Stop Choosing Extra Helpings of Stress

The dictionary says stress is a state of mental or emotional tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.

The dictionary is wrong.  How do I know?  Because stress is a feeling – an emotion – and the only place our emotions come from is from the thoughts we think.

Adverse or very demanding circumstances will absolutely cause some people to think thoughts that lead to feeling stressed.  Those exact same adverse or very demanding circumstances will cause others to think thoughts that lead to feeling exhilarated.

Our Thoughts create our Emotions, which drive our Actions.
We each brew our own TEA.

What Thoughts/Emotions/Actions am I conjuring?

Since this is absolutely true, we want to select our thoughts with great care and intention.  

Self-chosen stress vs normal, natural stress.

What is a “normal” or natural life stress?  These are stressors that we cannot control, like aging, health concerns, natural disasters, financial setbacks.  Those kinds of stress show up in every life, and Google can offer myriad advice on how to handle them.  I want to talk about optional stress – the stress we choose that is completely unnecessary – yet is often MORE damaging to our health and peace of mind than natural stress.

Self-chosen stressors include, but are not limited to:

  • negative self-talk
  • self body shaming & body hate
  • adopting weight loss strategies that are stringent & impossible to maintain
  • artificially controlling appetite
  • limiting a needed macronutrient such as protein, fat, or carbohydrates
  • believing we are unlovable, and will never be loved unless we lose weight or look different
  • trying to create an impossible-to-have body
  • unfavorably comparing oneself to others
  • believing we are alone in this world, or that the universe is against us

The list goes on, and is different for each of us.  When we choose these stressors, we live under a constantly higher level of stress than is necessary. 

Most of us have plenty of natural stress in life, so why would we choose this type of self-harming thinking?  We have been conditioned over a lifetime to choose these stressors. We didn’t make this stuff up.  We didn’t invent thinking negative thoughts about ourselves.  The world we live in trained that behavior into us, some more than others.

Other than the fact that stress feels crappy, why do we want to begin learning how to let go of these self-chosen stressors?  Constant stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:

  • weight gain
  • inability to lose weight
  • inability to build muscle
  • decreased calorie burning
  • increased fat deposits at midsection
  • increased inflammation
  • gut microbiome die off
  • nutrient wasting
  • decreased energy
  • appetite deregulation
  • desensitivity to pleasure
  • decreased metabolism
  • decreased Thyroid function 
  • decreased oxygen uptake
  • poor sleep

So how do we begin to let go of these self-chosen stressors?

Awareness is always the first step.
We cannot change it if we do not see it.

The Grow on! section below includes a way to begin cultivating more awareness around self-chosen stress.

Don’t beat yourself up for thinking stressful thoughts!  It’s a conditioned human behavior. Give yourself some grace, practice letting go of self-chosen stressors, and see what happens for yourself!

Grow on!

How does stress show up in your body?   
Write a physical description of how it feels when you are STRESSED about something. For some people it will include sweaty palms, or a racing heart. For others it might feel like a twist in the solar plexus or a kick in the gut. Whatever it is for you, take a minute to describe the physical sensations that arise for you when you feel stressed out.

Practice awareness by noticing these physical symptoms each time they show up. As you become aware that you are feeling your symptoms of stress – ask yourself what thought you were thinking that caused the symptoms. Then ask yourself if it is a life stress, or a self-chosen stress.

If it is something you are choosing to think/believe, what will it take to give self permission to let it go?

Reframing thoughts is a superpower that grows with coaching! 

If you are ready to let go of some of your self-chosen stress and need some help or guidance, I would love to chat with you! Click THIS LINK to schedule a free conversation to see if I am the right coach for you!

The magical power of the almighty list!

Ah, yes, the humble list.  People tend to love the list or hate the list, but as tools go it’s pretty extraordinary for both action-taking individuals and procrastinators alike.  I love lists!  When I have a big project going, I make a list of the lists I need to make.  My mother is a list maker, so maybe it’s hereditary.  I refer to my lists frequently, and often recommend making a list as a helpful tool for my clients.  

Last week, one of my clients told me that when she makes a list, she invariably loses it.  I asked her how often she loses her phone.  When she admitted that she’s never without that vital instrument for communication, I asked her to play with the idea of keeping the list in her phone.  If you are at your computer screen frequently, you could try keeping your lists in a document on your desktop.  I keep a list of ideas in an email draft that I never plan to send to anyone.  I can access the draft on my phone or computer, and print it out if I need a hard copy.

I’ll never forget when a friend expressed her utter disdain for lists. 

“If I write it down and don’t get it done, that’s like failing.  Every time I make a list I end up feeling overwhelmed, or like I’ve failed.  It’s one or the other and I don’t like either, so I don’t make lists.”

No wonder she hates lists, it made perfect sense.  Every time she made a list, she was using it like a whip to drive herself forward, or punish herself for what she labeled as failure.  Used as a weapon against oneself, the list becomes hateful, instead of valuable.

The list is not a whip.  It’s a basket.

A basket is not punishing.  A basket is quiet.  It sits humbly and holds what we put into it until we are ready to retrieve what we put there.  

Something that can cause me a great deal of stress is worrying that I might forget something important.  I run three businesses with a lot of moving parts, and I get a lot of ideas.  When I get a particularly good idea, my mind runs in circles with it’s arms clutched about the idea thinking, “I must not lose this gem!  MUST hold onto thought.”  That fear of losing something causes unnecessary anxiety – especially if my mind is trying to hold onto several good ideas at the same time.  Lists help me keep track of items without the constant mind juggling.  As soon as I add the idea to the appropriate list, I can let it go, knowing it will be here for me when I come back for it.  Anything that helps relieve stress is magical in my book.

Lists allow us to see everything at a glance.

When the time is right to take action on listed items, a quick glance reveals our options.  I often look at the list of what I’d like to accomplish and pick the one that sounds most fun in this moment.  Alternatively I can choose the item I least look forward to and do that first. Then anything else I mark off the list seems like a cake walk.

I have a basket full of spiritual practices that raise my vibration.  I don’t feel compelled to do all of them every day, but I don’t want to forget about the ones I like doing once in awhile which is easy to do if they are out of sight.  I can browse the list any time and magically pick the one that feels right in the moment.

Lists help us prioritize!

We can make the list in order of importance, or once the list is complete, we can go back and order it numerically, or just add stars to the most important items.

People who are helpers and caregivers can sometimes over-give.  If you are someone who tends to do more for others than for yourself, you are not alone!  When my clients fall into this category, they are often feeling resentful.  I ask them to make a list of the things they want to do for their own health and well-being, and things they want to accomplish. 

The list then becomes a magical tool that can help us stop over-giving.

When someone asks us to help them, we can use the list to discern whether we actually have time to help them, and if their “to-do” is a higher priority than the starred items on our own list.  We can even use one or more items on the list to postpone helping someone, or even say “no” to helping them once in a while.  How would it feel to say, “I am willing to help you with this after I complete (your priority task).”  Or, “I promised not to say yes to helping anyone until I finish writing my resume.”  You get the idea.

The list is an incredibly simple and free tool, yet powerful enough to relieve stress, remind us of our priorities, help us say no, and create what we want to create. 

I’m a fan!

Grow on!

How frequently are you using lists? 
Are you using them as a whip or a basket?
Where is the place you find most effective to keep your lists?
What list could you use right now to help you create what you wish? 
Try making a list of all the lists that might be helpful to you!  Remember these are just baskets to hold great ideas for later! 

Be Your Own Best Valentine

Regardless of our relationship status, each of us deserves to feel loved unconditionally. 

Even when we have romance, it’s possible to feel less loved than we might like sometimes.  The other person in the relationship is human after all.  What if they forget Valentine’s Day, or your birthday?  It more likely means they were focused on something else, rather than they don’t love you, but it’s normal to feel less than completely loved in those situations.

It feels amazing and wonderful to experience love and validation from the world around us, of course it does. We’ll take all of that we can get! But it’s also crucial to cultivate unconditional self-love.

When we deprive ourselves of a deep self-love (which is frequently the case for humans) we actually block ourselves from fully receiving all the love that is flowing to us.  When we refuse to practice self-love, we unconsciously teach others that self-love is not worth practicing.  When we practice the opposite of self-love, beating ourselves up, telling ourselves we are not enough, feeling shame about our bodies, guilt about our food, or questioning our own worthiness, then we increase stress to both mind and body, decrease our energy, weaken our immune system, accelerate disease processes, and feel disconnected from Spirit.

Cultivating deep self-love allows others to love us more deeply, and unconsciously allows others to love themselves more deeply.  Cultivating deep self-love gives us more energy, allowing us to offer more energy to the people and projects we love.  Cultivating deep self-love provides a sense of balance and stability when the world around us is in chaos.  Cultivating deep self-love means our cup is always full to overflowing, so when we choose to serve others we do not deplete ourselves.  Cultivating deep self-love boosts our immunity, and is the healthiest thing we can do for body, mind, and spirit.

photo by Dani Navarro

So I invite each of you to become your own best Valentine!

NOT just on February 14, please. I invite you to be your own best Valentine every single day.  Make sure that connecting with You becomes a priority, until it becomes a habit.  Add time to your schedule each week to date yourself and use that time to connect with You, do something you enjoy, and charge your batteries.  Use the list below as inspiration to create your own ever-changing list of at least ten to twelve things you enjoy doing alone.  When the time you have selected arrives in your schedule, choose something off your list and enjoy!

Don’t put it off, or say you’ll do it later! How would you feel if your lover rescheduled a date?  It would likely make us feel undervalued, or taken for granted! I know that’s how I would feel.  Would we put off a date with someone we were truly in love with to do the laundry ,or scroll the internet, or work overtime?  Not unless it was a true emergency!  Right?

Don’t make yourself feel like an afterthought!  Make yourself number one!  Schedule a date to do something you love with You now, and show yourself how truly loved and appreciated you are!  The BEST way to feel loved and well-cared for is to immerse ourselves in unconditional love consistently, every single day.

Grow on!

These ideas are NOT just for single people!
Don’t forget to turn off your cell phone so you can be totally present with You.

Ideas for dating your beautiful self include, but are in no way limited to:

  • Watch sunrise/sunset at a local beach/park.
  • Lie on a beach, or in your backyard and feel the sun on your skin.
  • Take yourself to a feel-good movie.
  • Visit a museum.
  • Cook your favorite dish.  Put flowers and candles on the table.
  • Take a good book, your journal, or a favorite podcast to the park and spread a blanket in the grass.
  • Create a romantic atmosphere in the bathroom and enjoy a steaming bath with Epsom salts, coconut oil, and lavender.
  • Take yourself to a local cafe to be alone with your thoughts.  Bring your journal.
  • Get dressed up and take a dance class.
  • Write a love letter to yourself.
  • Take yourself to a fancy restaurant and read the love letter to yourself while you wait for your meal.
  • Take a long walk at sunrise or sunset.
  • In front of a mirror, look deeply into your own eyes, and make a list of everything you appreciate about yourself.
  • Take a picnic somewhere pretty and revel in your own company.
  • What’s your favorite thing to do?  Add it to the list!

Stop and Play in the Sandbox!

I know I have talked about my favorite podcast before, Spiritual Sandbox with Amit West and Jill Lebeau. So at the risk of repeating myself,

What a fucking BRILLIANT podcast!  

Jill and Amit bring so much joy and light to my world!   Their podcast is a gift, and I love playing with them in the Spiritual Sandbox!

Currently they have fourteen episodes to which I listen repeatedly to absorb the joyful vibration and the pure, unconditional love!  It never fails to open my heart and release any stress I was holding. Each and every one of them is my favorite episode, but the newest episode with special guest Karen Drucker might be my most favorite.  Karen is an extraordinary woman who writes and sings songs meant to heal, inspire and empower.

Not only am I adding Karen’s music to my Fabulous Fucking Toolbox, but during the podcast she mentions a tool she uses – the fun file – that I am also adding to my FF Toolbox!  

The episode left me jubilant!  Karen is full of joy and enthusiasm – much like Jill and Amit – and I felt positively giddy as I scrolled Karen’s website downloading her musical affirmations. I quickly had several of the catchy tunes lodged neatly in my brain. I found Money is Coming to Me, Gifts of the Goddess and I Give Myself Permission to be particularly catchy. I felt joyful dancing around my living room!

Karen writes music to inspire a positive vibration.  She creates beautiful positive affirmations set to inspiring rhythms and I absolutely adore all of it!  Karen talked about writing a song for a friend undergoing treatment for cancer, called Healed, Whole, and Healthy.  Her intention was for her friend to listen to the song as a vibrational healing tool while getting her physical treatments. “Like putting a double whammy on the disease,” she said. I love this idea!

We receive so much negative messaging throughout our day, Karen’s songs shift that messaging back toward love, back toward the Divine in each of us.  Her chants help us reframe the messages in our head that want us to believe we are not enough, the voice that tells us to play small, and fear the unknown.

As an energy coach, reframing is my favorite tool. Karen’s music takes that tool to astounding new heights!  If you’re looking for a really fun way to lift your vibe on a daily basis, I highly recommend all of her chant CD’s.  You can also purchase collections like healing or prosperity if you want to focus on a particular manifestation.

Grow on!

What are you doing every day to raise your vibration?
Try playing in the Spiritual Sandbox and see if that feels like fun to you!
Listen to Karen Drucker on YouTube or her website and see if you don’t feel deeply happy and inspired!

Count Your Fucking Blessings

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

I recently saw a friend that I hadn’t seen since COVID began.  She told me about some homeowner challenges she faced, and about the anxiety that arose around the subject of her home.  It had her thinking maybe she should sell while the market is high, after all it might be worth more right now than it ever will be again.  She described feeling stuck in her energy, and being unmotivated.

Then she said something so simple, so wise, so profound:

“I chose to see the house as a blessing instead of a burden, and everything shifted.”

Her stuck energy unstuck.  She started creating art again.  She’s manifesting new opportunities for connections and finances.  She feels lighter and happier.  All because she chose to see the house – and ALL the challenges it presents – as blessings, and part of her learning adventure.  She listed all the things she loves about her home, and all the ways it inspires her creativity.  She even realized that she had fun learning about the home repairs as they happened.

One decision changed everything.  She chose to count her fucking blessings, and she is an inspiration for all of us who know her.

In the same week, I had a wonderful conversation with a client who described growing into a “lens of gratitude.”  She told me that often she finds herself shifting from the old story of “not enough” to a new appreciation for seeing things with gratitude.  I love that phrase!  Choosing to look through a “lens of gratitude” reminds us that shifting mindset can be as easy as putting on a new set of glasses.

What will shift for me when I look through my lens of gratitude instead of a lens of criticism, or fear?

Both these women reminded me of the tremendous value in simply counting my fucking blessings! 

My lungs inflate and bring oxygen to my blood without me ever thinking about it!  What a blessing.  The sun came up – HUGE blessing!  Mortgage to pay?  I feel so blessed to have a roof over my head.  Flowers, blue sky, rain, my pets! The list of things and people which I appreciate is infinite!

And because energy attracts like energy, the more we look for and focus on what we appreciate, the more people and situations the Universe brings us to appreciate!

Celebrate Thanksgiving by feeling truly thankful. If you feel inspired, take a few minutes and make a list. Mental lists are great, but writing it down boosts our gratitude energy!

It’s simple and free, and feels really REALLY great!

Grow on!

This is the BEST recipe for the holiday season and every day!

Ingredients: ANY possible combination of the following (or others):

  • frustration
  • irritation
  • resentments
  • stressful situations
  • annoying relatives

Directions:
Count your fucking blessings.
When you become aware that these ingredients have been mixed into your day, stop, breathe, and count your fucking blessings.  If you are open to it, make a gratitude list about the person/situation you are encountering. If you’re just not ready to make a gratitude list about whoever is pushing your buttons, make a gratitude list about all the OTHER stuff you have to appreciate like running hot water, your cat, and the miracle of your lungs.

Ask Yourself this Important Question

Several times a day, I hear my partner ask our dog, “What do you need?”  Each time telepathy relays the answer and a walk ensues, or lunch, or a rousing game of squeaky ball.  I’m only human, so I started to feel a little resentful toward the dog, and wondered who was looking attentively after my needs.  

Well whose job is that?  (Hint: It’s not my partner’s, and when that’s what I think, I become resentful.)

After a little coaching, I remembered that it’s mine.  It’s my job to be sure my needs are being met.  So I started asking myself,

What do I need right now?

It’s incredible what a difference that little question makes!  Not only are more of my needs being met, but I feel genuinely cared for and supported! 

Crazy, right?

Eighty percent of the time the answer is water, so I hydrate.  Often I just need a few minutes to catch my breath, so I allow myself to sit and breathe.  Can you imagine?! When I need to catch my breath, I just sit and breathe for two minutes instead of feeling frustrated, and resentful that my needs are not being met, as I rush off to do whatever comes next.

It seems so simple, yet how often do we do it?  How often are we checking in with what we need in this moment?  The answer for most of us is not very often because our culture conditions us to think of that as being selfish, and regularly encourages us to put other’s needs before our own.

What we NEED shifts moment to moment and day to day, so it’s not going to be the same every time you ask/answer the question.  And what we need is not always the same as what we want.  We might want coffee to get us through the afternoon at work, but if we ask what we truly need and genuinely listen for the answer, we may find we need a twenty-minute nap, or a ten-minute walk outside, or a cup of herbal tea, or electrolytes.

What would it be like if we asked ourself this question once a day? Twice a day? All day long?  What changes when we ask the question before reaching for a processed snack food?  What will shift if we ask the question all week?

It’s possible we’ll feel more cared for and supported.  It’s possible we’ll feel happier and more relaxed.  We might even have more energy to give to the people and projects we’re passionate about.  Truly tuning in to our body’s needs will reveal deeper wisdom that might be the key to finally reaching our ideal weight.  We won’t know the vast extent of what’s possible until we try!

Grow on!

Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”

If it’s something simple like rest, water, or a bathroom break, give that to yourself! If it’s something bigger like a new career, you can ask, “what steps do I need to take right now to move in that direction?”


Coaching can help!

I offer the first TWO coaching sessions free of charge so you can see if coaching is right for you, and also see if I’m the right coach for you!  If we’re not a good match, I have a long list of peers to whom I can refer you.  You’ll walk away with at least one action step to move you toward your goal, so you have nothing to lose!  Book your first session HERE.

Enjoy the Moment!

Hello Everyone!

I have been on vacation in Croatia where I enjoyed the weather, the people, the architecture, the food, and every single moment I breathed vacation air.

I didn’t write anything for you this week because I was busy enjoying the moment every chance I got! Now I am home and thinking about all the fun we manifested, and enjoying those moments again! So I invite you to enjoy some of my vacation photos at this link: Cyndi & Jeremy’s Travel Blog.

Enjoy the moments that make you smile!

Everything Happens for a Purpose

I believe this adamantly, but we do NOT always get to know that purpose. It’s an act of faith which I practice whenever humanly possible, so it’s really NICE to have that faith validated clearly. I have an excellent example from recent personal experience!

I’ve been challenged with some nasty diverticulitis symptoms for the entire month of August.  At times it was so bad I feared for my trip to  Croatia this month.  I cursed my weak gut.  I cursed the diverticulitis.
I did not have nice things to say about Kaiser.  I was not in a happy state.  The stories in my head tried to run away with me…

But I practice being in alignment often enough that I knew what to do to start feeling better. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I began asking, “How is this happening for me?

I started bringing myself back into alignment with Source repetitively, over and over again joining with my Source, and doing my best to appreciate all that is happening FOR me.

I allowed myself to slow down and heal.  I canceled massage clients altogether, and took coaching clients via phone rather than face to face.  I hydrated, napped, and focussed on feeling better so I can enjoy that vacation I have been planning for more than a thousand days.

I started to appreciate the situation.

I started to feel appreciative of extra time to rest.  I appreciated having time to read a good book.  I appreciated my naturopath for guiding me in the healing process.  I appreciated the fact that it happened in August and NOT in September.  The wonderful timing meant I had time to heal before traveling!  How awesome is that?  I appreciated the fact that it gave me an opportunity to practice my alignment to Source.

Then I got even bigger evidence that this was happening for my highest good.

If I had been feeling well, I would have gone to see my favorite massage therapist.  I rescheduled hoping I would feel better, but she had to cancel the next appointment because she came down with COVID.  The appointment I canceled due to the diverticulitis would have exposed me to her before she knew she was contagious.

If I did not allow myself to rest and heal, I would have seen one of my coaching clients in person instead of shifting to a phone appointment.  The following week she texted to let me know that she had tested positive for COVID. Shifting to the phone appointment prevented me from being exposed to her before she knew she was contagious.

The Universe fucking adores me.

THANK YOU Universe for the gift of diverticulitis.
THANK YOU for giving me this chance to heal!
THANK YOU for preventing me from possibly getting COVID twice.
THANK YOU for the evidence once again that everything is always working out for me despite what my limited mind can see.

The worst is behind me and I am just feeling better and better from here on out!

I have a whole new appreciation for my gut, and the utmost intention of listening to her, and allowing her to guide me.

I have experiential evidence that PROVES the Universe adores me, and wants me to be fucking happy!

Grow on!

What challenge is happening for you right now?
How many ways can you find to appreciate some aspect of it?

Happy on the Way

How many of us have decided that we will be happy “when…”?

…when I lose weight.
.…when I find true love.
.…when I have a nice house.
.…when I get that great job.
.…when I have lots of money.
.…when I can travel the world.

Many who struggle with weight-reduction believe that if they can just reach their ideal body weight, they will suddenly achieve happiness.  Our culture conditions us to believe that thin, fit people are happier than those who are heavier, and therefore, if we become thinner, we will also be happy.

I cry bullshit!

If we don’t enjoy ourselves along the way, we won’t know how to enjoy ourselves when we arrive. If we don’t practice loving ourselves when we are heavy, we won’t know how to love ourselves when we are thin.

Let’s pretend the goal is simply to ENJOY a vacation.

Happy Hannah enjoys planning the trip, making the reservations, researching the itinerary.  She chooses pricier accommodations with stunning water views, because she values the way it makes her feel.  She enjoys setting aside money each week to grow her dream.  She enjoys thinking about the fun interactions that will happen with friendly people, and the beautiful sights she will see.  She enjoys going to the bank to buy euros, and makes friends enjoying virtual tours in the countries to which she will travel.  She frequently pauses to visualize herself enjoying the adventure.

Kalista Krabapple wants to travel too, but feels stressed out trying to find the cheapest airline ticket.  She worries about whether she will be able to drink the water, or if it will be safe to leave the resort.  She buys a travel bag meant to prevent theft.  She worries about money and decides to get the cheapest rooms even if it’s not quite what she wants, and feels a little resentful that she can’t afford better rooms.  She doesn’t like the way she looks in her swimsuit and decides not to swim while away.  Maybe by her next vacay she’ll finally lose the weight.  What if no one speaks English?

No one is going to blame Kalista for this train of thought!  This is normal human behavior.  Anyone might have any of these thoughts about travel.  

But who is going to enjoy her vacation more?  Is Kalista going to feel relaxed and happy while she’s away?  Or will her worried energy attract more things for her to worry and fuss about while she’s on vacation? 

Hannah has practiced happiness along the way, looking for things to enjoy and appreciate.  What kind of vacation experience is her energy going to attract?  Feeling happy attracts more to feel happy about.

Let’s say someone is looking for their soulmate. 

They know once they have their lover in their arms they will be happy ever after, but often worry their lover may never come.  “Why haven’t
I met them yet?  What if I never meet them? What if I am alone forever?”

Instead of allowing room for happiness today, they may project anxious, insecure energy, and settle for the first person who asks them on a date.  Since energy attracts like energy, it’s likely the ‘soulmate’ they settle for will also be anxious and insecure.  What will shift in this scenario if they take time to choose thoughts that allow them to feel happy and confident before their lover arrives?  What kind of energy will they attract then?

Shifting from negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts is worth the effort, and it takes time.

If my goal is to feel happy with my body (free and confident in my skin), beginning to feel appreciation for my body NOW will get me there more quickly. 

We start feeling free and confident when we start feeling free and confident!

We can choose to start feeling happy now, or after we lose 60 pounds.  The process will still take time.  Let’s say it’s X weeks since it’s different for everyone.  

We can feel happy X weeks from now, or X weeks from the moment we become 60 pounds lighter. Feel the difference?

If this resonates for you, you may be saying, “That makes good sense, but how on earth do I start feeling happy, free, and confident BEFORE
I reach that goal that I am certain will be my greatest joy?”

Fabulous question!  Glad you asked.

In next week’s blog post, I’ll talk about a process called Laddering Thoughts that helps people shift negative-feeling thoughts, gently toward thoughts that are more uplifting, so we can begin to feel lighter, freer, happier, and more confident.

Grow on!

What goal are you waiting to reach before you claim your happiness?
What would shift if you allowed yourself to feel happier NOW?
What are some of the thoughts you think regularly?
Do those thoughts bring you down, or lift you up?
What do you personally have to gain by shifting some of your thoughts?
What do you have to lose?  

Helping people shift thoughts is what I do! 

It’s one of my superpowers.

Coaching helps us shift our thoughts so we can get out of our own way and accomplish whatever we dream. 

If you want to find out if I’m the right coach to help you transform your life from where you are to where you’d like to be, schedule a free chat with me at this link!  I’d love to connect with you, and you’ll walk away with at least one action step to move you toward whatever goal you want to achieve.  What do you have to lose? 

Say “Good-Bye” to Worry

We cannot change anything until we are aware of it.  In my previous blog post, I talked about cultivating more awareness around what our emotions feel like in our bodies.

The reason we focused on that was so we could learn to become aware of our emotions.  At the magical moment we do become aware that we are experiencing an emotion – that is the place where our power of choice lies.  

As soon as you are aware that you are experiencing any emotion, ask yourself what thoughts you were thinking, because your thoughts are what cause your emotions.

The Process 

In the moment we become aware of feeling worried, we can identify the thoughts that cause our anxiety.  Once we accept that these thoughts are causing the anxiety, we have the power to choose different thoughts that make us feel differently.  We can continue choosing thoughts that cause us to worry – and who could blame us for choosing worry?  It’s certainly a valid option.  Worry is a familiar, well-worn pathway in our minds.  We’ve chosen the vibration of worry so frequently – in an auto-pilot like way – that some of us forget that we can choose another path.  

If we make the decision to set aside worry whenever possible, to release the weighted burden of worrying thoughts, we can use that moment of awareness to accept responsibility for the thoughts that cause our emotions.  NOT accepting responsibility for our emotions keeps us at the mercy of those emotions, because if we are not responsible for them, we are victim to our emotions, and therefore powerless to transform them.  We feel powerless when we feel we have no choice.

The Magical Moment of Power

  • We become aware (in the moment) that we are experiencing worry.  
  • We accept that the thoughts we are thinking are causing that worry.  
  • THIS is the moment where we can wield the power of choice.

NOW is when we get to choose. We can continue thinking thoughts that worry, or we can decide that we want to create new pathways in our mind.  We deliberately choose thoughts that allow us to feel DIFFERENTLY than the thoughts that cause a vibration of worry!

Awareness leads us back to our power.  Acceptance is the key to wielding our power. Choice is where our power lies.  It’s a process, and it takes practice. 

The more we practice awareness and acceptance, the more we feel empowered to choose, and then we trust the process more, and begin to relax into faith. We begin to understand that we have the power to control our own energy.  We don’t have to take that emotional roller coaster ride which drains us.  Instead we can respond intentionally with all of our energy present.

When we choose our own emotions/energy, by being aware of our thoughts, we can’t help but feel more confident, powerful, and in control!  

Does that mean we’ll never worry again?  Of course not.  But when worry does pop up, we’ll know it’s a choice which we can let go, rather than a burden we must carry indefinitely.  

Grow on!

What are you currently telling yourself about a situation you find worrisome?
Take out a clean sheet of paper and write a new story about the situation that feels LESS worrisome, writing ONLY things that you truly believe. Read that story until your vibration shifts, and then re-write the story again so that it feels even BETTER when you tell it. Repeat as often as needed.

I help people cultivate more awareness every day.  If this is something you’d like help with, click here to schedule a chat and see if coaching is the next right step for you.