The Holiday Gauntlet: Willpower Isn’t the Problem

From Halloween to the Super Bowl, it’s one long buffet of temptation.

One of my clients works in a big government building where the reception desk is overflowing with free candy at this time of year. She said that every trip to her office feels like running a gauntlet of sweets.

She says she can easily resist in the morning, but by afternoon, her willpower is gone. That makes perfect sense! Willpower is like a battery that drains throughout the day. By the time we hit that mid-afternoon slump, we can be running on fumes.

I’ve been there more times than I can count. We start the day with strong intentions, only to fall into familiar patterns later on. Sometimes we’re halfway through the behavior before we even realize it.

If this sounds familiar to you, you’re not alone! And it’s not human weakness. It’s biological wiring.

Humans evolved as hunter-gatherers. When our ancestors found sweet berries or ripe fruit, they ate them — all of them. The food wouldn’t last, so “eat it while you can” was smart survival behavior. Our brains are still wired that way, even though today we are surrounded by endless availability all year long.

Nowhere is that more obvious than the modern holiday season.

From Halloween to the Super Bowl, we’re swimming in sugar, fat, alcohol, and food nostalgia. Every celebration comes with “special” treats we feel eagerly “obligated” to eat. Family members show love through cooking. Stress pushes us toward dopamine-rich comfort foods. And those familiar old beliefs start whispering:

• I have to eat pie on Thanksgiving.
• I can’t resist chocolate.
• It’s the holidays — I’ll get back on track later.

Sound familiar?

When we repeat those mantras, we train ourselves to believe them. We convince ourselves we’re powerless. So of course, when the fudge or cheese ball shows up, we say, “yes please!” 

When we are over-full and frustrated we start shaming ourselves for “failing to use self-control.”

It’s a slippery fucking slope.

I like the word gauntlet because it has two meanings:

1. A dangerous experience one must go through to reach a goal.
2. A punishment of receiving blows while running between two rows of men with sticks.

The first meaning fits the buffet line. The second describes what happens after, when we beat ourselves up mentally.

How was Halloween this year? How do you feel about your choices?

If your energy sinks when you ask yourself those questions, notice that. That heavy feeling is what self-judgment feels like, and it’s one of the biggest things keeping us stuck in the pattern.

We try to change, slip up, judge ourselves harshly, and then eat to soothe the shame. This common cycle repeats again and again, draining our energy and leaving us depleted.

The good news? There’s a way to stop swinging that stick at yourself.

In next week’s blog post, we’ll explore how to shift that inner voice, that inner bully, into a loyal friend who helps you heal.

Grow on!
This week I invite you to just notice. Take note of when you speak harshly to yourself. For what types of behaviors do you judge yourself? What do you think of others when they display those behaviors?

What sorts of things are you saying to yourself? How would you feel if someone else said that to you? How would you feel if you said them to someone else?

Just start to notice your behavior. The first step in changing behavior is always awareness.