Consider the Cost!

Hiring a coach can cost hundreds of dollars per session, and thousands for several months of sessions. Spending money to improve ourselves can feel tricky for many of us, and may even feel as though we need to justify the expense.

If you are considering hiring a coach to help change eating habits that you’ve been trying to change for awhile, it’s completely rational to question whether or not coaching will be worth your investment. We all want to get our money’s worth, and if we invest months of our time, we’d like a return on that investment as well! 

It makes total sense.

Before we can make a decision based on cost however, we need to consider the entire cost.

What is the current cost of the behavior you want to change?

I’ll use after-dinner overeating for example, because this is a struggle for MANY people.

What is the after dinner overeating costing now?

What is the emotional cost of eating patterns that feel beyond control? 

How much time have you spent thinking about overeating? Or trying to get rid of overeating in the past? How much energy have you spent beating yourself up because you missed the goal again?

What is the cost of the extra food eaten over the next six months? What is the cost of overeating in terms of health, digestion, or weight concerns? How much do you spend on antacids and anti-inflammatories? What will it cost to buy new clothes? What was the cost of the clothes that no longer fit?

I know firsthand the struggle of weighing the financial cost of coaching against my own history of not reaching my health goals. In my case, I also had an addiction to certain foods which deviously kept telling me that now was NOT the right time to try again to reach my goals.

For ME, coaching made all the difference. I’m not saying that it’s right for you, that’s something each of us can to choose for ourselves. I’m simply saying that before labeling anything “expensive” it’s wise to calculate the entire cost.

Overeating & Shame ~ Break the Cycle

Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.

We are not weak willed. We are not broken.
There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.

This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!

This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.

Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.

Overeating is rooted in


The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.


Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.

STRESS

The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting.  Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.

FAST EATING

Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.

LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING

Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel. 

When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?

MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS

Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive.
Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars
Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds
Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut

Essential Fatty Acids:

  • are essential building block of hormones
  • regulate brain & nervous system
  • regulate our immune system
  • have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
  • are vital to reproductive function.  Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.

There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.

Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.

LOW NUTRIENT FOODS

If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.

MEAL SKIPPING

Appetite is our friend.  Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.

Eating when hungry = Life.

Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.

If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.

It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!

  • Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
  • There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
  • The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.

Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!

The Kindness Key

Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!

Kindness First!
Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time. 

We feel bad, we eat food, we feel better. 

It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.

When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself! 

Shame is the most toxic of all our emotions, and puts us into direct opposition of our core vibration, which is unconditional love. That’s why shame feels so ICKY.

When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.

When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.

Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle. 

We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.

The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.

I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).

The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively. 

This is how we break the cycle.

NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.

Kindness unlocks Curiosity!

Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!

We can ask questions like: 

  • What triggered the overeating?
  • What thought was I thinking?
  • What emotion was I trying to soothe?
  • What was I really hungry for?
  • What would have been most nourishing for me?
  • How can I soothe myself other than with food?

Curiosity increases our Awareness!

We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.

Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.

Grow on!

If you are overeating, you are not alone.

  • Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
  • When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
  • Get Curious in your journal:
    • What triggered the overeating?
    • What thought was I thinking?
    • What emotion was I trying to soothe?
    • What was I really hungry for?
    • What would have been most nourishing for me?
    • How can I soothe myself other than with food?

I help clients release shame, and overeating!
My next Relief through Release Playgroup starts SOON!

WTF is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I am super excited to be a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach trained at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating!

As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help.  Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I’m glad you asked!

While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.  

Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.

MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”

A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body.  MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.

This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.

So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?

Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:

  • Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
  • Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
  • Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
  • Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
  • Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:

“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo

After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco

“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn.  She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo

“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole

Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to:
– Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
– Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
– Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
– Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
– Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

What do you have to lose?

Grow on!

If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat to see if I’m the right coach for you!

Listen to Your Body

As I explained in my post, Failed Fucking Fairy Tales,
there are no magic fucking beans.

There is no one right answer that fits every body. There is no food plan that is perfect for every human, no exercise prescription that suits every life, no one plan that will create the a healthy body/life for every person.  That’s why we can’t just read a book, follow all the guidelines, and create our body in whatever image we deem perfection.  If there were one right way to transform our body, that “way” would have been discovered and marketed for zillions.  

There are billions of dollars being made annually by diet systems, workout plans, and nutritional supplements, but have you noticed how different they all are?  Some say eat large amounts of protein, some dictate no protein at all.  Other diets are non-fat, while still others include healthy fats at every meal.  Some are effective for some people.  All of them claim to be the magic bean – the one system that works miracles. 

While it’s true that many of these methods may be effective for some – at least short term – how do we know which one works for us?

If you feel confused or frustrated around this topic, it’s with good reason!

What should I eat?  What exercise should I do?

These questions have been documented and debated to death for decades.  It’s no wonder so many people are confused about what works and what is hype!

So how do we do what is best for our health and our body?  If I have a goal to transform my body in some way, what is the best approach for me?

There is only one authority on your body and your health: YOUR Body.

If we ask the body what it needs and then listen, our body will clearly tell us what is beneficial and nourishing, and what is not.

This is a super simple technique, but it requires slowing down and being present.  In our fast-paced society where time is in short supply, we rarely do that.  But if you are telling me that some kind of transformation is your goal, slowing down and being present will allow you to find your way.  YOUR way, the way that most benefits you.  

The path to the healthy body you desire will not be found in books, but in slowing down and really listening to what your body says.  This takes practice, and patience, and time.

Elimination Diet – 

The elimination diet is one of the BEST ways to help people find out what is, or is not, working for their health and their body.  An elimination diet is NOT a diet meant to sustain us for life.  It is meant to be used over a few weeks to discover which foods we eat regularly are not serving our health.

The main thing I want to tell you is that NOTHING IS FOREVER.  Many people won’t try the elimination diet because they fear they will find out they are allergic to a food they love, and will have to give it up forever. 

Nothing is forever.  This is just an experiment to see how different foods nourish or deplete the body.  Even if you discover that you are allergic to something, you don’t have to give it up!  That’s a choice you get to make.  We make better choices when we are informed, so this is simply a way to gather information.

Think of the elimination diet as a playful experiment to uncover valuable treasure.  In this case, the treasure is information that allows us to make choices to improve our health and transform our body.  There are myriad reasons one may wish to undertake a playful experiment with the elimination diet.  Many kinds of digestive complaints are eradicated with an elimination diet.  Many people release all kinds of other issues including skin problems, headaches, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, sleep issues, low energy,  brain fog, and more!  Many people accept these issues as a normal part of life, when they may actually be caused by something we are eating regularly.  If you suffer with any of these, wouldn’t it be AWESOME to be able to stop the suffering?

The elimination diet is a very simple basic experiment that anyone can try without paying a dime.  Since it’s not profitable, we don’t hear about it.  It doesn’t have an advertising budget.  The elimination diet provides specific answers right for YOU.  Then, armed with body wisdom, you get to choose.

I will briefly discuss each step below, but I attach a PDF HERE from the University of Wisconsin Integrative Medicine that explains the details fully. 

Grow on!

Explore which foods enhance your life, and which foods are depleting your energy.

Step 1 – Planning
• Decide which foods to avoid, which to include.
Ask yourself a few key questions: 
– What foods do I eat most often? 
– What foods do I crave? 
– What foods do I eat to “feel better”? 
– What foods would I have trouble giving up? 
– What foods have I noticed symptoms of irritation when I eat them? (Runny nose, burning sinus, upset digestion, low energy, headache, etc.)
Make a list of the foods from your answers above, and any from the list below that your health care practitioner advises:
Foods problematic for many people:
Dairy
Gluten 
Soy
Corn
Eggs
Peanuts
Tree nuts
Citrus
Shellfish

The list you just made is your list of foods to avoid for 2 weeks.
Now make a list of foods you CAN include! 

Step 2 – Avoiding
Enjoy eating from the “Eat this” list.
Avoid foods on your “avoid this” list
• For 2 weeks, avoid the foods that may be causing issues.  Many people notice health symptoms improve in the first few days.

Step 3 – Challenging 
• If your symptoms have not improved in two weeks, stop the diet and talk with your health care practitioner about whether or not to try it again with a different combination of foods. 

• If your symptoms improve, start “challenging” your body with the eliminated foods, one food group at a time. As you do this, keep a written record of your symptoms. 

To challenge your body, add a new food group every three days. It takes three days to be sure that your symptoms have time to come back if they are going to.

Step 4 – Choosing
• Based on your results, choose which foods you want to continue eating, which foods to let go, and which foods you want to eat in smaller amounts.


If you would like further guidance in creating a sustainable way of eating, and a happy relationship with food and body, please, schedule a free 30-minute chat HERE to see if I’m the right Mind Body Eating Coach for you! 

Slow Food

Remember last week’s blog post when I talked about stress, the effects of stress on our body, and the difference between life stress and self-chosen stress? 

If not click this link to read all about it!


This week I want to talk about one self-chosen stressor in particular.  It’s insidious in our culture, and most of us are not even aware that it is a stressor!  

Are you a fast eater, a slow eater, or a moderately paced eater?

Ninety percent of people asked this question answered, “fast”.  And guess what?  Human biology interprets eating fast as being stressed.

Remember, we saw that constant low-level stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:

  • weight gain
  • inability to lose weight
  • inability to build muscle
  • decreased calorie burning
  • increased fat deposits at midsection
  • increased inflammation
  • gut microbiome die off
  • nutrient wasting
  • decreased energy
  • appetite deregulation
  • desensitivity to pleasure
  • decreased metabolism
  • decreased Thyroid function 
  • decreased oxygen uptake
  • poor sleep

Imagine how this affects us if we have a weight challenge, or body transformation goal!  Even if we are not pursuing a food and body goal, none of these optimizes our health.  It makes complete sense that we want to reduce stress whenever possible. 

If you answered that you are a “fast” or even “moderately paced” eater, then you have now identified a stressor that you can choose to get rid of!  Reducing stress always has positive benefits, so why wouldn’t we put some effort into slowing down with our food?

The main reason is because eating fast is a habit. 

Generally, until someone asks us this question, we never even consider our eating speed.  In fact part of the problem is that many of us never even consider our food! 

We may skip breakfast or grab a pastry at the coffee shop, then eat lunch at the desk or running between clients, then grab some take out on the way home for dinner.  If any of these behaviors sound familiar, then you have a golden opportunity to release some of the stress that you carry!

(Slowing down with food is also a first step in releasing patterns of bingeing, after-dinner eating, and overeating.)

If you are interested in trying to break the habit of eating fast, you have much to gain!  So what do you have to lose (besides stress)? 

Here are some other symptoms caused or exacerbated by fast eating which can also diminish or go away completely:

Eating fast is a habit.  Eating more slowly requires some effort because we are creating a new habit, and new habits take time. This is NOT about counting bites. This is about relaxing with food and increasing pleasure! This is about enjoying our mealtimes and boosting happiness. This is about being present, becoming aware & listening to our body.

Fast eating is a habit.

Slow eating is a habit worth cultivating.

Grow on!

If you want to release the stress of fast eating, start by coming to your meals in as relaxed a state as you can.  Try to eat somewhere quiet when possible, or at the very least not in an environment that feels stressful.  Don’t watch the news, and incorporate some music that relaxes you if that appeals to you.

Before you begin to eat, take two or three grounding breaths.  Allow your heart rate to calm, then turn your attention to your meal.  Be present with your food.  Savor the flavor.  Explore the textures on your tongue.  Really enjoy the relaxed time with your food.  Food is meant to be a satisfying pleasure.

If you are eating food you do not enjoy, ask yourself, “why?”.  Food is meant to nourish body, mind and spirit, and we absorb far more nourishment from food we enjoy than from food we do not enjoy.

If you generally take 5 minutes for your meal, try to make it last 10 or 15 minutes.  If you generally eat in 15 minutes, try to stretch that out to half an hour.

I hear you!  

Life is busy.  Sometimes, unfortunately, we might actually have only five minutes to eat.  We can still approach our meal in a more relaxed and calm manner.  If you truly only have a short time, make that time count.  Breathe deeply and relax.  Taste what you are eating.  Be present to the flavor and texture. 

Enjoy!


Find lots more information on the benefits of slowing down when we eat in this fabulous book by Marc David, the founder for the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.