Transformation Playground

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Overeating & Shame ~ Break the Cycle

Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.

We are not weak willed. We are not broken.
There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.

This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!

This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.

Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.

Overeating is rooted in…

The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.

Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.

STRESS

The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting.  Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.

FAST EATING

Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.

LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING

Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel. 

When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?

MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS

Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive.
Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars
Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds
Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut

Essential Fatty Acids:

  • are essential building block of hormones
  • regulate brain & nervous system
  • regulate our immune system
  • have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
  • are vital to reproductive function.  Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.

There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.

Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.

LOW NUTRIENT FOODS

If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.

MEAL SKIPPING

Appetite is our friend.  Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.

Eating when hungry = Life.

Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.

If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.

It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!

  • Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
  • There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.

Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!

The Kindness Key

Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!

Kindness First!
Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time. 

We feel bad, we eat food, we feel better. 

It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.

When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself! 

Shame is the most toxic of all our emotions, and puts us into direct opposition of our core vibration, which is unconditional love. That’s why shame feels so ICKY.

When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.

When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.

Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle. 

We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.

The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.

I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).

The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively. 

This is how we break the cycle.

NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.

Kindness unlocks Curiosity!

Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!

We can ask questions like: 

  • What triggered the overeating?
  • What thought was I thinking?
  • What emotion was I trying to soothe?
  • What was I really hungry for?
  • What would have been most nourishing for me?
  • How can I soothe myself other than with food?

Curiosity increases our Awareness!

We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.

Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.

Grow on!

If you are overeating, you are not alone.

  • Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
  • When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
  • Get Curious in your journal:
    • What triggered the overeating?
    • What thought was I thinking?
    • What emotion was I trying to soothe?
    • What was I really hungry for?
    • What would have been most nourishing for me?
    • How can I soothe myself other than with food?

I help clients release shame, and overeating!
My next Relief through Release Playgroup starts SOON!

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Maintaining My HIGH Vibe!

I encourage clients to do whatever the fuck they need to do to raise their vibration, and keep it high as frequently as possible.

Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toy Box is overflowing with resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive. These are just a few ideas, and I highly encourage everyone to identify the people, places, and activities that infuse their life with joy and leave them feeling energized and eager for life!

Walking my Talk

Because I practice what I preach, I am spending this weekend in McKinleyville at the beach. When it comes to things that raise MY vibe, nature is numero uno. ‘Beach’ happens to be my favorite category of nature, so I try to incorporate it into my life as often as possible.

Something else that maintains my vibe is spending time with my daughter and grandson, so they’ve come to the beach with me!

You’re worth it!

Go to the beach. Rent a house with a water view. Go for a hike in the Redwoods. Spend time with the people you love. Write a poem. Sing a song. Enjoy a sunset. Paint the sunrise. Spend your time and money doing things that charge your fucking batteries.

We are infinite beings with eternal lives. WHY did we choose to come here, if not to enjoy our time on this beautiful planet?

Grow on!

What truly brings your heart joy?
What’s keeping you from doing that?
When can you schedule an opportunity to allow some joy?

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STOP trying to LOSE Weight

It’s no wonder so many people fail to lose weight.

Losing Weight is NOT Possible.

Losing something requires inattentiveness to it. When we’re not paying attention to our food and movement we usually lose health, but we GAIN weight.

We can absolutely release excess weight if we wish to do so, but we’re not going to LOSE it! We will not suddenly wake up and be surprised the weight is missing. “Where did those extra pounds go?! They just vanished. I’ve lost them somewhere!”

While losing something requires inattention, releasing excess weight takes GREAT attention to detail! Releasing weight requires us to pay attention to the healthy goals we’ve set, and take deliberate actions that lead away from inattention.

Making sustainable life changes requires attention! We have to switch OFF the autopilot and guide the journey manually making one course correction at a time.

We begin to pay close attention to the voice in our head, and course correct every time it sounds harsh and critical. We notice the emotional vibrations happening in our body, and begin to understand how those emotions drive our actions. And we begin to cultivate emotions that drive actions that deliberately lead us to our goals for better health!

If you have been trying to lose weight for awhile, and you feel like your journey keeps looping back to the beginning, I invite you to STOP trying to lose weight.

Get curious about why the excess weight is here at this time. Begin making a plan to release any excess weight. Then pay attention to every detail of your plan until it leads you right where you wish to be.

Grow on!

Why do you want to release weight?
How motivating is that reason for you?
If excess weight is a message from the Universe, what is it saying?
What do you need to let go of to reach your goal?
What is one action can you take today that leads you in that direction?

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Give it up!

I recently had a conversation with a client who was pondering the fact that death is the ultimate act of release. She wisely pointed out that some things are easier to release than others, and I am inspired by the way she is actively practicing letting go in different areas of life. 

All humans have attachments. That’s completely normal. However the more attached we are, the more we fight to hold on to the thing we are attached to.

When we become truly attached to something, we will fight to keep it even when it damages our wellbeing.  The thought of losing it creates distress and anxiety. For example, for the alcoholic, the thought of living without daily alcohol may cause panic, even if she is aware that the alcohol is damaging her health in many ways.

Some people remain in abusive relationships because they cannot imagine a life without the person who is abusing them. Some people choose to remain in extremely stressful jobs that cause health problems because they can’t imagine earning their big salary any other way. We can become attached to all kinds of beliefs that create fear and anxiety. (I’m not ‘whatever’ – smart, thin, rich, worthy, healthy, pretty, educated, experienced – enough.)

An infinite variety of manufactured foods deplete our energy and damage our health. These have been designed specifically to be addicting in order to drive up corporate profits. People often reach for these addictive foods to soothe themselves long after we realize the effect that food is having on our health. It’s hard to give up a food or an addiction that makes us feel better!

Habitual thoughts and behaviors can also limit our potential for optimum happiness and wellbeing. Judgement and self-criticism are two of the biggest limiting behaviors that humans develop by way of constant cultural conditioning.

Give it up!

I know it’s not easy to release something that is woven into the fabric of our lives! However, I invite you to begin playing with letting go of whatever it is that’s limiting you. If there is something you can’t imagine your life without, I encourage you to begin imagining your life without it.

Play with letting go of judgement and criticism and see how it feels. What happens to your energy? Your mood? Imagine doing the kind of job that leaves you happy and satisfied at the end of the day. What would that look like for you? I’m not asking you to figure out HOW to leave your crappy job and find a lucrative career you adore, I’m just inviting you to imagine that it is POSSIBLE.

Imagination is the first step of manifestation.

Practice letting go of anything that no longer serves you. If your food choices are not helping you manifest optimum health, practice letting go of some of those foods for awhile to see how you feel. You can always go back to those foods later if you want, but at least allow yourself to experience what it’s like to let them go for a few weeks. What’s the worst that could happen? You might feel better!

Do you HATE to work out, and prefer being sedentary? Imagine yourself deeply enjoying some FUN kind of movement that feels good to your body. I’m not asking you to go join a gym, I’m asking you to imagine yourself enjoying movement. I’m encouraging you to give up the idea that you hate moving your body. Play with some new ways to move that MIGHT feel good to you, and just IMAGINE doing them for awhile. Maybe you’ll get inspired to move. What’s the worst that could happen? You might really have fun!

When we play with letting go of anything that limits us, we can begin optimizing our health, wealth, and unlimited potential!

Grow on!

What’s holding you back?
What habitual patterns would you love to release? 
What does it feel like when you imagine releasing them?
What are you ready to release?
What are you ready to IMAGINE yourself releasing?
How will your life be different when you release that?

Need some help?
If you want help releasing what’s holding you back, schedule a chat with me to see if coaching can help you move from where you are to where you’d LOVE to be!

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Effortless Bilocation

Project your energy wherever you wish to be. It’s really easy. 

Begin with a FAVORITE memory, one so good that’s it’s still ALIVE in your mind, like you are still in that moment when you think about it.

One I return to frequently is a particular lanai of a condo I once rented in Kona. I spent many magical hours watching the ocean roll in to the Kona Reef. I’m always up hours too early in Hawaii due to the time difference, so I would savor a cup of coffee on the lanai and watch morning break over the reef, letting the sound of the waves meditate me.

When I close my eyes, it takes almost no effort to call that feeling – that energy – of glorious perfection back to me, as if I were still there.

I milk it. I let it feed my soul. I plug into it deliberately to charge my spiritual batteries. In those moments, I AM in Kona looking out over the reef. I am present to the sight, sounds, taste, smell, and even the feel of the breeze and salt spray! It doesn’t matter if my body is in California, my essence – the energy of my True self – is fully experiencing being in Hawaii.

As many of you know, I also do this a LOT with Croatia.

I live in Croatia in my mind sometimes because it gives me GREAT joy to do so. I love to promote things that make me happy, so when more than one friend asked me recently to help them plan trips to Croatia, I may have gotten a little swept up in the idea!

It took about two days to put it together, but it was like being in Croatia for a weekend! I swear when I had to go somewhere on Sunday, I felt like I just returned from an amazing vacation!

I share the links here in case anyone is planning a trip to Croatia:
Cyndi’s Crazy for Croatia
Dubrovnik – FIVE Stars, Highly Recommend!

But I digress. I was speaking of being in two places at once.

I invite you to practice putting your energy back into a very pleasant memory. When you feel your energy lift, you’re doing it right. Practice with happy memories until you get the hang of it.  

Then start practicing putting your energy where you WANT it to be – wherever that is. Allow yourself to FEEL yourself in that next travel adventure. Feel yourself being happy, satisfied, and financially independent in your new career. Imagine yourself in the arms of your perfect partner, content, confident, and emotionally held.

Imagine BEING in that moment and let the joy you feel charge your batteries! Enjoying these moments causes the Universe to bring more things to us that FEEL like what we are enjoying.

Imagination is the first step in manifestation.

I once had a client tell me that she never dared think of herself in relationship with her perfect partner because it instantly made her sad that the relationship wasn’t real (yet). Her goal was to attract her soulmate, but she refused to imagine herself achieving that goal!

Anything we want is for no other reason than we think it will make us feel happy. Allowing our energy to feel that happiness NOW  brings that happiness – that manifestation – to us more quickly, BECAUSE – say it with me…

I am planning my next trip to Croatia. I think about all the fun we have created there. I put myself on top of the Walls of Dubrovnik in the sunshine with a camera in my hand and a sea breeze in my face almost every day. It never fails to make me feel on top of the world.

Sharing that joy with you, and the world helps me manifest my next travel adventure, my next friendship, my next great joy. Creating those two pages was FUN. It put me right where I wanted to be, and it thrilled me to my toes. The day after I shared my creation, a friend in Croatia reached out to invite me to stay!

I am thinking about what I want. I am enjoying playing with the energy, and I attract the energy I want to experience.

I am THRILLED and excited to be here with you, and to also be there with you!

Happy bilocating!

Grow on!

Find a favorite memory and milk it for all it’s worth! Journal about it. Recall it as vividly as possible until your energy remembers fully the glorious feeling of being there!

Then practice casting yourself in the starring role of living your dream – whatever your dream is. How do you feel when you accomplish it? Safe? Happy? Fulfilled? Successful? Feel that energy vibrating within you, and practice it frequently to attract MORE to you that feels like that!

If you begin to focus on the lack of the arrival of your manifestation, that’s normal! Don’t be hard on yourself. Gently shift back into the memory of joy you have practiced, and just steep in that energy awhile before projecting forward again.

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I Lost My Shit at the Grocery Store

I needed to make a quick stop at a grocery store. I only needed five or six items, but one of them is consistently difficult to find, so I chose to drive out of my way to a higher-end grocery store where they usually carry it. I was thrilled to see they had it in stock, and picked three of them off the shelf.

One of the other items I needed was grapes.  I found what I wanted in the produce department, but when I looked at the price tag I nearly fell on the floor. $3.88 a pound for grapes seemed excessive even for this place. However, just below the extortionist price they were advertising in large print, was much smaller print saying the same grapes were available for $1.77 a pound if you have the electronic coupon. 

I hate electronic coupons. 

But to save over $2 a pound, I was willing to put in a little effort. While standing in the produce aisle I dutifully downloaded the store’s app, and attempted to create an account. However as soon as I entered my email, it told me that my address already has an account and asked me to enter my password. I didn’t even remember installing the app before, and I certainly didn’t remember whatever password was created for me at that time.

The app prompted me to check my email to get a new password. Now I realize that most people these days who have smartphones have their email available 24/7.

I am not one of those people.

I do not have access to my email on my smartphone. I don’t usually put apps on my smartphone other than Google maps. 

You know what I do with my smartphone? I make phone calls. 

By this time I was frustrated, and when I realized how long I had been standing in the produce aisle I also became irritated. I decided to take my purchase to the checkout, plead ignorance, and throw myself on the mercy of the kind cashier to give me the sale price.

The cashier was overly cheerful, and said she would ring up my order and send me down to see Sally Sue in customer service. I said, “but will I get the sale price on the grapes?” 

She said, “I’m not going to charge you. I’m just going to ring everything up and give you the receipt and send you down to see Sally Sue and she’ll take care of everything.”

I was truly exasperated that the cashier didn’t just have a QR she could scan and give me the correct price! I mean, in the old days if I had forgotten to clip a coupon from the paper and bring it with me, they would have a copy of the newspaper sitting by the register so they could scan the sale price. However in today’s world where electronic communications make our lives so much easier and faster, they do not seem to possess that technology!

By the time I got down to customer service to see Sally Sue, I was running 20 minutes late. I was frustrated,  irritated, and getting annoyed. My normally cheerful demeanor was wearing whisper thin.

I explained to Sally Sue what I had explained to the cashier. “You can’t give the sale price to just some of the people. It’s UNFAIR.  When you have an advertised price, it’s for everyone, not just those with superior tech skills. It’s ageist, and discriminatory!” I added

I was feeling disenfranchised and disregarded, and I could feel my face getting hot. I know my voice had gotten louder because Sally Sue said, “Lower your voice please ma’am, I’m standing right here.”

That did not have the effect Sally Sue wanted it to have.

“I am frustrated! I am irritated! And now I feel embarrassed because you think I’m too stupid to use your app, and you top it off by making me jump through all these hoops that other shoppers don’t have to jump through. My voice is NOT going to be lowered right now because I am upset by your unfair policy and I want to register a complaint!”

In my peripheral vision, I could see the people in the self checkout lanes stopping to watch. As my voice rose louder, the shoppers split into two camps, those who turned away quickly, and those who couldn’t stop watching my train wreck. 

Sally Sue gave me the discount on the grapes without asking me to lower my voice again.

I stormed out of the store nearly in tears I was so pissed off, got home called the store’s 800 number and registered an official complaint with the customer service department.

As CERTAIN as I was standing in that store demanding what I KNEW was right, the self-doubt monster creeped in and drained my energy even more than the encounter at the grocery store had done. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at Sally Sue. Maybe I was “too much” again. I’ve often been told I can be too much.

I didn’t beat myself up over it, I just acknowledged that I had a very human moment. No harm no foul. I congratulated myself that I had somehow refrained from dropping any F-bombs, which if you know me at all, you realize was quite the fucking feat.

So, I didn’t beat me up over it, but I didn’t feel all that proud of me either. That is UNTIL I talked to my amazing coach, Jill Lebeau.

As it happened, I had a chat scheduled with my coach and mentor the day after I lost my shit in the grocery store. You know how she reframed it for me? Fucking perfectly.

“I don’t call that losing your shit my dear!” She said, “I call that stepping into your power. I call that speaking your mind. I call that being your authentic self and calling them on their bullshit policy. Wow! Look at you. I’m impressed. You’re amazing.”

She’s right of course. I didn’t do anything wrong, but something deep inside me wanted to cast myself as bad-guy or wrong-doer. Some long ago conditioning about how women are supposed to behave.

Well fuck that. Well behaved women, apparently do NOT get the sale price on grapes. 

Overcoming life-long conditioning takes time and practice, and a little help. The more we unravel ourselves and our energy from that old conditioning, the more empowered we become! It’s one of the things I help my clients with on a regular basis, and it’s one of the reasons I have regularly scheduled appointments with my coach.

Sometimes it takes help to become aware of where we’re still hooked into those old beliefs that limit our lives.

You can ask anyone who knows me. MOST days I am a fucking ray of sunshine.  And also, I will not hesitate to get stormed up and unleash my thunder when that is what’s required.

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Hooked on Sugar

If processed sugar seems like a monkey on your back, a habit that has you HOOKED, or a problem that erodes your energy, and leaves you feeling powerless, I assure you:

  1. You are NOT alone. 
  2. It’s NOT a personal failing.
  3. It’s not your fault.
  4. You are not experiencing optimal health.
  5. It is possible to get OFF the hook.

You are NOT alone. 

A recent study suggests Americans eat far too much sugar. To be specific, approximately 75% of Americans eat excess amounts of sugar — many of whom could be classified as having a sugar addiction. 

~ Addiction Center

It’s NOT a personal failing.

Research on rats has found that sugar is more addictive than drugs such as cocaine, and that there can be withdrawal symptoms such as depression and behavioral problems when people try cutting out sugar completely. 

~ Ramsay Health

Sugar fuels every cell in the brain. Your brain also sees sugar as a reward, which makes you keep wanting more of it. If you often eat a lot of sugar, you’re reinforcing that reward, which can make it tough to break the habit.

~ WebMD

It’s not your fault.

You cannot crave and think clearly at the same time! Healthy decision-making is switched off when you are craving.  

~ Dr. Joan Ifland

This is NOT your fault.
Where the addiction comes from.

You are not experiencing optimal health.

Too much added sugar can be one of the greatest threats to cardiovascular health.

~ Harvard Health

Everyone knows that sugar can rot teeth, and that it’s high calorie content packs on excess weight rather quickly.

Sugar also affects physical and mental health in far more dangerous ways that may not be obvious until the damage is done.

Numerous studies link eating processed sugar to:

  • Chronic inflammation
  • High blood pressure
  • Cancer
  • Polycystic ovary syndrome
  • Heart disease
  • Dementia
  • Non-alcoholic fatty liver disease
  • Insulin resistance
  • Lipid problems
  • Type 2 diabetes
  • Depression
  • Increased stress

How does too much sugar affect your body?

It is possible to get OFF the hook.

Since sugar can be addicting, and cause withdrawal symptoms when we try to quit, it may seem like an impossible task to get the sugar monkey off our back. Letting go of habits can be tricky, especially when dopamine is involved. But I’m here to tell you, releasing sugar is not only possible, it’s absolutely liberating! 

How is it possible to get relief from sugar cravings, and other unwanted symptoms caused or exacerbated by refined sugars?

By releasing the foods, thoughts, and behaviors that keep us hooked in a habitual loop of swearing off sugar, followed by bingeing on sugar, followed by self loathing, and soothing with sugar.

Relief through Release Playgroup

I specifically designed R&R Playgroup to support women who want to play with releasing sugar for the purpose of improving our health! Participants have created relief from sugar cravings, overeating, excess weight, and other unwanted symptoms.

It is possible to free oneself from processed sugar – and the toxic effects it has on the human body – by combining certain crucial requirements.

Making a plan, and preparing are crucial. During the first phase of R&R Playgroup, we spend three weeks planning what to eat and not to eat, and preparing ourselves mentally and psychologically to release sugar temporarily.

Releasing self-criticism is crucial. This is an ongoing theme throughout R&R Playgroup because I do not believe it is possible to release foods that we enjoy when we are constantly being criticized by anyone.

Temporarily abstaining from sugar is crucial. The second phase of R&R Playgroup is when we experiment with abstaining from sugar for twenty-one days.

Constant Support in community is crucial. Daily support is a consistently proven way to release habitual patterns that are not serving us. During the second phase of R&R Playgroup, we meet daily on Zoom for 21 days. 

It is invaluable to be seen and understood by a community who understands the depth of the challenge you face, and celebrates every success and triumph along your journey!

Learning to regulate our emotions is crucial. One of the number one reasons humans turn to sugar and overeating is the desire to soothe uncomfortable emotions. Learning healthy ways to regulate emotions is a major component of R&R Playgroup.

Coaching and time to integrate what’s learned is crucial. Learning something is different than integrating it. Phase three of R&R Playgroup is about integrating the data we collected during our experiment, and using it to create a road map that aligns us with our own healthy intentions as we move forward.

Freeing ourselves from lifelong habits like self-criticism, or daily sugar use is exponentially easier when we have a solid plan, constant support, educational reminders, an encouraging coach, and a community that understands the enormity of our challenge, and supports and celebrates our journey.

If you or someone you know is interested in getting unhooked from sugar, you can find all the information at THIS LINK, or sign up for the next Masterclass to learn MORE at THIS LINK.

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I am the Light.

I have been feeling a little stressed lately. Thinking about family worries, financial setbacks, and fading friendships has left me feeling a bit depleted. Unexpected and unwelcome changes to holiday plans left me feeling picked on because my expectations weren’t met. Why is it always ME that has to compromise?

Honestly I was feeling disappointed, and slightly victimized.

My friend and mentor, encouraged me to think about how I want to FEEL on a daily basis throughout the holidays, and suggested I choose a word or phrase to use as a guiding light through the coming weeks.

Thinking about that, I decided that I want to feel my power. I want to feel the way I feel when I am connected to Source energy, and letting the Light of undiluted Love flow through me! And I want that for everyone else, too. I want to see pure positive energy – the Light of unconditional Love – spread like wildfire across the globe. 

I am the Light.

THAT is how I wish to feel throughout the holidays and into the New Years, and decades ahead! I am the Light.

When I am the Light, I cannot feel disappointment or fear. I simply shine from within. I shine with infinite Source energy. I am not bound by limiting expectations, because all I expect is illumination – no matter my direction of travel.

Jesus talks about not putting one’s light under a bushel but making it visible for all to see. Christianity says Christ is the light in all beings. Science talks of photons or light waves being present in every atom in the universe. Buddhism says Buddha is always shining, always emitting light. Buddha said, “Be you lamps unto yourselves.”  
– Daily Meditations

I am the Light.

This is my mantra for the holiday season, and coming year.

I am the Light.

When I feel powerless,
I choose to step into my power – the Truth of Who I am. I am Goddess, Source Energy, the energy that creates worlds, and I am neither powerless, nor victim.
Not fucking EVER.

I am the Light.

I CHOOSE to be the Light.
I choose to SHINE.
I choose to love – unconditionally.
I choose Faith.
I choose to TRUST that the Universe has my back.
I choose to BELIEVE that everything turns out for the highest good, even when my human mind cannot see HOW it is good.
I choose to believe that I am worthy, and so is everyone else, even when I feel crappy.
I choose to spend time in nature because it feeds my soul.
I follow the Light within.
I am the Light I see in reflected in my world.
I am the Light, and I choose to fucking SHINE!

I am the Light.

Please remember that YOU, too, are the Light. 

Winter Solstice is the darkest time of year. Let’s give ourselves, and each other the gift of being the Light. I wish you a new year full of health, abundance, opportunities, and blessings.

Let there be Light.

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Consider the Cost!

Hiring a coach can cost hundreds of dollars per session, and thousands for several months of sessions. Spending money to improve ourselves can feel tricky for many of us, and may even feel as though we need to justify the expense.

If you are considering hiring a coach to help change eating habits that you’ve been trying to change for awhile, it’s completely rational to question whether or not coaching will be worth your investment. We all want to get our money’s worth, and if we invest months of our time, we’d like a return on that investment as well! 

It makes total sense.

Before we can make a decision based on cost however, we need to consider the entire cost.

What is the current cost of the behavior you want to change?

I’ll use after-dinner overeating for example, because this is a struggle for MANY people.

What is the after dinner overeating costing now?

What is the emotional cost of eating patterns that feel beyond control? 

How much time have you spent thinking about overeating? Or trying to get rid of overeating in the past? How much energy have you spent beating yourself up because you missed the goal again?

What is the cost of the extra food eaten over the next six months? What is the cost of overeating in terms of health, digestion, or weight concerns? How much do you spend on antacids and anti-inflammatories? What will it cost to buy new clothes? What was the cost of the clothes that no longer fit?

I know firsthand the struggle of weighing the financial cost of coaching against my own history of not reaching my health goals. In my case, I also had an addiction to certain foods which deviously kept telling me that now was NOT the right time to try again to reach my goals.

For ME, coaching made all the difference. I’m not saying that it’s right for you, that’s something each of us can to choose for ourselves. I’m simply saying that before labeling anything “expensive” it’s wise to calculate the entire cost.

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Give Thanks for Miracles!

Life is a series of millions of tiny miracles.

Don’t just notice them. Appreciate the fuck out of them!

Appreciation is the HIGHEST vibe available to humans. Love and appreciation are the same. We are here on this planet to allow love to flow through us and into our world!

I know that life on earth is a mixed bag. It’s super easy to focus on challenges and obstacles – they arise to shift our focus. But often we become SO focussed on the challenge, that we don’t even notice miracles, let alone appreciate them. 

I invite you to let the love flow, for no other reason than it feels fucking amazing! When you feel yourself contract in fear (worry, guilt, regret, resentment, etc…), take a deep grounding breath and allow yourself to expand into love.

How? 

Infuse appreciation into every miracle around.

Now, if we have been focused on fear for awhile, we may not even recognize the miracles. If this is where you find yourself, don’t panic. You are not alone in this by any score, and nothing has gone wrong! We are culturally conditioned to look for what is going wrong or might go wrong, threats to our lives, finances, and health, and circumstances outside of our control.

It is my honor, and great pleasure, to help people refocus on ALL we have to appreciate in our lives! Recognizing everyday miracles, and flowing love & appreciation to them serves our health, uplifts our mood, and connects us to infinite wisdom.

I present an incomplete list of miracles to which we can flow love and appreciation.

  • sunshine
  • rain
  • clouds
  • oxygen
  • flowers
  • gardens
  • trees
  • birds
  • butterflies
  • rainbows
  • food (other stuff exists that provides nutrients we require to survive!)
  • dogs
  • cats
  • babies
  • running hot water
  • internet and the level of connectivity it provides
  • grocery delivery! (Imagine what pioneers on the prairie would MAKE of that!)
  • true friends
  • imagination!
  • challenges & obstacles – It is common to curse obstacles, and cast the self as victim when challenges arise. If we shift our point of view and ask what Love is teaching with this challenge, the way through becomes clear. The challenge is ALWAYS a gift, even when we cannot see the value.
  • legs that carry us through life
  • eyes to see the beauty in the world
  • arms to hold the ones we love
  • intestines that digest everything, even when we eat unconsciously.
  • an immune system that protects our lives from unseeable organisms
  • tastebuds!
  • lungs that inhale and exhale
  • blood that delivers oxygen and nutrients
  • organs that serve our survival without us even understanding what they do!
  • a heart that beats without us having to think about it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every week of every year of our life!
  • eardrums!
  • our ability to smell pine, and cloves, and roses, and puppy breath
  • Self! – the sum total of billions of living cells that compose the flesh, and life that are you, is nothing short of a miracle!

There is NOTHING more important to which we flow our love and appreciation than self.  Self-love is the key to transforming anything we wish to change. And if there is nothing we wish to change, flowing love and appreciation to self will enhance the perfection we are enjoying!

If we see nothing to appreciate, it is only because we have not cultivated an appreciation of the miracles that surround us. We have been conditioned to take miracles for granted. 

We can absolutely condition ourselves to see them everywhere.
We invite MORE miracles by focusing on miracles!

Grow on!

I invite us to bask in the sunlight of our own miraculous being.
I invite us to look for miracles, NAME them, and infuse them with appreciation and love. Start with the ones I list above. More and more miracles will become obvious.
Practice looking at challenges as a miracle designed by our soul to provide an amazing gift, and deeper understanding of love.

Enjoy previous blog posts on appreciation and gratitude:
Count Your Fucking Blessings
Gratitude Infusion
Deep Gratitude for 2021

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Eat Less, Lose Weight. Right?

For decades the diet industry’s messaging has been: Eat less, lose weight. But if that’s true, why do so many diets fail?

If weight release is the goal, cutting calories may not be the answer!

Not all calories are created equally. If we consume 2,000 calories of white bread, French fries, fast foods, and sugary drinks, we will not have the same experience with health and wellness as someone eating 2,000 calories of proteins, essential fats, and a wide variety of fruits and vegetables.

In cases of extreme calorie restriction, the body stops building muscle and begins storing fat. The human body is biologically wired to do this when we don’t get enough to eat. It’s a defense mechanism meant to save our life. We cannot get around our own biology! To reverse this defense, we must eat MORE calories to get the metabolism going. Then the body can begin building muscles and burning our food as fuel instead of storing it as fat.

Eating less can sometimes lead to a release of excess weight, but in my personal and professional experience, it’s rarely sustainable.

Why?

Carrying excess weight is never caused simply by “eating too much.”

If we are overeating, we have excellent fucking reasons to overeat that are rooted in the SCIENCE of either biology or psychology.

Some biological reasons for overeating:

  • Not eating breakfast
  • Skipping meals.
  • Not getting enough of one or more macronutrients:
    • water
    • healthy fats
    • protein
    • carbohydrates
  • Eating empty-calorie foods.
  • Physical addiction to processed foods.
  • Allergies or sensitivities to frequently used foods.

Some psychological reasons for overeating:

  • Stress.
  • Self-criticism.
  • Self-doubt, and low self-esteem.
  • Inability to process emotions.
  • Low or no pleasure in life.
  • Lack of spiritual connection.
  • Lack of social connection.
  • Lack of purpose.
  • Depressed energy.

If weight release is the goal, we want to play with all of these variables before we decide if we need to reduce or increase calories. The key to weight release is different for each of us. One woman may need to reduce stress, while another may need to increase nutrients. One person may need to find an outlet for her creativity, another may need to change employment, or release an unhealthy relationship in order to reach a stable, healthy weight. 

Most of us will also want to release any foods that we observe to be causing symptoms. So, maybe you keep eating the same 2,000 calorie diet, but you eliminate all the wheat (or dairy, or any food suspected of affecting you personally), and suddenly the excess weight releases without effort.

If weight release is the goal, and we are hungry all the time, frustrated due to lack of progress, and still trying to reduce calories, it’s time to LET GO of the “Eat Less, Weigh Less” propaganda to which we have been indoctrinated!

Let’s play with new ways of thinking about weight release, new ways of thinking about weight, and new ways to be kinder to ourselves and our bodies.

Grow On!

Instead of trying to eat less, try this:
Don’t skip breakfast!
Play with adding protein and fat calories to breakfast and lunch. 
Play with releasing foods that come in packages.
Play with eating more whole food.
Play with letting go of wheat, or dairy.
Play with eating salad every day.
Listen to your body when you eat. What is it telling you?

Header image: Salmon & Eggs from fifteenspatulas.com