Tag: self care

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The subtle art of not giving a FUCK what other people think

First and foremost, you are God. The energy animating our flesh is Divine Source energy, or what people like to call God.

Your core energy is Divine.
My core energy is Divine.
Their core energy is Divine.

Every one of us is an expression of the Divine Source energy that created everything in the Universe. We are absolutely perfect despite whatever flaws or shortcomings we think we perceive. When we begin with this understanding, it’s easy to see that no one is better than anyone. We are all equal, all One energy.

How other people think, and speak about me is NONE of my business because it has NOTHING to do with me.

What other people think of me, and how they treat me has NOTHING to do with me.

How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only ONE thing, and it’s NOT me!

How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only one thing: How in alignment, or out of alignment they are with their own core energy.

How in alignment, or out of alignment THEY are with THEIR own core energy. (Not my energy.) It has NOTHING to do with me.

Trying to figure out why they don’t like me, or why they treated me like that, or what I did “wrong” is a complete WASTE of energy! Trying to change their mind is also a huge waste of energy, and generally backfires because we feel defensive.

Does it feel good to be liked by others?

Absolutely!

Is it necessary for your wellbeing?

Not a chance.

If we live in such a way as to BE what someone else wants us to be, we are not our true authentic self. To BE the YOU that you came here to be, you must learn to listen to the guidance INSIDE of YOU. When we look outside for guidance, it’s complete chaos! 

Why?

Have you ever tried to get EVERYBODY, or even a large group of people to agree on ANYTHING? Everyone has their own idea about what’s right or wrong, or effective, based ONLY on their own experience and viewpoint. They do NOT have a guide book with hard and fast rules that work for every life.

Diet as an example.
How much do people agree on what the perfect weight loss plan is?
Do you see that working for EVERYONE?

WHY follow a path that someone ELSE is excited and passionate about when you can choose to follow a path that excites YOU, and that YOU are passionate about? If we follow a path made of other people’s opinions, the magnificent fullness of who you came here to BE cannot be realized, and you are cheating the world out of the unique perspective, the individual viewpoint that is YOU.

This is the definition of giving away your power.

This does not mean we can’t live a life that serves others, or in service to others – as long as we CHOOSE it for ourselves. If you are living a life of service because someone else wants you to, FUCK that!

And we don’t want to choose service to others ABOVE serving our own needs! You are not an afterthought! You are the central character in your own story.

I worry that others are judging me!

This thought is a mirror in two ways.

1- You judge yourself harshly, so you see them judging you.
2- You are judging them to be judgers in the process.

No one is ever judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. If they do, cut them out of your life, or minimize time spent with them, or set healthy boundaries by telling them to stop it.

The more you love yourself, the less harshly you criticize yourself, the easier it will be to see them as less critical, and less judgemental.

While you are not giving a fuck about what people think, I would also LOVE for you to not give a fuck what people do!

Other people are not the boss of you.
You are also not the boss of them!

They get to choose what they think is right and best for them. When we try to choose for them, our energy becomes entangled.

Energy entanglements DRAIN us!

Think how much energy it takes to make decisions for yourself and run your own life. Do you REALLY have the energy to also do that for everyone you love, and strangers too?

If so, WHERE on earth did you find that rule book titled This is the ONE right way for everyone! by R.O. Gant?

HUGE energy drain, and…

This is the definition of taking away their power, and we drain our own power when we try.

Short of situations where someone is harming you or others, take a deep breath and let that shit go!

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Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care

YAY for triggers!

What are triggers? Triggers are a golden fucking opportunities to expand our awareness, and grow through challenge. Triggers are gifts from the Universe, pointing to that which needs our attention.

Triggers are personal to each of us, and they generally piss us off, or generate some other strong, emotional response. They’re the things that get under our skin, which DEMAND a reaction from us. Often we can’t NOT react. And frequently, looking back, we wish we had acted in some other way instead of the way we reacted.

Generally triggers are accompanied by a feeling of stress. Whether we react, or hold back the reaction we feel, stress or anxiety are activated inside us. Sometimes we also beat ourselves up for having reacted. (Why did I let them get to me? I should be past this by now! What’s wrong with me? Or similar thoughts.) This can add shame to the toxic mixture of emotions already triggered within us, and increases our perceived stress.

Humans get triggered by all sorts of things. Think repeated behaviors that annoy, like a partner dropping dirty clothes on the floor, leaving dishes in the sink, or not calling when they will be late. These behaviors don’t trigger me – and maybe not you either – but they are triggers for many people. Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Coworkers, children, politicians, parents, or pets can all trigger us for different reasons.

Recently I was speaking with a client who has two new kittens that she adores. They are young, and energetic, and often misbehave and steal small, important objects and hide them out of reach. As we were talking, a new game popped into my head. 

What if every time the misbehaved kittens trigger frustration, we create an opportunity for self-love instead?

Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care

I suggested she make a list of everything she considers self-care, write each item on a slip of paper, and place the slips of paper into a hat, a fishbowl, or a fancy box. Then every time the kittens misbehave, she reaches into the fishbowl and pulls out a self-care prize, instead of shooting herself in the foot with stress, reactivity, blame, and shame. 

She loved the idea, and so do I!
I encourage everyone to play.

The game allows us to be triggered into self care, and replace stress-building reactions with desirable actions that reduce stress and build healthy habits! Of course you don’t need misbehaved kittens to play. You could play Annoying Coworker Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or Inattentive Spouse Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or my current personal favorite, Puppy Poops on the Carpet Russian Roulette of Self-Care.

So how do you define self-care?

Anything qualifies that makes YOU feel cared for, held, and supported. The header contains lots of great possibilities for self-care, and below is a short list. I encourage you to personalize your list to include your favorites, and only use those that truly resonate for you. Some women love to get pedicures and look forward to them as a pampering treatment. Others find them tedious, and don’t enjoy having their feet touched. There is no right or wrong. It’s about whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, cared for, and loved. 

Self-Care possibilities:

Make a gratitude list.
Dance for 5 to 10 minutes.
Schedule a massage.
Journal.
Get a mani-pedi.
Journal while you get a mani-pedi.
Fix a cup of your favorite tea.
Take a nap.
Sing your favorite song, and really belt it out.
Do some mirror work.
Take 10 slow deep breaths.
Take a 10 minute yoga break.
Sit in the jacuzzi.
Take a walk.
Spend time in the sun.
Write yourself a love note.
Go to bed early.
Call an uplifting friend.
Look at beautiful photos of nature.
Create art.

Grow on!

Make your own list of self-care.
Write each item on a slip of paper.
Place them in a container that pleases you.
Now when you feel triggered, you can choose to react by reaching for self-care.

Header image photo credit – Thanks to Western Oregon University!

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Even on Shitty Days

I don’t feel like writing a fucking blog post today. I don’t see any sunny side at the moment. I am not inspired, nor do I feel inspiring. My dog had surgery yesterday and kept me awake all night trying to get the cone off his head. I have a tension headache the size of Montana. My spine is out of alignment causing me to be off work, so my finances feel out of alignment. My perspective is out of alignment with my higher self, and my human is screaming WTF?! 

I don’t even want to listen to my favorite podcast to try and lift my vibe! What’s wrong with me?! WHY is everything going wrong? What did I DO to deserve this mess!?

Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckitall!

I rest my head in my hands, rub my temples and take a deep breath. When I find I haven’t the energy to scream, I exhale with force through gritted teeth. 

In that small, quiet space following my exhale, I can hear my higher being for just a moment, just long enough to whisper my new mantra to me.

Nothing has gone wrong.
Everything is perfect.
All is well.

“Well it sure doesn’t FEEL as if all is fucking well,” I retort with just as much snark as I can muster. But I have softened. Just a bit, but enough. 

I know enough to know that even if I can’t see the gift (the lesson my soul is hungry to learn) in the moment, my new mantra is right. Nothing ever goes wrong. All goes according to Divine plan. I trust the Universe to have my back, which means I can relax, and right now relaxation is exactly what I need.

Nothing has gone wrong.

I am simply having a human experience – not good nor bad – just human. Sometimes we get out of alignment with our highest self, and that’s ok! That’s part of the plan, to get out of alignment and find our way back. And it’s fine if I don’t want to find my way back right this minute! We can always learn something from spending time in misalignment. Sometimes we learn it in the moment, and sometimes we learn in hindsight, but simply remembering that nothing has gone wrong, allows us to relax a bit, allows the resistance to soften.

I’m still exhausted from not sleeping, but I am no longer shoulding on myself. I don’t beat myself up for being out of alignment. I accept it as part of being human, part of my experience, and give myself a fucking break!

In fact, I do deserve a break. I think I’ll schedule a massage, and if any voices in my head try to tell me I don’t deserve it, they can fuck right the hell off.

Yeah. I’m feeling better!

Practice my new mantra for awhile if it feels good to you. 

Or find a mantra that reminds you of your power and practice that.
I find that it really helps. Especially on the shitty days. 

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Power Up!

How often do you charge your cell phone? Put gas in your car?

WHY so freaking often?!

Because when we use something constantly, that’s how fast the energy gets consumed.

Now, how often do you use your body?
And how frequently are you charging your batteries? 
Do you know how to refuel your own energy?

These are crucial questions to consider, and ones I ask my clients every week. One of the biggest reasons we can feel depleted is because we have no idea how to fuel up, fill our reserves, charge our batteries. The things that drain our energy are unending, and come at us all day every day. Just lying still breathing requires some energy! If we actually go out in the world to school, careers, social engagements, and all the rest, we are constantly spending our energy supply.

If we are not making space in our schedule to recharge, or have no idea where to go to plug in, is it any wonder we feel drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed?

We can optimize health and energy by defining what recharges us (energy gains), and releasing any energy drains that are optional. 

Killing Time vs. Creating Fun

Just to be clear – relaxed scrolling, or watching TV is not the same as being plugged in. There is nothing wrong with those activities, but they can’t really be counted as recharging. It’s kind of like not charging the phone, but not using it either.  We end up with no net loss or gain in energy. Our battery charger MUST be plugged in for a gain in energy to occur, so simple “down-time” activities like scrolling social media or watching entertainment are not inherently energy building and should not be included when listing energy gains. 

Rather than helping us disengage (like watching or scrolling), energy gains are usually things that engage our energy and feel like fun. With this distinction in mind, we can begin to define a list of people, places, and practices in our lives that actually feed us energy and fuel us up, and which ones drain our energy and leave us feeling exhausted and empty inside. 

The lists below are merely suggestions to get us thinking about what fills us with joy, and where we actually choose to spend our energy supply. They are not meant to be all inclusive.

Maximize Energy Gains

  • Any self-care practices you already do, or want to begin doing.
  • Spend time in nature.
  • Look at beautiful nature photography.
  • Enjoy nature videos on YouTube.
  • Move your body in any way that’s FUN.
  • Read uplifting books and articles.
    – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM!
  • Listen to inspiring podcasts.
    – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM, but with your ears.
  • Talk to a coach or therapist.
    – This is an excellent way to personalize a shift in mindset.
  • Breathe deeply.
  • Relax often.
  • Slow down with meals to gain more pleasure from your food.
  • Offer yourself unconditional love.
    – This takes practice, and often requires support from others.
  • Frequently tell yourself and others what you appreciate in them.
  • Hug everyone.
  • Say what you think always, but say it with love.
    – Speaking our truth is essential for health, and so is not harming others with our words or emotions.
  • Schedule time to do the things that make you happy!
    – THIS is the key to increasing the energy available to us!
  • Dive into my toy box and find lots inspiring ideas!
Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toy Box

Play with any or all of these as feels right in your experience!

Minimize Energy Drains

  • Negative self talk!
    – This is the most energy draining activity humans do.
  • Neglecting self-care.
  • Judging self and others.
    – Everyone is right where we need to be, and doing the best we can in each moment.
  • Negative emotions like anger, frustration, irritation, depression, fear, guilt, worry…
    – These are NORMAL human emotions to feel and then move through, and they drain our energy when we get stuck in them.
  • Doing things you do NOT want to do.
    – Don’t force yourself to say yes when you want to say no.
  • NOT doing things you want to do!
    – Not doing what charges our batteries drains our energy double time.
  • Limiting beliefs.
    – Any thought we keep thinking that keeps us from moving forward.
  • Taking things personally.
    – Their behavior is never about me and always about them.
  • Poor quality food.
    – Nourishing foods increase our energy. Poor quality foods deplete our energy.
  • Gossip and drama.
  • People-pleasing.
  • Clutter, disorganization.
    – Visual clutter can drain our energy.
  • Overuse of caffeine, sugar, or alcohol.
    – There is nothing wrong with using some caffeine, sugar, or alcohol, and overuse of any of these powerful substances will deplete our energy.

Play with watching what shows up in your experience. 
Play with identifying where your energy is leaking.
Play with letting go of these as you become willing to release them!

Once we create our own lists, we are able to make choices based on how much energy we have, and how we most want to spend it!

Grow on!

Try creating your own lists of what fills your fuel tank and what leaves you feeling empty! Then schedule some of the battery chargers in your calendar, and play with letting go of some of the behaviors that drain you.

Please reach out if I can help! Schedule a chat at THIS LINK so we ca connect!

Call me at 707-515-8324!

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Sweet Release

Sugar is a pervasive, powerful substance.  

It makes us feel good when we eat it. It elevates our mood more effectively than prescription drugs. Sugar can serve as a symbolic substitute for love or intimacy.  Alcoholics getting sober frequently turn to sugar as a replacement habit, and find it gives them a lot of the same benefits as booze. Sugar can numb our feelings, fill our boredom, calm our nerves, or bliss us out. Why wouldn’t we turn to sugar for all this relief?

When we were hunter gatherers and we found sugar in nature – generally in fruits and berries – biology told us to eat ALL of it because it was ripe for a very short time. That was fine for hunter gatherers because gathering sugary foods was limited to harvest season. Sugar helped us pack on a few pounds before winter when food would become scarce, and we would need body fat for fuel. Eating ALL the sugar is driven by our biology, much like bears fattening up for hibernation. We are biologically wired to eat all the sugar!

But these days, the “food” corporations put sugar into every box and package on the shelf. Sugar is everywhere and available 24/7. It’s the first drug children get hooked on, and “food” corporations use it to increase their profits. Sugar is cheaper than both protein and produce, and it HOOKS people into coming back for more by releasing a super dose of dopamine, what we normally think of as the happiness drug.

Millions of people are habituated to the sweet benefits of sugar, without necessarily realizing the long term harmful effects. We want our sugary treats. We don’t want to see sugar as the cause of our symptoms. I get it! 

My name is Cyndi and I am a sugar addict. Sugar has been a problem for me on and off and throughout my life. I tried repeatedly to let go of sugar. I suffered for years under the harmful effects of sugar. Some of my sugar-related symptoms included SIBO, diverticulitis, headaches, night sweats, irritability, brain fog, fatigue, extreme pain from slipped discs in my lumbar spine due to inflammation in my intestines, which caused me to be off work for weeks at a time without pay.

I had to connect the dots between my fatigue and the sugar, between my constant symptoms and the constant underlying inflammation induced by sugar.

Long term sugar use can be as powerful a pattern to release as alcohol or tobacco abuse, and it takes awareness to finally let it go.

Sugar causes inflammation.

According to Harvard Health: Too much added sugar can be one of the greatest threats to cardiovascular disease. Consuming too much added sugar can raise blood pressure and increase chronic inflammation.  Research has shown that chronic inflammation is associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.

Gastroenterologist, Suhirdan Vivekanadarajah says excessive sugar can reduce beneficial bacteria leading to a leaky gut syndrome, and other serious health conditions. Too much sugar may also block the production of a protein associated with being lean.

According to Anthony William, refined sugar is the number one preferred food of viruses and tumors. He also has a GREAT article on how the natural sugars in fruit are different, and not to be avoided. According to Anthony, “Fruit is actually the most important food to eat when healing from disease.”

Am I saying we should not eat sugar? 

No. I am absolutely not saying that. Sugar is delicious and pleasurable, and in small amounts can be a wonderful addition to a special meal. I am saying that sugar is a powerful substance and it will benefit the health and wellbeing of many people to bring awareness to how much sugar we are truly consuming.

The dose makes the poison.

We don’t need to avoid refined sugar, but we absolutely want to avoid too much sugar.

  • Overusing sugar causes chronic inflammation associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.
  • Overusing sugar erodes our energy. We may feel an energy boost when the sugar hits our system, but a crash soon follows, and continuous use of sugar overall reduces the amount of energy available to us.
  • Overusing sugar can raise blood pressure.
  • Overusing sugar erodes gut health and immunity, making us more vulnerable to all sorts of disease.  
  • Overusing sugar erodes mental clarity. Brain fog is caused by high levels of inflammation.
  • Overusing sugar erodes our taste buds. Taste is an intelligence, so overusing sugar can dumb down our taste buds, so they are no longer as sensitive to healthy foods.
  • Overusing sugar can lead to poor digestion, lack of nutrient absorption, and contributes to protein deficiency.
  • Overusing sugar can lead to sugar cravings!
  • Overusing sugar leads to weight gain, and inability to release weight.
  • Overusing sugar can erode physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing, as well as our self esteem.

If you can’t imagine letting go of your daily habit of sweetness, you are not alone! Is it the taste that brings us back for more? Or is it the slight energy buzz it brings? Maybe it’s the relaxing effect we’re after, that comes post buzz.  

The reasons we reach for sugar are myriad, and unique for each of us. Those very same reasons are the key to releasing the overuse of sugar.  If we’re using sugar to cover uncomfortable feelings, it may be easier to experience those feelings and grow through them, than to endure the life long health effects of using sugar to cover them up.

Grow on!

Are you choosing sugar as a sweet treat, or as an escape plan?
How frequently are you choosing sugary foods?
How challenging would you find it to let go of sugar for a week?
Two weeks?

Create a list of all the foods you love that do NOT have added sugars.

Practicing this mantra in my power pose helps me say ‘no’ to extra helpings of sugar!

I lead a group called Relief through Release where I help other women let go of negative self-talk & self-criticism, and recreational sugar for 21 days!

Multiple levels allow you to choose to release just sugar – or many foods – depending on your needs and desires!

If you are interested in releasing sugar and self-criticism for a SHORT trial, please CLICK THIS LINK for complete information, and upcoming dates for Relief through Release Playgroup!

cyndicombs@gmail.com

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The Secret to Happiness

What is the secret to happiness?  Money?  Love?  Health?  Family?

While it’s possible for all of these to enhance happiness, it is also possible to have all of these in abundance and remain unhappy.

So if all that good stuff doesn’t guarantee happiness, what the heck can we do?!

Read my full blog post HERE on Sivana East!

The secret to a happy life is simple:
Relax. Recharge. Reframe. Repeat.

Just because something is simple does not mean it’s always easy.  If you need support figuring out any of these steps, sometimes coaching can help.  If you are considering hiring an energy coach, or a mind body eating coach, use this link to schedule a 30 minute chat.

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WTF is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I am super excited to be a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach trained at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating!

As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help.  Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I’m glad you asked!

While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.  

Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.

MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”

A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body.  MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.

This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.

So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?

Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:

  • Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
  • Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
  • Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
  • Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
  • Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:

“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo

“After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco

“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn.  She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo

“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole

Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to:
– Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
– Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
– Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
– Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
– Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

What do you have to lose?

Grow on!

If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat or a discovery session!

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Stop and Smell the Fucking Roses

Today would have been my grandmother’s one hundred eleventh birthday. She’s been gone since the late nineties, and I still miss her, but I never focus on her being gone.  I always think how blessed I was to have her wonderful energy in my life.  

Life is full of challenges that demand our time and energy. Sometimes they grab our attention so hard that for awhile that challenge is all we can think about. In our minds, we slow time and chew our options.  The subject constantly pops up uninvited. We may lie awake at night turning it over and over. When it slips out of mind, we almost reach to bring it back because we miss the familiar vibration.

I want us to learn to savor every blessing, every success, every step achieved toward our goal, every tiny triumph with the same single-minded focus that we use to worry!

Why?

The things that we look at, and think about are the things life brings us.

When we focus on hardship or challenge, Life brings us hardships and challenges.  When we focus on what we love and enjoy, Life brings us love and enjoyment. I want us to celebrate everything we love, and get infinitely MORE to love.

I want us to stop and smell the fucking roses!

I feel like roses are literally an invitation from Life to slow down enough to enjoy what’s right in front of us. Not all roses have scent anymore since they have been bred for beauty, so when we find a scented rose, it’s a moment to enjoy.  Let’s stop and enjoy it!

We’re always in such a hurry to rush into the next challenge that we often forget to celebrate finding a solution for the previous challenge. We can get so focused on the larger puzzle that we fail to give ourselves credit for all the pieces we’ve already fit neatly into place.  

If we have a goal to take a fabulous vacation, I invite us to enjoy thinking about it every chance we get! We want to enjoy exploring the area with Google image searches. We want to research fun places to stay, and activities we might enjoy and imagine ourselves being there.  We want to savor the trip long before it begins!

Equally, we can savor the trip long after it ends.  The moments that brought the greatest joy can be brought back to enjoy and appreciate until the day we die, if we invite them in to lift our hearts and delight us again.  We want to milk those special moments for all the pleasure, all the upliftment we can get.

If we have a goal to drop some excess weight, I invite us to celebrate every step in that direction.  Make a different choice for breakfast?  Do a happy dance! Stick to our food plan for the day?  Celebrate! Did we slow down to be present with our meals? That’s a HUGE win!  Woo hoo!  

Why wait to celebrate once the whole goal is reached, when we have the opportunity to create MORE success by acknowledging and celebrating every decision in service of that goal? When we applaud every step we make in that direction, Life brings us more success to applaud.

When we slow down to appreciate the roses, we get more roses.

Grow on!

In what ways do you celebrate success?
What milestones are you ready to celebrate?

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Listen to Your Body

As I explained in my post, Failed Fucking Fairy Tales,
there are no magic fucking beans.

There is no one right answer that fits every body. There is no food plan that is perfect for every human, no exercise prescription that suits every life, no one plan that will create the a healthy body/life for every person.  That’s why we can’t just read a book, follow all the guidelines, and create our body in whatever image we deem perfection.  If there were one right way to transform our body, that “way” would have been discovered and marketed for zillions.  

There are billions of dollars being made annually by diet systems, workout plans, and nutritional supplements, but have you noticed how different they all are?  Some say eat large amounts of protein, some dictate no protein at all.  Other diets are non-fat, while still others include healthy fats at every meal.  Some are effective for some people.  All of them claim to be the magic bean – the one system that works miracles. 

While it’s true that many of these methods may be effective for some – at least short term – how do we know which one works for us?

If you feel confused or frustrated around this topic, it’s with good reason!

What should I eat?  What exercise should I do?

These questions have been documented and debated to death for decades.  It’s no wonder so many people are confused about what works and what is hype!

So how do we do what is best for our health and our body?  If I have a goal to transform my body in some way, what is the best approach for me?

There is only one authority on your body and your health: YOUR Body.

If we ask the body what it needs and then listen, our body will clearly tell us what is beneficial and nourishing, and what is not.

This is a super simple technique, but it requires slowing down and being present.  In our fast-paced society where time is in short supply, we rarely do that.  But if you are telling me that some kind of transformation is your goal, slowing down and being present will allow you to find your way.  YOUR way, the way that most benefits you.  

The path to the healthy body you desire will not be found in books, but in slowing down and really listening to what your body says.  This takes practice, and patience, and time.

Elimination Diet – 

The elimination diet is one of the BEST ways to help people find out what is, or is not, working for their health and their body.  An elimination diet is NOT a diet meant to sustain us for life.  It is meant to be used over a few weeks to discover which foods we eat regularly are not serving our health.

The main thing I want to tell you is that NOTHING IS FOREVER.  Many people won’t try the elimination diet because they fear they will find out they are allergic to a food they love, and will have to give it up forever. 

Nothing is forever.  This is just an experiment to see how different foods nourish or deplete the body.  Even if you discover that you are allergic to something, you don’t have to give it up!  That’s a choice you get to make.  We make better choices when we are informed, so this is simply a way to gather information.

Think of the elimination diet as a playful experiment to uncover valuable treasure.  In this case, the treasure is information that allows us to make choices to improve our health and transform our body.  There are myriad reasons one may wish to undertake a playful experiment with the elimination diet.  Many kinds of digestive complaints are eradicated with an elimination diet.  Many people release all kinds of other issues including skin problems, headaches, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, sleep issues, low energy,  brain fog, and more!  Many people accept these issues as a normal part of life, when they may actually be caused by something we are eating regularly.  If you suffer with any of these, wouldn’t it be AWESOME to be able to stop the suffering?

The elimination diet is a very simple basic experiment that anyone can try without paying a dime.  Since it’s not profitable, we don’t hear about it.  It doesn’t have an advertising budget.  The elimination diet provides specific answers right for YOU.  Then, armed with body wisdom, you get to choose.

I will briefly discuss each step below, but I attach a PDF HERE from the University of Wisconsin Integrative Medicine that explains the details fully. 

Grow on!

Explore which foods enhance your life, and which foods are depleting your energy.

Step 1 – Planning
• Decide which foods to avoid, which to include.
Ask yourself a few key questions: 
– What foods do I eat most often? 
– What foods do I crave? 
– What foods do I eat to “feel better”? 
– What foods would I have trouble giving up? 
– What foods have I noticed symptoms of irritation when I eat them? (Runny nose, burning sinus, upset digestion, low energy, headache, etc.)
• Make a list of the foods from your answers above, and any from the list below that your health care practitioner advises:
Foods problematic for many people:
Dairy
Gluten 
Soy
Corn
Eggs
Peanuts
Tree nuts
Citrus
Shellfish

The list you just made is your list of foods to avoid for 2 weeks.
• Now make a list of foods you CAN include! 

Step 2 – Avoiding
Enjoy eating from the “Eat this” list.
Avoid foods on your “avoid this” list
• For 2 weeks, avoid the foods that may be causing issues.  Many people notice health symptoms improve in the first few days.

Step 3 – Challenging 
• If your symptoms have not improved in two weeks, stop the diet and talk with your health care practitioner about whether or not to try it again with a different combination of foods. 

• If your symptoms improve, start “challenging” your body with the eliminated foods, one food group at a time. As you do this, keep a written record of your symptoms. 

To challenge your body, add a new food group every three days. It takes three days to be sure that your symptoms have time to come back if they are going to.

Step 4 – Choosing
• Based on your results, choose which foods you want to continue eating, which foods to let go, and which foods you want to eat in smaller amounts.

If you would like further guidance in creating a sustainable way of eating, and a happy relationship with food and body, please, schedule a free 30-minute chat HERE to see if I’m the right Mind Body Eating Coach for you! 

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Celebrate the Body!

Over my nearly 20 years as a massage therapist, I’ve seen hundreds of clients over nearly five thousand office hours.  I’ve seen every shape and size of body, but the one thing I’ve seen that every single body has in common is that it is truly a miracle, without doubt.  You may have forgotten that your body is a miracle, and if that’s true for you, you are in the majority, because most of us have.  

We forget about breathing because we don’t have to think about it.  Our miraculous lungs do that for us.  We do not have to think about making our heart beat, so it’s easy to take it for granted and forget that our entire form is a miracle.  When a baby is born – our children and grandchildren – we glimpse the miracle of human life, we may even remember that we are also miracles.  But days, weeks, months, years later we simply don’t think about it because we don’t have to.

Our miracle bodies often take enormous abuse and neglect before breaking down.  They support us 24/7 without ever stopping – even while we sleep – until they stop for good, then our Soul/Spirit/Energy moves on without the body.  The true essence of Who We Are moves on, and leaves the body like an astronaut stepping out of her spacesuit.

Our spacesuit supports life, so it’s worth taking care!  We care for all kinds of things; plants, kids, cars, pets.  If you own a home, you take care of it.  The body is no different!  It is the home for the physical experience of your eternal being.  Our body is supposed to be loved and nourished in return for all it gives us.  Our physical body is meant to be enjoyed while we are in it, and it’s so much easier to enjoy when it’s feeling great.

It’s super easy to fall out of the habit of self-care! 

I’ve been fascinated for years by something I have observed as both a massage therapist and a life/health coach.  I have observed that any time humans feel short on time or money, we let go of the things that serve us best to make space for the “have-tos” in life.  We focus on finances and chase work hours at the expense of our health.  We take care of parents or children, and let go of our own spiritual and physical needs.  Most of us assume that at some point things will calm down and we’ll get back to the yoga class or the spiritual practice when we have more time.

I invite you to celebrate your spacesuit NOW!  That miracle you’re wearing has been with you, supported you, given you life 24/7 since you arrived here.  I invite you to celebrate that amazing feat, that miraculous performance, that steadfast support, in whatever way feels satisfying to you!

Honor the temple that houses your eternal spirit in ways that elevate your spirit!

The following is a short/incomplete list of little daily acts that honor/celebrate/nourish the body.

Brush & floss teeth.
Wash hair.
Moisturize skin.
Eat slowly.
Choose foods that nourish YOU (different for everyone.)
Be present when you eat.
Rest. (Two ten minute relaxation periods a day do wonders.)
Hydrate. 
Soak in the tub.
Move in ways that feel good.
Make love.
Focus on breathing.
Get a massage/facial/mani-pedi.
Walk barefoot in the grass or sand.
Ask the body what it wants and LISTEN to what it’s saying. (MORE on this in my next post!)

Grow on!

Make a list of ways you are already celebrating your body.
Congratulate yourself for all the things you already do.  That’s awesome!
Look at the list above and pick one or two that sound really great to you.
Add them to your schedule and try them out.