The Importance of Being Self-Centered

Does self-care seem indulgent or selfish right now? 

Do you feel like you can’t take a break, ask yourself what you need, and then give that to yourself?  Does thinking of your own needs NOW make you a bad person?  No!  No it does not.

Most of us are feeling rage, or fear, or sadness, or shock or all of the above about the events happening in our world.  These emotions are catabolic and drain our energy.  They increase our stress levels, release cortisol that depletes our adrenals, and exhaust our physical apparatus.  How much good can we do if we show up to protest feeling hungry, tired, or overwhelmed?

Self-care is NOT indulgent.  Self care is CRUCIAL if you expect to help, uplift, or protect anyone – especially yourself!

The world NEEDS all of it’s warrior spirits right now!  

The time is here to stand up for what you believe in – which is altogether DIFFERENT than pushing against what you do not want – and you cannot stand for something if you are too exhausted to stand!

PLEASE do whatever you feel called to do, whatever you feel capable of doing to support our brothers and sisters of color, but please remember to take care of you first.  You will be a far more effective ally if your energy is fully engaged.

You are as deserving of love and care as the people you want to support and uplift.  And you will be a far more effective advocate for change if you feel positive and powerful instead of drug-out or depleted.

Here is a short list of options for self-care
adapted from Ana Verzone’s Freedom School:

▪ Learn to say “no.”
▪ Develop a relaxing evening ritual.
▪ Allow yourself to feel and express all of your emotions
▪ Bring you into the present moment.
▪ Create art as a form of anxiety and/or stress release.
▪ Remind yourself of the good stuff in life by writing a gratitude list.
▪ Stop being your harshest critic. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
▪ Do some stretching exercises.
▪ Take a walk.
▪ Drink more water.
▪ Go out and spend 10 minutes under the sun.
▪ Go for a bike ride to nowhere in particular.
▪ Spend time in nature.
▪ Go to bed early.
▪ Avoid toxic people.
▪ Ask for help. Let people know you need some help.
▪ Call a trusted friend or family member and talk things out.
▪ Schedule a date night with yourself.
▪ Limit the time you spend on news/social media.
▪ Make time for meditation.
▪ Do a body scan, and check in with each part of your body.
▪ Do something nice for someone in secret.
▪ Donate money to a charity of your choosing.
▪ Spend time intentionally raising your vibration.

Pick ones that appeal to you.  Support & strengthen yourself first.  Then get out there and do whatever your spirit is being called to do!

I am offering two free coaching sessions to anyone wanting coaching right now! Coaching is what I am good at, and it’s what I can do to help after I recharge my own batteries! Please email me if you would like some help being at your best during challenging times!

Stop Shoulding on Yourself!

Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective?

Honestly?  Most people find that feeling we “should” do something drains our energy, so it’s demotivating rather than motivating. 
Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind.

Should is “could” with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration.  No wonder “should” is so heavy!

Could means we are at choice.  We could do something if we chose to do it.  It’s a choice, an option, completely voluntary.  Should suggests that we are somehow less-than if we choose not to do whatever we are shoulding ourselves to do.

When we have choices, we feel more empowered!

Should means we don’t have a choice, and nothing makes us feel more powerless. Simply shifting our thought from, “I should wash the dishes,” to “I want to wash the dishes so the kitchen will be tidy,” can be immensely energizing.

I’m not talking rainbows and lollypops.  I’m talking about creating new thought pathways that cause less stress in our lives.  Less stress means less cortisol and less disease, so it’s worth the effort!  And finding ways to reframe your thoughts can be fun, and creative.

Grow on!

Catching your ‘shoulds’ is the first step.  
Listen for them when you speak and think.
When you catch yourself, stop and ask:

Why do I believe I should?
What is the worst that will happen if I don’t? Can I live with that?
How can I reframe it so that I am choosing to do this?
What’s the most positive aspect about choosing to do this?
How can I make this fun?


having trouble reframing a ‘should’ statement?
drop it in the comments and I’ll help you brainstorm some ideas, so you can take back your power!

Give Yourself a Break!

I have been receiving massage on a regular basis for the last decade and a half.  Once a week I give my body a break from EVERYTHING. 
I put myself face down on some lucky therapist’s table and I just release every bit of tension I can release.  It’s like a rebirth for my energy.  Blood, oxygen, and chi all begin to flow where they may have been stuck.

I learned a long time ago that not only do I release the tension my muscles are holding during massage, but my muscles remember how to release, so they actually accumulate less stress between massages.  

But here in pandemic world, LOTS of perceived stress to go around
and NO massages!  So what can we do to release stress?

Give yourself a fucking break!

Often we are so busy that massage time is the ONLY time we allow ourselves to relax.  Maybe you look forward to some down time during your regular pedicure.  I remember being so busy when my kids were little, that I looked forward to doctors appointments because I usually got a solid 10 or 15 minutes in the wait room where I could just sit!

If you can’t schedule a massage, a pedi, or spend 15 minutes just waiting in a doctor’s office, when are you scheduling rest breaks? Most of us just aren’t!

It’s like we think we have to “do” something on order to relax.  What if we just relaxed?  What if when we’re tired, we just lay down and take a nap? 

Does going with the flow seem too radical?

Write a rest break right into your schedule. 

It’s as important if not MORE important than anything else on your schedule.

I KNOW!  You’re working from home, learning new tech, teaching your kids, walking the dog, and trying not to lose your mind.  But if we were NOT sheltering at home and socially distancing, you would schedule that massage or that pedi, or that yoga class, right? 

Set that hour aside for rest!  

Pencil it right in where the massage or the pedi would go.  Let anyone you live with know that you have an appointment to keep and then use that time to be quiet.  Close your eyes and just rest.  In bed is fine, or on a yoga mat.  Put a bolster or pillow under your knees, and a slightly rolled towel under head and neck to support your relaxation.

Savasana is the “corpse pose” done at the end of a yoga class. 

Make yourself as comfy as possible and just let it all go!  Let go of the “have too” and the “must-dos” and all the rest of it, and just relax for 30 minutes.

If it’s possible to fall asleep, and you need to be up and doing something in the next segment of your day, set an alarm on your phone.  Choose one that’s gentle, like birds chirping so it doesn’t jar you from the resting place, but rather invites you to open your eyes.

Humans rarely allow themselves time to become fully rested and most of us are often deprived of the right amount of sleep.  But rest is essential to body, mind and spirit!  

If you are hearing stories in your head that tell you that you don’t have time to rest, or you don’t deserve adequate relaxation, or self-care, coaching might be able to help!

In the most basic of terms, what I do as an energy coach is help clients remember how to release worry, anxiety, self-doubt, low energy and overwhelm. 

If you or anyone you know is interested in uncovering what’s holding you back, and moving beyond where you’ve been able to grow before, please contact me at cyndicombs@gmail.com to set up a free phone session to see if coaching is right for you.

Grow on!

Just relax!

It’s not Trump’s role to fix this fucking mess.

Bear with me!  I realize how askew that sounds, so let me be clear.

I believe whole heartedly that everything has a purpose.  Not just the stuff I like.  Not just the positive experiences. Everything.

Since this is True, even Trump has a purpose, but if anyone is thinking his purpose is to course-correct the country, I would have to challenge that assumption.  The current resident of the White House has proven he has neither the capability, nor the interest in doing so.

In my opinion, his role is to shine awareness on how broken our systems are, and I have to hand it to him for doing a bang up job in that department! The political system, the education system, the health care system, the financial system are all collapsing under the weight of this pandemic. (So much winning.)

So who plays the role that fixes this fucking mess?  

Anyone who genuinely cares.  (See why it can’t be trump?)

It’s our role to accept what is, and use the assets available to us to overcome limitations and consciously choose a better path forward, together.

It’s up to you and me to do what we can, where we can to improve
what we can and help each other through this crisis. 

It’s up to us to create new systems that support well being and quality of life for everyone.

It’s up to us to dream up systems where those who wield power do so for the highest good of all involved.

It’s up to us to imagine ways to make the world a better place to live for our children than it has ever been before.

DON’T ask yourself to solve what seem like the most enormous issues (unless you are one of the researchers who already has momentum in that arena).  If we ask “Why is this happening to us?” or “Who can we blame?” we get very different answers than if we ask, “What can we learn from this?”  or “How can we use this knowledge to grow forward?”

If we ask questions like these we feel powerless: How long will this last? Where will the answer come from? Who will die? Why doesn’t EVERYONE take this seriously? Why didn’t they tell us sooner? Why weren’t we prepared?

Ask yourself questions you already have answers for!

What emotions am I experiencing? 
What can I do today for my health? 
What helps me feel more connected while socially distancing myself? 
What can I do to boost my immune system today? 
What steps are within my control?
What steps can I take to protect myself and my family? 
Name one time today that you felt ok.  How can you do more of that? 
What brings you joy? 
What can you do to soothe yourself? 
What can you do to help your neighbors or family?

So, while the current resident in the White House has most likely played a role in increasing the death rate of this pandemic – a role in adding to the confusion & overwhelm, a role in the exponential spread of the virus despite his incapacity to understand the term “exponential growth,” a major role in making the problem way worse than it had to be – it is not going to be his role to fix the thing.

That’s going to fall to those of us who care.

If you need space to process your emotions and talk through what’s going on for you, contact me for a chat!

Discomfort Foods

I love food!  A little too much maybe?

Humans love delicious food to celebrate the good times,
and we use food to soothe ourselves during challenging times.

Facebook meme – March 2020

Self-soothing with food is something to which most of us relate, though I’ve heard people say they don’t like the term ‘self-soothing’
or that self-soothing is for wussies.  But if you are stress-eating,
or using food to deal with anxiety, push away discomfort, or buffer uncomfortable emotions, you are self-soothing with food.  What’s your favorite comfort food?  Pizza?  Mac & cheese?  Chicken soup?  Sugary sweets?  Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the food is, it’s the act of eating that soothes us simply by causing a momentary distraction.

One drawback to using food to soothe is that it tends to result in overeating and excess weight.  Comfort foods rarely include vegetables, and almost always include either high fat or processed sugar.  While neither of those is detrimental in small doses, if we are overeating them on a regular basis, they can cause physical discomfort, increased health risks, chemical imbalances, confusion, emotional fluctuations, and spiritual stress (due to being out of alignment with personal wellbeing goals). 

Used repeatedly as an anesthetic, soothing with food sets up the craving/reward cycle.

Cravings and Rewards

A bigger problem with using food to sooth discomfort is that we train ourselves into a cycle of craving and reward.  When we experience an emotion that is uncomfortable, then reach for food to dull our discomfort, we are rewarded with a little hit of dopamine. 

Dopamine is a chemical signal from our brain that we have done something that sustains life.  Our body regularly produces dopamine when we are warm, when we eat, when we have sex – because these things are necessary for survival.  The dopamine REWARDS us by making us feel good for a minute. 

We experience discomfort.  We soothe with food.  We receive a chemical reward of dopamine.  We experience discomfort, soothe with food, receive a reward.  Experience discomfort, soothe, receive reward.  Discomfort, soothe, reward.  Discomfort, soothe, reward.  

Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

Our lizard brain now believes that the foods with which we soothe are necessary for survival.  When you try NOT to soothe with food, your mind will try to convince you that you will DIE if you do not indulge.  

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt you HAD to have something?  Where you felt you couldn’t NOT eat (smoke, drink, do) something, like you will DIE if you don’t?  That’s what that was about!  Your lizard brain actually thinks it will die without that dopamine reward.   Processed sugar produces a highly concentrated hit of dopamine, much higher than the amount we are normally rewarded for engaging in life-sustaining behaviors, so if you are self-soothing with sugary treats, the craving/reward cycle becomes much more powerful.

Despite what our lizard brain thinks, we will not DIE if we don’t get that sugary treat.  Imagine a six-year old throwing a tantrum because you won’t give her a candy bar.  She can scream and cry and throw the biggest fit full of snot and tears, but you know she’ll be fine.  She won’t die because you don’t give her the candy, right?  

Compromised Immune System

Another issue with using food as comfort is that it causes an overload of toxins that our body systems must deal with. While the body is focused on removing toxins from less-than-healthy food choices, it has less energy to keep the immune system strong to protect us from illness. And isn’t THAT what we’re all craving right now? Safety. Protection from harm. Food can’t give us that, but a strong immune system can. Protecting our immune system might be the number one reason at this time to avoid using food to soothe our challenging emotions.

Food is fuel.  It’s meant to efficiently power our physical body.  When we eat to soothe or comfort ourselves, we actually cause discomfort.  We experience physical discomfort or mental/emotional discomfort, even spiritual discomfort from misuse and overuse of food.

Food is NOT a healthful coping mechanism.  

Things are feeling really stressful for a LOT of people right now. 
No one will blame you if you overeat or if you eat foods you normally don’t eat, and you certainly won’t be the only one.  But if you want to comfort yourself in a healthy way, or soothe any anxiety you may be feeling, there are many ways to do that without using food.

Some effective ways to soothe without food include:

  • Physically place your hand on your heart and pet it. This is an amazingly effective technique for comfort!
  • Wrap your arms across your chest and around your own shoulders and give your self a long hug.  
  • Write yourself a letter and say every comforting thing you wish someone else were saying to you right now, or that you would say right now to a child whom you love with all your heart.
  • Get outdoors every day.  
  • If you can’t get outdoors, google gorgeous landscape photography and imagine yourself in the photograph! Your imagination is a powerful tool.
  • Take a walk, even if it’s indoors.
  • Go for a run.  
  • Put on your favorite song and dance around your living room.  
  • Call a good friend for a long chat.  
  • Journal about your emotions or about the circumstances you experience and what you are thinking about them.  
  • Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend.  Have a full conversation about how you understand how hard this is, that you’re sorry you’re going through this, and remind yourself that you will get through this, that everything will work out again, whatever you would tell a close friend in this circumstance, tell it to YOU out loud so you hear it in your own voice.

Please list your favorite HEALTHY ways to cope or soothe
in the comments! I love hearing from my readers!

Coronavirus COUNTERPOINT

A steady diet of fear will make us fearful.

I am a fairly fearless person, and I have been feeling an undercurrent of fear in my community strong enough to pull me under – and I do NOT watch TV news shows.  Feeling that fear is completely understandable, especially for those of us sensitive to energy.  Over the last few days I have had several times where I simply felt like something is off

Like a great disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Yesterday I had a panic attack.  The panic wasn’t my own, it was seeping in from the general atmosphere of fear surrounding the globe.  It didn’t last long, but it sapped my energy JUST enough to make me wonder if I might be coming down with something.  There are multitudes of people panicking right now, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. 

If we watch the whole thing unfold on news programs, more of us will die from stress than from virus!

It makes sense to keep informed from reliable sources of news, but if we are living on a steady diet of ‘what’s happening in the world’ without digesting some kind of counterpoint as well, it depletes not only our energy, but our immunity.  

Don’t do that to yourself!

First of all, reduce your exposure to the news.  Don’t let it saturate your waking hours with fear and anxiety!

Counterpoint can be anything that lifts your spirits.  

Watch a feel-good movie or TV show.
Get out in nature!
Move your body.
Try a new meditation app
Research something that interests you.
Have a long conversation on the phone with someone you love.
Read uplifting books and blogs.
Listen to something uplifting on YouTube.
– One of my FAVORITES: Everything is Always Working Out for Me
Here are links that frame the virus in a different perspective
What if the Virus is Medicine? From Heartward Sanctuary
What if… by Gurpreet Gill

Choose whatever counterpoint you like, as long as you LIKE it.

If we eat a steady diet of fear, we become fear filled.  If we balance that with counterpoint, we can become whatever we choose to look at. 
We can be inspired.  We can be informed.  We can be calm, prepared, steady, helpful, uplifting, fulfilled, joyous.

The choice is ours.

Grow on!

Purification Meditation ~

This exercise will communicate to your energy system (body) that you are willing to align with vibrant health, and willing to release any resistance to wellbeing you may have been holding.

  • Visualize yourself in a stream of light.  Let it pour through you as if you are translucent.
  • Allow the light to cleanse and rejuvenate every cell in your body as it pours through you, warms you, strengthens you, and purifies you physically.
  • Then reverse the stream and allow the light to emanate from within you.  Imagine it purifying all your cells as it streams out from you.

Please feel free to share YOUR favorite counterpoint activities in the comments!

Namaste.


Boost Your Immunity by Getting Engaged!

Everyone is currently talking about the importance of a healthy immune system, and I could not agree MORE!

We’ve heard reminders about the importance of proper hydration, plenty of rest, washing our hands, eating healthy foods, – avoid crap food because if your body is already struggling with garbage and toxins, it has less strength to fight off viruses – drinking less alcohol, reducing smoking, washing our hands, staying active, taking probiotics, getting some sunshine every day, and then washing our hands again.

All of these things are GREAT to boost immunity, plus they help us feel healthier & more energized! One thing I have not heard mentioned in this torrent of common sense is to get engaged! 

Human beings are energy systems. 

We literally exist to flow energy.  When our energy is not flowing it is stagnant, and our energy system feels depressed.  Stuck energy causes physical dis-ease, and once we stop flowing energy, our Spirit disengages from our physical body and we have our ‘death’ experience.  – According to Abraham, we never die.  We are eternal beings and when we ‘die’ we still exist as non-physical energy that is 100% engaged in all the same subjects of interest we had while in physical form.

The only way to flow energy is to engage energy.

So get engaged!  Find something that you are passionate about and focus on that.  That’s what flows energy and sustains our Spirit.  Boredom will kill us!  Boredom stagnates our energy and energy needs to flow.

So besides following all of the wonderful common sense advice to eat right, get plenty of rest, and wash your hands repeatedly, get excited about your life!  If we’re not feeling passionate about SOMETHING, we are an easy target  for that energy transference known as ‘death’ that so many people fear.  

If we are sleepwalking through life, going to work, surviving the mental clutter in our mind, emotionally drained, tolerating relationships, physically inactive, and spiritually unanchored, then we are NOT energetically engaged!  Washing our hands a million times can’t boost our immune system enough to counteract this level of energy stagnation.

When we stop flowing energy in this physical body, when we stop being engaged in our current life, we are as likely to die in our sleep or in a freak accident as to be taken out by a viral pandemic.

More than one client this week has expressed a fear of dying, and anyone watching TV, or surfing the internet these days might resonate with that fear.

Fear of death might mean that we do not understand our eternal, infinite nature.  But my intuition tells me that most people are afraid to die because there is something the heart longs to do that is yet undone.  THAT is where passion lies!  Focus on THAT because it will flow energy and feed your resilience, and expand your soul.

Many clients have told me they don’t know what THAT is for them, so they get discouraged.  I say let that encourage you!  If your fear of death is telling you there is MORE yet to be done, that your purpose is not yet fulfilled, then allow that knowing to fill you with HOPE!  Not hope simply that death will not yet come for you, but hope that you have purpose and your purpose will again engage and flow energy through this life.  And flowing energy is the purpose.  Of all life.

So go get engaged!  Find your passion and flow with it.

Flow on!

What do you enjoy? 
Find ways to incorporate it into your life as soon & as often as possible.

If you do not know what you enjoy, it’s very possible that until now, others have defined your life for you.  If this is true for you, I encourage you not to be too hard on yourself, because it is true for MANY people.  It’s quite common to let our parents, our spouse, our children, or our career define “who” we are.  But when their version of who we ‘should be’ no longer inspires us, or when the outside influence goes away, we may not know what we truly want or where to flow our energy.

Try doing something differently than you normally do it. Do you enjoy that? Do it again! Not so much? Forget about that experiment and try something different.

Enjoy it? Keep it. Do it again.
Not so much? Move on to experiment with a new experience.

The important thing is to get that energy flowing.
You’ll figure it out as you go. You’ve GOT this.

Here are a few options to engage energy and get it flowing: 

Physical activity to move or unstick physical energy.
Journal to unstick mental/emotional energy & gain clarity.
See a therapist to unstick old emotional energy.
Hire a coach to help identify and remove energy blocks.
Plan activities with friends or family to engage social energy.
Reduce exposure to toxic people to move stuck energy.
Be of service to others to engage social and spiritual energies.
Take self-maintenance seriously to engage spiritual energy.
Meditate or connect with nature to move spiritual energy. 
Read spiritually uplifting books or blogs.
Clean home and office to move energy in your environment.

What’s YOUR favorite way to engage energy or get unstuck?
Please share in the comments!

Train Your Brain!

Teach your brain to think thoughts that serve you!  Our brains are the greatest tool humans have, yet most of us don’t take the time to use it to our advantage!

It’s super easy to focus on ‘what is’ in a negative way because the media is constantly bombarding us with stories that shock or provoke for the sake of ratings.  Once these things have our attention, it’s easy to attract MORE stories like that to focus on because energy attracts like energy.

I may have mentioned this before, but if we want to attract,
good-feeling, positive, prosperous energy that allows us to feel energized, we must actively choose to integrate that type of energy.

Think of yourself as a radio.  You can’t tune the radio to a rap station, and expect to hear classical music.  If you want classical music, you tune to the classical station.  If we want to attract good-feeling, positive, prosperous energy, we need to “tune in” to what feels good, positive, and prosperous!

Station BJOY flows abundant wellbeing all day every day!  

“This is DJ Cyndi Combs at radio station BJOY, bringing you your morning vibration-raising tuneup full of faith, sunny optimism
and ease.  Programming to make you soul sing with connection,
so you can be joy!”

We can also choose to focus on is what’s wrong, what MIGHT go wrong, and who or what is to blame, and guess what we attract into our lives?  More of what is going wrong, and people and circumstances to blame for that.

And many people don’t know that we are tuning our life’s ‘station’ (vibration) to what we look at, so they will receive whatever chaos
and negative energy is being broadcast in the world around them.

There are many ways to train our brain to ’tune in’ to things that raise our vibration, and what works for one person may not work for the next, so it becomes a matter of creating your own recipe for personal success and motivation! It’s not one formula for everyone or one-size-fits-all. Each of us must play with possibilities, explore options, and come to our own individualized secret sauce. Below, I have compiled a very short list of success formula ingredients that have served many people on their wellbeing journey.

As you read it, consider which ones appeal to you.

A short list of ingredients you could choose to add to your Personal Success Formula:

Meditation
Journaling
Being Active
Being in nature
Reading uplifting books, blogs, and podcasts
Making room for Creativity
Making room for fun & play
Practicing Affirmations
Daily Gratitude
Proper Hydration
Adequate Rest
Avoiding Sugar
Personal Nutrition Plan
Practice Happiness Daily – link has a longer list of specific resources
Life Tools – link to more specific resources
Hiring a Coach! – Three resources in case you are considering hiring a coach
Cyndi
Ana Verzone
a long list of certified professional coaches

Please remember the possibilities are infinite!

This is not meant to be a comprehensive list as possibilities for raising your vibration vary in effectiveness over time, and from person to person. All the ones I list have a strong track record for helping a wide variety of people tune in to more fulfillment, wellbeing, and success.

Now, I do NOT mean that people who tune to positive, prosperous energy walk around in a perpetual state of bliss or nirvana, never experiencing challenges.  Life does NOT work like that.

What I do mean is that when challenges arise, we don’t feel like we’ve been kicked in the dirt and left without choice.  We find our balance faster, and move quickly from focusing on the challenge to creating one or more solutions.

It’s super easy to focus on what’s in front of us.  But if we solely focus on what we see, that is all we can attract and create.  If we want to attract and create more than what we currently have in our world, it takes daily practice and constant reminders over weeks and months.  It will also require more effort than remaining in our current pattern, because the current patterns are ingrained over years or decades.

You’re worth the effort!

Grow on!

Create your own Success Formula by keeping a list of the things that elevate your game!

What are you currently doing that feeds your soul? 
How often are you doing that? 
How often would you like to do it? 
What is something that you LOVE to do, but don’t do anymore because you don’t have the time or money? 
How can you start integrating that into your life again? 
Which of the items from the short list above sound like fun? 
Which would you like to learn more about? 
Would you like to learn more about living the greatest version of yourself? 

If you are considering hiring a life coach to get more out of life, please contact me!  We’ll schedule a short chat to see if I am the right coach for you, or if I can refer you to a coach with a specialty that may be better suited for your growth.

The Importance of Feeling our Feelings

Why are emotions called feelings?

Because we feel emotions, physically, in our bodies.  Human beings experience emotions as a specific set of physical sensations. 
For example when I feel grief, my body feels deeply weighted and lethargic.  When I feel joy, my heart feels light, as if filled with helium, and I have a humming vibration along my skin.  Self-doubt feels like my body is contracting inward away from the world, and confidence feels expansive, light, and powerful.

Our emotions are simply vibrations that we feel in our body, and are part of our human experience.  In and of themselves, these vibrations cannot harm us!  

Emotions are vibrations that we experience as completely harmless physical sensations.  

So if the vibrations can’t harm us, why do so many people go to such extraordinary lengths to avoid what we perceive as negative emotions?

That’s what’s happening if my lover leaves me and I eat a gallon of ice cream.  I’m trying to avoid feeling the pain of my emotions.  Same thing with drugs and alcohol.  People are drawn to using these substances to numb our ‘hard’ emotions, the sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment, fear, or worry that crop up in our lives.

And who would blame us?  There are situations and circumstances in this lifetime where every one of us can relate to why THAT emotion might hurt too much to feel, and why someone might choose to numb the pain.  It’s sort of like if you break your leg, that HURTS.  No one is going to bat an eye if you take some pain killers for that.  So if someone is going through emotional pain, it’s understandable that we might want some pain killers for that, too.

The broken leg eventually heals, our pain subsides, and our use of pain killers ceases. Emotional pain eventually heals, too but not until we allow ourselves to transform the pain, and transforming the pain requires allowing ourselves to FEEL the emotion.

This is where it can get a bit tricky, because we feel the pain and want to numb it to avoid it, so we do (normal). 

But if we do not stop numbing the emotional pain and allow ourselves to feel it, to move through it, we can get stuck in the cycle of continuously numbing that pain to not feel it, then feeling it and numbing it, feel the pain then numb the pain.  Unlike the broken leg,
it’s not going to heal until you allow yourself to feel your feelings.  If we attempt to push our emotions away, they keep coming back.  We cannot resist our emotions. 

If we wish to get past our challenging emotions, we must allow the experience by being present with the emotion.

I remember the first time my coach suggested this to me I thought she was mad. I had been avoiding hard emotions for decades with booze and sugar, and she wanted me to sit with those feelings?! 

The idea positively made my skin crawl!

Then she taught me the most amazing technique. I learned to objectively describe the emotion as the physical sensations I experienced in my body – without attaching my story to it,
and without wallowing in the emotion.

When we experience the physical vibration of the emotion without attaching a story to it, we can simply observe the experience of emotion, rather than becoming the emotion.

“I am experiencing anger,” has a much different energy than,
“I am angry.”  Feel the difference?

Physical description: the anger feels physically like a kick in my gut.  My face is hot and red and my heart is beating faster than normal. 
I can feel my pulse through my whole body.

Description with our story attached might look like this:  I am so PISSED that person did XYZ to me!  What is wrong with them? 
Were they raised by wolves?  Who acts that way?  This will never work!  I won’t stand for it!  I have every right to be furious about this!

Which description drains more energy?

When we attach a story to the emotion, we attach ourselves to it.

Our emotions do not define us.  They are not who we are.  They are simply indicators of where we are at any given moment.

Reach for a better feeling thought.

As a core energy coach, I help clients shift perspective to find a vibration that allows greater success in their lives.  Sometimes people get the wrong idea and think that we are supposed to push away bad feeling emotions and strive to feel only positive ones, and that is NOT the case at all.

We absolutely want to trade up the emotional ladder, to feel better and better and better about ourselves and our lives, but we can’t do that by only experiencing our positive emotions and repressing those we don’t enjoy as much. 

Abraham-Hicks emotional scale

If we take a few moments to actually be present with our hard emotions (describe them physically), then we are able to move through the emotion and beyond it to a better feeling vibration and not just pushing it away hoping it won’t pop up again.

The human experience is a kaleidoscope of emotions, each color adding depth and meaning to the overall picture.  The more colors we integrate, the more rich and beautiful our lives become.

We gotta feel ALL our feels.

Grow on!

What physical sensations do you experience when you feel angry?
Sad?
Anxious?
Shame?
Guilt?
Peace?
Confidence?
Hopeful?
Inspired?
Joyous?

Which emotions do you try not to feel?
Which emotion is your least fave?
Describe that emotion physically and allow yourself to observe it.

Dare to Love!

Always choose love.  Always. 
Okay?  End of post.

What more is there to say?  Always choose love.

I hear clients ask, “What if they don’t DESERVE my love?!”

Choosing to feel love benefits YOU. 
Choosing negative emotions harms YOU.

It has nothing to do with what they deserve.  What do you deserve?  Which emotions do you want to feel?  Because YOU are the only one feeling your emotions.

Hate, anger, disappointment, irritation, fear.  These emotions create catabolic energy (and lead to the dark side!). Catabolic energy breaks down or destroys.  Catabolic emotions weaken us physically, mentally and spiritually.  These emotions drain our energy, leave us depleted, and have zero affect on the person we create the emotions about!

Unless we are creating these emotions about ourselves. 

Then they have exponential destructive power in our lives.  Creating catabolic emotions about ourselves and directing that catabolic energy at ourselves through a magnifying glass is the most energy draining, soul-destroying thing we can do!

So why not simply choose to LOVE, like and encourage yourself?  Why not give yourself a break?  Count yourself as learning and experimenting instead of failing.  Simply allow yourself to be YOU in all your flawsomeness without beating yourself up for being human.  Love creates anabolic energy.  Anabolic energy creates and heals. 

How can you know that catabolic destroys and anabolic creates?

Try this energy experiment:  

Sit quietly a minute and empty your thoughts for an instant.  Then, think that thought that you always think about yourself when you are beating yourself up – yep, the really mean one.  Notice how that feels physically.  Where and how do you feel it in your body?

Sit quietly a minute and empty your thoughts for an instant.  Just breathe in and out deeply three times, returning to neutral.  Then, think about the person you adore most in this world.  Your child or grandchild, your dog or your lover.  Whoever you MOST love with ease and great abundance.  How does THAT energy feel in your body?  Where does it vibrate?

That should demonstrate pretty clearly that catabolic energy drains and depletes us, and anabolic energy heals, uplifts, and connects us to others.

So why not choose love? 

It feels yummy!  It’s good for the body, mind and spirit.  It’s GREAT for healing relationships.  It adds joy wherever it bubbles out. So why not choose love?

Still back at “What if they don’t deserve my love?” 

I hear this OFTEN from clients!  That is a totally normal reaction.
(Side note: If someone is hurting you, they do not deserve your love. But YOU deserve your love, so if someone is harming you, you’ll need enough self-love to walk away.)

How possible is it to impose your emotions on another?

Our emotions have zero affect on the person we are creating these emotions about!  Our emotions can only effect us!  Don’t believe me?  Ever known anyone who was madly in love and pouring all of their energy, love, affection, and attention on someone who barely notices them?  Right?  That’s the theme of pretty much every romantic comedy ever made. You can’t make someone else feel what you feel. We each create and experience our own emotions.

So why choose to be angry at someone when YOU are the only one being harmed by the catabolic emotion you create?  If YOU are the only one receiving benefit or detriment due to the emotions you create, why not choose anabolic, good-feeling emotions that build you up and create more opportunities in your life?

Dare to love YOU.