Ask Yourself this Important Question

Several times a day, I hear my partner ask our dog, “What do you need?”  Each time telepathy relays the answer and a walk ensues, or lunch, or a rousing game of squeaky ball.  I’m only human, so I started to feel a little resentful toward the dog, and wondered who was looking attentively after my needs.  

Well whose job is that?  (Hint: It’s not my partner’s, and when that’s what I think, I become resentful.)

After a little coaching, I remembered that it’s mine.  It’s my job to be sure my needs are being met.  So I started asking myself,

What do I need right now?

It’s incredible what a difference that little question makes!  Not only are more of my needs being met, but I feel genuinely cared for and supported! 

Crazy, right?

Eighty percent of the time the answer is water, so I hydrate.  Often I just need a few minutes to catch my breath, so I allow myself to sit and breathe.  Can you imagine?! When I need to catch my breath, I just sit and breathe for two minutes instead of feeling frustrated, and resentful that my needs are not being met, as I rush off to do whatever comes next.

It seems so simple, yet how often do we do it?  How often are we checking in with what we need in this moment?  The answer for most of us is not very often because our culture conditions us to think of that as being selfish, and regularly encourages us to put other’s needs before our own.

What we NEED shifts moment to moment and day to day, so it’s not going to be the same every time you ask/answer the question.  And what we need is not always the same as what we want.  We might want coffee to get us through the afternoon at work, but if we ask what we truly need and genuinely listen for the answer, we may find we need a twenty-minute nap, or a ten-minute walk outside, or a cup of herbal tea, or electrolytes.

What would it be like if we asked ourself this question once a day? Twice a day? All day long?  What changes when we ask the question before reaching for a processed snack food?  What will shift if we ask the question all week?

It’s possible we’ll feel more cared for and supported.  It’s possible we’ll feel happier and more relaxed.  We might even have more energy to give to the people and projects we’re passionate about.  Truly tuning in to our body’s needs will reveal deeper wisdom that might be the key to finally reaching our ideal weight.  We won’t know the vast extent of what’s possible until we try!

Grow on!

Ask yourself, “What do I need right now?”

If it’s something simple like rest, water, or a bathroom break, give that to yourself! If it’s something bigger like a new career, you can ask, “what steps do I need to take right now to move in that direction?”


Coaching can help!

I offer the first TWO coaching sessions free of charge so you can see if coaching is right for you, and also see if I’m the right coach for you!  If we’re not a good match, I have a long list of peers to whom I can refer you.  You’ll walk away with at least one action step to move you toward your goal, so you have nothing to lose!  Book your first session HERE.

Enjoy the Moment!

Hello Everyone!

I have been on vacation in Croatia where I enjoyed the weather, the people, the architecture, the food, and every single moment I breathed vacation air.

I didn’t write anything for you this week because I was busy enjoying the moment every chance I got! Now I am home and thinking about all the fun we manifested, and enjoying those moments again! So I invite you to enjoy some of my vacation photos at this link: Cyndi & Jeremy’s Travel Blog.

Enjoy the moments that make you smile!

Everything Happens for a Purpose

I believe this adamantly, but we do NOT always get to know that purpose. It’s an act of faith which I practice whenever humanly possible, so it’s really NICE to have that faith validated clearly. I have an excellent example from recent personal experience!

I’ve been challenged with some nasty diverticulitis symptoms for the entire month of August.  At times it was so bad I feared for my trip to  Croatia this month.  I cursed my weak gut.  I cursed the diverticulitis.
I did not have nice things to say about Kaiser.  I was not in a happy state.  The stories in my head tried to run away with me…

But I practice being in alignment often enough that I knew what to do to start feeling better. Instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” I began asking, “How is this happening for me?

I started bringing myself back into alignment with Source repetitively, over and over again joining with my Source, and doing my best to appreciate all that is happening FOR me.

I allowed myself to slow down and heal.  I canceled massage clients altogether, and took coaching clients via phone rather than face to face.  I hydrated, napped, and focussed on feeling better so I can enjoy that vacation I have been planning for more than a thousand days.

I started to appreciate the situation.

I started to feel appreciative of extra time to rest.  I appreciated having time to read a good book.  I appreciated my naturopath for guiding me in the healing process.  I appreciated the fact that it happened in August and NOT in September.  The wonderful timing meant I had time to heal before traveling!  How awesome is that?  I appreciated the fact that it gave me an opportunity to practice my alignment to Source.

Then I got even bigger evidence that this was happening for my highest good.

If I had been feeling well, I would have gone to see my favorite massage therapist.  I rescheduled hoping I would feel better, but she had to cancel the next appointment because she came down with COVID.  The appointment I canceled due to the diverticulitis would have exposed me to her before she knew she was contagious.

If I did not allow myself to rest and heal, I would have seen one of my coaching clients in person instead of shifting to a phone appointment.  The following week she texted to let me know that she had tested positive for COVID. Shifting to the phone appointment prevented me from being exposed to her before she knew she was contagious.

The Universe fucking adores me.

THANK YOU Universe for the gift of diverticulitis.
THANK YOU for giving me this chance to heal!
THANK YOU for preventing me from possibly getting COVID twice.
THANK YOU for the evidence once again that everything is always working out for me despite what my limited mind can see.

The worst is behind me and I am just feeling better and better from here on out!

I have a whole new appreciation for my gut, and the utmost intention of listening to her, and allowing her to guide me.

I have experiential evidence that PROVES the Universe adores me, and wants me to be fucking happy!

Grow on!

What challenge is happening for you right now?
How many ways can you find to appreciate some aspect of it?

Happy on the Way

How many of us have decided that we will be happy “when…”?

…when I lose weight.
.…when I find true love.
.…when I have a nice house.
.…when I get that great job.
.…when I have lots of money.
.…when I can travel the world.

Many who struggle with weight-reduction believe that if they can just reach their ideal body weight, they will suddenly achieve happiness.  Our culture conditions us to believe that thin, fit people are happier than those who are heavier, and therefore, if we become thinner, we will also be happy.

I cry bullshit!

If we don’t enjoy ourselves along the way, we won’t know how to enjoy ourselves when we arrive. If we don’t practice loving ourselves when we are heavy, we won’t know how to love ourselves when we are thin.

Let’s pretend the goal is simply to ENJOY a vacation.

Happy Hannah enjoys planning the trip, making the reservations, researching the itinerary.  She chooses pricier accommodations with stunning water views, because she values the way it makes her feel.  She enjoys setting aside money each week to grow her dream.  She enjoys thinking about the fun interactions that will happen with friendly people, and the beautiful sights she will see.  She enjoys going to the bank to buy euros, and makes friends enjoying virtual tours in the countries to which she will travel.  She frequently pauses to visualize herself enjoying the adventure.

Kalista Krabapple wants to travel too, but feels stressed out trying to find the cheapest airline ticket.  She worries about whether she will be able to drink the water, or if it will be safe to leave the resort.  She buys a travel bag meant to prevent theft.  She worries about money and decides to get the cheapest rooms even if it’s not quite what she wants, and feels a little resentful that she can’t afford better rooms.  She doesn’t like the way she looks in her swimsuit and decides not to swim while away.  Maybe by her next vacay she’ll finally lose the weight.  What if no one speaks English?

No one is going to blame Kalista for this train of thought!  This is normal human behavior.  Anyone might have any of these thoughts about travel.  

But who is going to enjoy her vacation more?  Is Kalista going to feel relaxed and happy while she’s away?  Or will her worried energy attract more things for her to worry and fuss about while she’s on vacation? 

Hannah has practiced happiness along the way, looking for things to enjoy and appreciate.  What kind of vacation experience is her energy going to attract?  Feeling happy attracts more to feel happy about.

Let’s say someone is looking for their soulmate. 

They know once they have their lover in their arms they will be happy ever after, but often worry their lover may never come.  “Why haven’t
I met them yet?  What if I never meet them? What if I am alone forever?”

Instead of allowing room for happiness today, they may project anxious, insecure energy, and settle for the first person who asks them on a date.  Since energy attracts like energy, it’s likely the ‘soulmate’ they settle for will also be anxious and insecure.  What will shift in this scenario if they take time to choose thoughts that allow them to feel happy and confident before their lover arrives?  What kind of energy will they attract then?

Shifting from negative feeling thoughts to positive feeling thoughts is worth the effort, and it takes time.

If my goal is to feel happy with my body (free and confident in my skin), beginning to feel appreciation for my body NOW will get me there more quickly. 

We start feeling free and confident when we start feeling free and confident!

We can choose to start feeling happy now, or after we lose 60 pounds.  The process will still take time.  Let’s say it’s X weeks since it’s different for everyone.  

We can feel happy X weeks from now, or X weeks from the moment we become 60 pounds lighter. Feel the difference?

If this resonates for you, you may be saying, “That makes good sense, but how on earth do I start feeling happy, free, and confident BEFORE
I reach that goal that I am certain will be my greatest joy?”

Fabulous question!  Glad you asked.

In next week’s blog post, I’ll talk about a process called Laddering Thoughts that helps people shift negative-feeling thoughts, gently toward thoughts that are more uplifting, so we can begin to feel lighter, freer, happier, and more confident.

Grow on!

What goal are you waiting to reach before you claim your happiness?
What would shift if you allowed yourself to feel happier NOW?
What are some of the thoughts you think regularly?
Do those thoughts bring you down, or lift you up?
What do you personally have to gain by shifting some of your thoughts?
What do you have to lose?  

Helping people shift thoughts is what I do! 

It’s one of my superpowers.

Coaching helps us shift our thoughts so we can get out of our own way and accomplish whatever we dream. 

If you want to find out if I’m the right coach to help you transform your life from where you are to where you’d like to be, schedule a free chat with me at this link!  I’d love to connect with you, and you’ll walk away with at least one action step to move you toward whatever goal you want to achieve.  What do you have to lose? 

Say “Good-Bye” to Worry

We cannot change anything until we are aware of it.  In my previous blog post, I talked about cultivating more awareness around what our emotions feel like in our bodies.

The reason we focused on that was so we could learn to become aware of our emotions.  At the magical moment we do become aware that we are experiencing an emotion – that is the place where our power of choice lies.  

As soon as you are aware that you are experiencing any emotion, ask yourself what thoughts you were thinking, because your thoughts are what cause your emotions.

The Process 

In the moment we become aware of feeling worried, we can identify the thoughts that cause our anxiety.  Once we accept that these thoughts are causing the anxiety, we have the power to choose different thoughts that make us feel differently.  We can continue choosing thoughts that cause us to worry – and who could blame us for choosing worry?  It’s certainly a valid option.  Worry is a familiar, well-worn pathway in our minds.  We’ve chosen the vibration of worry so frequently – in an auto-pilot like way – that some of us forget that we can choose another path.  

If we make the decision to set aside worry whenever possible, to release the weighted burden of worrying thoughts, we can use that moment of awareness to accept responsibility for the thoughts that cause our emotions.  NOT accepting responsibility for our emotions keeps us at the mercy of those emotions, because if we are not responsible for them, we are victim to our emotions, and therefore powerless to transform them.  We feel powerless when we feel we have no choice.

The Magical Moment of Power

  • We become aware (in the moment) that we are experiencing worry.  
  • We accept that the thoughts we are thinking are causing that worry.  
  • THIS is the moment where we can wield the power of choice.

NOW is when we get to choose. We can continue thinking thoughts that worry, or we can decide that we want to create new pathways in our mind.  We deliberately choose thoughts that allow us to feel DIFFERENTLY than the thoughts that cause a vibration of worry!

Awareness leads us back to our power.  Acceptance is the key to wielding our power. Choice is where our power lies.  It’s a process, and it takes practice. 

The more we practice awareness and acceptance, the more we feel empowered to choose, and then we trust the process more, and begin to relax into faith. We begin to understand that we have the power to control our own energy.  We don’t have to take that emotional roller coaster ride which drains us.  Instead we can respond intentionally with all of our energy present.

When we choose our own emotions/energy, by being aware of our thoughts, we can’t help but feel more confident, powerful, and in control!  

Does that mean we’ll never worry again?  Of course not.  But when worry does pop up, we’ll know it’s a choice which we can let go, rather than a burden we must carry indefinitely.  

Grow on!

What are you currently telling yourself about a situation you find worrisome?
Take out a clean sheet of paper and write a new story about the situation that feels LESS worrisome, writing ONLY things that you truly believe. Read that story until your vibration shifts, and then re-write the story again so that it feels even BETTER when you tell it. Repeat as often as needed.

I help people cultivate more awareness every day.  If this is something you’d like help with, click here to schedule a chat and see if coaching is the next right step for you.

Worry is a Choice

Lisa Kaplin writes an amazing blog about leadership, happiness, parenting, relationships, and so much more.  I always learn something new, or see a new perspective.  If you haven’t read her blog before, I highly encourage you to follow this link and give her post, Worry isn’t Love a read.  Lisa’s posts are always brief & uplifting. I thought this passage was particularly brilliant:

“Love, at least to me, is unconditional listening, being fully present, and holding space for the other person. It’s focusing on them, not what I feel when I’m around them. Love is both giving and receiving of unconditional caring and space. None of that sounds like worry to me.”

So if worry does not show love, what does worry do?  What are we getting from worry?  

The voice of worry often arises when something unwanted happens.  We don’t want it to happen again, so a “watcher” arises inside us to watch for any evidence that danger may be approaching.  With our “watcher” on duty, we may feel more secure because we feel that we’ll see the danger coming and be able to avoid it.

Originally we were getting protection or security from the watcher, but now we’re just getting anxiety from constant worry. 

Our worry voice is not trying to make us crazy at 3am, it’s just trying to do it’s job of protecting us, albeit more aggressively than necessary.  All of this can be exhausting!

But what if I told you that worry is a choice?

I know.  Some of you just shut your computer off convinced I am crazy.  Some of you are laughing out loud.  But some of you are going, “Wait. What? I can choose NOT to worry?!”

If our “worry voice” arose to protect us, and made us feel more secure, it makes complete sense that we would choose worry again and again.  We found comfort there – a long time ago.  Now we just choose worry because it’s the familiar, well-worn path that our mind wanders without thinking about where we’re going.

Constant worry is heavy, so if we’d like to set it down in favor of lighter emotions, we need to catch ourselves in the act.  We need to cultivate AWARENESS.  We want to become aware of WHEN we have anxious thoughts, because that is the only moment we could choose something else.  The best way to be aware when worry has arisen, is to first become aware of how YOU feel physically when you have worrisome thoughts.

This can be different for each of us!  Just because anxiety feels like a twist in my solar plexus, doesn’t mean that you and your body experience it that way.  For this reason, I encourage my clients to write down how THEIR BODY feels when they are worried.

Examples might include a twist in the solar plexus, hot cheeks, shaking limbs, sweaty palms, a combination of any of these and others.  Whatever it is for you, catalog the physical vibrations when you “feel” worried.  

Once we define what ‘worried’ feels like to us as individuals, it becomes easy to recognize when those physical vibrations/symptoms begin.  That moment we recognize that physical symptoms of worry are present triggers our awareness that “THIS” is our moment to choose.

Once we are aware, we can choose.
We get to choose worry, or choose something new.

In next week’s blog post, we’ll talk about taking back our power to choose in that magical moment of awareness.

Grow on!

Name the emotion you feel. (Happy, sad, worried, anxious, excited, etc…)
Write down the vibrations you feel in your body when you experience the emotion.
If you can, write down the thought(s) you were thinking directly before you became aware of the vibrations of that emotion.

It’s totally fine to write down the physical vibrations you feel first, and then name the emotion. It’s easier that way for some people.

When I am present, I miss nothing!

My previous blog post, Releasing Travel Anxiety ended like this: 

When I am present in the moment, I miss nothing!
I surrender the entire plan to the all-knowing Universe now.  My only plan is to enjoy the unfolding, to be present, and savor each moment.  Each and every moment is a gift to be opened in amazement!  Even in the airports.  Even on the airplane.  Waiting in line for the ferry.  All of it is a rich, delicious experience of which I intend to savor every beautiful, satisfying, vibe-raising moment.  I fucking LOVE travel!”

We cannot BE present in the moment on vacation, if we have not practiced being present before vacation.

So how do we “be” present?

My favorite exercise to bring myself into the present moment is super simple!

Name three or more things that you sense – right now – with each of your five physical senses.

Name three things I see right now.
Name three things I hear right now.
Name three things I smell right now.
Name three things I can taste right now.
Name three things I can touch right now.

Example from the moment I am writing this: I see books, my computer, my dog. I hear the clock tick, the wind chimes tinkle, the tippy tapping on my keyboard. I smell coffee, ham cooking, and the dog’s blanket. I taste coffee, hints of toothpaste, the memory of ham. 
I feel the floor beneath my feet, the couch supporting my back, Boscoe’s soft fur. 

Boom!  Here and now.  At least for this moment.

How does ‘being present’ release anxiety?

Anxiety is feeling worried about the future.  We cannot be in the present and the future at the same time, so when we bring ourselves into the present moment any time we feel anxious, the anxiety releases automatically.

Being present also releases us from guilt because guilt is a feeling of regret about the past.  We only feel guilt when reliving a past moment in our minds.  Again, by playing with the exercise above, we can come back to the present, and the guilt cannot exist in present moment.

Cool, huh?!

When we can be present with ourselves, we open to our intuition, to Universal guidance. How could we ever miss anything that is meant for us?  We can’t!
We will be guided to the right place and people, at the exact right time.

Grow on!

What’s happening in your present moment?
What happens if you try the exercise when you feel anxious about something?

Raise the Fucking Vibe

When we struggle, we sometimes forget to reach for the tools that help us most. Example: We plan to go to yoga after work, but we have a challenging day and decide to sit on the couch and eat junk food instead of doing the yoga thing. Very NORMAL human behavior. But how helpful is it?

Yoga helps us relax and release stress. It raises our vibration. Eating on the couch actually depresses our energy (sugar and wheat do that, as do other types of junk foods). Our energy goes to an even lower vibration if we decide to beat ourselves up for eating the junk food instead of going to yoga.

All of my blog posts – EVERY tool that I offer, every growth-inducing question I pose – are designed to help YOU identify what raises your vibe.

Vibe-Raising Tools

FIND them. Make a list of ones that work for you. Use them every day, but especially when you don’t want to!

Spiritual Sandbox

I know I have recommended this one before, but it raised my vibration so HIGH this morning, I decided maybe someone needed the reminder that Jill Lebeau and Amit West have a podcast that will blow your mind and open your heart.

The Essentials of Trust was the episode that spoke to me today.

Grow on!

Click the link to my toolbox, check out the tools that interest you, and keep the ones that raise your fucking vibe!
Cyndi’s Toolbox

Recipe for Happiness

We don’t find happiness. We create it.

In order to create it, we gotta WANT it and we gotta PRACTICE it.

We gotta go after it like our happiness depends on it, cause guess what?

We practice fear a LOT!  Every day, if we pay attention to the news or social media in an unfiltered way, we are constantly bombarded with messages of what we should fear.  We should fear those at the border, those whose skin tone or faith is different, those who have a different political viewpoint.  We should fear the virus.  We should fear the vaccine.  We should fear black, blue, white, and brown.  

Murder bees. Global warming. Government. Lack of government. Scam artists. Certain neighborhoods or grocery stores.  Corporations. Small business. Drug addicts.  For-profit health care.  Insurance companies. IRS.  The list of what media tells us we should fear is very long and perpetually invasive.  So human beings are constantly practicing fear. 

Is it any wonder that so many of us experience anxiety?  We are looking for danger at every step, or planning how to avoid it, or keep our kids from harm.  We pass our fears to them in the hopes of keeping them vigilant and safe, but what they learn is not to trust themselves or their world.  Anxious, fear-filled adults raise anxious, fearful kids.

My point here is that many people practice fear daily.  Our fear and anxiety muscles are usually strong and over-developed.  We can build our happiness muscle in exactly the same way; by repetitively exposing ourselves to messages that allow us to experience a feeling of joy or hopefulness.

Happiness takes practice – every day!  

Different things make different people happy, so there is no cookie-cutter path to happiness.  No one can tell you to do XYZ, and you’ll find happiness. Each of us gets to curate our own set of tools that raises our vibration.  Having many tools at our disposal is helpful because we are such fluid creatures with constantly changing tastes and desires.

Access Cyndi’s Toolbox

Each of us creates our own unique path to happiness, but many of the tools that have worked for others before us, can also work for us. So I keep a long list of these tools at my fingertips, so I have options and don’t ever get bored using the same happiness tool every day.  Sometimes I like to listen to Abraham recordings on YouTube.  Other times, grabbing an inspirational book off my shelf is just right.  For many people staying active is essential to a happy vibration.  It’s totally cool to look at what lifts others and try it for ourselves, so I like to share the link to my toolbox.  If one of the tools works for you, save it in YOUR spiritual toolbox and savor it often.  If it doesn’t ring your bells, let it go.

The thing is – whatever it is – we gotta find the things that LIFT us, and we gotta use them daily to counteract the years and decades of practiced fear.  Limiting the input of fear by digesting less media is great, but nothing is going to build momentum for a happier life like practicing happiness daily, and each of us gets to choose our own recipe for happiness according to our own tastes.

A New Tool to Use or Not

One of the things I’ve enjoyed daily for several years now is repeating Tosha Silver’s Abundance Prayer.  It always lifts my vibe, and finances have become much more abundant since I began practicing it regularly!  Recently I recorded the Abundance Prayer so that I could listen to it frequently.  One of my readers asked me to share, and since I love to help you raise your vibe, here it is.

Abundance Prayer Link

Practicing happiness is FUN!

If you currently feel that you don’t have time for your own happiness, or that focussing on your own happiness makes you selfish, it’s possible that some coaching could help!  Contact me HERE to schedule a FREE coaching session and walk away with at least one actionable step to move you toward your goal.

If you don’t make time to create happiness in your life, who will?

Grow on!

Make a quick list of five to ten things that you love doing.
Check out my toolbox to see if any of my tools inspire you.
Get out your calendar and schedule time to focus on raising your vibration.

Freeing Ourselves from Fear

Fear is a learned behavior, and one that humans practice ceaselessly.  The more we practice fear, the more anxious, insecure, and fearful we feel.  The more anxious, insecure, and fearful we feel, the more willing we are to buy whatever makes us feel safer, or more secure. The more anxious, insecure, and fearful we feel, the more willing we are to give up pieces of our freedom to feel safer, or more secure.

Can we ever be truly free when living in fear? 
Feel free to disagree, but I don’t think so.

The good news is that fear is a learned behavior!  

If we learned it, we can unlearn it.  We learned fear through repetition of fear-filled, worrisome thoughts.  We can learn faith, and feel more calm, through repetition of calming thoughts that build faith – not religious faith, but faith in yourself.  Faith that no matter what else happens, at least you can control your own energy, your own response to circumstances.

Now, there is no blog post anywhere that will move you from fear to faith, because like fear, faith requires daily practice over time.  That practice will take many different forms for different people, but one of the best ways I have observed is practicing affirmations.

Create or adopt positive statements you believe and repeat them frequently when it feels good to do so.  If the affirmation does not feel good when you say it, it’s not the right affirmation for your situation.

Affirmations are a simple tool that help millions of people feel better.

Guidelines for selecting or creating affirmations that work:

It must feel true.
Keep it simple.
Repeat it frequently
– as often as you remember it and it feels good.
Write it down and read it frequently. You may notice that I like to put my on pretty photos because the photos also help raise my vibe, but sticky notes around the house can be equally effective!

When you become aware that you are experiencing doubt, or fearful thoughts, take a deep breath, and remind yourself that nothing has gone wrong, your mind has simply reverted to the old practice and that’s to be expected!  With more practice of positive-feeling affirmations, the fear and anxiety visit less and less frequently.

Freeing our minds from fear will take more than one tool, more than just affirmations. But affirmations feel good, they’re free, and it’s a really easy first step for lots of people.

Grow on!

What affirmation will help you move from where you are to where you would love to be?
Here is a short list of links to long lists of affirmations to get you started:

Prosperity & Abundance
Health & Wellness
Raise the Vibe
Inspired by Abraham
Inspired by Florence Scovel Shinn