I encourage clients to do whatever the fuck they need to do to raise their vibration, and keep it high as frequently as possible.
Cyndi’s Fabulous Fucking Toy Box is overflowing with resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive. These are just a few ideas, and I highly encourage everyone to identify the people, places, and activities that infuse their life with joy and leave them feeling energized and eager for life!
Walking my Talk
Because I practice what I preach, I am spending this weekend in McKinleyville at the beach. When it comes to things that raise MY vibe, nature is numero uno. ‘Beach’ happens to be my favorite category of nature, so I try to incorporate it into my life as often as possible.
Something else that maintains my vibe is spending time with my daughter and grandson, so they’ve come to the beach with me!
You’re worth it!
Go to the beach. Rent a house with a water view. Go for a hike in the Redwoods. Spend time with the people you love. Write a poem. Sing a song. Enjoy a sunset. Paint the sunrise. Spend your time and money doing things that charge your fucking batteries.
We are infinite beings with eternal lives. WHY did we choose to come here, if not to enjoy our time on this beautiful planet?
Grow on!
What truly brings your heart joy? What’s keeping you from doing that? When can you schedule an opportunity to allow some joy?
When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.
In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.
My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly.
He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me. I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.
After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.
Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?
The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.
I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.
I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.
That’s right. You heard me.
If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again!
So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release.
What can we do about this confusing challenge?
It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!
It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.
Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.
Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.
Somewhere to begin.
Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!
ABC Process
Awareness Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.
Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:
Breathe Take a nice deep grounding breath.
Choose Choose love. Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.
It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up.
When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!
Somewhere to practice.
Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing.
If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.
Grow on!
Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.
Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.
Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!
Millions of thoughts pop into our heads every day. Some of them are constructive, and some, not so much. Some of them feel wonderful, and some create fear. Some inspire confidence, others manifest self-doubt.
The trick is to remember that if they pop in uninvited, you only need to entertain the ones you enjoy!
I talk to my clients all the time about “milking the moment” when they have a thought that feels wonderful. We want to hang onto those as long as we can, and really milk them for every drop of pleasure that we can get.
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what we enjoy, the more the Universe brings us to enjoy!
So what about those thoughts that pop in unannounced that are destructive, fear filled, and confidence crushing? My advice is to get rid of them the instant we become aware of them.
It’s perfectly understandable, when experiencing a financial or medical uncertainty, that scary thoughts and worst case scenarios might pop into out head. But these thoughts are here without invitation, so we don’t throw them a big party and invite them to stay!
As soon as I notice that my mind has wandered into a scary neighborhood, I quickly repeat “nope, nope, nope!” It’s like a little energy canceling mantra I use to retrieve my energy from unwanted territory. The quicker I can catch myself, and redirect with “nope, nope, nope” the better!
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what is unwanted, the more the Universe brings us what is unwanted!
Of course we occasionally must focus on something we’d rather not, like preparing our taxes. But I’m talking about creating stories in our head of unreal events that may never happen. It’s a HUGE, and completely unnecessary, waste of our energy. The faster we vacate that territory, the calmer, happier, and more energized we will feel!
Nope, nope, nope!
Then we can intentionally shift attention onto something we DO want to attract. We can entertain best case scenarios and visualize those. Or if the energy is currently too charged around that topic, shift subjects entirely and focus on something that is sure to lift your energy and inspire you. Your grandkids, your pet, crafts or hobbies, podcasts meant to inspire. Whatever it is for you.
After the nope, nope, nope disrupts the negative energy, focus on anything that allows you to feel uplifted, happy, empowered, or inspired.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you currently entertaining that could use a good “Nope, nope, nope!”?
Create a list of as many people, places, and practices you can think of that never fail to comfort you, or make you feel amazing.
For an incomplete list of resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive, check out my fabulous fucking toy box at THIS LINK!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.
We are not weak willed. We are not broken. There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.
This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!
This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.
Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.
Overeating is rooted in…
The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.
Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.
STRESS
The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.
FAST EATING
Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING
Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel.
When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?
MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS
Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive. Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut
have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
are vital to reproductive function. Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.
There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.
LOW NUTRIENT FOODS
If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.
MEAL SKIPPING
Appetite is our friend. Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.
Eating when hungry = Life.
Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.
If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.
It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.
Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!
The Kindness Key
Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!
Kindness First! Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time.
We feel bad, we eat food,we feel better.
It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.
When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself!
When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.
When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.
Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle.
We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.
The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.
I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).
The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively.
This is how we break the cycle.
NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.
Kindness unlocks Curiosity!
Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!
We can ask questions like:
What triggered the overeating?
What thought was I thinking?
What emotion was I trying to soothe?
What was I really hungry for?
What would have been most nourishing for me?
How can I soothe myself other than with food?
Curiosity increases our Awareness!
We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.
Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.
Grow on!
If you are overeating, you are not alone.
Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
First and foremost, you are God. The energy animating our flesh is Divine Source energy, or what people like to call God.
Your core energy is Divine. My core energy is Divine. Their core energy is Divine.
Every one of us is an expression of the Divine Source energy that created everything in the Universe. We are absolutely perfect despite whatever flaws or shortcomings we think we perceive. When we begin with this understanding, it’s easy to see that no one is better than anyone. We are all equal, all One energy.
How other people think, and speak about me is NONE of my business because it has NOTHING to do with me.
What other people think of me, and how they treat me has NOTHING to do with me.
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only ONE thing, and it’s NOT me!
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only one thing: How in alignment, or out of alignment they are with their own core energy.
How in alignment, or out of alignment THEY are with THEIR own core energy. (Not my energy.) It has NOTHING to do with me.
Trying to figure out why they don’t like me, or why they treated me like that, or what I did “wrong” is a complete WASTE of energy! Trying to change their mind is also a huge waste of energy, and generally backfires because we feel defensive.
Does it feel good to be liked by others?
Absolutely!
Is it necessary for your wellbeing?
Not a chance.
If we live in such a way as to BE what someone else wants us to be, we are not our true authentic self. To BE the YOU that you came here to be, you must learn to listen to the guidance INSIDE of YOU. When we look outside for guidance, it’s complete chaos!
Why?
Have you ever tried to get EVERYBODY, or even a large group of people to agree on ANYTHING? Everyone has their own idea about what’s right or wrong, or effective, based ONLY on their own experience and viewpoint. They do NOT have a guide book with hard and fast rules that work for every life.
Diet as an example. How much do people agree on what the perfect weight loss plan is? Do you see that working for EVERYONE?
WHY follow a path that someone ELSE is excited and passionate about when you can choose to follow a path that excites YOU, and that YOU are passionate about? If we follow a path made of other people’s opinions, the magnificent fullness of who you came here to BE cannot be realized, and you are cheating the world out of the unique perspective, the individual viewpoint that is YOU.
This is the definition of giving away your power.
This does not mean we can’t live a life that serves others, or in service to others – as long as we CHOOSE it for ourselves. If you are living a life of service because someone else wants you to, FUCK that!
And we don’t want to choose service to others ABOVE serving our own needs! You are not an afterthought! You are the central character in your own story.
I worry that others are judging me!
This thought is a mirror in two ways.
1- You judge yourself harshly, so you see them judging you. 2- You are judging them to be judgers in the process.
No one is ever judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. If they do, cut them out of your life, or minimize time spent with them, or set healthy boundaries by telling them to stop it.
The more you love yourself, the less harshly you criticize yourself, the easier it will be to see them as less critical, and less judgemental.
While you are not giving a fuck about what people think, I would also LOVE for you to not give a fuck what people do!
Other people are not the boss of you. You are also not the boss of them!
They get to choose what they think is right and best for them. When we try to choose for them, our energy becomes entangled.
Energy entanglements DRAIN us!
Think how much energy it takes to make decisions for yourself and run your own life. Do you REALLY have the energy to also do that for everyone you love, and strangers too?
If so, WHERE on earth did you find that rule book titled This is the ONE right way for everyone! by R.O. Gant?
HUGE energy drain, and…
This is the definition of taking away their power, and we drain our own power when we try.
Short of situations where someone is harming you or others, take a deep breath and let that shit go!
What are triggers? Triggers are a golden fucking opportunities to expand our awareness, and grow through challenge. Triggers are gifts from the Universe, pointing to that which needs our attention.
Triggers are personal to each of us, and they generally piss us off, or generate some other strong, emotional response. They’re the things that get under our skin, which DEMAND a reaction from us. Often we can’t NOT react. And frequently, looking back, we wish we had acted in some other way instead of the way we reacted.
Generally triggers are accompanied by a feeling of stress. Whether we react, or hold back the reaction we feel, stress or anxiety are activated inside us. Sometimes we also beat ourselves up for having reacted. (Why did I let them get to me? I should be past this by now! What’s wrong with me? Or similar thoughts.) This can add shame to the toxic mixture of emotions already triggered within us, and increases our perceived stress.
Humans get triggered by all sorts of things. Think repeated behaviors that annoy, like a partner dropping dirty clothes on the floor, leaving dishes in the sink, or not calling when they will be late. These behaviors don’t trigger me – and maybe not you either – but they are triggers for many people. Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Coworkers, children, politicians, parents, or pets can all trigger us for different reasons.
Recently I was speaking with a client who has two new kittens that she adores. They are young, and energetic, and often misbehave and steal small, important objects and hide them out of reach. As we were talking, a new game popped into my head.
What if every time the misbehaved kittens trigger frustration, we create an opportunity for self-love instead?
Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care
I suggested she make a list of everything she considers self-care, write each item on a slip of paper, and place the slips of paper into a hat, a fishbowl, or a fancy box. Then every time the kittens misbehave, she reaches into the fishbowl and pulls out a self-care prize, instead of shooting herself in the foot with stress, reactivity, blame, and shame.
She loved the idea, and so do I! I encourage everyone to play.
The game allows us to be triggered into self care, and replace stress-building reactions with desirable actions that reduce stress and build healthy habits! Of course you don’t need misbehaved kittens to play. You could play Annoying Coworker Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or Inattentive Spouse Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or my current personal favorite, Puppy Poops on the Carpet Russian Roulette of Self-Care.
So how do you define self-care?
Anything qualifies that makes YOU feel cared for, held, and supported. The header contains lots of great possibilities for self-care, and below is a short list. I encourage you to personalize your list to include your favorites, and only use those that truly resonate for you. Some women love to get pedicures and look forward to them as a pampering treatment. Others find them tedious, and don’t enjoy having their feet touched. There is no right or wrong. It’s about whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, cared for, and loved.
Self-Care possibilities:
Make a gratitude list. Dance for 5 to 10 minutes. Schedule a massage. Journal. Get a mani-pedi. Journal while you get a mani-pedi. Fix a cup of your favorite tea. Take a nap. Sing your favorite song, and really belt it out. Do some mirror work. Take 10 slow deep breaths. Take a 10 minute yoga break. Sit in the jacuzzi. Take a walk. Spend time in the sun. Write yourself a love note. Go to bed early. Call an uplifting friend. Look at beautiful photos of nature. Create art.
Grow on!
Make your own list of self-care. Write each item on a slip of paper. Place them in a container that pleases you. Now when you feel triggered, you can choose to react by reaching for self-care.
I don’t feel like writing a fucking blog post today. I don’t see any sunny side at the moment. I am not inspired, nor do I feel inspiring. My dog had surgery yesterday and kept me awake all night trying to get the cone off his head. I have a tension headache the size of Montana. My spine is out of alignment causing me to be off work, so my finances feel out of alignment. My perspective is out of alignment with my higher self, and my human is screaming WTF?!
I don’t even want to listen to my favorite podcast to try and lift my vibe! What’s wrong with me?! WHY is everything going wrong? What did I DO to deserve this mess!?
Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckitall!
I rest my head in my hands, rub my temples and take a deep breath. When I find I haven’t the energy to scream, I exhale with force through gritted teeth.
In that small, quiet space following my exhale, I can hear my higher being for just a moment, just long enough to whisper my new mantra to me.
Nothing has gone wrong. Everything is perfect. All is well.
“Well it sure doesn’t FEEL as if all is fucking well,” I retort with just as much snark as I can muster. But I have softened. Just a bit, but enough.
I know enough to know that even if I can’t see the gift (the lesson my soul is hungry to learn) in the moment, my new mantra is right. Nothing ever goes wrong. All goes according to Divine plan. I trust the Universe to have my back, which means I can relax, and right now relaxation is exactly what I need.
Nothing has gone wrong.
I am simply having a human experience – not good nor bad – just human. Sometimes we get out of alignment with our highest self, and that’s ok! That’s part of the plan, to get out of alignment and find our way back. And it’s fine if I don’t want to find my way back right this minute! We can always learn something from spending time in misalignment. Sometimes we learn it in the moment, and sometimes we learn in hindsight, but simply remembering that nothing has gone wrong, allows us to relax a bit, allows the resistance to soften.
I’m still exhausted from not sleeping, but I am no longer shoulding on myself. I don’t beat myself up for being out of alignment. I accept it as part of being human, part of my experience, and give myself a fucking break!
In fact, I do deserve a break. I think I’ll schedule a massage, and if any voices in my head try to tell me I don’t deserve it, they can fuck right the hell off.
Yeah. I’m feeling better!
Practice my new mantra for awhile if it feels good to you.
Or find a mantra that reminds you of your power and practice that. I find that it really helps. Especially on the shitty days.
How often do you charge your cell phone? Put gas in your car?
WHY so freaking often?!
Because when we use something constantly, that’s how fast the energy gets consumed.
Now, how often do you use your body? And how frequently are you charging your batteries? Do you know how to refuel your own energy?
These are crucial questions to consider, and ones I ask my clients every week. One of the biggest reasons we can feel depleted is because we have no idea how to fuel up, fill our reserves, charge our batteries. The things that drain our energy are unending, and come at us all day every day. Just lying still breathing requires some energy! If we actually go out in the world to school, careers, social engagements, and all the rest, we are constantly spending our energy supply.
If we are not making space in our schedule to recharge, or have no idea where to go to plug in, is it any wonder we feel drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed?
We can optimize health and energy by defining what recharges us (energy gains), and releasing any energy drains that are optional.
Killing Time vs. Creating Fun
Just to be clear – relaxed scrolling, or watching TV is not the same as being plugged in. There is nothing wrong with those activities, but they can’t really be counted as recharging. It’s kind of like not charging the phone, but not using it either. We end up with no net loss or gain in energy. Our battery charger MUST be plugged in for a gain in energy to occur, so simple “down-time” activities like scrolling social media or watching entertainment are not inherently energy building and should not be included when listing energy gains.
Rather than helping us disengage (like watching or scrolling), energy gains are usually things that engage our energy and feel like fun. With this distinction in mind, we can begin to define a list of people, places, and practices in our lives that actually feed us energy and fuel us up, and which ones drain our energy and leave us feeling exhausted and empty inside.
The lists below are merely suggestions to get us thinking about what fills us with joy, and where we actually choose to spend our energy supply. They are not meant to be all inclusive.
Maximize Energy Gains
Any self-care practices you already do, or want to begin doing.
Spend time in nature.
Look at beautiful nature photography.
Enjoy nature videos on YouTube.
Move your body in any way that’s FUN.
Read uplifting books and articles. – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM!
Listen to inspiring podcasts. – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM, but with your ears.
Talk to a coach or therapist. – This is an excellent way to personalize a shift in mindset.
Breathe deeply.
Relax often.
Slow down with meals to gain more pleasure from your food.
Offer yourself unconditional love. – This takes practice, and often requires support from others.
Frequently tell yourself and others what you appreciate in them.
Hug everyone.
Say what you think always, but say it with love. – Speaking our truth is essential for health, and so is not harming others with our words or emotions.
Schedule time to do the things that make you happy! – THIS is the key to increasing the energy available to us!
Dive into my toy box and find lots inspiring ideas!
Play with any or all of these as feels right in your experience!
Minimize Energy Drains
Negative self talk! – This is the most energy draining activity humans do.
Neglecting self-care.
Judging self and others. – Everyone is right where we need to be, and doing the best we can in each moment.
Negative emotions like anger, frustration, irritation, depression, fear, guilt, worry… – These are NORMAL human emotions to feel and then move through, and they drain our energy when we get stuck in them.
Doing things you do NOT want to do. – Don’t force yourself to say yes when you want to say no.
NOT doing things you want to do! – Not doing what charges our batteries drains our energy double time.
Limiting beliefs. – Any thought we keep thinking that keeps us from moving forward.
Taking things personally. – Their behavior is never about me and always about them.
Clutter, disorganization. – Visual clutter can drain our energy.
Overuse of caffeine, sugar, or alcohol. – There is nothing wrong with using some caffeine, sugar, or alcohol, and overuse of any of these powerful substances will deplete our energy.
Play with watching what shows up in your experience. Play with identifying where your energy is leaking. Play with letting go of these as you become willing to release them!
Once we create our own lists, we are able to make choices based on how much energy we have, and how we most want to spend it!
Grow on!
Try creating your own lists of what fills your fuel tank and what leaves you feeling empty! Then schedule some of the battery chargers in your calendar, and play with letting go of some of the behaviors that drain you.
Please reach out if I can help! Schedule a chat at THIS LINK so we ca connect!
It makes us feel good when we eat it. It elevates our mood more effectively than prescription drugs. Sugar can serve as a symbolic substitute for love or intimacy. Alcoholics getting sober frequently turn to sugar as a replacement habit, and find it gives them a lot of the same benefits as booze. Sugar can numb our feelings, fill our boredom, calm our nerves, or bliss us out. Why wouldn’t we turn to sugar for all this relief?
When we were hunter gatherers and we found sugar in nature – generally in fruits and berries – biology told us to eat ALL of it because it was ripe for a very short time. That was fine for hunter gatherers because gathering sugary foods was limited to harvest season. Sugar helped us pack on a few pounds before winter when food would become scarce, and we would need body fat for fuel. Eating ALL the sugar is driven by our biology, much like bears fattening up for hibernation. We are biologically wired to eat all the sugar!
But these days, the “food” corporations put sugar into every box and package on the shelf. Sugar is everywhere and available 24/7. It’s the first drug children get hooked on, and “food” corporations use it to increase their profits. Sugar is cheaper than both protein and produce, and it HOOKS people into coming back for more by releasing a super dose of dopamine, what we normally think of as the happiness drug.
Millions of people are habituated to the sweet benefits of sugar, without necessarily realizing the long term harmful effects. We want our sugary treats. We don’t want to see sugar as the cause of our symptoms. I get it!
My name is Cyndi and I am a sugar addict. Sugar has been a problem for me on and off and throughout my life. I tried repeatedly to let go of sugar. I suffered for years under the harmful effects of sugar. Some of my sugar-related symptoms included SIBO, diverticulitis, headaches, night sweats, irritability, brain fog, fatigue, extreme pain from slipped discs in my lumbar spine due to inflammation in my intestines, which caused me to be off work for weeks at a time without pay.
I had to connect the dots between my fatigue and the sugar, between my constant symptoms and the constant underlying inflammation induced by sugar.
Long term sugar use can be as powerful a pattern to release as alcohol or tobacco abuse, and it takes awareness to finally let it go.
Sugar causes inflammation.
According to Harvard Health: Too much added sugar can be one of the greatest threats to cardiovascular disease. Consuming too much added sugar can raise blood pressure and increase chronic inflammation. Research has shown that chronic inflammation is associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.
Gastroenterologist, Suhirdan Vivekanadarajah says excessive sugar can reduce beneficial bacteria leading to a leaky gut syndrome, and other serious health conditions. Too much sugar may also block the production of a protein associated with being lean.
According to Anthony William, refined sugar is the number one preferred food of viruses and tumors. He also has a GREAT article on how the natural sugars in fruit are different, and not to be avoided. According to Anthony, “Fruit is actually the most important food to eat when healing from disease.”
Am I saying we should not eat sugar?
No. I am absolutely not saying that. Sugar is delicious and pleasurable, and in small amounts can be a wonderful addition to a special meal. I am saying that sugar is a powerful substance and it will benefit the health and wellbeing of many people to bring awareness to how much sugar we are truly consuming.
The dose makes the poison.
We don’t need to avoid refined sugar, but we absolutely want to avoid too much sugar.
Overusing sugar causes chronic inflammation associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.
Overusing sugar erodes our energy. We may feel an energy boost when the sugar hits our system, but a crash soon follows, and continuous use of sugar overall reduces the amount of energy available to us.
Overusing sugar can raise blood pressure.
Overusing sugar erodes gut health and immunity, making us more vulnerable to all sorts of disease.
Overusing sugar erodes mental clarity. Brain fog is caused by high levels of inflammation.
Overusing sugar erodes our taste buds. Taste is an intelligence, so overusing sugar can dumb down our taste buds, so they are no longer as sensitive to healthy foods.
Overusing sugar can lead to poor digestion, lack of nutrient absorption, and contributes to protein deficiency.
Overusing sugar can lead to sugar cravings!
Overusing sugar leads to weight gain, and inability to release weight.
Overusing sugar can erode physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing, as well as our self esteem.
If you can’t imagine letting go of your daily habit of sweetness, you are not alone! Is it the taste that brings us back for more? Or is it the slight energy buzz it brings? Maybe it’s the relaxing effect we’re after, that comes post buzz.
The reasons we reach for sugar are myriad, and unique for each of us. Those very same reasons are the key to releasing the overuse of sugar. If we’re using sugar to cover uncomfortable feelings, it may be easier to experience those feelings and grow through them, than to endure the life long health effects of using sugar to cover them up.
Grow on!
Are you choosing sugar as a sweet treat, or as an escape plan? How frequently are you choosing sugary foods? How challenging would you find it to let go of sugar for a week? Two weeks?
Create a list of all the foods you love that do NOT have added sugars.
Practicing this mantra in my power pose helps me say ‘no’ to extra helpings of sugar!
I lead a group called Relief through Releasewhere I help other women let go of negative self-talk & self-criticism, and recreational sugar for 21 days!
Multiple levels allow you to choose to release just sugar – or many foods – depending on your needs and desires!
If you are interested in releasing sugar and self-criticism for a SHORT trial, please CLICK THIS LINK for complete information, and upcoming dates for Relief through Release Playgroup!
The secret to a happy life is simple: Relax. Recharge. Reframe. Repeat.
Just because something is simple does not mean it’s always easy. If you need support figuring out any of these steps, sometimes coaching can help. If you are considering hiring an energy coach, or a mind body eating coach, use this link to schedule a 30 minute chat.
