Feed. Your. Soul.

The last six months have been challenging for all of us.  

COVID 19 Quarantine
Trapped indoors by smoky skies and raging fires
Travel restrictions
Canceled vacations
Weddings postponed or socially distanced
Reduced financial resources
People we know sick, or dying
Increasing tech stress
‘Homeschooling’ our kids
The utter LACK of hugs in this world!

Not to mention any personal challenges your may be facing like sick pets, vehicle breakdowns, relationships ending, or health issues – other than pandemic viruses – that force you to expose yourself to situations that could allow you to come in contact with the virus.

Normally, I am a beacon of buoyant energy.  One of my superpowers is seeing the opportunities in the challenges, knowing there IS purpose to the apparent madness, and keeping my balance despite what’s going on in the world or my life.  

However recently I have been feeling the heaviness of it all.  “Golden Fucking Opportunities” (GFOs) for growth have been raining down around me.  I have a travel addiction.  Travel opportunities feed my soul.  So far this year we have canceled nights in Monterey, Yosemite, and Burney Falls, and weeks in Colorado and Arches National Park.  It helped me to know that I am NOT the only one who had to cancel travel plans.  I am not alone in this.  We are all canceling plans, and adjusting to our own set of GFOs.  But then I found out that we have to postpone our trip to Hawaii (booked since February) and don’t have any way to know when we will get to go.  It hit me like a ton of bricks.  

Suddenly it was ALL just too fucking much.  Hawaii had been my carrot through all the other challenges, so when they took that from me too, I hit the wall.

Royal Kona Sunset

In the past

In the past when I hit a wall emotionally, my world would go black and I would crawl under my blankets for days or weeks.  I would beat myself up telling myself I didn’t deserve fun, travel, happiness, or even love.  I would open the dark umbrella thought of “who cares?!” which lead me repeatedly to eat damaging foods, stop working out, and to thinking even more emotionally draining thoughts!  In the past I would lie there wondering WHY I felt so shitty, and why the world hated me and was being so mean to me.

And who could blame me?  Given that set of circumstances, anyone could want to react that way.

waterfalls at Plitvicka Jezera National Park

But now I know better.

Therapy and coaching have helped me discover how energy draining that old behavior is, how depleting, stress-inducing and disease causing.  

So last week when I hit the wall, I asked myself, “Cyndi, what do you need to feel better right NOW?”

1- Knowing what I need has made a huge difference in my life.
2- Allowing myself to do what I need is THEE difference in my life.

Ever since I learned that what I was doing was NOT working for me,
I have been on a quest to become aware of what DOES work for me.

Some of the things I have learned are:
Having something to look forward to is CRUCIAL to my state of mind.  
Talking to my coach ALWAYS lifts my energy exponentially.  
Getting a massage ALWAYS releases stress.

Rather than spiral into darkness like I would have in the past:
1 – I texted my fabulous coach, Jill Lebeau, and moved up my session.
2 – I scheduled a massage for my day off.
3 – I decided that I would schedule some travel or go stark raving mad.

Korcula Island, Croatia ~ Google image

Despite travel restrictions and the great inability to determine what the fuck the pandemic or politics will bring next, I have been planning my next trip to Croatia for almost a year now.  I couldn’t know when it might happen, I was just having fun dreaming of all the places we will visit when it DOES happen.  I’ve been watching ticket prices for months and they have been pretty steadily priced around $1,300.  That’s less than the last time we flew to Europe, but I was convinced I could get a better price than that!

Monday morning I decided that I didn’t care WHAT bargain rate I might get later.  I knew without doubt that if I had airline tickets for my dream vacation in hand, I would feel buoyant again, and all my challenges would morph back into opportunities.  I decided that I would just PAY the $1,300 fare.  We have been saving for this trip, so we already had enough saved for the two tickets. 

It would be worth paying full price just to feel better!  

The instant I had that thought, my spirit lightened immensely!

Dubrovnik ~ 2017

I pulled up searches of all my favorite airlines, checked different cities to fly into, tried different hubs to fly through, looking for the best deal available and the most AMAZING thing happened.  I found a fare on a reputable airline, with reasonable travel times for less than $800 round trip for each of us. YES! I checked all the details a second time, then booked the tickets.

Then I had a dance party in my living room. 

I was SO right!  My energy popped back up like a cork I had been holding under water.  Suddenly my energy was vibrant and flowing.
At my coaching session, instead of my coach helping me out of a dark place where I had gotten stuck (as would have happened in the past),
I was telling her about the miraculous return of my energy, and increased capacity to support others through the MANY golden fucking opportunities that are happening all around us!  I knew without a doubt what my soul needed to shine, and I didn’t hesitate to give it to myself.  Some might think it selfish, but that bit of self-care was crucial to my emotional wellbeing, and paid off tenfold!

Go me!

Dubrovnik, Croatia

My coach wisely pointed out that deciding to spend the full price because I deserved to feel better embodied an abundance mindset, and that vibration of abundance allowed me to attract the super low fare on a high-quality airline.  

Fuck. Yes.

And now, I feel INCREDIBLE, nearly invincible!  I am manifesting what I truly desire by trusting my KNOWING about what I need, and allowing that to outweigh the financial consideration.  I feel far more able to focus on my life and my clients.

Did all my challenges/opportunities just go away?  Hell no! 

But the things that frustrated the crap outta me a couple days ago seem like nothing more than minor irritants now.  They seem far more like opportunities than challenges.

And burdens that had felt unbearable – the unexpected death of a beloved pet, a best friend facing months of chemotherapy – became at least manageable, and I am able to remember that, in time, even these burdens will reveal gifts for us.

Am I saying that if you are struggling with GFOs you should plan a trip to Croatia?  Maybe.  If that’s what turns YOU on.  Heavens no, if you don’t enjoy travel.

What I am saying is that when the world seems to be crumbling around us it’s extremely beneficial to know what it is YOU need. 

Then allow yourself that.  ALL of that.

a room i dream of renting in Dubrovnik…

Grow on!

What works for you?
What person, place, thing lifts your spirits no matter what?
How can you allow yourself more of that?
What’s holding you back from allowing more of that in your life?
What will change for you when you allow yourself more of what feeds your soul?

Cyndi in Dubrovnik ~ 2017

What Do You Truly Desire?

The first time I read a book by Esther Hicks was in February of 2010. The book was Ask and it is Given, and it resonated with me completely.  I immediately began trying to increase my vibration, create an even more positive attitude, and manifest my riches.   And when I say riches, I specifically mean a water view home.

My deepest desire is to have a home that looks out over the water.   Water calms me, energizes me, and uplifts my spirit.  In those first fledgling years learning about the law of attraction, I poured immense energy into telling the universe that I want a water view home.  Even when my lottery numbers didn’t hit, I kept feeling excited about the next draw, always certain that my big win was just around the corner. One time in particular, I must have really had my hopes up because when my numbers didn’t hit, my positivity balloon burst.

I fell into a depression, and railed at the universe for not giving me my truest desire.  I couldn’t understand why my water view home eluded me!  It was around that time that I heard Esther say something to the effect of “ it’s not the manifestation you want, it’s the way the manifestation makes you feel.”   So I sat down to journal about how I was going to feel when I did manifest my water view home.

Happy, calm, uplifted, joyful, connected to Spirit.  

This was the manifestation I wanted.   These emotions were what I truly desired, and I thought that I could get them through living in a home with a water view. So I started looking for ways to manifest the emotions of happy, calm, uplifted, joyful, and connected to Spirit.

I live close enough to the Napa River to walk there in 15 minutes.  I live close enough to a small park that overlooks the Carquinez Bridge  to walk there in 10 minutes.  One of the things I started doing each day  was walking to one of these places, sometimes both. I began referring to the little park as “my patio” so I could say that this was the view from “my patio.”

My walks allow me to feel happy, calm, uplifted, joyful, connected to Spirit, vibrant, healthy, and active. Plus I get to see the water every day!  Bonus!

Something else I started doing was to manifest one or more waterview homes every time we go on vacation.  When we travel anywhere, I pay a little extra, and then for a week or more, I get to savor my coffee each morning looking out on the water I love.  I get to infuse myself with the essence of sunlight sparkling on water.  I relish the rich colors of sunrise and the deep beauty of sunsets.  I charge my batteries with the current produced by thrashing waves, or roaring waterfalls.  And I carry that energy with me each and every day and let it buoy my positivity.  

I still buy lottery tickets and I fully expect to win a fortune each time because it’s fun to think about all the fun I’ll have.  But in the mean time, I’m already manifesting what I truly desire!

Grow on!

What is it that you want more than anything?

What emotion will you feel when you have manifested it?

How can you create that emotion now?

Make a short list of people, places, or things that bring you that emotion already.

How can you bring more of those into your life daily?

Free To Feel Fully Human

Some emotions get a bad rap. You know the ones I mean.  Those that get branded negative, the ones that don’t feel good when we feel them in our bodies.  Emotions like anger, resentment, fear, or disgust, are ones that people don’t enjoy, and often try to avoid.  

I’m a mindset coach, and one of the things I help people do is explore different perspectives.  If we have deeply held beliefs that are not serving us, then it can be quite beneficial to shift the way that we’re thinking.  A common misperception that happens is that clients want to change how they feel, without first acknowledging the emotions they already feel.

It makes sense.  Of course we don’t want to feel hard emotions.  Who does?   But suppressing those emotions takes a lot of energy, and robs us of part of the rich tapestry of the human experience.  Imagine if an artist created her paintings with only the middle tones of colors, leaving the most vibrant colors on either end of the spectrum out of the picture. We wouldn’t get the full experience, would we?

Start Where You Are

We cannot change how we feel until we process the emotions we are already experiencing.  And it’s important to remember that ALL of our emotions are okay. They are what they are. People don’t control their emotions. Our emotions arise to show us what we’re thinking.  Our emotions arrive with the message to pay attention – become aware – of the thoughts we are choosing. (Spoiler alert: our thoughts CREATE our emotions!)

So if you feel angry, disappointed, or hurt.  Allow yourself to FEEL angry, disappointed or hurt.  Sit with the feeling.  Acknowledge it.  Instead of resisting challenging emotions, allow them to be what they are – sensations in our body.  Practice describing the physical sensations you feel when you feel the emotion. Then try “being with” the emotion by focusing on the physical sensations.

Example: fear to speak in public might feel to some people like sweaty palms, increased heart rate, tight shoulders. If that’s the case, focus on the palms, the heart, the shoulders, without attaching the story of public speaking. Observe the physical sensations objectively, and they begin to subside.

For a more active method of processing emotions, find a safe space, set a timer and give yourself 15 or 20 minutes to just be obsessed, or throw a fit or have a tantrum. Scream into your pillow, or beat it up. Vomit the voices in your head onto pages you can burn later.  Your inner child is asking to be heard and is not going to let you feel content again until you give yourself some space to process those emotions.  Cry if you need to. Let yourself rage until the timer goes off.

You’ll be surprised and delighted how quickly the intensity of the emotion  can dissipate.

If your emotions feel too big to handle on your own, like they might swallow you if you let yourself be alone with them, then find a wonderful therapist to create that safe space with you.

Avoiding or suppressing our emotions cannot destroy that catabolic energy.
It simply transfers that energy somewhere else.  It’s like holding a beach ball underwater, eventually it’s going to pop back up with a lot of force.  Many times when we try to suppress anger,
or resentment that energy gets even heavier and shows up as shame, depression,
or self-doubt.

If we try to suppress fear, and brush it off as nothing, we could learn that we’re in actual danger and our intuition was giving us a very important message.  I like to ask my anger or my disappointment what it’s trying to tell me.  If you are feeling angry about something, there is a reason for that anger, and only you know what that reason is.  What is your anger trying to tell you?  (Hint: it’s NOT that someone else needs to shape up.)

Processing our emotions is important.

This is not the same as directing our emotions at somebody else.   We can’t spill anger, frustration and irritation on others and expect them to process it for us. They are not responsible for our emotions any more than we are responsible for theirs!  If this has been your experience of hard emotions – people directing them at you, or others around you – it makes perfect sense that you would want to suppress them, or that you would see them as harmful or scary. Anyone would feel that way. Processing our emotions is an introspective thing, meaning it is a mirror to look into in order to learn more about our own mind, and improve our own experience of life.  

Trying to shift mindset without processing emotions first is like putting a happy-face sticker on a gas gauge so you can’t see that the tank is empty. It looks better on the surface but doesn’t address the underlying cause!

Once we have accepted that we have challenging emotions (as all humans do), then we can process them. Once we have processed our emotions, then we can begin to shift our mindset so that we attract better feeling emotions!

Grow on!

How comfortable are you feeling all of your emotions?

How comfortable are you expressing all of your emotions?

What emotions are you suppressing?

How might that be affecting your life?


This is a process I help my clients with all the time! If you are ready to transform your life, please contact me at this link to schedule a short conversation. I look forward to connecting with you.

The Enemy Within

I have known for a few days now that I need/want to further delay the opening of my massage practice, but I would not give myself permission to announce it as fact.  Why?

I don’t want to disappoint my clients.

Last week I booked July 5 to 19 solid because the COVID numbers were moving in the right direction, and the state of California seemed to have a handle on the reopening process.  Then we started seeing numbers come in from other states as they reopened, and it’s NOT looking promising anywhere that I can see.

NOTHING but health and safety need be considered when deliberating reopening my massage office, but MY tortured brain is still insisting that announcing my decision will “disappoint my clients.”  WTF?

I was beating myself up for so many things in this scenario!  

I shouldn’t have trusted the optimistic appraisal of California’s
re-opening roadmap. I shouldn’t have scheduled my clients so soon (fucking optimism). I should have waited. Why didn’t I wait? And my personal favorite ~ I should have known better! Really? Even though this is NEW and NO ONE in the world knows what to expect, I was holding myself to the standard that I – Cyndi Combs – SHOULD have fucking known what the rest of the world did not!

I know my massage clients really well.  Most of them have been seeing me for years, and not one of them is the kind of person to hold this against me.  Every one of them wants me safe, and wants to stay healthy and protect the health of their family.  But I got out my emotional baseball bat and turned it ruthlessly on myself.

Mostly I just couldn’t figure out why the decision was DRAINING me so much. Thinking about it left me deflated and unmotivated, and the self-flagellation was so FAR under my radar (read: practiced enough to be on auto-pilot) that I didn’t even SEE it. But I sure as hell FELT it in my bones.

Thank the Universe I have a coach!  Thank God I have developed
the habit of journaling when things feel “off” to try to make sense of them.  Thank Goddess I took this realization of constant, systemic
self-flagellation to both my coach and my journal!

YES!  Even though my current income is less than half what it was just three months ago, I make room in my budget to pay a certified, professional coach, and she is worth every penny.

When I took a long, curious look at my behavior, the following observations occurred.

I understand now that my own harsh self-judgment is my biggest roadblock, and a constant drain on my energy. When I beat myself up, it is the anchor that keeps me from moving forward into my goals!

For example: if I eat off plan, and then beat myself up for eating off plan, I am far more likely to eat off plan AGAIN to soothe my hard feelings. But if I eat off plan and then get curious about why I didn’t stick to my healthy intentions, look at my thoughts and  process my emotions, I am far less likely to fall off the plan again!

The thing holding me back more than anything else is my own judgment of my behavior.  Beating myself up has been holding me back. Beating myself up keeps me from accomplishing my goals.  Beating myself up comes REALLY easily to me.  I’ve practiced it repeatedly for decades, so it’s as natural as breathing and occurs with the same regularity.

I’ve been beating myself up for being human. I’ve eviscerated myself for making mistakes, or not getting ideal results on my first attempt.  I’ve been beating myself up for not doing things I thought I  “should” do because other people expected me to do them.  I’ve been beating myself up for not doing things as well as someone who’s been doing them for decades longer than I have. I have beat myself up for “disappointing” my clients because I was too sick or injured to work. 
I have beat myself up for having emotions that I judged to be negative.  I beat myself up for judging myself. I beat myself up because I should have known better. I beat myself up because I should have been farther along by now. I beat myself up because I said or did something that I judged ‘stupid’ and felt embarrassed.

I beat myself up for not getting enough done in a day!
I am the sole employee at THREE business that I run by myself. I am super-productive, highly efficient, and an organizationally GIFTED, super-human achiever by most standards, and I still would beat the crap out of myself for not getting ALL of it done. 

Fuck!  No wonder I’m exhausted.

All of these things are normal human experiences.  But I have been using them against myself. I have been using them to drain my own energy. The biggest drain on my energy is the enemy within me.
And I am done.  

I am done beating myself up.  From this moment forward, I beat myself up for NOTHING and no one. I will not judge myself harshly. I will allow myself human moments including the full range of this amazing Human Experience.

My self-judgement gremlin has been saying, “Cyndi, you can’t handle this.”

And for years now I have believed her, and beat myself up because I didn’t like the emotions I was feeling, or felt I couldn’t handle a situation because it didn’t turn out exactly as I wanted.

Moving Forward

In order to cultivate awareness of self judgement, I will ask:
What’s going on here? Why am I being harsh with me?   How helpful is that? Where did that come from? Why am I telling myself this story? 

I intend from this moment forward to be compassionate with myself and when I fall short of that intention, I can give myself some grace instead of picking up the emotional baseball bat and wielding it against myself!

You can’t kill gremlins.

‘Gremlins’ is a term used in coaching to describe the voices in your head that say things like, “You can’t handle this.”  “You’re not good enough.”  “You suck.”  “Why bother?”  “It’s too late.” “Everyone except YOU has their shit together.”

I’ve learned a few things working through my own gremlins, and guiding clients to work with their gremlins. Gremlins arise to protect us and they don’t like to be left behind. If they fear they will be left behind, they grow louder and cause a great deal of discomfort. The way to ease their fear is to assure them they are not being left behind, and that we will give them an important role to fill in our lives.  I usually do this by writing them a letter, thanking them for protecting me, and offering them a key role in my psyche moving forward.  Here’s what I wrote to this harsh, punishing voice in my head.

My Darling Self-Judgment Gremlin,  
I would be honored if you would accept the role of discernment decider!   Discernment is crucial to human survival, because all of our choices are based on preferences. When I can discern what I do not want, then I can more clearly discern what I do want.   Without you my darling discernment decider, I would feel confused and without direction. You get to help me decide where we steer our ship, which star we follow,  and what flavor ice cream we eat on the way!  Don’t forget your fucking cheerleading skirt!

Much love, Cyndi

Grow on!

What gremlin messages play on repeat in your head?  
How true is that?  
What is it trying to protect you from? 
How much pain is the message causing you? 
How helpful is that? 
Why does this story keep running on repeat?  
What is it costing to listen to constant negative messaging?  
How willing are you to let it go now?

If this resonates for you and you would like to create a roadmap from self-shaming  to self-respect, I offer two FREE coaching sessions to help you shift directions.  WHY free?  Why not charge for the sessions since I have no massage income?  

Because many people don’t understand the value of coaching.  And if finances are currently adversely affected by the pandemic, most won’t be willing to invest in something if they can’t comprehend its value.  Most people immediately see the value after two sessions, and then invest in my services, so the free sessions are a win-win.  Even if the client does NOT invest in my services, it’s a win-win!  I get to practice coaching about which I am passionate and inspired, and they gain insight into themselves and acquire tools that will serve them for as long as they choose to use them!

The Importance of Being Self-Centered

Does self-care seem indulgent or selfish right now? 

Do you feel like you can’t take a break, ask yourself what you need, and then give that to yourself?  Does thinking of your own needs NOW make you a bad person?  No!  No it does not.

Most of us are feeling rage, or fear, or sadness, or shock or all of the above about the events happening in our world.  These emotions are catabolic and drain our energy.  They increase our stress levels, release cortisol that depletes our adrenals, and exhaust our physical apparatus.  How much good can we do if we show up to protest feeling hungry, tired, or overwhelmed?

Self-care is NOT indulgent.  Self care is CRUCIAL if you expect to help, uplift, or protect anyone – especially yourself!

The world NEEDS all of it’s warrior spirits right now!  

The time is here to stand up for what you believe in – which is altogether DIFFERENT than pushing against what you do not want – and you cannot stand for something if you are too exhausted to stand!

PLEASE do whatever you feel called to do, whatever you feel capable of doing to support our brothers and sisters of color, but please remember to take care of you first.  You will be a far more effective ally if your energy is fully engaged.

You are as deserving of love and care as the people you want to support and uplift.  And you will be a far more effective advocate for change if you feel positive and powerful instead of drug-out or depleted.

Here is a short list of options for self-care
adapted from Ana Verzone’s Freedom School:

▪ Learn to say “no.”
▪ Develop a relaxing evening ritual.
▪ Allow yourself to feel and express all of your emotions
▪ Bring you into the present moment.
▪ Create art as a form of anxiety and/or stress release.
▪ Remind yourself of the good stuff in life by writing a gratitude list.
▪ Stop being your harshest critic. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
▪ Do some stretching exercises.
▪ Take a walk.
▪ Drink more water.
▪ Go out and spend 10 minutes under the sun.
▪ Go for a bike ride to nowhere in particular.
▪ Spend time in nature.
▪ Go to bed early.
▪ Avoid toxic people.
▪ Ask for help. Let people know you need some help.
▪ Call a trusted friend or family member and talk things out.
▪ Schedule a date night with yourself.
▪ Limit the time you spend on news/social media.
▪ Make time for meditation.
▪ Do a body scan, and check in with each part of your body.
▪ Do something nice for someone in secret.
▪ Donate money to a charity of your choosing.
▪ Spend time intentionally raising your vibration.

Pick ones that appeal to you.  Support & strengthen yourself first.  Then get out there and do whatever your spirit is being called to do!

I am offering two free coaching sessions to anyone wanting coaching right now! Coaching is what I am good at, and it’s what I can do to help after I recharge my own batteries! Please email me if you would like some help being at your best during challenging times!

Stop Shoulding on Yourself!

Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective?

Honestly?  Most people find that feeling we “should” do something drains our energy, so it’s demotivating rather than motivating. 
Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind.

Should is “could” with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration.  No wonder “should” is so heavy!

Could means we are at choice.  We could do something if we chose to do it.  It’s a choice, an option, completely voluntary.  Should suggests that we are somehow less-than if we choose not to do whatever we are shoulding ourselves to do.

When we have choices, we feel more empowered!

Should means we don’t have a choice, and nothing makes us feel more powerless. Simply shifting our thought from, “I should wash the dishes,” to “I want to wash the dishes so the kitchen will be tidy,” can be immensely energizing.

I’m not talking rainbows and lollypops.  I’m talking about creating new thought pathways that cause less stress in our lives.  Less stress means less cortisol and less disease, so it’s worth the effort!  And finding ways to reframe your thoughts can be fun, and creative.

Grow on!

Catching your ‘shoulds’ is the first step.  
Listen for them when you speak and think.
When you catch yourself, stop and ask:

Why do I believe I should?
What is the worst that will happen if I don’t? Can I live with that?
How can I reframe it so that I am choosing to do this?
What’s the most positive aspect about choosing to do this?
How can I make this fun?


having trouble reframing a ‘should’ statement?
drop it in the comments and I’ll help you brainstorm some ideas, so you can take back your power!

Give Yourself a Break!

I have been receiving massage on a regular basis for the last decade and a half.  Once a week I give my body a break from EVERYTHING. 
I put myself face down on some lucky therapist’s table and I just release every bit of tension I can release.  It’s like a rebirth for my energy.  Blood, oxygen, and chi all begin to flow where they may have been stuck.

I learned a long time ago that not only do I release the tension my muscles are holding during massage, but my muscles remember how to release, so they actually accumulate less stress between massages.  

But here in pandemic world, LOTS of perceived stress to go around
and NO massages!  So what can we do to release stress?

Give yourself a fucking break!

Often we are so busy that massage time is the ONLY time we allow ourselves to relax.  Maybe you look forward to some down time during your regular pedicure.  I remember being so busy when my kids were little, that I looked forward to doctors appointments because I usually got a solid 10 or 15 minutes in the wait room where I could just sit!

If you can’t schedule a massage, a pedi, or spend 15 minutes just waiting in a doctor’s office, when are you scheduling rest breaks? Most of us just aren’t!

It’s like we think we have to “do” something on order to relax.  What if we just relaxed?  What if when we’re tired, we just lay down and take a nap? 

Does going with the flow seem too radical?

Write a rest break right into your schedule. 

It’s as important if not MORE important than anything else on your schedule.

I KNOW!  You’re working from home, learning new tech, teaching your kids, walking the dog, and trying not to lose your mind.  But if we were NOT sheltering at home and socially distancing, you would schedule that massage or that pedi, or that yoga class, right? 

Set that hour aside for rest!  

Pencil it right in where the massage or the pedi would go.  Let anyone you live with know that you have an appointment to keep and then use that time to be quiet.  Close your eyes and just rest.  In bed is fine, or on a yoga mat.  Put a bolster or pillow under your knees, and a slightly rolled towel under head and neck to support your relaxation.

Savasana is the “corpse pose” done at the end of a yoga class. 

Make yourself as comfy as possible and just let it all go!  Let go of the “have too” and the “must-dos” and all the rest of it, and just relax for 30 minutes.

If it’s possible to fall asleep, and you need to be up and doing something in the next segment of your day, set an alarm on your phone.  Choose one that’s gentle, like birds chirping so it doesn’t jar you from the resting place, but rather invites you to open your eyes.

Humans rarely allow themselves time to become fully rested and most of us are often deprived of the right amount of sleep.  But rest is essential to body, mind and spirit!  

If you are hearing stories in your head that tell you that you don’t have time to rest, or you don’t deserve adequate relaxation, or self-care, coaching might be able to help!

In the most basic of terms, what I do as an energy coach is help clients remember how to release worry, anxiety, self-doubt, low energy and overwhelm. 

If you or anyone you know is interested in uncovering what’s holding you back, and moving beyond where you’ve been able to grow before, please contact me at cyndicombs@gmail.com to set up a free phone session to see if coaching is right for you.

Grow on!

Just relax!

It’s totally fine to freak out.

You really do get to choose your perspective, so choose the one that serves you best. 

You can choose to see the pandemic as a horrible, challenging,
crisis-riddled, terrifying, chaos that is worsened by everything the government does, and continues to spiral out of control.  That is certainly fucking true and if you want to look at that, and point to it,
discuss it ad nauseum, and pour your energies into it, no one will blame you even a little! 

Or we can accept that circumstances are challenging, and choose to look for opportunities to shine in the darkness. 

We can choose to look for the kindness in people, the generous nature of our neighbors, the chance to help others.  We can choose to look at the benefits to Mother Earth of her children slowing down, and the benefits to our health from cleaner air.  We can appreciate a chance to consider what it is we truly value.  We can choose to shift our focus from finances to wellbeing, because we have been meaning to focus on wellbeing for such a long time.  We have more time to spend talking to those we love most.  We have time to cherish this one precious life.

It is a time to take stock and clean house, to decide which pieces we want to keep and which we want to let go.

We can panic, and suffer with the heavy “unknown” weighing us down, or we can rise up with faith and know that everything has a purpose.  Everything is happening for us, for our benefit, for the greatest good of all involved.

We each get to choose.  And if right now you are choosing panic and fear, that does not make you wrong, it makes you human. Don’t beat yourself up even if you are the most uplifting person who always chooses the bright side.  If your friends and family are choosing panic and fear, that’s normal. Don’t shame them for experiencing emotions!

Humans have emotions.  All of them are normal.  But just because emotions are normal, does not mean we must suffer them whenever they hit us smack out of the blue. 

In the last two weeks, I have experienced a few panic attacks and some outright fear.  These feelings are planet-wide at the moment creating a vibration that is palpable, especially if you are sensitive to energy the way humans are.  When I feel the pull of the negative vibrations, it feels ICKY!  I want to run and hide so I don’t have to fucking FEEL it! 

Instead, I try to remember to allow the vibration some space inside me.  I identify how the vibrations feel physically, and name the emotions that I am experiencing and NOT enjoying.

This allows me to process the emotion and release it more quickly. 

That doesn’t mean that I don’t feel the fear again, but it does mean that now I have built confidence.  When the fear edges in again,
I remember that it did NOT knock me off my feet last time, so I allow it some space inside me again, knowing that the emotion is uncomfortable, but not fatal.  Each time I process a challenging emotion and transform that energy, I gain confidence and build my faith that I can handle this shit. 

It’s a step by step process.  It doesn’t mean I won’t experience hard emotions, it just means I have confidence that those challenging emotions can’t overrun my life.

Faith is like any other muscle.  We must strengthen it daily if we want it to be strong when our lives depend on it.

And if all of this sounds like platitudes at the moment because the sky is falling, it’s OK.  

The sky IS falling and you are allowed to be human and observe the obvious danger in the situation.  Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.  But it’s your choice.  So don’t let them tell you you have to focus on fearful or selfish energies just because they exist!

We can also choose to focus on the beauty of our eternal soul,
the opportunity to make someone smile, less traffic and cleaner air,
the chance to try living differently.

I personally vacillate between seething anger that there are still non-essential businesses operating in California, and complete
and utter calm because I know that everything is always working out for the highest good of everyone involved even when our current vantage point makes it seem like the ship is sinking
and none of us will survive. 

Here’s hoping you have more moments this week where you are able to choose calm over anger, love over disinterest, faith over fear.

Taming Your Gremlin

Awareness is a powerful weapon against the inner critic.  

I hope that since my previous post you have had an opportunity to observe the critic, to become aware of when it’s speaking to you and what sorts of situations trigger it.

Did you observe how gremlin thoughts start to lose power the minute you shine your awareness on them?  Awareness by itself is actually all you need to overcome some of the smallest gremlins.  They scatter like cockroaches when the light of awareness touches them.  However, for some gremlins that have been around a very long time with messages we have taken on as beliefs, we need awareness first along with some other tools to help free us from the stranglehold they place on our energy.

Get to know your personal gremlin.

Visualizing or creating a physical representation of the inner critic is a great tool to use to understand that the gremlin is separate from us, and that the messages of the gremlin are NOT our inner voice, but actually come from outside of ourselves. 

I first visualized my gremlins as cockroaches because I enjoy thinking about them scattering when I shine my light of awareness on them.  When I took a class aimed at overcoming the programming of the inner critic, we were assigned the task of creating a physical representation of the gremlin.  My first idea was to photoshop the face of a person yelling at me onto a cockroach. 

The idea made me smile, but I really wanted something I could punch if I wanted to, so I bought a puppet from Paisley’s Puppets in Oakland, and gave her a hat to wear.

This is my own personal gremlin, Kalista Kockroach Krabapple III.

I keep Kalista where I can see her daily to remind me that I am not the voices in my head. 

Create your own gremlin if the idea resonates for you!  I know for some clients, the idea of thinking about the inner critic as a “gremlin” does NOT resonate.  If that’s the case for you, that’s cool.  Try calling it inner critic or ego, or Ralph, or cluttered mind, or anything that helps you think of it as “not you” because those messages are NOT you, and we want to begin to set it apart from the self.

Physical Signals

Once I realized that these messages were not my own, it dawned on me that the reason I felt so shitty when thinking inner critic thoughts is because they are NOT true.  When things resonate, they feel good physically and lift our energy!  Truth resonates. 

Resonate means ‘to produce resonance.’  Resonance is defined as ‘the quality of being deep, full, and reverberating,’ or ‘the ability to evoke or suggest images, memories, and emotions.’  Truth does this. Capital T.

A thought that is not true, on the other hand, does the opposite of resonate.  It makes us physically recoil.  That little knot in the pit of your gut, or under your solar plexus is your physical being recoiling from something that your core essence KNOWS is not true.  This physical recoil takes place for the same reason our hand would recoil from a flame: to avoid pain.  That physical signal is a communication from the Highest Self to avoid that thought that feels so icky.

Let that soak in.  The physical sensation you get when you think a thought that feels crappy is a signal to BACK THE FUCK AWAY from that thought.  “That thought will cause you pain.”  “Don’t go there.”  That’s your gut instinct screaming to get your attention.

How does this resonate for you?  Don’t take my word for this stuff, check in with your gut.  When you read the information above, did it resonate?  Make you recoil?

Tell your gremlin to fuck off!

Once I learned that the inner critic was NOT me, and I learned to identify that physical sensation that told me the gremlin was lying to me again, I wanted those cockroaches OUT of my head!  When I would hear the nasty little bastards starting in, I visualized myself flicking them away like the tiny vermin they are.

Once when I turned to a friend with an issue I thought was a struggle, she gave me some really solid advice.  Her email contained wisdom, reassurance, validation, and these beautiful seven words:

Flicking them away and telling them to fuck off allowed me to reclaim my own power.  For me, as well as many other people, this is a vitally important step.  When I was in coaching school, we talked a LOT about the inner critic because gremlin messages are one of the biggest issues people bring to coaching. 

That’s where I learned that telling the inner critic to fuck off is a great first step, but is not usually enough to exterminate the cockroaches.  For that, we need to understand the message and it’s original purpose, because their purpose was never to get us to live small and stay scared.  That was the outcome of their message once it outlived it’s usefulness.

Understand it’s true purpose.

The true purpose of the cluttered thoughts, gremlin messages, inner critic voice is sometimes to protect us from perceived harm.  

For instance: If your father backhanded you so hard you flew across the room when you voiced an opinion that didn’t agree with his, you may have developed a message that said, “Never speak your truth – it causes pain,” or, “Never disagree with those in authority,” or, “Your ideas are NOT valid,” or, “No one wants to hear your thoughts,” or any number of other ideas that may have kept you safe in that particular situation, but are now standing in the way of you experiencing your life to the fullest.

Some messages are meant to control us.  For instance: Maybe an ex-spouse told you repeatedly that you are unloveable, and followed that up with actions that seemed to prove the point.  That message actually says far more about the ex than about you, but if self-esteem is low enough, or if you have been practicing thoughts about being unworthy, you may buy this message wholesale.  Then when the marriage ends, the gremlins tell us that no one will ever love us.  And it’s possible, that the gremlins are trying to protect us again!  They are trying to keep us out of situations that might hurt.

If any of this resonates for you, you are NOT alone!  

Are you getting a slight knot in your solar plexus, or a slight feeling of nausea?  Remember, that feeling of physical recoil means those thoughts are NOT true!

The important thing here is to understand that these messages came from outside of self.  They were intended to keep you safe, or were the agenda of outside forces.  WHERE they came from is NOT important!  You may immediately recognize where some of your inner critic messages come from, but please don’t waste time trying to figure out where or when or why your messages came to you.

Simply recognize that where you are now, those messages no longer serve a purpose, so it’s safe to start leaving them behind and embrace Truth of your awesomeness.  The faster you do, the better you feel!

Train the inner critic for a NEW job!

So, you have this really powerful voice inside your head that you’ve been listening to for a while now, and it seems like the voice is trying to help you on some level, even though it’s messages are constantly draining your energy.  How do we stop the ebb of energy into negative thought patterns and redirect it into building new, more positive thought pathways?

You’re probably getting good at being aware of your personal inner critic messages by now.  Maybe you’ve even visualized your gremlin and know it’s name.  So now it’s time to begin retraining the gremlin.  It wants to help, so let’s give it something helpful to do!

Retrain that inner critic to repeat messages that build your energy and give you motivation. 

When I first went to coaching school, my gremlin ROARED that everyone in class was more educated than me, better coaches than me, and that I had nothing to offer.  “Keep quiet so they won’t know how much you DON’T know!”

Like I said, we did a LOT of coaching on gremlins at iPEC, and I discovered that almost everyone in class had gremlins as loud and as mean as mine were!  All of us had some version of the same message: “You are not enough.”  It was a revelation to understand that I was not alone.  We are all exactly the same in our own unique ways!

So I began to picture Kalista in a little cheerleading uniform.  I mentally had her turn her dunce cap into a bull horn, and every time one of the old thoughts popped in to say, “you are not smart enough,” I pictured Kalista shouting it down with rallying cries of, “Cyndi is a ROCKSTAR coach and an awesome person with valuable insights to offer the other coaches in this class!”  Complete with pompoms.

Grow on!

How would you like to reimagine your inner critic? 
What messages would you enjoy hearing? 
What messages are inspiring for you ? 
What messages will motivate you to move closer to your goal? 
What will change in your life once you change the voices in your head? 
What inner critic message seems LOUDEST in your head? 
How would you like to re-write that one? 

What questions do you still have about taming that inner critic? 
Ask your questions in the comments below this post!


Read Rick Carson’s Book!

If you want to learn more about taming gremlins, follow this link to order Taming Your Gremlin: A Surprisingly Simple Method for Getting Out of Your Own Way by Rick Carson. It’s the preeminent work on gremlin taming and a very useful book full of inspired illustrations.  He also has a Facebook page you can access here.


For over 400 positive affirmations and uplifting reminders on my landscape photography, follow this link.

Self-Acceptance is Key

Why the FUCK does our culture teach women to loathe themselves?

Pardon my sailor mouth, but shining the light on our own Divine worthiness is one of the main reasons I became a coach and I am quite passionate that every woman learn her own intrinsic value!

If we loathe ourselves, it’s easier for the patriarchy to control us. Who will stand up and say, “We deserve better treatment,” when we believe we deserve nothing? When we believe we are unworthy, or less worthy than those around us, we are easy to control, and push around.

When people realize their value, we are more likely to stand up for ourselves, demand equal pay, point out unfair treatment, and refuse to tolerate discrimination.

I wish I had a dime for every friend and client who chooses self-loathing over self-love, or caring for others over self-care!

Nine times out of ten the thing keeping my client from reaching their goals is a lack of self-acceptance and self-care. I see it every day and I strive, to help other women realize that they deserve as much love and care as they give to everyone else! Self-love is what saved me from depression and inaction. Self-acceptance came only after I offered myself the love I was giving everyone else, and remembered my own essential value.

Those we love are no more valuable or more worthy than self.

The person you adore and will do ANYTHING for, no matter what, is ONLY as deserving of love and abundance as you are.

The person you adore and will do ANYTHING for, no matter what, COULD BE YOU, if you allow it to be.

What in your world will shift when you shift your thinking around
self-worth?

What will you be capable of when you accept how capable you are?

How will others see you if you choose to see yourself as a valuable human who deserves love, praise, abundance, health, wealth, support, and acceptance from yourself and the world at large?

What part of you is talking when you think that you don’t deserve all that and more?

Why do you feel so disconnected when you label yourself unworthy or less worthy than others?

Normally as a coach, I don’t answer the questions I pose, but I will answer that last one.

The human spirit is literally a piece of Divine grace instilled into us on our very first breath; a piece of God, if you will. Through this grace, we are eternally connected to Source, or God energy. This connection is where our power comes from – Source energy (the very same energy that created the Universe and stars)!

When we think thoughts that Source knows are not true, we feel disconnected or separated from that power. (We are never truly disconnected but it feels like we’re being pulled apart.) Pulling ourselves away from the viewpoint, or vibration of Source is what feels so WRONG, depresses our energy, and decreases our power. In fact, consistently choosing thoughts that do not align with Source makes us feel powerless.

Aligning ourselves with the viewpoint of Source allows us to feel powerful, connected, tuned-in, tapped-in, turned-on, and unstoppable!

From the viewpoint of Source, you are God. You are an infinite being without limitations, worthy of all the abundant health, wealth and love that is available in the Universe! You are Divine, and perfect in your imperfection. You are not broken. you do not need fixing. There is nothing wrong with you or where you are!
— If you are thinking “of COURSE there is something wrong with me,” – How does that thought feel? Does it twist your tummy into a knot? That’s a sure sign that you are thinking thoughts that Source knows are NOT true, so the thought literally pulls your energy apart.

All we need to do to feel love and acceptance is love and accept ourselves!

photo by Dani Navarro

Give yourself some grace!

Don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself!
Take a minute or ten every day to try on some self love!

Be gracious and allow yourself to believe that you are as worthy as your children, your partner, your boss, your mentor. Practice affirming out loud how worthy and deserving you are. If you are afraid others will judge you for loving yourself, practice out of their view, when you are home alone with your dog. (Dog loves as unconditionally as God!)

Do something special for yourself. Buy yourself a present you wish someone else would buy for you! Plan a mini vacation to recharge your own batteries. What is something you used to be passionate about but you no longer “have the time to do”? Do that! Schedule some time to do things you love to do! Create art. Take a music class, a cooking class, a nutrition class, or a dance class! Whatever inspires you or lifts your energy. Do THAT for no reason other than it inspires you and lifts your energy!

How does that feel?

It might feel uncomfortable at first as most new behaviors will, but under that, how do you feel? Valued? Honored? Accepted? Connected? Worthy?

Practice your worth. Value yourself. Allow yourself to FEEL those feelings of love and worthiness. If it doesn’t feel natural, remind yourself that this is new, and will take some time to get used to.

Here are some more thoughts to move your vibration toward self-love, self-care, and radical self-acceptance.

Make your own sunshine!

Download the images with sayings that resonate and practice saying them aloud. Make them part of your vibration and part of the practice that brings you into alignment with the Universal Truth that you are valuable and worthy, simply by being.

You are fucking awesome!