Feel good NOW!

Most of us know that when we look good, we tend to feel good.
But are you aware that the opposite is also true?

When we feel good, we look good.

Think about a time when you felt really great about yourself.  How much more comfortable were you in your own skin?  How powerful and confident did you feel?  When we feel accomplished, triumphant, successful, truly loved, filled with purpose – of course we look better.  Our body chemistry is completely different than when we feel confused, failed, unloved, directionless, or under attack.

It is common in this world, I have noticed, for people who are reaching for a weight-loss goal to try to reach that goal by forcing, harassing, restricting, stressing, pushing, and hating themselves.  

It is also common to decide that the body is not right by societal standards, so it must not be liked, in fact it must be hated.  We feel we must hate the body into submission, hate our eating issues for making us fat, hate food for being so fattening and delicious at the same time, hate our appetite, flog ourselves at the gym until we finally reach a weight where we will feel better about ourselves, or just give up entirely and eat for solace because we are so damned imperfect.

If any of this resonates for you, you’re not alone! 

Somehow this crazy world has conditioned us (brainwashed us through media propaganda, and advertising campaigns designed to sell a magic fix for bodies that are not right by societal standards) to believe that we must hate ourselves until we reach their standards.  To which I feel compelled to reply:

Fuck. Their. Fucking. Standards.

I invite you to join me in saying, “Fuck their standards.” 

If they don’t like my body, FUCK them.  Because you know what I decided to do?  I decided to approve of my body right now.  I decided that their standards are fucking stupid, and they do not appeal to me, so they do not apply to me because I am the authority on what is fucking beautiful in my life.  

Why?  Cause it’s my life. 

Their judgements only count if I give them validity and I just revoked their right to decide anything for me.  I choose to decide for myself.  I invite each of you to step into your own power and decide for your self what is beautiful in your life, because who the fuck are THEY anyway?  Who are they to judge ME unworthy? 

I am a child of God, a conduit of Divine love and light, and I will not dim my light to allow them to feel comfortable in my presence!

They want me to feel diminished, unworthy, and powerless so that they can grow rich and feel better about themselves. Fuck that! And while we’re at it, fuck the collective ‘them’ who believes they are anyone’s authority on what is good and right and beautiful.

If we feel more beautiful when we are feeling truly loved, then what POWER we wield when we choose to truly love ourselves as we are, without waiting for the approval of others.

I choose to feel my true divinity flowing through me.  I choose to feel confident and powerful.  And every time I feel the Divine Truth of Who I am, I look fucking amazing.

photo by donnio, on a day when i felt GREAT and it shows.

Grow on!

  • What is stopping you from feeling good about you NOW? 
  • What baby steps can you take toward loving yourself more now?
  • What kind of example do you want to set for your children and grandchildren?
  • Each time you become aware that negative self-talk arises,
    what can you say to remind yourself to move gently back in the direction of self-love?

Be Your Own Best Friend!

Have you ever told your best friend that she looked fat in her outfit, or that she needs to drop a few pounds?  Have you ever looked your best friend in the eye and told her she should be ashamed of her body or her weight?  No?

Then why the fuck would you do it to You?

Have you ever looked at an infant with her chubby knees and thought, “I just can’t love someone with all that fat!”  I seriously doubt it.  

So why do we withhold love from ourselves, or shame ourselves for fat on our body?  Why would we hold ourselves to a higher standard of perfection?  How possible is it to love ourself the way we love our friends?

Hate does not help.  Hate does not motivate.  Hate does not inspire.

If we perceive that someone does not like us, we often feel wounded, or hurt.  It is no less painful when the disapproval comes from self!  Disapproval of self can damage the psyche, delay healing, and derail our goals.  

We cannot hate ourselves into loving our body, and as a wise client recently reminded me, we cannot heal what we hate.  If we live in a home we hate, how much effort will we put into repairing it?  Same goes for our body!  If we have a body transformation goal, how much effort are we willing to put in if we constantly tell ourselves the body is unlovable as it is, and needs to be fixed?

Next time you look at yourself appraisingly, give yourself as much love and support as you would give your best friend!  Next time you get a little off track with your plan, or goals, try gently encouraging yourself back on track rather than belittling or berating yourself for a perfectly normal human moment.  

Perfection is a damaging illusion, a standard to which we rarely hold others, yet frequently try to hold ourselves. Our body transformation goals cannot manifest when we are under attack.

What will it take to treat you like your own best friend?

Grow on!

Practice looking in the mirror and telling that beautiful human how MUCH you love them. This is challenging for many people, so don’t give up. Persist with the practice of telling you that you love you, more often than you tell yourself negative messages.

Next time you catch yourself saying something mean to self, pretend you caught yourself saying it to your friend, or your child. What would you do? I might hug them and apologize and promise to be more intentional as often as possible moving forward.

Make a list of everything that you appreciate about your body! Our body is a miracle that we often take for granted. We can be so grateful for our lungs that breathe without any effort, a heart that beats for our lifetime, and so much more! We cannot focus appreciation and disgust onto the same object at the same time, so keeping this list handy can help when we are feeling frustrated with our body in some way.

Body Transformation Playground ~ FREE!

I am SO excited about my Mind Body Eating Coach certification training at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating!

I am studying Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology.

Soon I will be a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach with several unique tools to help people with issues like emotional eating, stress eating, binge eating, yo-yo dieting, under-eating, food guilt, body shame, food and body judgment, intense appetite, digestive issues, and more.

I am discovering so much, and am eager to share with others!

I crave space to share the concepts and tools I am learning, and opportunities to answer questions that will arise in my coaching practice. I want to share with YOU if this is something that interests or excites you!

I envision creating a group coaching program where I help women and men – who have tried repeatedly to transform their issues with food and body – to finally achieve their goals. 

To align with this vision, I created Body Transformation Playground!

I am inviting you to play!

I know many people think of body transformation as hard work, and I want to reframe that by introducing some fun things we can do that lead to sustainable change. Of course if your goal is a super lean body and six-pack abs, then some kind of hard work and sweat will be involved, and most health and nutrition coaches have tools to help people map a path to this kind of goal.

I’m talking about helping those of us who have lifelong food issues we have repeatedly tried to “fix” with one kind of eating/exercise plan or another.

I sometimes engage in emotional eating.

Like so many people, I have used food to soothe stress for my entire life. Until I learned to address the emotional reasons I eat, no plan that my coach and I concocted could ever succeed, and no changes I made would stick. Weight loss and workout plans sometimes create results, but until we address the deeper issue of what to do about our stress, we can easily get derailed, or after progress we slip back into pre-programmed habits that land us back where we started.

If you are experiencing emotional eating, stress eating, binge eating, yo-yo dieting, under eating, unwanted weight, food guilt, body shame, judgment around food and body, intense appetite, or chronic digestive issues, you are NOT alone! PLEASE join me on the Body Transformation Playground for six months FREE!


You heard me right! The Body Transformation Playground is open to you for FREE for the next six months – if you choose to join – just because you’re on my mailing list, or because someone on my mailing list forwarded this to you!

If you want to explore real body transformation, I am here to play!
Let’s make it fun!

What’s Included?

Body Transformation Playground includes a twice-monthly email focused on the juiciest tidbits, toys, and tools for body transformation that I discover in my psychology of eating classes. The emails will include fun ways to transform our relationship with food, journal topics around food and body, motivational images, ongoing encouragement, and so much more!

Once a month on zoom (audio only), I will host Body Transformation Playground live, where I practice teaching the concepts I am learning, answer participant questions, and possibly even do a little live coaching when time permits!

I will share all I am learning about eating psychology and how to free ourselves from our eating issues, and in return all I ask is that you submit questions, and give feedback.

Submit questions. Tune in to hear answers. Give feedback. That’s it!

My coaching skills are solid, but my tech skills need polishing, so these first six months will be a learning space, play space, and experimenting space for all of us while I learn how best to create fun effective content, record videos, post replays, and handle Zoom meetings, all while playing with the toys and insights I am learning at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, and sharing them with you!

Beyond this six-month series, I will be offering the Body Transformation Playground as part of a package for paid clients, so jump in now!

Join me to play with the idea that body transformation can be more fun than we have been allowing! Join me to discover more ease and enjoyment on the path to sustainable transformations!

If you are interested, subscribe by emailing me at cyndicombs@gmail.com

Simply email with “SUBSCRIBE TO PLAYGROUND” in the subject, and I will manually add your address to the list.

Currently, I am committing to Zoom meetings (audio only) on the following dates, but I may add more dates!

Dates to add to your schedule if you are interested in Body Transformation Playground:

All times listed are Pacific Daylight Time

  • Sunday, April 24 @ 6pm
  • Friday, May 27 @ 6pm
  • Monday, June 20 @ 6pm
  • Saturday, July 23 @ 9am
  • Sunday, Aug 21 @ 6pm
  • Monday, Sep 26 @ 6pm OR Friday, Sep 30 @ 6pm

I chose different days of the week to accommodate many schedules, and I am willing to be flexible with these dates based on feedback!

If joining this series excites you but you cannot make these dates, please reply to this email to let me know what day/dates/times would work for you, and we will try to work something out and add at least a few dates that will work for all of us!

Thank you so much for being willing to play some new ideas!

My practice grows through referral!

As you can tell, I am SUPER excited about my expanding coaching practice!

PLEASE forward this email if you know anyone who struggles with weight issues, emotional eating, stress eating, binge eating, yo-yo dieting, under eating, food guilt, body shame, food and body judgement, intense appetite, or digestive issues!

THANK YOU. I appreciate you!

Free To Feel Fully Human

Some emotions get a bad rap. You know the ones I mean.  Those that get branded negative, the ones that don’t feel good when we feel them in our bodies.  Emotions like anger, resentment, fear, or disgust, are ones that people don’t enjoy, and often try to avoid.  

I’m a mindset coach, and one of the things I help people do is explore different perspectives.  If we have deeply held beliefs that are not serving us, then it can be quite beneficial to shift the way that we’re thinking.  A common misperception that happens is that clients want to change how they feel, without first acknowledging the emotions they already feel.

It makes sense.  Of course we don’t want to feel hard emotions.  Who does?   But suppressing those emotions takes a lot of energy, and robs us of part of the rich tapestry of the human experience.  Imagine if an artist created her paintings with only the middle tones of colors, leaving the most vibrant colors on either end of the spectrum out of the picture. We wouldn’t get the full experience, would we?

Start Where You Are

We cannot change how we feel until we process the emotions we are already experiencing.  And it’s important to remember that ALL of our emotions are okay. They are what they are. People don’t control their emotions. Our emotions arise to show us what we’re thinking.  Our emotions arrive with the message to pay attention – become aware – of the thoughts we are choosing. (Spoiler alert: our thoughts CREATE our emotions!)

So if you feel angry, disappointed, or hurt.  Allow yourself to FEEL angry, disappointed or hurt.  Sit with the feeling.  Acknowledge it.  Instead of resisting challenging emotions, allow them to be what they are – sensations in our body.  Practice describing the physical sensations you feel when you feel the emotion. Then try “being with” the emotion by focusing on the physical sensations.

Example: fear to speak in public might feel to some people like sweaty palms, increased heart rate, tight shoulders. If that’s the case, focus on the palms, the heart, the shoulders, without attaching the story of public speaking. Observe the physical sensations objectively, and they begin to subside.

For a more active method of processing emotions, find a safe space, set a timer and give yourself 15 or 20 minutes to just be obsessed, or throw a fit or have a tantrum. Scream into your pillow, or beat it up. Vomit the voices in your head onto pages you can burn later.  Your inner child is asking to be heard and is not going to let you feel content again until you give yourself some space to process those emotions.  Cry if you need to. Let yourself rage until the timer goes off.

You’ll be surprised and delighted how quickly the intensity of the emotion  can dissipate.

If your emotions feel too big to handle on your own, like they might swallow you if you let yourself be alone with them, then find a wonderful therapist to create that safe space with you.

Avoiding or suppressing our emotions cannot destroy that catabolic energy.
It simply transfers that energy somewhere else.  It’s like holding a beach ball underwater, eventually it’s going to pop back up with a lot of force.  Many times when we try to suppress anger,
or resentment that energy gets even heavier and shows up as shame, depression,
or self-doubt.

If we try to suppress fear, and brush it off as nothing, we could learn that we’re in actual danger and our intuition was giving us a very important message.  I like to ask my anger or my disappointment what it’s trying to tell me.  If you are feeling angry about something, there is a reason for that anger, and only you know what that reason is.  What is your anger trying to tell you?  (Hint: it’s NOT that someone else needs to shape up.)

Processing our emotions is important.

This is not the same as directing our emotions at somebody else.   We can’t spill anger, frustration and irritation on others and expect them to process it for us. They are not responsible for our emotions any more than we are responsible for theirs!  If this has been your experience of hard emotions – people directing them at you, or others around you – it makes perfect sense that you would want to suppress them, or that you would see them as harmful or scary. Anyone would feel that way. Processing our emotions is an introspective thing, meaning it is a mirror to look into in order to learn more about our own mind, and improve our own experience of life.  

Trying to shift mindset without processing emotions first is like putting a happy-face sticker on a gas gauge so you can’t see that the tank is empty. It looks better on the surface but doesn’t address the underlying cause!

Once we have accepted that we have challenging emotions (as all humans do), then we can process them. Once we have processed our emotions, then we can begin to shift our mindset so that we attract better feeling emotions!

Grow on!

How comfortable are you feeling all of your emotions?

How comfortable are you expressing all of your emotions?

What emotions are you suppressing?

How might that be affecting your life?


This is a process I help my clients with all the time! If you are ready to transform your life, please contact me at this link to schedule a short conversation. I look forward to connecting with you.

Own Your Awesome!

Human beings have a hard time owning our awesome.  We can see it, admire it, value it, but rarely do we ever want to attach it to ourselves.

I want you to own your awesome, so here’s a simple exercise I hope will help.

Make a list of your values.
Make a list of qualities you admire in others.

The lists will be different for each of us, but could look like this:
Nature
Connection
Vitality
Faith
Confidence
Joyful
Independent
Creative
Honest  
Professional  
Trustworthy 
Reliable  
Calm
Effective
Helpful

As I mentioned in my earlier post, Who Do You Admire Most?,
if you SEE these qualities, you ARE these qualities.

“I am” statements help us own qualities in a powerful way!

Often we use them against ourselves:
I am broke.
I am depressed.
I am so stupid.

You KNOW this song! Most of us sing it frequently.  Those kind of “I am” statements need to be released because “I am” attaches us and we don’t want to (or need to) own those qualities!

Look at that list of your values, and qualities you admire.  Which ones do you already embody?  “I am organized,” is one I can completely relate to.  Choose  the ones from your list that resonate most, and own them first.

I am honest.
I am professional.
I am trustworthy.

Then cull the list again for ones that you are growing toward, or desire to embody, and own them too!

I am confidence.
I am amazing.
I am joyful.
I am uplifting.

Own your awesome.  Affirm your awesome.  Practice the “I am” statements that feel GOOD to you!  

Practice. Practice. Practice.

Grow on!

What characteristics do you regularly affirm with “I am” statements?
Do you want to own them?
How willing are you to release those?
What qualities do you want to affirm as your own?
How often are you willing to practice owning them?

Blow Jobs & Touch Trees

Glennon Doyle’s Untamed is soul-opening. 

It is raw, powerful, inspirational Truth.  Glennon conceals nothing.  She strips her soul bare and lies it before her reader with great reverence and without apology.  Her prose is poetry.  Her strength incredible.  Her impact indelible.

Every morning I read something uplifting with my coffee before I begin my meditations.  Glennon has been my coffee companion for over a month now as I dole out the chapters like fine chocolates to be savored slowly and treasured, rather than gobbled all at once.  These are stories we all recognize of deeply human, vulnerable moments of family, love, addiction, triumph, bravery, fear of doing hard things and learning that we can do them anyway.

In a chapter titled blow jobs, Glennon reveals her truth to her therapist in the hopes of gaining support or insight.  The therapist tells her not to listen to her heart, to give up on her dream, to live a small, conventional life, and stay in a loveless marriage.  Every woman who has ever had her deep Knowing discounted by an authority figure knows how eviscerating that feels.  Many in that position have returned obediently to cages too small for our Knowing and our dreams, to lead ill-fitting lives based on the beliefs of others.

Thankfully for us, not only did Glennon listen to her Knowing, she lay her soul bare for the rest of us, and used it to build a road map of metaphor and love.  She exquisitely explains how to be our own touch tree, perpetually returning to our own Knowing to keep us from getting too far gone.  She reminds us to untame ourselves, despite the determination of our culture to tame us into neat little cages and tiny lives that please THEM. 

Cause fuck that!

Glennon knows she’s a goddamn cheetah. Untamed is her brilliant, beautiful memoir reminding the rest of us we’re goddamn cheetahs too.

Before I even finished the book,
I ordered a copy for my daughter. 
A few chapters later I ordered one
for my sister as well.  Now I have purchased the audiobook version
and I listen to Glennon read it to me on my morning walk.

This book feeds my soul. 
It opens me more to my own Knowing.  It reminds me how to reclaim my own power.  It shows me that reclaiming my power is possible, because we can do hard things.

Grow On!

Check out Untamed at your library, or purchase here on Amazon.

Who do you admire most?

I LOVE asking my clients this question!

Who do you admire? Think about the people you know, mentors or teachers you have had in your life, spiritual gurus, political activists, saints, public figures, writers, whoever it is that you admire right now. Make a list of at least 5 people.

Cyndi’s Current List in no particular order…

Esther Hicks
Jill Lebeau
Laura Grooms – my amazing sister
Ana Verzone
Barb Heenan

What do you admire about them?

Make a list of the traits/characteristics you admire about them.

Some characteristics I admire in the people I listed:
Confidence  
Connection  
Spiritual  
Strong Faith  
Walking her Talk   
Energetic  
Smart  
Helpful  
Teacher  
Intuitive  
Joyful  
Exuberant 
Supportive  
Independent  
Creative  
Frequently In Tune with Source  
Understanding Energy  
Uplifter
Wayshower  
Lightbringer  
Growing  
Mentor    
Compassionate  
Self-compassionate  
Honest  
Professional  
Trustworthy 
Reliable  

Guess what!

You cannot see anything in another person unless it also exists in you!
Own it! Everything you wrote on the list of what you admire in these people, already exists within you!

And Guess what!

You know all those traits that BUG the crap outta you in other people? Yep. We have to own those too.

The world is a mirror. It reflects to us what we embody.

Grow on!

When you find yourself annoyed with someone’s behavior, ask yourself: When have I behaved that way?
Is this a behavior/characteristic that I want to embody?
Moving forward, how will I choose to respond in similar situations?

I highly encourage my clients to make that list of people they admire and the qualities they find admirable in them. Take the time to own those qualities! Make the list and keep it handy.

When you feel less than confident, or feel self-doubt creeping in, take it out and look in the mirror.

If you find that you “beat yourself up” for what you see in the mirror, you are not alone! This is something I help my clients with all the time. Sometimes it’s hard to own what we see in our reflection. If this sounds like you, and you’d like some help sorting it out, coaching might be right for you! Contact me at cyndicombs@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a phone chat to see if I can help.

A Crucial Key to Reaching our Goals

From Rachel Hollis in Girl, Wash Your Face: “When you boil it down, that’s the heart of the problem with my father. He couldn’t understand what to do with a small child, let alone a girl. Since he didn’t understand me, he often unintentionally muted the parts of me that made him uncomfortable.”

A million times I have revisited a moment from when I was 5 years old.  I had been dancing all day, exploring my new found love for music and movement.  I waited excitedly for my father to come home so I could show him how well I danced, because I knew without question that dancing was something I did really well!  I LOVED the way I felt when I moved my body, and I loved the way the music made me feel, and I was one with the Universe and all things when I danced!  I couldn’t wait to share that feeling with him.

My father’s reaction after my one-song recital was, “I guess that will be OK when you’re old enough.”

All I heard was, “You’re not enough.”  I might be enough one day in an OK sort of way, but NOW, in this present moment, I am not enough.

After reading Rachel Hollis, I realize that my dancing made my father uncomfortable.  At five years old, my radiant light shown brightly, and my father marginalized me and made me doubt, because he could – in NO way – relate to my exuberant joy.  

This was a man who angered easily when I didn’t meet the conditions he thought appropriate for a child.  But WHAT was “appropriate” wasn’t defined, and therefore I was always guessing how to behave, trying on new masks I hoped might please him enough to get him to love me, or show affection, or at least set down his beer.  The one mask I dared not wear was Authentic Cindy (I didn’t spell it Cyndi back then) because he had already shown me how displeased he was with, and how unloveable and unworthy of love was Authentic Cindy. 

I learned this because every time I was truly, authentically, exuberantly me, the message I received was vehemently “don’t be that.”  (*Please see side note below.)

The problem with suppressing the authentic self  is that once we realize we can only be truly happy living as our authentic self, it may be hard to recall our authentic self.  It is hidden, buried deep beneath a pile of discarded masks that didn’t fit and didn’t attract the unconditional love we were hoping for.

Unconditional love is what we all seek.  So we bend ourselves like pretzels to meet conditions that might make us lovable in the eyes of others.

The problem with suppressing the authentic self  is that once we realize we can only be truly happy living as our authentic self, it may be fucking SCARY as hell to step back into the authentic self – the role we were born to play.  Because so much energy has been spent trying NOT to be that.  So many thoughts have accumulated telling us that ‘who we truly are’ is unacceptable, unloveable or unworthy.  

Reframing these thoughts will take time, but there may not be anything more important we can do to reach our goals. 

Without the element of self-love, goals for self-care are fruitless. 
We give up making healthy improvements because we believe we’re unworthy or unimportant, or whatever other limiting belief we have learned and integrated.

Reframing these thoughts will take practice but it’s crucial.  I schedule time each day to think my new improved thoughts.  I spent YEARS practicing old thinking patterns, so changing those patterns now takes practice to form new neural pathways.

Reframing these thoughts may require therapy. I certainly needed one-on-one help to see that changing my thoughts about myself was essential to reclaiming the authentic me that I was born to be. A good therapist or counselor can be immensely helpful at restoring self-love and self-care to healthy levels.

I am wild and audacious and loud.  My authentic self is fearless and fails forward without regret.  She is filled with joy that spills out naturally and noisily.

I am done living small because it might make others uncomfortable.  I am done wearing masks to get the approval of others.  Because If I cannot live the full, expansive version of me that I came here to be, then that makes ME uncomfortable.  I will pursue my passions and I will shine my light, and I will help others remember the light inside themselves.

If we want unconditional love (and we do!) then we must love ourselves unconditionally in all our flawsomeness.  We must love the darkness and the light.  We must love our flaws, missteps, and failures and feel entirely worthy despite those perceptions!

Unconditional love starts on the inside.

If we change to gain the approval of others, we will never love ourselves unconditionally.  When we love ourselves every day in all conditions, we don’t need the fucking approval of others.  And when we truly feel love for ourselves no matter what, that is what the world reflects back to us!  

We can stick to our healthy intentions and reach our goals because we know our own value and deeply accept our self-worth.  More people see our authentic, confident selves, and are drawn to our energy and inspired to love themselves unconditionally!

And isn’t THAT what we want from life?  To live deeper self-love, greater confidence, and absolute worthiness while inspiring our fellows to deeper self-love, greater confidence, and absolute worthiness?

I believe it’s what we all want at our core.

Grow on!

What parts of yourself do you mute so that others are not uncomfortable?
What are you telling yourself about that muted part?
What will change for you when you live the life you were born to live?
On a scale of 1 to 10, how much self love do you currently have?
(1 is low and 10 is LOTS)
What will it take to get that to a 10?

*side note – My father was not an bad person.  He was just doing the best he could with what he had to work with.  I hold no resentments for his behavior and understand that those experiences helped shaped me into the AWESOME human being I am today.

DITCH the New Year’s Resolutions!

I am not suggesting that we give up our goals.  Goals are crucial to creating the life we dream of living.  They give destination to the intentions that drive us, and the values that guide us.

Goal = destination.
Intention = driver.
Values = navigation.

All three are crucial when it comes to guiding our lives, so when I suggest that we ditch the new year’s resolutions, it’s not because goals aren’t important, it’s because BIG goals often feel overwhelming or unobtainable.

Daily intentions on the other hand are amazing tools, and weekly and monthly resolutions can also be super helpful because human beings have amazingly short attention spans.

Daily Intentions vs. New Year’s Resolutions

Let’s use one of the most popular new year’s resolutions as an example.  A very large number of people will resolve to lose weight in 2020.  I like to reframe that goal as health improvement through weight reduction, so let’s look at weight reduction as our goal.  

Example Woman wants to reduce her body weight by 40 pounds. 
If she simply uses “I am going to lose 40 pounds” as the New Year’s resolution, statistics suggest that she has an 8% chance of success.  Anyone who has tried to reduce their body weight knows how much effort it can take to drop just 5 pounds.  The full goal can be too big and too non-specific to provide the motivation required over the long term.  If losing 40 pounds is the goal, then seeing that first two or three pounds fall away seems insignificant, when really it’s a HUGE big deal that can be celebrated as the first milestone, and used as a foundation upon which the rest of the goal can be built!

If, on the other hand, Example Woman sets a goal to lose two pounds this week, and supports that goal with daily intentions that align to that goal, her chances of success grow exponentially.  For example, her daily intention might be to avoid desserts and move her body for 20 minutes every day.  Or maybe she chooses to focus her intention on walking 12,000 steps each day, and eating a healthy green salad with dinner instead of buttery potatoes or french fries.  Maybe she’ll choose to simply stop snacking after dinner for 6 nights this week and give up sugary drinks.  Each of these small goals aligns with the bigger, overall goal, and each of them is easier to focus on, and easier to achieve.

Example Woman has three possible outcomes:
1) She reached her goal and has a foundation of success and confidence to motivate her forward. 
2) She achieved partial success and can make small adjustments to do more of what worked and resonated for her, while doing less of what she didn’t enjoy or didn’t seem as effective. 
3) She made no movement toward her goal in which case it is obvious that what she did this week didn’t create the results she wants, so she can adjust the plan to try something different next week.

This process allows more space to review what is being achieved, which pieces of the process are creating the results we crave, which pieces of the process we enjoy (and therefore will be more likely to continue), and which pieces we do not enjoy (and therefore may want to find a different perspective from which to view it, or a different way to approach it entirely.)

Every time we reach that small daily or weekly goal, we’re building confidence in ourselves and our ability to create what we want to create.  Every time we stick to our intentions, even when we don’t feel like it, we build confidence that we can depend on ourselves.  We create the evidence that we always follow through, that we will do something when we say we will.  Our self-esteem grows as we walk our talk and reach our goal.

You know that picture you have in your mind of you standing at whatever finish line you aspire to?  The picture you imagine of you living the results you want to live – whether it’s a novel you are writing and want to publish, or the optimally-functioning, healthy body you are creating & maintaining, or that new language in which you wish to be fluent. You CRUSHING it. You thriving and prospering and happy. Yes, THAT picture.  Take a minute and really SEE it in your mind.  Allow yourself to feel the emotions that will flood you in that moment of triumph. 

The difference between living that picture and having it remain an unfulfilled dream is in how we map our route to get there. For most of us, taking a million baby steps will get us to the BIG goal faster than trying to arrive in one or two giant leaps. 

When  Example Woman reaches her goal of eating a salad daily and increasing her activity level, she can count herself successful even if the number on the scale hasn’t changed yet!  There are myriad factors that contribute to health improvements and weight reduction and they are NOT the same for everyone, so if the goal is to change that number on the scale, and that’s the only marker being used, it can be REALLY frustrating for Example Woman “A” if Example Woman “B” is doing the same things but getting different results just because of her genetics, or the part of her cycle she’s in, or the amount of water she is drinking.

Let the weekly goals be specific and achievable.  We get bonus points if we can make them specific, achievable and FUN! Thinking that physical activity needs to be unenjoyable is a very limiting belief! Open your mind to the infinite possibilities available to us! Make a resolution to try one new activity this week that engages your body.

So ditch the year-long resolutions in favor of short-distance goals paired with daily intentions that support those. You’ve GOT this.  I believe in you.  If I can improve my life one step at a time, anyone can do it.  I believe in us!

Grow on!

What is ONE healthy new habit that you could start doing each day?
(twenty minute walk, more leafy greens, drink water every hour, floss twice, positive affirmations, meditation, the list is endless)
What will change for you when this new activity is a habit?   
What is one habit you could quit today that would have the biggest impact on your health and well-being?

(using tobacco, drinking soda, eating sugar, being sedentary, drinking alcohol, and nail biting are a few that yield quick benefits when released)
What will change for you without this habit?
How much money will you save?

Gremlins on Horseback

Let’s use “horse” as an analogy for whatever new behavior you are trying to integrate into your life.

Every time we try a new “horse” our gremlins get their knickers in a twist.  They HATE letting us outside our comfort zones.  So when we try something new and we fall off the horse, our gremlins grasp the opportunity to kick us while we’re down.  And sometime’s that’s just enough to keep us from climbing back on the horse.  So I am here to reassure you.

Get back on the damn horse! 

It builds confidence and it lets the gremlins know you’re serious about eating healthy, or drinking less, or whatever your particular horse is right now.  It’s OK to fall off the horse!  If you’re a human being, then it’s positively NORMAL to fall off the horse during the holidays.  Most of us revert to practiced behaviors over new ones in times of stress, and there seems to be plenty of perceived stress around finances and family gatherings at the end of the year.

It’s OK.  But don’t let one slip (or a series of them) keep you off the horse!  Our gremlins tell us that we failed because this path was not meant for us, or that we are doomed to fail no matter what, so “why bother?”  

But if it’s something you want, and maybe have been wanting for awhile, then get back on the horse!  

Ask yourself why you fell.  What triggered you to fall off the horse?  What tools might help when that trigger arises in the future?  It’s going to come up again, so what can you choose to do differently next time?

And maybe we stay on the horse a while, and then we get thrown again.  What can we do then?

Get back on the damn horse.  

Research horseback riding.  Get a riding coach.  Read books about how others succeeded in riding this particular horse.  But don’t give up, and don’t listen to the gremlins when they tell you to stay down, never mind, and just forget about it.  Because you deserve to have it and you are capable of creating it!

Christmas visits with family, and holiday celebrations are going to kick a lot of peoples’ well-laid plans in the dirt.  It’s OK.  You’ve GOT this!

Just get back on the horse.