feel cared for, held, and supported. The header contains lots of great possibilities for self-care, and below is a short list. I encourage you to personalize your list to include your favorites, and only use those that truly resonate for you. Some women love to get pedicures and look forward to them as a pampering treatment. Others find them tedious, and don’t enjoy having their feet touched. There is no right or wrong. It’s about whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, cared for, and loved. 

Self-Care possibilities:

Make a gratitude list.
Dance for 5 to 10 minutes.
Schedule a massage.
Journal.
Get a mani-pedi.
Journal while you get a mani-pedi.
Fix a cup of your favorite tea.
Take a nap.
Sing your favorite song, and really belt it out.
Do some mirror work.
Take 10 slow deep breaths.
Take a 10 minute yoga break.
Sit in the jacuzzi.
Take a walk.
Spend time in the sun.
Write yourself a love note.
Go to bed early.
Call an uplifting friend.
Look at beautiful photos of nature.
Create art.

Grow on!

Make your own list of self-care.
Write each item on a slip of paper.
Place them in a container that pleases you.
Now when you feel triggered, you can choose to react by reaching for self-care.

Header image photo credit – Thanks to Western Oregon University!

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Good Food, Bad Food, New Food, Blue Food

Which foods are good and which are bad?

Trick question! Foods are not good or bad.

When we label a food “bad” and then we choose to eat that food, we see ourselves as bad for having eaten it. For many people, the next step is to beat ourselves up for making a bad choice.

Often if we label a food “good” then we feel that we should include it in our diet. If we choose not to eat the “good” food, we interpret that as being bad, and often beat ourselves up for that choice as well.

Let’s update our labels!

Foods can nourish us, fuel our body, give us vitality and life force energy. Foods can also deplete us, draining our energy by providing few (if any) nutrients, or by producing toxins that require extra energy to move them out of the body.

If we label foods nourishing or depleting, we remind ourselves how they make us feel so we can make an informed choice. I’m allowed to choose depleting foods if I want, knowing that I will likely feel depleted after eating them. If it is my intention to choose more nourishing foods, then the labels clearly point to the choice I will enjoy.

I don’t want to give up pizza!

What if our favorite foods deplete us? Do we have to give them up forever and ever? No! The dose makes the poison. Identifying a depleting food doesn’t mean you never get to eat it again. It may mean we want to give it up for a short time as an experiment to see what happens with any symptoms we have. It probably means we don’t want to eat that food as a regular part of our daily meals. Occasionally allowing ourself the pleasure of enjoying a favorite food that we know depletes us keeps us from feeling deprived, and doesn’t deplete as much as it would if we were choosing it daily.

Replacements or alternatives?

If one of our old foods is no longer serving us, finding new foods we love can be fun! Some foods that are common allergens (think wheat and dairy) now have replacements available in the grocery store. Gluten free breads and pizza crusts are quite common, and many companies produce dairy free cheeses, sour creams, yogurts, and ice cream. I’d like to point out that many of these replacements can contain ingredients just as likely to cause reactions as the originals they imitate, and can actually make us crave the “real thing” that feels forbidden, and enticing. Like all packaged foods, it pays to use caution and read labels thoroughly.

That having been said, I am a huge fan of plant-based dairy alternatives made at home. You can read about the cream in my coffee at this link. You can make a highly credible parmesan with Brazil nuts, and I love nice-cream made with frozen bananas and oat milk!

Let’s update our tastebuds!

Rather than trying to replace old foods, finding alternative choices can be a revelation, and actually rewires our tastebuds. Taste is an intelligence. When we eat junk food, we dumb down the taste buds. When we introduce nourishing foods that are naturally delicious, our taste buds will actually start to crave something new.

My favorite texture is creamy. My tastebuds used to turn to dairy for sweet, creamy goodness. Now I crave mangoes, fresh blueberries topped with coconut milk, avocados, and cashews. I’m not focussed on what I’m missing, because I enjoy what I’m eating even more!

Grow on!

What new foods would you like to explore?
Make a list and explore them!
Keep track of the ones you love and buy them again.
Which foods are you choosing that deplete your energy?
Are you willing to do a little experiment, and let that depleting food go for a week or two?

It’s important to remember that this is NOT forever, it’s simply an experiment to see what happens.

Need help getting ready to release a particular food that depletes you? I help my clients with this sort of thing all the time! Contact me HERE for a short chat to see if I’m the right coach to help with what you’re growing through!

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Learn to Love Your Paintbrush

Glennon Doyle is one of my sheroes.

Her book, Untamed was life changing for millions of women. Years before that book released, Glennon was already writing to empower women. On July 6, 2014, she posted YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR MASTERPIECE.

This piece resonates deeply for me!

I want each of us to learn to love the skin we are in! I want every single person on the planet to have a healed, loving relationship with their own body.

I see so many women struggling with weight and body image as if it’s the most important thing in life! Cultural advertising has been telling us forever that in some way or other, we are not enough, that we do not match their standards for beauty. It makes me so fucking angry that the most articulate thing that occurs to me is “Fuck their fucking standards!”

Luckily for us, Glennon Doyls is much more eloquent in her ire. Here, for your upliftment, your thriving, your empowerment, I share this original work from Glennon Doyle.

Read it. re-read it. Let it seep into your soul. Take it to heart.

𝗬𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗶𝘀 NOT 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗺𝗮𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗽𝗶𝗲𝗰𝗲 — 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗳𝗲 𝗶𝘀.
by Glennon Doyle

It is suggested to us a million times a day that our BODIES are PROJECTS. They aren’t. Our lives are. Our spirituality is. Our relationships are. Our work is.

Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you’ve got to offer the world. Your body is not your art, it’s your paintbrush. Whether your paintbrush is a tall paintbrush or a thin paintbrush or a stocky paintbrush or a scratched up paintbrush is completely irrelevant.

What is relevant is that YOU HAVE A PAINTBRUSH which can be used to transfer your insides onto the canvas of your life — where others can see it and be inspired and comforted by it.

Your body is not your offering. It’s just a really amazing instrument which you can use to create your offering each day.

Don’t curse your paintbrush. Don’t sit in a corner wishing you had a different paintbrush. You’re wasting time. You’ve got the one you got. Be grateful, because without it you’d have nothing with which to paint your life’s work. Your life’s work is the love you give and receive — and your body is the instrument you use to accept and offer love on your soul’s behalf. It’s a system.

We are encouraged to obsess over our instrument’s SHAPE — but our body’s shape has no effect on it’s ability to accept and offer love for us. Just none. Maybe we continue to obsess because as long we keep wringing our hands about our paintbrush shape, we don’t have to get to work painting our lives. Stop fretting.

The truth is that all paintbrush shapes work just fine — and anybody who tells you different is trying to sell you something. Don’t buy. Just paint.

No wait — first, stop what you are doing and say THANK YOU to your body — right now. Say THANK YOU to your eyes for taking in the beauty of sunsets and storms and children blowing out birthday candles and say THANK YOU to your hands for writing love letters and opening doors and stirring soup and waving to strangers and say THANK YOU to your legs for walking you from danger to safety and climbing so many mountains for you. 

Then pick up your instrument and start painting this day beautiful and bold and wild and free and YOU. 
– by Glennon Doyle

www.facebook.com/thewestgallery

Please, my beautiful friends, if you are obsessing over perfecting your body, feel free to let that shit go, and enjoy painting your life!

If you are ready to stop obsessing and start painting, Mind Body Eating Coaching can help! Follow THIS LINK to schedule a free chat, or a Discovery Session to get started!

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Even on Shitty Days

I don’t feel like writing a fucking blog post today. I don’t see any sunny side at the moment. I am not inspired, nor do I feel inspiring. My dog had surgery yesterday and kept me awake all night trying to get the cone off his head. I have a tension headache the size of Montana. My spine is out of alignment causing me to be off work, so my finances feel out of alignment. My perspective is out of alignment with my higher self, and my human is screaming WTF?! 

I don’t even want to listen to my favorite podcast to try and lift my vibe! What’s wrong with me?! WHY is everything going wrong? What did I DO to deserve this mess!?

Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckitall!

I rest my head in my hands, rub my temples and take a deep breath. When I find I haven’t the energy to scream, I exhale with force through gritted teeth. 

In that small, quiet space following my exhale, I can hear my higher being for just a moment, just long enough to whisper my new mantra to me.

Nothing has gone wrong.
Everything is perfect.
All is well.

“Well it sure doesn’t FEEL as if all is fucking well,” I retort with just as much snark as I can muster. But I have softened. Just a bit, but enough. 

I know enough to know that even if I can’t see the gift (the lesson my soul is hungry to learn) in the moment, my new mantra is right. Nothing ever goes wrong. All goes according to Divine plan. I trust the Universe to have my back, which means I can relax, and right now relaxation is exactly what I need.

Nothing has gone wrong.

I am simply having a human experience – not good nor bad – just human. Sometimes we get out of alignment with our highest self, and that’s ok! That’s part of the plan, to get out of alignment and find our way back. And it’s fine if I don’t want to find my way back right this minute! We can always learn something from spending time in misalignment. Sometimes we learn it in the moment, and sometimes we learn in hindsight, but simply remembering that nothing has gone wrong, allows us to relax a bit, allows the resistance to soften.

I’m still exhausted from not sleeping, but I am no longer shoulding on myself. I don’t beat myself up for being out of alignment. I accept it as part of being human, part of my experience, and give myself a fucking break!

In fact, I do deserve a break. I think I’ll schedule a massage, and if any voices in my head try to tell me I don’t deserve it, they can fuck right the hell off.

Yeah. I’m feeling better!

Practice my new mantra for awhile if it feels good to you. 

Or find a mantra that reminds you of your power and practice that.
I find that it really helps. Especially on the shitty days. 

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Just a magical fucking reminder…

I am magic. I know I am magic, and no one can stop my magical ass!

I have a T-shirt that announces this truth to the world, and yet sometimes I still forget. Why? Because I’m human. When humans come here from nonphysical, we agree to forget our magic so that we can have the expansive experience of finding our way back to our magic, back to our power – the power of All that Is.

We come here intending to find our way back to magic, and to remind our fellow travelers of the Truth that we are all made of magic, and that we are surrounded by miracles everywhere.

At our core – each of us is magic with the power that creates worlds at our disposal. And we are also magically human.

Being human comes with challenges. We can experience confusion and doubt about our own magic. Some of us have been taught by other humans that magic is not real, yet we may sense it’s presence occasionally and feel drawn toward it. Even those of us who strongly believe in magic are human with human challenges.

When those who are asleep to their own magic lash out in fear at the magic-believing human, it can feel like a punch in the gut. It can feel like being plunged into darkness where the light of our own magic does not shine.

This does not mean that anything has gone wrong!

If we do not experience darkness, how can we know that we prefer the light? The darkness is simply one experience. It is not permanent. Whatever emotion we experience – positive or negative – is temporary and will pass.  

Acceptance of the unwanted emotion is key. 

We can face it head on and say something like, “I would prefer to not feel this emotion, but it is the emotion I am feeling, so I will choose it. I will allow myself to feel it, and be with it until it begins to transform.” 

We can dance with unwanted emotions, or hike with them to help move them more quickly through our experience. Any enjoyable physical activity helps move emotions. We can sit calmly with the unwanted emotion as if it were a visitor, and ask what message it has for us. Welcoming unwanted emotions and listening to them diminishes them, and empowers us.

Emotions are energy in motion. If we resist them, they stay with us longer, and can sometimes get stuck. If we choose to accept the experience of the unwanted emotion, the energy will stay in motion and transform more quickly.

Remembering our magic is key.

There is magic in reminding our fellow travelers of our magic. And while it is purpose-filled, and fulfilling to call others back to the light, we bear no responsibility for the ability of others to see their own light, or to connect with their magic.

Let go of people who tear you down and diminish your light, or make you doubt your own magic. Follow your inner light. Ascend into your own magic without feeling responsible for bringing everyone else along with you.

Find people who remind you that you ARE the light! Read books by authors that remind you that Source energy flows through you and everyone around you. Subscribe to blogs, tune in to podcasts, and watch YouTube videos that remind you of your magic and help reconnect you to the magical flow of life.

Grow on!

When you discover that someone or something in your life diminishes you, or depletes your energy repeatedly, have the courage to let it go.

Make a list of all the people, places, books, or blogs that remind you of your magic. Enjoy everything on your list frequently! Share those uplifting sources with everyone to remind them of their light too! 

In my toy box, I keep a running list of resources that inspire the crap outta me and my clients. Share your favorites with us in the comments and I’ll add them to the list!

Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toy Box
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There is no death. We do not die.

Death is a paradox. For those who pass, death is freeing, expansive, exhilarating, and joyful. Those left grieving may feel sadder, and heavier than at any time in our lives. Grief is the place, perhaps, where we most keenly feel separation. We feel as though our loved one has gone, and we cannot reach them anymore. And as real as that thought feels, nothing could be farther from the truth.

There is no separation between us and them, between where we stand and where they have gone. Those who have made the transition from physical to nonphysical are right here with us. Always. They are interested now in all of the things they were always interested in. They are present with us and interested in our experience. They never leave us. They are here now. And now. And now. No matter how long ago they left their physical body, they love us eternally. They are with us continuously. If they were still physical we would trip over them, they are constantly THAT close.

This doesn’t mean we won’t feel grief, sadness, or loneliness after a loss. On the contrary. Experiencing separation, then finding our way back to love and oneness is our purpose in coming here! If we wanted an existence of pure joy and unconditional love, we need never leave nonphysical to come here and be human. 

But nothing beats the thrill of feeling all of the emotions that humans feel. Nothing feels more exhilarating than feeling separation, then remembering our Oneness, our connection, our inner Light. 

Everything is vibration, or frequency. On this physical plane, our vibration is slow and heavy. On the nonphysical plane, the vibration is fast and light. That is how those in nonphysical can exist alongside us without us perceiving them. It’s like we are tuned into one radio station called low and slow, and they are broadcasting on a different station called flying high. 

Consciously tuning ourselves more toward ‘flying high’ allows us to begin to receive our nonphysical friends more often, to feel our connection to them again, to perceive that they are still with us, and feel less alone.

I am not suggesting that we should not feel sadness or loss. Please do! Feel it as deeply as you dare. Experience the grief for as long as seems right for you. But then, when you begin to feel ready, remember that we are not separate from those we love. Remember that they are with us here and now, and allow the feeling of connection to resume.

Watch for messages from them, because they will find ways to tell you they love you. Look for them in rainbows, in the sunlit sparkles dancing across the water, in the quiet morning hours between awake and asleep, in the artistic splendor of a sunset. Look for them when you play their favorite game, at the card table or on the golf course. Feel their presence as you walk along the beach, or through the trees.

Whenever I get goose bumps I say hello to my aunt Verla. I also greet her when I see a cardinal, a turtle, or a duck. These symbols meant something to her in the flesh, and they mean something to her now. They are our sacred meeting places, and it is impossible to feel alone when I allow myself to connect to her presence.

Death is part of the illusion. We are One. All is well.

Grow on!

Every time you think of the one you lost, look around. They are with you! Where do you see/feel their presence?

Ask them questions you might ask them if they were still physical, then be open to receiving their answers. They can still guide us through intuition and inspiration. They can inspire others to tell us what they want us to know.

If you sit quietly and breathe deeply, what would they want you to know?

Consider these two famous poems about NOT dying.
Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep
Death is Nothing at All

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Power Up!

How often do you charge your cell phone? Put gas in your car?

WHY so freaking often?!

Because when we use something constantly, that’s how fast the energy gets consumed.

Now, how often do you use your body?
And how frequently are you charging your batteries? 
Do you know how to refuel your own energy?

These are crucial questions to consider, and ones I ask my clients every week. One of the biggest reasons we can feel depleted is because we have no idea how to fuel up, fill our reserves, charge our batteries. The things that drain our energy are unending, and come at us all day every day. Just lying still breathing requires some energy! If we actually go out in the world to school, careers, social engagements, and all the rest, we are constantly spending our energy supply.

If we are not making space in our schedule to recharge, or have no idea where to go to plug in, is it any wonder we feel drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed?

We can optimize health and energy by defining what recharges us (energy gains), and releasing any energy drains that are optional. 

Killing Time vs. Creating Fun

Just to be clear – relaxed scrolling, or watching TV is not the same as being plugged in. There is nothing wrong with those activities, but they can’t really be counted as recharging. It’s kind of like not charging the phone, but not using it either.  We end up with no net loss or gain in energy. Our battery charger MUST be plugged in for a gain in energy to occur, so simple “down-time” activities like scrolling social media or watching entertainment are not inherently energy building and should not be included when listing energy gains. 

Rather than helping us disengage (like watching or scrolling), energy gains are usually things that engage our energy and feel like fun. With this distinction in mind, we can begin to define a list of people, places, and practices in our lives that actually feed us energy and fuel us up, and which ones drain our energy and leave us feeling exhausted and empty inside. 

The lists below are merely suggestions to get us thinking about what fills us with joy, and where we actually choose to spend our energy supply. They are not meant to be all inclusive.

Maximize Energy Gains

  • Any self-care practices you already do, or want to begin doing.
  • Spend time in nature.
  • Look at beautiful nature photography.
  • Enjoy nature videos on YouTube.
  • Move your body in any way that’s FUN.
  • Read uplifting books and articles.
    – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM!
  • Listen to inspiring podcasts.
    – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM, but with your ears.
  • Talk to a coach or therapist.
    – This is an excellent way to personalize a shift in mindset.
  • Breathe deeply.
  • Relax often.
  • Slow down with meals to gain more pleasure from your food.
  • Offer yourself unconditional love.
    – This takes practice, and often requires support from others.
  • Frequently tell yourself and others what you appreciate in them.
  • Hug everyone.
  • Say what you think always, but say it with love.
    – Speaking our truth is essential for health, and so is not harming others with our words or emotions.
  • Schedule time to do the things that make you happy!
    – THIS is the key to increasing the energy available to us!
  • Dive into my toy box and find lots inspiring ideas!
Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toy Box

Play with any or all of these as feels right in your experience!

Minimize Energy Drains

  • Negative self talk!
    – This is the most energy draining activity humans do.
  • Neglecting self-care.
  • Judging self and others.
    – Everyone is right where we need to be, and doing the best we can in each moment.
  • Negative emotions like anger, frustration, irritation, depression, fear, guilt, worry…
    – These are NORMAL human emotions to feel and then move through, and they drain our energy when we get stuck in them.
  • Doing things you do NOT want to do.
    – Don’t force yourself to say yes when you want to say no.
  • NOT doing things you want to do!
    – Not doing what charges our batteries drains our energy double time.
  • Limiting beliefs.
    – Any thought we keep thinking that keeps us from moving forward.
  • Taking things personally.
    – Their behavior is never about me and always about them.
  • Poor quality food.
    – Nourishing foods increase our energy. Poor quality foods deplete our energy.
  • Gossip and drama.
  • People-pleasing.
  • Clutter, disorganization.
    – Visual clutter can drain our energy.
  • Overuse of caffeine, sugar, or alcohol.
    – There is nothing wrong with using some caffeine, sugar, or alcohol, and overuse of any of these powerful substances will deplete our energy.

Play with watching what shows up in your experience. 
Play with identifying where your energy is leaking.
Play with letting go of these as you become willing to release them!

Once we create our own lists, we are able to make choices based on how much energy we have, and how we most want to spend it!

Grow on!

Try creating your own lists of what fills your fuel tank and what leaves you feeling empty! Then schedule some of the battery chargers in your calendar, and play with letting go of some of the behaviors that drain you.

Please reach out if I can help! Schedule a chat at THIS LINK so we ca connect!

Call me at 707-515-8324!