The mean voice is always wrong. I don’t care what’s being said. If it is said with mean intent, or in a way meant to diminish us or hold us back, it is inaccurate.
When others speak to me with a mean voice, it doesn’t matter what they are saying. It’s inaccurate because whatever they’re saying at me, is truly intended for them to hear. It has nothing to do with me and has only to do with how in alignment, or out of alignment, they are in that moment.
More importantly, when I speak to myself in a mean way, the message is always wrong. The mean girl voice in my head (aka gremlin voice, monster voice) is wrong every time she speaks.
How do I know she’s wrong?
That nasty feeling churning in my gut tells me she’s wrong. The crappy way it makes me feel every time she says something mean to me is a clear indication that she’s wrong. It’s a clear indication that I am thinking in a way that is as vibrationally far from my true vibration (Source) as I can get. That’s why it feels crappy.
When we hear something and it resonates within us, we feel the truth of that vibration and know it’s true by the way it feels in us – resonant.
When we hear something and it feels discordant within us, we feel the wrongness in that vibration and know it is wrong by the way it feels in us – harsh and jarring because it lacks harmony with our Source vibration.
Now, if you – like so many people – have a critical voice in your head constantly scolding that you are too this, then not enough that, and certainly should always be this way, and absolutely never ever be THAT way, or telling you that everything you do is wrong, and will never be enough, then PLEASE take a deep breath!
Not one of those messages is true, no matter how convinced you may be in the moment that the statement is valid or accurate. The message is coming from a mindset that is out of alignment with our Source energy, our True vibration. So take another deep breath and remind yourself of that Truth.
The mean girl voice is trying to protect us from something. At some point in our past something happened that we did not enjoy, and do NOT wish to repeat. Mean girl (or the Gremlin) arose to protect us from that happening again. The mean voice is a part of ourselves trying to protect us from reliving some past hurt.
Unfortunately the way that she often tries to protect us is by having us play small. If we stop living life and stop taking chances, or reaching for something we really want, there will be FAR fewer opportunities for us to get hurt. And while that may have been an excellent strategy for a seven-year-old avoiding parental disappointment or wrath, it is energy-draining and self-defeating as a strategy in the adult world.
So we can love that scared part of ourselves, and give her a big ole hug for everything she’s been doing to try to help us. Then in my mind, I like to lead her to a lounge chair at the beach, hand her a margarita, and tell her to relax and take some time off!
Every time she gets off her beach chair and slings criticism at me, I recognize it by the discordant feeling within. That’s my cue to take a deep cleansing breath, and remind her (and me) that’s old, outdated thinking, and we’re not thinking that way anymore!
Then I go one step further to help heal this negative messaging that has been programmed into me.
Whatever the criticism was, whatever the mean comment, I KNOW that it’s wrong, so I turn it around.
If she tells me I did something wrong, I look for what I did well.
If she says I am ugly or unworthy, I write myself a love letter and tell me all the ways I am beautiful and worthy.
If she tells me I’m fat, I remind her that body shaming is unacceptable.
Fabulous, amazing, beautiful women come in every size and shape of body, and every one of those bodies is beautiful and worthy. Our culture has a broken vision of what beauty is, and critical views of what we “should” look like in order to be considered beautiful. Well fuck that. I will not allow the opinions of others to heap shame, or heavy negative judgement on myself or anyone else!
We have become so indoctrinated to this weight hate that women sometimes put off living our lives. We’re finally going to have it all figured out and live our dreams when we reach that magic number on a scale. (Scales are treacherous, lying machines that will give you completely different numbers at different times of day, or in different rooms of the house. If you have a scale lurking somewhere in your home, I highly recommend destroying it at once.)
As long as we are focused on what we weigh, we will never be focused on what is truly important. (Hint: NOT a number on a lying scale.) Maybe that’s the reason the patriarchy decided to brainwash us into focusing on what we weigh in the first place?
Please remember when you hear the mean voice that she is wrong.
You can choose to start reprogramming your thoughts to ones that make you feel amazing, beautiful, happy, and fulfilled every day of your life!
Grow on!
What message is the critic in your head repeating?
How true is that?
What would you rather believe?
If you heard someone give that same criticism to a young person you love, what would you tell the young person? What would you say to the mean girl voice?