Remembering Verla

My favorite aunt transitioned out of this life last month.  

(Fuck you COVID!)

Verla & Daniel

I began pondering life, death, and the overwhelming relief of ascension while she was sick and in the hospital, which is where last week’s blog post, Gravity vs. Lightness of Being came from.

I know she’s not gone.  I truly believe we are all eternal, and every time I am connecting to my highest vibration – unconditional Love – I have access to Verla right here and now.  These thoughts ease my heart, but does that mean I don’t feel sad?  

Fuck. No.

I miss Verla.  I am sad that one of the most positive influences of my life is physically absent.  One of my sources for unconditional love is less accessible to me.  I am still fully supported by the Universe, but for the moment I feel like someone stole one of the legs off the chair I am sitting in.  Balance takes effort, and I occasionally hit the floor.  

(And it is nobody’s business but mine, how long I lie on the floor eating Hershey bars before I get back up!)

Just because I am able to relax into uncertainty and embrace the eternalness of myself, and the eternalness of Verla, does not mean I am not angry at fucking covid, and hurting from loss – of course I am! 

I’m beautifully human that way, and feel the entire spectrum of emotions available  to me.

But my beliefs hold me up, so that my grief cannot drown me.  When I feel I’m going under, my beliefs rise like the life preserver they are to save my ass.  

In order to help transform my grief, I decided to share some stories of Verla here.  After all, our stories are what carry us after death.  

Cyndi, Patty, K Lynn, Jan, & Laura, with Verla front and center.

I met my aunt Verla when I was 6 months old.  She took me in her arms and called me Tuffy Duck.  I took to her like a second mother, and we were close my entire life despite how many miles lay between us.


When Grandma bought my sister and I our first bicycle, Verla drove the five of us to Des Moines – Verla, Grandma, Mom, Laura & me – five incredible women. 

We got the bike at Sears, and before we could push it to the front door, Laura and I started arguing – the way sisters will – about who would get to ride it first.  Mom and Grandma tried to stop the argument, but Verla mounted the bike, training wheels and all, and peddled right out the front door of Sears, assuring that she got to ride it first.  


In 1977, Mom took us to visit Verla in Baton Rouge, and we all went to the hottest movie released that summer, Star Wars: A New Hope.  None of us had ever seen anything like it.  Thus began my love affair with Han Solo (and – let’s just admit it – Harrison Ford), the Rebel Alliance, and the Evil Empire.  Three years later, Verla was in Iowa and took Laura and me to see The Empire Strikes Back.  I still love the Star Wars Universe, and remember fondly attending the first two movies with Verla, and calling her after viewing the third to revel in the triumph of the Endor Moon.


A couple of years ago, Verla broke her leg.  After more than a year of being mostly immobile and trying to save the leg, she chose to have it amputated above her knee.  I have never seen anyone as positive as Verla in the face of such a challenging recovery.  She called her leg stumpy, or sometimes Bob, and threatened to tattoo a smiley face on the end of it.  She joked with the techs who were making her prosthesis that she would like to have a pogo stick. 

She was a wonderful example of not sweating the small stuff, and apparently to Verla, losing a leg is small stuff, cause it sure didn’t dampen her spirit.  One of her church friends said Verla had fantastic sass, a lively spirit, a cutting wit, and a heart of gold.  I would have to agree on all counts.  


Mom, Verla & Uncle John

Verla was smart, funny, and full of life.  She was easy to talk to and put people at ease.  She loved Willie Nelson, and my uncle John.  She loved my mother in the way that only a fierce, protective sibling can – deeply and without condition – the same way she loved me and my sister, and her entire family.

She called me on her last day to tell me she was flying out.  I thanked her for all she had been to me, and all the love she had shared.  I assured her that I would continue to communicate with her, and follow her wisdom.  She assured me from her death bed that if I didn’t, she would kick my ass.  

I was her Tuffy duck, and she was mine.  I will think of her whenever I see a turtle, a monarch butterfly, a barking sea lion, or a royal red cardinal.  I will connect with her and listen for her wisdom every time I am plugged into Source energy, because if I don’t, I do not doubt that she will find a way to kick my ass.


My friend, Bekka May Curtis, gave me the most important reminder for which I thank her. “Verla will shine eternally in every universe and every sparkle of sun.” 

It’s true!  I feel it in my soul, and I see her in every sparkle of sun.

Amber with Verla

The intent of my blog is to empower the reader, so write on!

Optional Journal Prompts ~
How much do your beliefs buoy you up, or weigh you down?
What do you believe about the transition called death?
How well is that belief serving you?
What would you like to believe about death?
How do you want to be remembered?

Practice the F Word

What’s the first thing that comes to mind when we hear the word faith?

I know that’s probably not the F word you were expecting from me, but I’m also willing to bet that the first thing that came to mind when I said “faith” was religion.  I know for most of my life that was true for me.  I thought faith was something reserved for the saints and martyrs, something that didn’t pertain to me in any way. Now I understand that faith has nothing to do with religion, that it’s available to every one of us, and essential to cultivate!

In my observation, far more people resonate with doubt than with faith.  Our culture conditions us to doubt.  We doubt our worthiness.  We doubt our capabilities, our decisions, our thought process.  We doubt our readiness, our level of education, our physical attractiveness.  We doubt our inner voice, and our own ability to change our lives.

Then fear moves in.  What if that little voice of doubt is right?  If the voice of doubt is right, I might never find my true love, or my purpose in life.  How can I possibly ever feel confident or successful?  It’s a downward spiral that becomes more powerful the more we feed it with doubt and fear.

Where do doubt and fear come from?

Doubt and fear are emotions.
Emotions only come from one place: our thoughts.

Some might argue that a circumstance or situation can also “cause” fear.  We know this can’t be true, because if a circumstance caused the emotion, it would cause the same emotion in everyone without fail.  But we can take any situation that most people might face with fear, and we will always find some who face that situation with faith.  So it’s not the situation, but the thoughts we choose to think about the situation that create fear or faith. So what’s the magic ingredient that allows someone to choose faith?

Practice.   

A practice breaks through default settings that were curated through our conditioning.

~ Amit West, Spiritual Sandbox

We are practicing fear or faith every day.  We are choosing to worry, or we are choosing to relax into the knowing that we have handled 100% of our challenges so far, and that we will likely handle 100% moving forward.  We can choose to worry, or we can choose to relax into knowing that we don’t need to have all the answers right now, and that when challenges arise, the way through that challenge will also arise.  We can choose to worry about money, or we can trust the Universe to always have our backs no matter what.

Most of our culture is thinking thoughts that are fear-based, so it’s super easy to keep a parade of fear-based thoughts moving through our mind. 

If currently the fear-based thoughts dominate your vibration, it is only because we have been conditioned to practice fear.  To shift from a steady diet of fear-based thoughts to a steady diet of faith-based thoughts simply requires practicing faith.

So how do we build faith through practice?  What do we even practice?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this question.  It’s like asking what food plan is exactly right for every person on the planet.  There isn’t one!  We want to play with several elements to dial in the perfect plan to support each individual.

Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toolbox

If you follow this link to my toolbox, you will find some fabulous fucking tools that have proven useful to many people for connecting to Spirit (Source energy/God).  It’s a running list of resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can build our faith muscle! 

It won’t happen overnight, but it will happen with practice.

We may have been practicing negative programming for decades or longer, so we can be gentle with ourselves as we begin to explore this new way of thinking and being.  When worry pops up, don’t beat yourself up for returning to familiar patterns, bless the Universe for this great opportunity to practice faith.  Then do some deep breathing and pull out the tool box.

Rediscover how fun it is to practice faith, rather than fear!

Grow on!

Click THIS LINK to my Fabulous Fucking Tool Box.

There are LOTS of options, so I invite you to identify the ones that inspire you.  As you’re reading the list, which ideas appeal most, or give you a feeling of lightness in your heart?  Click a few links and check them out.  Play with the tools that you love and leave the rest for someone else.  When you find ones that really resonate, use them frequently.  Post reminders throughout your home to practice until they become habit.

F is for Faith ~ a poem by Cyndi, inspired by Dr. Seuss

F is for Faith
And I don’t feel a smidgen
When I try to tie Faith 
To dogmatic religion.

Faith is not tied
To a God that’s outside me.
Faith is a feeling,
An emotion inside me.

And since I create feelings
With the thoughts that I choose,
Faith is simply a matter
Of curating my views.

I don’t want to think thoughts 
That make me feel crappy.
So I’m choosing thoughts 
That let me feel happy!

I won’t predict failure.
I won’t fret, or lament.
I will point to my success rate
Of one hundred percent!

I’ve come so far!
Of my triumphs take score!
I am worthy and capable
Of ten thousand times more!

And when doubt creeps in
From time to time,
I’ll relax and release,
And just let my light shine!

The Universe carries me
on the vibe I create,
So I’m turning from fear
to be carried in Faith.

Who are We?

How do you define yourself?  

Humans define ourselves in many ways.  We are daughters and sons.  We are siblings and parents. We are ‘our career’ (I am a nurse, teacher, ditch digger) or ‘how we spend our time’ (lazy, productive, creative).
We are caregivers and mentors.  We are exhausted or exuberant.
We define ourselves sometimes as sad, anxious, angry, happy, hopeful, content, or the entire rainbow that falls between shame and pure joy.

But this is not Who we are.  These words describe what we are, or how we are in the moment.  We cannot ‘be’ our emotion.  We experience our emotions, we do not ‘be’ them.

When we define ourselves by these descriptors, what happens when the descriptor no longer applies?  Often women have self-defined as “mother” for decades.  What happens when all the babies leave home?  If you have defined yourself by your career, what happens after retirement?  If you define yourself as wife and homemaker – adore that role, lean into it, and are passionate about it – what happens if the spouse wants a divorce, or departs this earthly plane?

If we feel defined by one of our roles, and that role shifts, does that change who we are?  Of course not!  So if we are not defined by our roles, or how we feel emotionally, then fundamentally speaking: Who are we?  Who are you?  

How do we answer that existential question, “Who am I?”

At our core, we are all One, Source energy, Spirit, God.

This is Truth.

When we remember this Truth we FEEL our connection, we are in the flow – literally flowing Source energy, Spirit, God.  We naturally feel confident, secure, passionate, and joyful.

When we become disconnected from this Truth, (or forget temporarily, which is the human way) our energy plummets because we are no longer flowing as much Source energy.  Our energy can become stagnant and depressed if we do not renew the connection.

If we do not believe – or have never been taught – that we are God/Source energy at our core, the disconnection we feel can leave us anxious, fearful, confused, insecure, and dependent on other people for a sense of validation.  If we depend on others to meet our needs, we can easily become resentful if they don’t fill that role because we haven’t learned to turn inward for love and guidance.

Love and guidance are always ours!

When we remember the Truth of who we are, we can learn to listen for, and trust our inner voice, the voice in our heart, the voice of God.  Tuning to our own inner wisdom clears up confusion.  When we try to follow the wisdom of others, confusion ensues because each of those others may have very different ideas about what is right for us.  And MANY of the people around us are disconnected from the Source at our core, which means their ideas of what is right or wrong can come from fear instead of unconditional love.

Lisa Miller PHD, Founder and Director of the Spirituality Mind Body Institute at Columbia University, and author of The Awakened Brain, does a brilliant job reminding us that we are loved, held, guided, and never alone.  She makes a strong case that spiritual disconnection is the biggest challenge facing our youth today, in this two-hour episode of the Rich Roll podcast. It’s long but well worth our time.

When others try to guide our lives, tell us what to do, or make our choices for us, they teach us that there will always be someone there to tell us what to do, someone wiser than us.  Of course we didn’t learn to turn inward for guidance!  Of course we feel adrift when left on our own! 

If we’ve always had someone else steering our course, how on earth do we decide where to go when they are no longer here to guide us, and no one told us we had infinite wisdom inside us?  How can we possibly trust ourselves to make decisions if we have never grown confidence in this skill?

Won’t it be a lovely gift to give our children (siblings, partners, employees) when we instill in them confidence in their own power?!  Let’s teach them they are connected to Source energy always!  Let’s remind ourselves and everyone that we are each loved, held, and guided always, and that to access infinite wisdom at our core, all we need do is turn inward, and listen!

Grow on!

How much does it resonate for you that you are Source energy having a human experience?  Try saying the following affirmations aloud and see how they feel when you say them:

I am pure spirit.
I am eternal light.
I am Source Energy.
I am God in human form.
I am Divine.
I have access to all I need to know, inside me.

If one or more of these resonate for you, play with saying them several times a day to see what it does for your energy!

If none of these resonate for you, ask yourself how often you feel joyful, resilient, and full of vibrant energy? 
What will change for you when you trust your inner voice? 
What’s it worth to feel confident, worthy, calm, trusting, and joyful?
What’s holding you back?
What will it take to get over that block?


Sometimes coaching can help us get passed that stuck energy. If you’d like to find out if I am the right coach to help you move forward, schedule a free chat at this link to find out!

Practice Flowing Abundance!

Abundance is the law of the universe.

When you go for a walk, try to count all the leaves on all the trees you see.  Count the blades of grass in a single lawn.  The drops of water in a lake, the ocean.  Identify each individual cell in your body.  Count the grains of sand on the beach, or the fish in the sea.

Abundance is EVERYWHERE.  Abundance is ever flowing
from Source energy.  Nature is abundant.  Energy is abundant.

Health is energy.  Money is energy.  

So health and money are also abundant and ever-flowing!

Worry slows the flow.  Anger and resentment slow the flow.  It’s like introducing resistors into your energy flow.  Remove the resistors – the anxiety or fear – and energy flows in abundance.  Health flows to us in abundance.  Money flows to us in abundance.

Abundance is the rule! Unless we slow or stop the flow of energy by introducing those resistors.

And the biggest block to abundance is focussing on ‘scarcity’ or ‘lack’ of abundance.  Thinking we do not have enough (time, money, health, love) whatever can slow the flow of abundance to a trickle, so that it actually appears as though there is scarcity or lack.

Holding on to what we have because we are afraid that’s all we will ever have stops the flow. Whereas generosity and sharing what we have allows the abundance to flow freely to us and through us.

To increase the flow of abundance again is simply a matter of looking at how MUCH is already around us, and appreciating that abundance everywhere we see it.

Nature is abundant.  You are abundant.  Let your abundance flow!

Grow on!

What shifts for you when you laser focus on abundance?  

Read the first paragraph again, and practice it for a week. 
Really LOOK around you and allow yourself to SEE how many berries in a thicket, how many ants in a mound, how many petals on a chrysanthemum, how many hairs on your cat.  

Who the Fuck are You?

As I lay sleeping one morning, I dreamed that someone wrote this comment on my blog:  Who the fuck are you?  You think you have all the answers?  (It went on, but as dreams will do, the edges went blurry.)

I woke with a start. Our subconscious mind speaks to us in dreams, and it was pretty clear that mine had questions.  I went to my journal and wrote, “who the fuck are you?”  After my morning coffee and meditations, I sat to consider the query, and answer my inner critic.

First of all, I don’t have all the answers!

I don’t have ANY fucking answers except for those that are right for me.  I don’t write my blog, or coach my clients because I know what anyone else should do, cause I don’t have a fucking clue what’s right for anyone else.  Answers are something each of us will find inside.  

What I do have is a growing list of options that help me, and countless others, find some of the answers we are seeking.  I say ‘we’ because I am walking this path with you, with my clients.  We are all in this together and the more one of us grows, the more we all grow! 

How do I know?  My clients inspire me daily!

I have as many questions as answers, because I am human.  Our common humanity means that what works for some of us might also work for you.  But that’s something you will need to explore and discover for yourself.

The things I share in my blog include topics that frequently come up while coaching my clients, challenges I am growing through myself, and some of the tools and resources available that have a track record of helping people uncover answers within themselves.

Here are some of the things I have discovered on my journey so far:
Human beings are energy systems. 
Energy attracts like energy. 
The energy we radiate is the energy the world reflects back to us. 
We are all seeking connection.   
We thrive when we are connected to Source and to each other. 
There are many practices that help connect us to Source. 
All experiences are opportunities for growth. 
Each person we meet is our teacher and our student. 
Words have power, so wield them with all the wisdom at your disposal. 
Everyone’s journey is as unique and as valuable as every other journey.  
Life offers neither problems nor challenges, only opportunities. 
Helping people discover Truth empowers them. 
Helping people remember their power empowers me. 
My purpose in life is to uplift the human spirit. 
Treat YOURSELF as you wish to be treated!
Radical self-acceptance is key! 
Powerful people empower others.

How much of this resonates for you?

These are not answers.  They are simply truths I have found helpful in guiding me to my own answers.  If you want to read more along these lines, you can subscribe to my blog here.

So, who the fuck am I?

Well, I’m a huge fan of Esther Hicks and her work with Abraham. I have spent a decade trying to figure out how to incorporate their teachings into my life.  I used to be terrified.  I thought life was happening to me, and desperately wanted to be the creator of my own experience, the way Esther-Abraham told me I could be.

I’ve survived alcoholism, and food addiction.  With the help of some really wonderful therapists, I lifted myself from depression.  I am addicted to joy, and seek pleasure everywhere.  I’m human and have made a LOT of poor choices, but I managed to learn from them, which means they were not mistakes but lessons.  I’ve grown.  I’ve hurt people.  I’ve acted against my own best interest sometimes.  I have absolutely argued for my own limitations.

I feel like I am happy and helpful most of the time.

I’m an entrepreneur, and the mother of two wonderful humans.  I’m an award-winning massage therapist.  I’m a landscape photographer.  I’m a poet, and a dancer, and a recovering perfectionist.  I’m an empowerment coach passionate about helping women remember who they are, and tap into their true power.

“Helping women remember who they are…”

At this point in my writing, I stopped cold and LAUGHED out loud.  That mouth-open, head-back kind of laugh that boils up from my belly and embarrasses my ex-husband.

My subconscious was simply asking me what I ask my clients ALL the time.  “Who ARE you?”

And I answered in much the same way that my clients always do. 
I began with a list of ‘how’ I am and ‘what’ I am. NONE of this is my ‘who.’ Underneath all of WHAT we each are, and HOW we each are, we are all the same Divine Who.

Truth Bomb

I am Source energy.  I am infinite intelligence embodied.  I am wisdom.  I am faith.  I am confidence.  I am vitality.  I am connection.  I am Nature.  I am Goddess/God made flesh.  I am Divine.  I am.

And so are You!

We are all One.  We are all Source.  All of us are One energy at our core.

What does this mean?

Well, for one thing it means that when we are carrying heavy, negative emotions, we can release those.  They don’t belong to our natural vibration.  That is not ‘who’ we are, so we do not have to hang onto those feelings.  Self-doubt, anxiety, worry and fear can be released.  The reason they feel heavy, is because they do NOT resonate (match) with our core energy – the energy of Source (God/Goddess).  The reason these heavy emotions exist is to be our rumble strip on the road of life.

When we own our truth we KNOW without doubt that we are Source, we are wisdom, we are love.  And we feel GOOD.  It resonates, it vibrates in harmony with the vibration at our core.  Heavy feeling emotions do not vibrate in harmony with our core energy.  They create discord within us.  When we feel that discord, it’s simply a gentle reminder that we are moving away from the direction we want to be moving – just like the rumble strip on the highway when we stray too far from the center line.

Humans want to feel GOOD.  We want to stick to the center line of love, light, infinite wisdom, and the TRUTH of Who we are.  When we focus on the truth of Who we are, the Universe brings us MORE into alignment with faith, confidence, vitality and all the other aspects of our true nature.

Who the fuck am I?  I am you.  You are me. 
We are God/Goddess energy here to expand our awareness and grow. 
We are Divine energy in human form.  

Positively Divine!  That’s who I am.  That’s who you are, too.

Grow on!

Who are you? 
How much of the Source energy at your core are you allowing to flow? 
How many heavy-feeling emotions are you experiencing frequently? 
What will it take for you to set them down?  
How much did this article resonate with you? 

I would love to hear your thoughts and feedback in the comments!

If this article resonated for you, please consider subscribing to my blog!  Subscription is FREE and includes hundreds of ideas to energize your life and step into thriving.

Who do you admire most?

I LOVE asking my clients this question!

Who do you admire? Think about the people you know, mentors or teachers you have had in your life, spiritual gurus, political activists, saints, public figures, writers, whoever it is that you admire right now. Make a list of at least 5 people.

Cyndi’s Current List in no particular order…

Esther Hicks
Jill Lebeau
Laura Grooms – my amazing sister
Ana Verzone
Barb Heenan

What do you admire about them?

Make a list of the traits/characteristics you admire about them.

Some characteristics I admire in the people I listed:
Confidence  
Connection  
Spiritual  
Strong Faith  
Walking her Talk   
Energetic  
Smart  
Helpful  
Teacher  
Intuitive  
Joyful  
Exuberant 
Supportive  
Independent  
Creative  
Frequently In Tune with Source  
Understanding Energy  
Uplifter
Wayshower  
Lightbringer  
Growing  
Mentor    
Compassionate  
Self-compassionate  
Honest  
Professional  
Trustworthy 
Reliable  

Guess what!

You cannot see anything in another person unless it also exists in you!
Own it! Everything you wrote on the list of what you admire in these people, already exists within you!

And Guess what!

You know all those traits that BUG the crap outta you in other people? Yep. We have to own those too.

The world is a mirror. It reflects to us what we embody.

Grow on!

When you find yourself annoyed with someone’s behavior, ask yourself: When have I behaved that way?
Is this a behavior/characteristic that I want to embody?
Moving forward, how will I choose to respond in similar situations?

I highly encourage my clients to make that list of people they admire and the qualities they find admirable in them. Take the time to own those qualities! Make the list and keep it handy.

When you feel less than confident, or feel self-doubt creeping in, take it out and look in the mirror.

If you find that you “beat yourself up” for what you see in the mirror, you are not alone! This is something I help my clients with all the time. Sometimes it’s hard to own what we see in our reflection. If this sounds like you, and you’d like some help sorting it out, coaching might be right for you! Contact me at cyndicombs@gmail.com and we’ll schedule a phone chat to see if I can help.

Labor Pains

I follow Tosha Silver, author & astrologer.  Recently I heard her say that during this time of Pluto transit, we are being forced to look at what hasn’t been looked at.  Individually and collectively we must burn away what needs to burn.  We are each facing our shadow.  This country is facing it’s shadow.  What no longer works must collapse during a Pluto transit.

Given what is happening right now in our country and our world, even those least inclined to astrology would have to say that seems pretty spot on.  We can feel the energy of it!

Our world is in the midst of change.  The change is a microscope, bringing our world into sharper focus so we can see what truly serves us, and what we need to release to create improved versions of ourselves and our world.  

Awareness is the first step.

If we are going to give birth to more beautiful versions of ourselves and our world, then we must LOOK at what we have not been willing to look at.  Now is the time to look.  Now is the time to listen.  Because to create our most beautiful life, our next more beautiful world, we want to take an accounting of what will grow with us, and what we must now burn away.  If we refuse to look at the darkness within our lives (self-loathing, shame, masked emotions) or within the structures of our society (systemic racism), it will destroy us from within like a cancer.

Allow what needs to go go.  Allow space for what you want to receive..

So many of my clients and friends are going through this right now!  We are clearing out closets, emptying attics, and organizing garages.  We are taking classes, hiring coaches, and deepening practices.  We are getting rid of what no longer serves us, and weighs us down.

Our country is also taking a deeper look at what must collapse, or be burned away.  The systemic racism, and militarized police forces that have emerged from it do not protect, nor serve us.  It must now be removed so that we can ALL grow into our full potential.

To refuse to look at what needs to be looked at, to deny what we see, or to choose to resist the changes that will heal us, is about as beneficial as resisting labor pains.

We cannot give birth to ourselves anew if we resist the pain of giving birth.

The astrology is demanding rebirth.  

Grow on!

What needs to go? 
What shadow have you been unwilling to look at? 
How ready do you feel to root it out to make space for something you desire? 
Are you in a space of personal reflection and change?
Are you in a space of societal reflection and change?
What obstacles might arise on your path of growth? 
What strategies will you use to overcome those obstacles? 
If you’ve been trying to make a change for awhile now, what will you try differently?

Let the Butterflies Struggle

Butterflies are my favorite symbol of transformation!

Cyndi @ the beach. Photoshop by donnio1.com

A butterfly’s transformation seems magical!  They arrive in the world as a caterpillar, they gorge themselves, snuggle up in a warm blanket for a nap and – TA DA! – emerge as a lithe creature of grace and great beauty.  Spectacular!

They make it look so easy.  Many of us dream of transforming our lives so magically.  If we could just go to sleep, then awake in the life we dream of living, spread our wings, and take flight without effort!

But how effortless is that transformation, really?

The chrysalis stage looks passive, as if the caterpillar falls asleep,
then wakes up beautiful.  But looks can be deceptive.  The caterpillar doesn’t just grow wings and fly.  The wing bits already exist inside
the caterpillar’s body, and to reveal them, the caterpillar digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues. 

For a time, inside the chrysalis, nothing exists except caterpillar soup, an untidy mess, mostly without organization or form. From this chaos, the Universe guides the cells to reorganize, until eventually the soft, wet butterfly is ready to awaken, and emerge into it’s new life. 

Credit: pixabay

The chrysalis does not simply pop open to let the butterfly take flight.  The weak, fragile creature inside is not strong enough to survive, let alone take flight.  So, after surviving the complete destruction of what it previously was, the new butterfly must now struggle to gain strength and confidence in order to give birth to it’s true potential and fly.

Let the Butterfly Struggle

At this stage, when the butterfly is struggling to leave the outdated chrysalis behind, observers might be tempted to help the creature, in their excitement to observe what they know will be a wondrous beauty.  But we need to trust the process.  The process can be painfully slow sometimes, but to release it before it’s ready is to weaken the muscles it needs to develop if it’s ever going to take flight.  The butterfly must struggle to release itself from the chrysalis in order to strengthen it’s wings and fulfill it’s potential.  

We are all butterflies!

In order to live our fullest potential, we must intentionally dissolve the parts of ourselves that are outdated, or no longer beneficial, while integrating the wisdom we gained from them, in order to give birth to a more beautiful version of ourselves.  This process takes courage and it takes faith.  

In darkness I must un-become everything that I am so I may become what I am meant to be.

Without struggles to strengthen our wings (faith) we never gain confidence to fly.  Butterflies who cannot fly are not living their potential, and die without having fulfilled it.

Let your children be butterflies!

We must let our kids struggle.  If we bend over backwards to make sure they don’t fail, we’re not setting them up to succeed.  If we take away their chance to struggle, they have no way to grow confident,
and can become worried, anxious and self-doubtful.  They may even attempt to find their own path, but when they see us jump in at the first sign of struggle, they get the message that even their parents don’t trust them, that struggle is “bad” and something to be avoided always, rather than a normal part of human life from which we learn and grow.

They see us not trust them to try.  They see us not trust them to overcome adversity.  They begin to see themselves as incapable.  Letting them struggle is not harsh or cruel, it shows faith in the process.  It empowers them and strengthens their confidence.

Knowing our parents will support us no matter what is comforting.  Knowing we can succeed on our own and triumph over adversity is crucial. Wanting to protect our children from harm is normal! Choosing to protect them from struggle diminishes their chances of fulfilling their potential.

A parent’s job is not to prevent children from failing.  A parent’s job is to be there for them when things don’t turn out as they had hoped, show them how to find the learning opportunity, and to use that wisdom to grow forward and inform future choices.

In Glennon Doyle’s new book, Untamed, she says, “I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever.”

This resonates so deeply for me!

In order to do this, we must trust the process of transformation.  Everything we need to become our next more beautiful version is inside us now, like the caterpillar’s future wings.

Our job, like the caterpillar, is to dissolve the parts of ourselves, our community, our culture, that no longer serve us, reveal our individual and collective divine beauty, step into our full potential, and fucking fly.

Grow on!

What aspect of yourself have you been holding onto that no longer serves your wellbeing?
How willing are you to allow that aspect to dissolve now?
How will you transform that energy?
What will you use that energy to manifest?
What’s holding you back?

Play in the Sandbox!

It’s no secret that I am a HUGE fan of Jill Lebeau MFT, spiritual psychotherapist, and author.  Jill has now paired with Amit West, Heartpath Guide and Intuitive to create a podcast that will launch
this summer!

I got excited as soon as I heard about it, and am SUPER excited now because they have pre-released two special episodes to help us navigate this time of rebalancing that we are all experiencing.

Jill and Amit invite us to tune in to raise our vibe, get inspired, and hear about the new way to live our greatest potential!  They deliver spectacularly on all three promises.

After I listened to Grounding through the Groundlessness, I felt such inspiration, such enthusiasm for life, such hopefulness, such a tremendous upward shift in my vibration!  I’m usually pretty high vibe anyway, but their podcast left me breathless and excited.

They invite us to rise up and use this time to create a better world within ourselves.  As within, so without.

The thing I like MOST about this podcast, and I love all of it to bits,
is the way they highlight the importance of a daily practice, to connect to our inner light, the Source of our strength and balance.  When we feel out of balance, the counterbalance comes from cultivating a practice that steeps us in high vibe energy.  

Clients ask me ALL the time, “What can I do to maintain my balance during upheaval?”  And my answer is always the same.  Practice daily.

I always maintain a list of fabulous fucking resources for my clients.  When I find some great uplifting resource, I blog about it and add it to my list.  This podcast is going right to the top of my list!

If you are struggling a bit right now, you need to hear this podcast.
If you are struggling a LOT right now, you need to hear this podcast.
If you are flying high and enjoying life right now, you need to hear this podcast!

I kept my post super short this week, so you have time to tune in to Jill and Amit, raise your vibe, get inspired, and hear about the new way to live your greatest potential!

I listened to the second episode, Wakey, Wakey, Wakey. It was more profound and inspiring that Grounding through the Groundlessness.
Everyone needs to hear this podcast!

Grow on!

Listen here.

The Present is a Gift

Be present.  We hear this term everywhere it seems, but what does it mean to “be present”?  Why is it so important?

Being present seems like a simple concept.  We are physically present wherever we stand.  But we’re talking about being mentally and emotionally in the here and now.  That’s a little trickier for most of us.

Humans spend a vast amount of our time reflecting on the past or wondering about the future.  If we’re reveling in a wonderful memory, or excited about an upcoming occasion, then that tiny bit of time travel is beneficial, lifts our spirits, raises our vibration, and attracts MORE of the same kind of energy to us.

However, most of the time when we focus on the past, we focus on memories that bring guilt, regret, shame, or embarrassment.  And often when we focus on our future, it’s the unknown we focus on which brings emotions like worry, anxiety, or doubt, which benefit no one.  It drains our energy, lowers our vibration, and attracts MORE of the same kind of energy to us!

When we are focused fully in the present moment, we cannot simultaneously experience guilt, regret, shame, embarrassment, worry, anxiety, or doubt.  Since all of these emotions are energy drains, it stands to reason that we have more energy when we are fully present.  The gifts of being present are absence of negative emotions, and having more energy to spend on what’s important to you.

Now is powerful.

We cannot take action from the past, nor from the future.  The only place we have to act is now.  Clients often tell me they can’t seem to get anything done, but they come to realize that they are often not being present, and are therefore unavailable to take action.  We lose a lot of time being in the past or future, instead of taking action in our powerful NOW.

So, how do we be here now?

Here’s a simple exercise that can easily guide you to the present moment when you find yourself wandering in time.

Take a deep cleansing breath. (Hell, take two or three, they’re FREE!)
One at a time, take stock of your five basic senses.
Sitting quietly, note just one or two things that you can sense with each.

Here are my examples for this moment in time:

Smell – I smell jasmine flowers and coffee.
Taste – I taste toothpaste.
Touch – I feel the chair beneath me, and the floor under my feet.
Hearing – I hear a clock ticking.
Sight – I see sunlight streaming in the window, and the dog lying in the sun.

Notice how the exercise immediately brings you into the now.

Whenever you catch yourself in your head living from the past or into the future in a way that is not beneficial, you can instantly improve how you feel by checking in with your five senses and being present in the moment.

Grow on!

How often are you in the present moment?
What have you been missing while not being present?
What will change for you when you are more present?
What difference do you notice in your tension/stress levels before and after the above exercise?