{"id":3865,"date":"2020-05-08T05:55:23","date_gmt":"2020-05-08T12:55:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/?p=3865"},"modified":"2022-08-10T15:29:25","modified_gmt":"2022-08-10T22:29:25","slug":"stop-shoulding-on-yourself","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/2020\/05\/08\/stop-shoulding-on-yourself\/","title":{"rendered":"Stop Shoulding on Yourself!\ufeff"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Honestly?&nbsp; Most people find that feeling we \u201cshould\u201d do something drains our energy, so it\u2019s demotivating rather than motivating.&nbsp; <br>Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind.  <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Should is &#8220;could&#8221; with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration.&nbsp; No wonder \u201cshould\u201d is so heavy!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Could means we are at choice.&nbsp; We could do something if we chose to do it.&nbsp; It\u2019s a choice, an option, completely voluntary.&nbsp; Should suggests that we are somehow less-than if we choose not to do whatever we are shoulding ourselves to do.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<div class=\"wp-block-image\"><figure class=\"aligncenter\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"1024\" height=\"614\" src=\"https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/freedom-copy-1024x614.jpg\" alt=\"\" class=\"wp-image-1408\" srcset=\"https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/freedom-copy-1024x614.jpg 1024w, https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/freedom-copy-300x180.jpg 300w, https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/freedom-copy-768x461.jpg 768w, https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/freedom-copy.jpg 1500w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 1024px) 100vw, 1024px\" \/><\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">When we have choices, we feel more empowered!<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Should means we don\u2019t have a choice, and nothing makes us feel more powerless.  Simply shifting our thought from, \u201cI should wash the dishes,\u201d to \u201cI want to wash the dishes so the kitchen will be tidy,\u201d can be immensely energizing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>I\u2019m not talking rainbows and lollypops.&nbsp; I\u2019m talking about creating new thought pathways that cause less stress in our lives.&nbsp; Less stress means less cortisol and less disease, so it\u2019s worth the effort!&nbsp; And finding ways to reframe your thoughts can be fun, and creative.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">Grow on!<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p>Catching your \u2018shoulds\u2019 is the first step. &nbsp;<br>Listen for them when you speak and think.<br>When you catch yourself, stop and ask:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>Why do I believe I should?<\/strong><br><strong>What is the worst that will happen if I don\u2019t?  Can I live with that?<\/strong><br><strong>How can I reframe it so that I am choosing to do this?<\/strong><br><strong>What\u2019s the most positive aspect about choosing to do this?<\/strong><br><strong>How can I make this fun?<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<hr class=\"wp-block-separator\"\/>\n\n\n\n<h5 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>having trouble reframing a \u2018should\u2019 statement?  <\/strong><br><strong>drop it in the comments and I&#8217;ll help you brainstorm some ideas, so you can take back your power!<\/strong><\/h5>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective? Honestly?&nbsp; Most people find that feeling we \u201cshould\u201d do something drains our energy, so it\u2019s demotivating rather than motivating.&nbsp; Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind. Should is &#8220;could&#8221; with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration.&nbsp; [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3888,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[13,11,10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3865","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-empowerment","category-mindset","category-self-care"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v23.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Stop Shoulding on Yourself!\ufeff - Cyndi Combs Home<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/cyndicombs.com\/coaching\/2020\/05\/08\/stop-shoulding-on-yourself\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Stop Shoulding on Yourself!\ufeff - Cyndi Combs Home\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective? Honestly?&nbsp; Most people find that feeling we \u201cshould\u201d do something drains our energy, so it\u2019s demotivating rather than motivating.&nbsp; Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind. 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