Most of my clients live to serve others. Nurses, parents, teachers, supervisors, business owners. All of these people have a lot of things they want and need to do, but doing what WE need or want is often at the bottom of our to-do list, AFTER all the stuff we do for others.
It’s human nature! It’s the way we have been conditioned.
Why do my workout when I can fold the laundry in service of the household, or cover a shift for a busy co-worker? Why take time to meditate when there are so MANY things on my to-do list? It seems so selfish to rest when I could help a friend instead.
If any of these thoughts resonate for you, you may feel exhausted a lot of the time. Many of my clients tell me they feel selfish when they take time for themselves, or that they simply do NOT have time to do things that they want to do because they are too busy.
Is a cell phone selfish for needing to be charged?
Is a toddler selfish for napping?
Of course not. We know that the charging and napping are a natural part of the cycle for the phone and the toddler. It’s the same with us!
In serving our own needs, we are not being selfish.
We are completing the cycle.
We can’t just give and give and never fill ourselves back up.
When we try, we get sick. We get symptoms of stress. We feel resentful towards others. We may overeat in an attempt to soothe our emotions. If any of this sounds familiar, you are not alone. If someone you love comes to you and tells you she has no time to do the thing she loves to do, what advice would you give to her? Most of us would encourage them to do THAT, to make time for it because we can see how important it is for them.
What fills YOU up?
If you are not sure, think about things you USED to do that made you feel engaged, creative, excited, or happy. If you enjoyed dance classes in your youth, maybe there is a local class to join, or maybe you can put music on in your living room and just move your body. What’s stopping you? If we’re too tired, maybe we need a rest day, or maybe our battery needs charging. In the latter case dancing will increase our energy, not deplete it!
Many of us need to take a rest day. When was your last day off that wasn’t full of errands and housework? Allow yourself to schedule a day (or an hour) where you actually rest! Take a nap. Try restorative yoga. Sit and watch the sunlight sparkle on water. Try just being instead of doing for a little while.
Figure out what feeds your soul, and feed it daily. Or at least weekly. Maybe once in a while?
The more we charge our batteries, the more energy we have for any cause we want to serve. It sounds SO simple, yet most of us resist it because our culture has conditioned us to resist it, to keep moving, keep producing.
Society wants us to prove our worth through action, but we are worthy because we exist. Once we accept our worth, it becomes vastly easier to see the value in giving ourselves whatever we need to thrive.
Grow on!
What do you need right now?
How soon can you fit it into your schedule?
