Many unwanted symptoms we experience are rooted in the foods we eat. What kind of symptoms? All of these and more:
• compulsive overeating • excess weight • sugar cravings • low energy • poor sleep quality • irregular BM (loose/solid) • gas, bloating, gut issues • trouble with digestion • brain fog • lack of motivation • acne, rashes, rosacea • joint pain & back pain • headaches • phlegm or congestion • acid reflux or heartburn • difficulty losing weight • night sweats
If the foods we eat are causing unwanted symptoms, and we want to get relief from those symptoms, we need to stop eating the food causing the symptoms.
Sounds simple enough, but how do we decide which foods are causing the symptoms?
Elimination diets are a cheap, simple way to experiment with releasing foods or groups of foods that we suspect may be causing symptoms to see how those symptoms change or improve. Then we reintroduce the food to see if the symptoms return. Experience shows that an elimination diet is one of the best tools for identifying food issues, and is very safe, provided a variety of foods are eaten to supply essential nutrients.
Which Foods are Suspect?
I advise starting by releasing foods that you have noticed cause you some adverse symptom, or create a phlegmy response in your body. Does a particular food create a headache, or cause trouble with digestion? Do you always break out after eating a certain nut? Tune in to your own body wisdom and pay attention as you prepare for the release of suspect foods.
Foods that everyone might suspect for a variety of reasons include dairy, wheat, corn, soy, peanuts, eggs and shellfish. These foods have been shown to be highly irritating in large numbers of humans.
Make a list of foods you are ready to release and, so you’re not solely focussed on what you’re giving up, make a list of the abundant foods you plan to INCLUDE as well.
Eat only the foods on the “include” list for a period of two to four weeks. Then reintroduce one food at a time (at least 4 days apart) to see which foods cause the reaction.
Then you are free to create a healthy eating plan that serves your individual needs based on foods to which you are not sensitive.
This is a very simple way to see which foods create symptoms you’d rather not have, but it’s not always easy to release foods we enjoy, or are in the habit of eating regularly. If you want to play with releasing foods in community with other women who are also playing with releasing foods, in an elimination diet playground designed to fully support you as you transform your relationship with food, click THIS LINK for complete details.
Mystery Symptoms
I frequently hear from clients that their set of symptoms have a name, but the doctor has no idea of the cause, or what to do to relieve those symptoms except prescribe drugs with innumerable effects on health.
Elimination diets can often provide evidence of at least part of the problem, because inflammation is one of the first symptoms for which we get relief when we release foods to which we are sensitive or allergic. Inflammation causes many unwanted symptoms, and those it doesn’t cause, it intensifies.
I truly hope that if you are experiencing unwanted symptoms, you will experiment with some form of elimination diet to see if you get rapid RELIEF by simply releasing one or two problem foods.
It may just be the miracle you’ve been looking for!
Grow on!
What foods do you suspect may be causing unwanted symptoms? What processed foods do you crave? Which unwanted symptoms do you experience that might be tied to food?
Suffering with unwanted symptoms, and struggling with compulsive eating SUCKS.
I know this first hand, because I’ve been through it.
I understand what it is to struggle with food, and to loathe myself for what I thought was lack of willpower. When I stopped over drinking, I ran right to sugar and picked up my addictive behaviors all over again. I felt like my appetite was out of control!
I tried fasting, starving, vegetarian, vegan, South Beach, Atkins, high fat, fat-free, high-carb, no carb, anything to try and control my appetite, and lose weight. In between diets I would binge eat sugary sweets, and live on carbs and cheese.
I felt powerful any time I was controlling my weight, and beat the hell out of myself when I ate off plan, or any time I ate too much, which was frequently. My journal was saturated with self-loathing.
Unwanted symptoms baffled my doctors, left me exhausted and in pain. I was tired all the time and couldn’t figure out where my energy went! What I didn’t understand at the time was that inflammation was wreaking havoc with my body.
The inflammation was caused by overeating sugary sweets, and other foods that my body did not process well, but in all the times I was seen for my mysterious symptoms, not one medical doctor ever even asked me what I was eating.
I knew I wasn’t eating healthy foods, but the fact that not one doctor looked at my food intake lead me to believe that food was NOT connected to my symptoms!
I felt like I was spinning out of control, like I was powerless over food, and would never figure it out!
Then I found a naturopath who taught me to identify and release foods, that were depleting my energy. I also hired a coach who helped me identify and release behaviors that were depleting my energy, and guess what?!
I got RELIEF!
I felt better immediately.
My intestinal symptoms disappeared.
The eczema that plagued me went away.
The horrible night sweats vanished.
My energy increased tremendously.
I started sleeping better.
I dropped 50 lb in 5 months without ever going to a gym, or doing a single workout!
THAT’s when I decided that I want to help other women who are struggling with food, and unwanted symptoms the way I have!
Then I went on to study Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology Coaching at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating. NOW it is my pleasure, my passion, and my purpose to help other women who are struggling create RELIEF in their lives!
Knowing how awful it feels to struggle with food, and knowing how much shame is attached to constantly seeing myself as a failure with food and health is the reason I coach. I don’t ever want any woman to have to feel that shitty, if it’s possible for me to help her move from exhausted to energized!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.
We are not weak willed. We are not broken. There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.
This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!
This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.
Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.
Overeating is rooted in…
The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.
Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.
STRESS
The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.
FAST EATING
Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING
Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel.
When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?
MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS
Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive. Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut
have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
are vital to reproductive function. Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.
There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.
LOW NUTRIENT FOODS
If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.
MEAL SKIPPING
Appetite is our friend. Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.
Eating when hungry = Life.
Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.
If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.
It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.
Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!
The Kindness Key
Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!
Kindness First! Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time.
We feel bad, we eat food,we feel better.
It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.
When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself!
When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.
When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.
Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle.
We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.
The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.
I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).
The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively.
This is how we break the cycle.
NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.
Kindness unlocks Curiosity!
Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!
We can ask questions like:
What triggered the overeating?
What thought was I thinking?
What emotion was I trying to soothe?
What was I really hungry for?
What would have been most nourishing for me?
How can I soothe myself other than with food?
Curiosity increases our Awareness!
We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.
Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.
Grow on!
If you are overeating, you are not alone.
Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help. Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?
I’m glad you asked!
While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.
Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.
MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”
A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body. MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.
This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.
So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?
Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:
Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:
“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo
“After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco
“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn. She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo
“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole
Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to: – Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating. – Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors. – Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body. – Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next. – Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
What do you have to lose?
Grow on!
If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat to see if I’m the right coach for you!
Remember last week’s blog post when I talked about stress, the effects of stress on our body, and the difference between life stress and self-chosen stress?
This week I want to talk about one self-chosen stressor in particular. It’s insidious in our culture, and most of us are not even aware that it is a stressor!
Are you a fast eater, a slow eater, or a moderately paced eater?
Ninety percent of people asked this question answered, “fast”. And guess what? Human biology interprets eating fast as being stressed.
Remember, we saw that constant low-level stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposits at midsection
increased inflammation
gut microbiome die off
nutrient wasting
decreased energy
appetite deregulation
desensitivity to pleasure
decreased metabolism
decreased Thyroid function
decreased oxygen uptake
poor sleep
Imagine how this affects us if we have a weight challenge, or body transformation goal! Even if we are not pursuing a food and body goal, none of these optimizes our health. It makes complete sense that we want to reduce stress whenever possible.
If you answered that you are a “fast” or even “moderately paced” eater, then you have now identified a stressor that you can choose to get rid of! Reducing stress always has positive benefits, so why wouldn’t we put some effort into slowing down with our food?
The main reason is because eating fast is a habit.
Generally, until someone asks us this question, we never even consider our eating speed. In fact part of the problem is that many of us never even consider our food!
We may skip breakfast or grab a pastry at the coffee shop, then eat lunch at the desk or running between clients, then grab some take out on the way home for dinner. If any of these behaviors sound familiar, then you have a golden opportunity to release some of the stress that you carry!
(Slowing down with food is also a first step in releasing patterns of bingeing, after-dinner eating, and overeating.)
If you are interested in trying to break the habit of eating fast, you have much to gain! So what do you have to lose (besides stress)?
Here are some other symptoms caused or exacerbated by fast eating which can also diminish or go away completely:
Eating fast is a habit. Eating more slowly requires some effort because we are creating a new habit, and new habits take time. This is NOT about counting bites. This is about relaxing with food and increasing pleasure! This is about enjoying our mealtimes and boosting happiness. This is about being present, becoming aware & listening to our body.
Fast eating is a habit.
Slow eating is a habit worth cultivating.
Grow on!
If you want to release the stress of fast eating, start by coming to your meals in as relaxed a state as you can. Try to eat somewhere quiet when possible, or at the very least not in an environment that feels stressful. Don’t watch the news, and incorporate some music that relaxes you if that appeals to you.
Before you begin to eat, take two or three grounding breaths. Allow your heart rate to calm, then turn your attention to your meal. Be present with your food. Savor the flavor. Explore the textures on your tongue. Really enjoy the relaxed time with your food. Food is meant to be a satisfying pleasure.
If you are eating food you do not enjoy, ask yourself, “why?”. Food is meant to nourish body, mind and spirit, and we absorb far more nourishment from food we enjoy than from food we do not enjoy.
If you generally take 5 minutes for your meal, try to make it last 10 or 15 minutes. If you generally eat in 15 minutes, try to stretch that out to half an hour.
I hear you!
Life is busy. Sometimes, unfortunately, we might actually have only five minutes to eat. We can still approach our meal in a more relaxed and calm manner. If you truly only have a short time, make that time count. Breathe deeply and relax. Taste what you are eating. Be present to the flavor and texture.
Enjoy!
Find lots more information on the benefits of slowing down when we eat in this fabulous book by Marc David, the founder for the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.
I used to think it was NORMAL to put on 5-10 pounds during the holidays. I told myself it was no big deal, everyone does it, I’ll drop the weight later.
Sometimes I did. More often I gave up. I grew heavier as years passed.
Joy & Cyndi ~ 2005
Two years after I got sober I was using food like a drug and weighed over 220 pounds. I would eat like I could NEVER get full, even when I was full, then restrict my calories ridiculously, and try to lose the weight as fast as possible.
I beat myself up for the extra weight I was carrying, scolding myself, causing increased stress, which caused me to eat more and gain weight, for which I scolded myself. I felt ashamed for being so WEAK that I turned to food for comfort. That caused MORE stress and MORE eating to numb those feelings.
That was my pattern for over a decade.
My chiropractor told me that my debilitating pain was caused by inflammation in my lumbar spine, and that inflammation was caused by inflammatory foods. He did not say what foods were inflammatory, but I cleaned up my act and stopped eating so much sugar, at least for a little while. As soon as my back felt better, I went back to eating whatever I like. Then I woke up one morning with half my face paralyzed. The medical doctors had a name: Bell’s palsy, but no idea what caused it or what to do for it. They told me the symptoms could last for as little as three weeks, or be permanent. They had no way to know.
The palsy symptoms have slowly improved over time, but have never gone away completely. Several months after the onset, I read a book that suggested that palsy symptoms might be due to inflammation. That got me to thinking about inflammatory foods again.
I knew that some of the foods I was eating were damaging my health, and that the medical community was of no help. I decided to start looking for a naturopath hoping that she might be able to help me.
I searched for a naturopath for months before finding one completely by accident. In early October, I was driving home from the beach and pulled over to stretch my legs. When I got out and walked around the sidewalk there was her sign. I should have made an appointment right then, but I took a picture of her sign with her contact information and filed it away.
I really wanted to talk to someone about those lingering palsy symptoms, but I knew without a doubt from the center of my being that she was going to tell me to change the way that I was eating.
I made a conscious decision that I was not willing to give up sugar and treats until after the holidays, so that I could eat whatever I liked and enjoy myself without feeling restricted or left out.
I put it on my agenda to make an appointment with the naturopath early in the new year.
That holiday season I ate like a fiend. Everyone knows if you’ve got a diet coming up you double down on calories, right?
Between Halloween and Christmas that year, I gained 20 lb. When January came I was miserable. My energy was depressed. I wasn’t working out. I had night sweats that soaked my sheets. I was ashamed of the way I looked. I didn’t like the way I felt. I was nauseous most mornings. I was hungry all the time, and I was heavy with shame.
Of course I forgot about calling the naturopath right away, and in early February, I awoke one morning with pain in my intestines that I was certain would kill me. I was really sick. And I was scared. I had a panic attack, and my blood pressure rose off the charts.
I went to the hospital, and got no answers, and no warm fuzzy feeling the answers were coming. Then I remembered that I was going to call that naturopath. So I did.
At our first appointment she told me that she suspected food allergies. She did a blood test, and put me on an Elimination Diet that excluded all the foods known to be troublemakers for two weeks while we waited for the results. I had no problems whatsoever sticking to the eating plan because the pain was an all-too-real indication that there was something seriously wrong with me and I needed to make some changes. Digesting HURT, and I didn’t’t eat anything but produce for nearly two weeks.
When the food allergy test came back, it told me something I had long suspected. Dairy is not my friend. In fact, the food allergy test showed that I am allergic to dairy, sugar, and wheat.
I thought my life was over.
The idea of living without dairy and wheat seemed impossible, restrictive, and heinous. As far as I was concerned the perfect diet was bagels and cream cheese for breakfast, quesadillas for lunch and pizza for dinner. Everyone knows the perfect hiking food is a big hero sandwich loaded with cold cuts and cheese. This is the reason I hadn’t gone to see her in October!
But, I knew that my health was in serious trouble. My body was giving me very clear messages about that. It needed to make changes in what I was eating.
So I stopped eating dairy, wheat and sugar.
And guess what? Not only did I feel better right away, and start to see improvements in the symptoms I had been experiencing within a week, I started to see improvements in things I had not related to food. My skin cleared up. The Eczema on my ankles and elbows went away. The night sweats vanished. My energy level increased tremendously. I started sleeping better, and my libido returned.
By the time my birthday arrived in June, I had dropped 50 lb without doing a single workout. The only change I made was to lose the dairy, wheat, and sugar. It was like a miracle. I had been trying to drop excess weight my entire life.
Sugar In The Wound
Despite my triumph, when stress began to increase, or I was pressed for time, I headed back down that well worn path to the comfort of food, and the ease of wheat and dairy foods.
I mean salads, REALLY, who has time for all that chopping?! Am I right?
Just two weeks before my first vacation to Europe, I was SICK again. I put myself on the elimination diet and called my naturopath. This time I got a diagnosis of SIBO. Small intestinal bacterial overgrowth is no joke. I was sick at least part of nearly every day of my European vacation. I lost 10 pounds the first 5 days we were there. Horrible, miserable intestinal symptoms. We still had a fabulous time, we simply had a lot of challenges along with the fun.
It was after that trip that I realized that dairy and sugar had become my new booze. At the time, I actually had many thoughts about being powerless over sugar. I told myself things like: “I can’t pass up Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, I can’t resist free candy, Halloween is my favorite holiday, I can’t leave any cookies for later, If it’s in the house I have to eat it.” And I knew with every cell in my body I didn’t have the power to pass up cheese on a buffet table.
That kind of conviction will override healthy intentions every time! I had these mantras in my head that blocked my success despite my overwhelming desire to regain my health. I felt like I must be crazy!
Even though I lived through evidence in my own life that proved this eating pattern makes me sick, miserable, and unable to enjoy my life, I returned to it again and again when I was feeling stressed or lonely!
Even though I suspected long before my naturopath told me that I was allergic to cheese because of the way I craved it – just like alcohol – I returned to it whenever I was upset, AND whenever I felt like celebrating. It was truly a deadly double edged sword.
Even though I had experienced hangovers from overeating just like I did from over drinking, if I was stressed or upset when I walked into an event with free food, I was almost guaranteed to overeat even when I told myself I wasn’t going to do it.
But after Europe, I was finally ready to admit that I needed to make changes. I wanted to feel energized and healthy.
I knew I had to make changes, but in my experience, I could not eat a little or I would end up eating a lot. I had learned that with my addictive foods, it was ALL of it, or none of it, so I restricted myself completely. That year at Christmas, I ate ZERO goodies. I avoided parties and gatherings as much as possible so I wouldn’t screw up. I didn’t make my usual holiday candies or cheeseballs. The entire family complained. I didn’t buy candy to put into stockings. I shot resentful looks at people enjoying holiday goodies. I was miserable, resentful and I felt left out, but by golly, I had my food addiction under control.
How many of you think that lasted? By Halloween that year, I was sick again.
Turned out that being aware that I needed to change was a great start, but I still didn’t have the whole picture. I was trying to resist the food cravings with willpower alone, and my willpower eventually ran out.
I was so tired of the weight roller coaster, the night sweats, the inflammation, the achey joints, that powerless feeling I got around chocolate. I was sick of it all.
Worse than that, I was tired of letting myself down! I felt trapped in an vicious cycle of wanting healthy change, planning to make those changes, and then not following through. It left me full of self-doubt and lacking self-confidence!
I felt like I was spinning out of control, like I was powerless over food, like I would never figure it out. And right in the middle of my turmoil, my normally helpful and supportive partner brought home a couple of bricks of cheese from the grocery store.
Rage.
Why would he do this? He knows I can’t eat dairy! He knows I am sick! He obviously knows I can’t resist it. He knows this will end up on my burger and he doesn’t care! I wanted to eat ALL of it because – who cares?
I care.
I clearly heard the voice in my head say, “I care.” Who cares what he brings home? He’s not forcing me to eat it.
And like a ton of bricks it hit me.
Esther Hicks and Abraham tell a wonderful story about getting tabasco in your pie. Just because the tabasco is in the kitchen does NOT mean it will get in your pie. The only way the tabasco gets in your pie is if YOU put it in your pie.
SAME with the cheese, Cyndi! The only way the cheese gets in your pie hole is if you put the cheese in your pie hole!
I had NOT been taking responsibility for what I was eating.
I had been refusing to take responsibility for what I was eating by pretending to be powerless over certain foods. I was giving away my power by clinging to the belief that if certain foods were available, I HAD to eat them. I was pretending that I could not control myself around sugar and dairy, when in fact, I am the ONLY one who can choose my actions. I was simply choosing to give in to temptation and pretend it wasn’t my fault, that it wasn’t my choice, that in fact – I was powerless to change the foods I was eating.
EVERYTHING changed for me with that simple realization.
I took the steps I needed to take to STOP overeating, and stop eating foods I am allergic to, foods that cause harm, inflammation, and all kinds of health problems.
I’ve learned to navigate the holidays without spiraling into stress and overeating, and I’ve developed a process to help clients do the same!
Grow on!
Is your body ready for some healthy changes?
Join me for my first masterclass to explore these key questions:
● Why do I overindulge even when I tell myself I won’t? ● What’s kept me from achieving my health goals in the past? ● Why do I backslide into old behaviors when I’m stressed? ● How can I reduce holiday stress that leads to stress eating? ● Is it possible for me to avoid weight gain during the holidays? ● How can I stay motivated during the holidays? ● BONUS – How can I indulge a little bit without overindulging?
Humans love delicious food to celebrate the good times, and we use food to soothe ourselves during challenging times.
Facebook meme – March 2020
Self-soothing with food is something to which most of us relate, though I’ve heard people say they don’t like the term ‘self-soothing’ or that self-soothing is for wussies. But if you are stress-eating, or using food to deal with anxiety, push away discomfort, or buffer uncomfortable emotions, you are self-soothing with food. What’s your favorite comfort food? Pizza? Mac & cheese? Chicken soup? Sugary sweets? Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the food is, it’s the act of eating that soothes us simply by causing a momentary distraction.
One drawback to using food to soothe is that it tends to result in overeating and excess weight. Comfort foods rarely include vegetables, and almost always include either high fat or processed sugar. While neither of those is detrimental in small doses, if we are overeating them on a regular basis, they can cause physical discomfort, increased health risks, chemical imbalances, confusion, emotional fluctuations, and spiritual stress (due to being out of alignment with personal wellbeing goals).
Used repeatedly as an anesthetic, soothing with food sets up the craving/reward cycle.
Cravings and Rewards
A bigger problem with using food to sooth discomfort is that we train ourselves into a cycle of craving and reward. When we experience an emotion that is uncomfortable, then reach for food to dull our discomfort, we are rewarded with a little hit of dopamine.
Dopamine is a chemical signal from our brain that we have done something that sustains life. Our body regularly produces dopamine when we are warm, when we eat, when we have sex – because these things are necessary for survival. The dopamine REWARDS us by making us feel good for a minute.
We experience discomfort. We soothe with food. We receive a chemical reward of dopamine. We experience discomfort, soothe with food, receive a reward. Experience discomfort, soothe, receive reward. Discomfort, soothe, reward. Discomfort, soothe, reward.
Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
Our lizard brain now believes that the foods with which we soothe are necessary for survival. When you try NOT to soothe with food, your mind will try to convince you that you will DIE if you do not indulge.
Have you ever experienced a time when you felt you HAD to have something? Where you felt you couldn’t NOT eat (smoke, drink, do) something, like you will DIE if you don’t? That’s what that was about! Your lizard brain actually thinks it will die without that dopamine reward. Processed sugar produces a highly concentrated hit of dopamine, much higher than the amount we are normally rewarded for engaging in life-sustaining behaviors, so if you are self-soothing with sugary treats, the craving/reward cycle becomes much more powerful.
Despite what our lizard brain thinks, we will not DIE if we don’t get that sugary treat. Imagine a six-year old throwing a tantrum because you won’t give her a candy bar. She can scream and cry and throw the biggest fit full of snot and tears, but you know she’ll be fine. She won’t die because you don’t give her the candy, right?
Compromised Immune System
Another issue with using food as comfort is that it causes an overload of toxins that our body systems must deal with. While the body is focused on removing toxins from less-than-healthy food choices, it has less energy to keep the immune system strong to protect us from illness. And isn’t THAT what we’re all craving right now? Safety. Protection from harm. Food can’t give us that, but a strong immune system can. Protecting our immune system might be the number one reason at this time to avoid using food to soothe our challenging emotions.
Food is fuel. It’s meant to efficiently power our physical body. When we eat to soothe or comfort ourselves, we actually cause discomfort. We experience physical discomfort or mental/emotional discomfort, even spiritual discomfort from misuse and overuse of food.
Food is NOT a healthful coping mechanism.
Things are feeling really stressful for a LOT of people right now. No one will blame you if you overeat or if you eat foods you normally don’t eat, and you certainly won’t be the only one. But if you want to comfort yourself in a healthy way, or soothe any anxiety you may be feeling, there are many ways to do that without using food.
Some effective ways to soothe without food include:
Physically place your hand on your heart and pet it. This is an amazingly effective technique for comfort!
Wrap your arms across your chest and around your own shoulders and give your self a long hug.
Write yourself a letter and say every comforting thing you wish someone else were saying to you right now, or that you would say right now to a child whom you love with all your heart.
Get outdoors every day.
If you can’t get outdoors, google gorgeous landscape photography and imagine yourself in the photograph! Your imagination is a powerful tool.
Take a walk, even if it’s indoors.
Go for a run.
Put on your favorite song and dance around your living room.
Call a good friend for a long chat.
Journal about your emotions or about the circumstances you experience and what you are thinking about them.
Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend. Have a full conversation about how you understand how hard this is, that you’re sorry you’re going through this, and remind yourself that you will get through this, that everything will work out again, whatever you would tell a close friend in this circumstance, tell it to YOU out loud so you hear it in your own voice.
Please list your favorite HEALTHY ways to cope or soothe in the comments! I love hearing from my readers!
