Discomfort Foods

I love food!  A little too much maybe?

Humans love delicious food to celebrate the good times,
and we use food to soothe ourselves during challenging times.

Facebook meme – March 2020

Self-soothing with food is something to which most of us relate, though I’ve heard people say they don’t like the term ‘self-soothing’
or that self-soothing is for wussies.  But if you are stress-eating,
or using food to deal with anxiety, push away discomfort, or buffer uncomfortable emotions, you are self-soothing with food.  What’s your favorite comfort food?  Pizza?  Mac & cheese?  Chicken soup?  Sugary sweets?  Sometimes it doesn’t matter what the food is, it’s the act of eating that soothes us simply by causing a momentary distraction.

One drawback to using food to soothe is that it tends to result in overeating and excess weight.  Comfort foods rarely include vegetables, and almost always include either high fat or processed sugar.  While neither of those is detrimental in small doses, if we are overeating them on a regular basis, they can cause physical discomfort, increased health risks, chemical imbalances, confusion, emotional fluctuations, and spiritual stress (due to being out of alignment with personal wellbeing goals). 

Used repeatedly as an anesthetic, soothing with food sets up the craving/reward cycle.

Cravings and Rewards

A bigger problem with using food to sooth discomfort is that we train ourselves into a cycle of craving and reward.  When we experience an emotion that is uncomfortable, then reach for food to dull our discomfort, we are rewarded with a little hit of dopamine. 

Dopamine is a chemical signal from our brain that we have done something that sustains life.  Our body regularly produces dopamine when we are warm, when we eat, when we have sex – because these things are necessary for survival.  The dopamine REWARDS us by making us feel good for a minute. 

We experience discomfort.  We soothe with food.  We receive a chemical reward of dopamine.  We experience discomfort, soothe with food, receive a reward.  Experience discomfort, soothe, receive reward.  Discomfort, soothe, reward.  Discomfort, soothe, reward.  

Repeat.  Repeat.  Repeat.

Our lizard brain now believes that the foods with which we soothe are necessary for survival.  When you try NOT to soothe with food, your mind will try to convince you that you will DIE if you do not indulge.  

Have you ever experienced a time when you felt you HAD to have something?  Where you felt you couldn’t NOT eat (smoke, drink, do) something, like you will DIE if you don’t?  That’s what that was about!  Your lizard brain actually thinks it will die without that dopamine reward.   Processed sugar produces a highly concentrated hit of dopamine, much higher than the amount we are normally rewarded for engaging in life-sustaining behaviors, so if you are self-soothing with sugary treats, the craving/reward cycle becomes much more powerful.

Despite what our lizard brain thinks, we will not DIE if we don’t get that sugary treat.  Imagine a six-year old throwing a tantrum because you won’t give her a candy bar.  She can scream and cry and throw the biggest fit full of snot and tears, but you know she’ll be fine.  She won’t die because you don’t give her the candy, right?  

Compromised Immune System

Another issue with using food as comfort is that it causes an overload of toxins that our body systems must deal with. While the body is focused on removing toxins from less-than-healthy food choices, it has less energy to keep the immune system strong to protect us from illness. And isn’t THAT what we’re all craving right now? Safety. Protection from harm. Food can’t give us that, but a strong immune system can. Protecting our immune system might be the number one reason at this time to avoid using food to soothe our challenging emotions.

Food is fuel.  It’s meant to efficiently power our physical body.  When we eat to soothe or comfort ourselves, we actually cause discomfort.  We experience physical discomfort or mental/emotional discomfort, even spiritual discomfort from misuse and overuse of food.

Food is NOT a healthful coping mechanism.  

Things are feeling really stressful for a LOT of people right now. 
No one will blame you if you overeat or if you eat foods you normally don’t eat, and you certainly won’t be the only one.  But if you want to comfort yourself in a healthy way, or soothe any anxiety you may be feeling, there are many ways to do that without using food.

Some effective ways to soothe without food include:

  • Physically place your hand on your heart and pet it. This is an amazingly effective technique for comfort!
  • Wrap your arms across your chest and around your own shoulders and give your self a long hug.  
  • Write yourself a letter and say every comforting thing you wish someone else were saying to you right now, or that you would say right now to a child whom you love with all your heart.
  • Get outdoors every day.  
  • If you can’t get outdoors, google gorgeous landscape photography and imagine yourself in the photograph! Your imagination is a powerful tool.
  • Take a walk, even if it’s indoors.
  • Go for a run.  
  • Put on your favorite song and dance around your living room.  
  • Call a good friend for a long chat.  
  • Journal about your emotions or about the circumstances you experience and what you are thinking about them.  
  • Talk to yourself as you would talk to a friend.  Have a full conversation about how you understand how hard this is, that you’re sorry you’re going through this, and remind yourself that you will get through this, that everything will work out again, whatever you would tell a close friend in this circumstance, tell it to YOU out loud so you hear it in your own voice.

Please list your favorite HEALTHY ways to cope or soothe
in the comments! I love hearing from my readers!

Coronavirus COUNTERPOINT

A steady diet of fear will make us fearful.

I am a fairly fearless person, and I have been feeling an undercurrent of fear in my community strong enough to pull me under – and I do NOT watch TV news shows.  Feeling that fear is completely understandable, especially for those of us sensitive to energy.  Over the last few days I have had several times where I simply felt like something is off

Like a great disturbance in the Force, as if thousands of voices cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

Yesterday I had a panic attack.  The panic wasn’t my own, it was seeping in from the general atmosphere of fear surrounding the globe.  It didn’t last long, but it sapped my energy JUST enough to make me wonder if I might be coming down with something.  There are multitudes of people panicking right now, and it’s going to get worse before it gets better. 

If we watch the whole thing unfold on news programs, more of us will die from stress than from virus!

It makes sense to keep informed from reliable sources of news, but if we are living on a steady diet of ‘what’s happening in the world’ without digesting some kind of counterpoint as well, it depletes not only our energy, but our immunity.  

Don’t do that to yourself!

First of all, reduce your exposure to the news.  Don’t let it saturate your waking hours with fear and anxiety!

Counterpoint can be anything that lifts your spirits.  

Watch a feel-good movie or TV show.
Get out in nature!
Move your body.
Try a new meditation app
Research something that interests you.
Have a long conversation on the phone with someone you love.
Read uplifting books and blogs.
Listen to something uplifting on YouTube.
– One of my FAVORITES: Everything is Always Working Out for Me
Here are links that frame the virus in a different perspective
What if the Virus is Medicine? From Heartward Sanctuary
What if… by Gurpreet Gill

Choose whatever counterpoint you like, as long as you LIKE it.

If we eat a steady diet of fear, we become fear filled.  If we balance that with counterpoint, we can become whatever we choose to look at. 
We can be inspired.  We can be informed.  We can be calm, prepared, steady, helpful, uplifting, fulfilled, joyous.

The choice is ours.

Grow on!

Purification Meditation ~

This exercise will communicate to your energy system (body) that you are willing to align with vibrant health, and willing to release any resistance to wellbeing you may have been holding.

  • Visualize yourself in a stream of light.  Let it pour through you as if you are translucent.
  • Allow the light to cleanse and rejuvenate every cell in your body as it pours through you, warms you, strengthens you, and purifies you physically.
  • Then reverse the stream and allow the light to emanate from within you.  Imagine it purifying all your cells as it streams out from you.

Please feel free to share YOUR favorite counterpoint activities in the comments!

Namaste.


Boost Your Immunity by Getting Engaged!

Everyone is currently talking about the importance of a healthy immune system, and I could not agree MORE!

We’ve heard reminders about the importance of proper hydration, plenty of rest, washing our hands, eating healthy foods, – avoid crap food because if your body is already struggling with garbage and toxins, it has less strength to fight off viruses – drinking less alcohol, reducing smoking, washing our hands, staying active, taking probiotics, getting some sunshine every day, and then washing our hands again.

All of these things are GREAT to boost immunity, plus they help us feel healthier & more energized! One thing I have not heard mentioned in this torrent of common sense is to get engaged! 

Human beings are energy systems. 

We literally exist to flow energy.  When our energy is not flowing it is stagnant, and our energy system feels depressed.  Stuck energy causes physical dis-ease, and once we stop flowing energy, our Spirit disengages from our physical body and we have our ‘death’ experience.  – According to Abraham, we never die.  We are eternal beings and when we ‘die’ we still exist as non-physical energy that is 100% engaged in all the same subjects of interest we had while in physical form.

The only way to flow energy is to engage energy.

So get engaged!  Find something that you are passionate about and focus on that.  That’s what flows energy and sustains our Spirit.  Boredom will kill us!  Boredom stagnates our energy and energy needs to flow.

So besides following all of the wonderful common sense advice to eat right, get plenty of rest, and wash your hands repeatedly, get excited about your life!  If we’re not feeling passionate about SOMETHING, we are an easy target  for that energy transference known as ‘death’ that so many people fear.  

If we are sleepwalking through life, going to work, surviving the mental clutter in our mind, emotionally drained, tolerating relationships, physically inactive, and spiritually unanchored, then we are NOT energetically engaged!  Washing our hands a million times can’t boost our immune system enough to counteract this level of energy stagnation.

When we stop flowing energy in this physical body, when we stop being engaged in our current life, we are as likely to die in our sleep or in a freak accident as to be taken out by a viral pandemic.

More than one client this week has expressed a fear of dying, and anyone watching TV, or surfing the internet these days might resonate with that fear.

Fear of death might mean that we do not understand our eternal, infinite nature.  But my intuition tells me that most people are afraid to die because there is something the heart longs to do that is yet undone.  THAT is where passion lies!  Focus on THAT because it will flow energy and feed your resilience, and expand your soul.

Many clients have told me they don’t know what THAT is for them, so they get discouraged.  I say let that encourage you!  If your fear of death is telling you there is MORE yet to be done, that your purpose is not yet fulfilled, then allow that knowing to fill you with HOPE!  Not hope simply that death will not yet come for you, but hope that you have purpose and your purpose will again engage and flow energy through this life.  And flowing energy is the purpose.  Of all life.

So go get engaged!  Find your passion and flow with it.

Flow on!

What do you enjoy? 
Find ways to incorporate it into your life as soon & as often as possible.

If you do not know what you enjoy, it’s very possible that until now, others have defined your life for you.  If this is true for you, I encourage you not to be too hard on yourself, because it is true for MANY people.  It’s quite common to let our parents, our spouse, our children, or our career define “who” we are.  But when their version of who we ‘should be’ no longer inspires us, or when the outside influence goes away, we may not know what we truly want or where to flow our energy.

Try doing something differently than you normally do it. Do you enjoy that? Do it again! Not so much? Forget about that experiment and try something different.

Enjoy it? Keep it. Do it again.
Not so much? Move on to experiment with a new experience.

The important thing is to get that energy flowing.
You’ll figure it out as you go. You’ve GOT this.

Here are a few options to engage energy and get it flowing: 

Physical activity to move or unstick physical energy.
Journal to unstick mental/emotional energy & gain clarity.
See a therapist to unstick old emotional energy.
Hire a coach to help identify and remove energy blocks.
Plan activities with friends or family to engage social energy.
Reduce exposure to toxic people to move stuck energy.
Be of service to others to engage social and spiritual energies.
Take self-maintenance seriously to engage spiritual energy.
Meditate or connect with nature to move spiritual energy. 
Read spiritually uplifting books or blogs.
Clean home and office to move energy in your environment.

What’s YOUR favorite way to engage energy or get unstuck?
Please share in the comments!

Train Your Brain!

Teach your brain to think thoughts that serve you!  Our brains are the greatest tool humans have, yet most of us don’t take the time to use it to our advantage!

It’s super easy to focus on ‘what is’ in a negative way because the media is constantly bombarding us with stories that shock or provoke for the sake of ratings.  Once these things have our attention, it’s easy to attract MORE stories like that to focus on because energy attracts like energy.

I may have mentioned this before, but if we want to attract,
good-feeling, positive, prosperous energy that allows us to feel energized, we must actively choose to integrate that type of energy.

Think of yourself as a radio.  You can’t tune the radio to a rap station, and expect to hear classical music.  If you want classical music, you tune to the classical station.  If we want to attract good-feeling, positive, prosperous energy, we need to “tune in” to what feels good, positive, and prosperous!

Station BJOY flows abundant wellbeing all day every day!  

“This is DJ Cyndi Combs at radio station BJOY, bringing you your morning vibration-raising tuneup full of faith, sunny optimism
and ease.  Programming to make you soul sing with connection,
so you can be joy!”

We can also choose to focus on is what’s wrong, what MIGHT go wrong, and who or what is to blame, and guess what we attract into our lives?  More of what is going wrong, and people and circumstances to blame for that.

And many people don’t know that we are tuning our life’s ‘station’ (vibration) to what we look at, so they will receive whatever chaos
and negative energy is being broadcast in the world around them.

There are many ways to train our brain to ’tune in’ to things that raise our vibration, and what works for one person may not work for the next, so it becomes a matter of creating your own recipe for personal success and motivation! It’s not one formula for everyone or one-size-fits-all. Each of us must play with possibilities, explore options, and come to our own individualized secret sauce. Below, I have compiled a very short list of success formula ingredients that have served many people on their wellbeing journey.

As you read it, consider which ones appeal to you.

A short list of ingredients you could choose to add to your Personal Success Formula:

Meditation
Journaling
Being Active
Being in nature
Reading uplifting books, blogs, and podcasts
Making room for Creativity
Making room for fun & play
Practicing Affirmations
Daily Gratitude
Proper Hydration
Adequate Rest
Avoiding Sugar
Personal Nutrition Plan
Practice Happiness Daily – link has a longer list of specific resources
Life Tools – link to more specific resources
Hiring a Coach! – Three resources in case you are considering hiring a coach
Cyndi
Ana Verzone
a long list of certified professional coaches

Please remember the possibilities are infinite!

This is not meant to be a comprehensive list as possibilities for raising your vibration vary in effectiveness over time, and from person to person. All the ones I list have a strong track record for helping a wide variety of people tune in to more fulfillment, wellbeing, and success.

Now, I do NOT mean that people who tune to positive, prosperous energy walk around in a perpetual state of bliss or nirvana, never experiencing challenges.  Life does NOT work like that.

What I do mean is that when challenges arise, we don’t feel like we’ve been kicked in the dirt and left without choice.  We find our balance faster, and move quickly from focusing on the challenge to creating one or more solutions.

It’s super easy to focus on what’s in front of us.  But if we solely focus on what we see, that is all we can attract and create.  If we want to attract and create more than what we currently have in our world, it takes daily practice and constant reminders over weeks and months.  It will also require more effort than remaining in our current pattern, because the current patterns are ingrained over years or decades.

You’re worth the effort!

Grow on!

Create your own Success Formula by keeping a list of the things that elevate your game!

What are you currently doing that feeds your soul? 
How often are you doing that? 
How often would you like to do it? 
What is something that you LOVE to do, but don’t do anymore because you don’t have the time or money? 
How can you start integrating that into your life again? 
Which of the items from the short list above sound like fun? 
Which would you like to learn more about? 
Would you like to learn more about living the greatest version of yourself? 

If you are considering hiring a life coach to get more out of life, please contact me!  We’ll schedule a short chat to see if I am the right coach for you, or if I can refer you to a coach with a specialty that may be better suited for your growth.

The Importance of Feeling our Feelings

Why are emotions called feelings?

Because we feel emotions, physically, in our bodies.  Human beings experience emotions as a specific set of physical sensations. 
For example when I feel grief, my body feels deeply weighted and lethargic.  When I feel joy, my heart feels light, as if filled with helium, and I have a humming vibration along my skin.  Self-doubt feels like my body is contracting inward away from the world, and confidence feels expansive, light, and powerful.

Our emotions are simply vibrations that we feel in our body, and are part of our human experience.  In and of themselves, these vibrations cannot harm us!  

Emotions are vibrations that we experience as completely harmless physical sensations.  

So if the vibrations can’t harm us, why do so many people go to such extraordinary lengths to avoid what we perceive as negative emotions?

That’s what’s happening if my lover leaves me and I eat a gallon of ice cream.  I’m trying to avoid feeling the pain of my emotions.  Same thing with drugs and alcohol.  People are drawn to using these substances to numb our ‘hard’ emotions, the sadness, frustration, anger, disappointment, fear, or worry that crop up in our lives.

And who would blame us?  There are situations and circumstances in this lifetime where every one of us can relate to why THAT emotion might hurt too much to feel, and why someone might choose to numb the pain.  It’s sort of like if you break your leg, that HURTS.  No one is going to bat an eye if you take some pain killers for that.  So if someone is going through emotional pain, it’s understandable that we might want some pain killers for that, too.

The broken leg eventually heals, our pain subsides, and our use of pain killers ceases. Emotional pain eventually heals, too but not until we allow ourselves to transform the pain, and transforming the pain requires allowing ourselves to FEEL the emotion.

This is where it can get a bit tricky, because we feel the pain and want to numb it to avoid it, so we do (normal). 

But if we do not stop numbing the emotional pain and allow ourselves to feel it, to move through it, we can get stuck in the cycle of continuously numbing that pain to not feel it, then feeling it and numbing it, feel the pain then numb the pain.  Unlike the broken leg,
it’s not going to heal until you allow yourself to feel your feelings.  If we attempt to push our emotions away, they keep coming back.  We cannot resist our emotions. 

If we wish to get past our challenging emotions, we must allow the experience by being present with the emotion.

I remember the first time my coach suggested this to me I thought she was mad. I had been avoiding hard emotions for decades with booze and sugar, and she wanted me to sit with those feelings?! 

The idea positively made my skin crawl!

Then she taught me the most amazing technique. I learned to objectively describe the emotion as the physical sensations I experienced in my body – without attaching my story to it,
and without wallowing in the emotion.

When we experience the physical vibration of the emotion without attaching a story to it, we can simply observe the experience of emotion, rather than becoming the emotion.

“I am experiencing anger,” has a much different energy than,
“I am angry.”  Feel the difference?

Physical description: the anger feels physically like a kick in my gut.  My face is hot and red and my heart is beating faster than normal. 
I can feel my pulse through my whole body.

Description with our story attached might look like this:  I am so PISSED that person did XYZ to me!  What is wrong with them? 
Were they raised by wolves?  Who acts that way?  This will never work!  I won’t stand for it!  I have every right to be furious about this!

Which description drains more energy?

When we attach a story to the emotion, we attach ourselves to it.

Our emotions do not define us.  They are not who we are.  They are simply indicators of where we are at any given moment.

Reach for a better feeling thought.

As a core energy coach, I help clients shift perspective to find a vibration that allows greater success in their lives.  Sometimes people get the wrong idea and think that we are supposed to push away bad feeling emotions and strive to feel only positive ones, and that is NOT the case at all.

We absolutely want to trade up the emotional ladder, to feel better and better and better about ourselves and our lives, but we can’t do that by only experiencing our positive emotions and repressing those we don’t enjoy as much. 

Abraham-Hicks emotional scale

If we take a few moments to actually be present with our hard emotions (describe them physically), then we are able to move through the emotion and beyond it to a better feeling vibration and not just pushing it away hoping it won’t pop up again.

The human experience is a kaleidoscope of emotions, each color adding depth and meaning to the overall picture.  The more colors we integrate, the more rich and beautiful our lives become.

We gotta feel ALL our feels.

Grow on!

What physical sensations do you experience when you feel angry?
Sad?
Anxious?
Shame?
Guilt?
Peace?
Confidence?
Hopeful?
Inspired?
Joyous?

Which emotions do you try not to feel?
Which emotion is your least fave?
Describe that emotion physically and allow yourself to observe it.

CONSTANT Calibration

Have you ever tried to realign your physical body? 

If you ever experienced injury the answer is yes, even if it’s just remembering not to limp anymore once a sprained ankle heals.  If you’ve ever experienced back injury or any kind of surgery on your abdomen, it takes some practice to remember how to stand up straight again! 

Don’t slouch!  How often has your intention been to improve your posture?  Trying to sit or stand correctly so that your back doesn’t ache is one that many people are familiar with.

How many times a day do you remind yourself to correct your posture in one of these situations?  Like a million?  And then how many times do you find yourself back to the old familiar slouch?  At least a million and one.  Almost more than we can catch and correct it seems.  Sometimes when we are combatting pain, we stay pretty motivated to be on top of it until we correct the issue.  Still, it takes continuous focus on the change we desire.  It takes correction after correction for days and weeks and months to finally create a habit so we don’t have to think about it so frequently.

The same constant calibration and recalibration is required to change any habitual patterns that we desire to improve or discontinue.  Habits are behaviors that are ingrained because we have practiced them for months or years or decades.  We barely register them as we carry them out, because they have become relegated to our unconscious mind which is very efficient.  Our unconscious mind works so quickly that we don’t even realize we’ve done that thing again, that we were meaning to stop doing, until after we’ve done it.  We do it unconsciously.  We have repeated the pattern so many times that the thought pathway completes itself undetected.

If we wish to change a habitual behavior we must disrupt our thoughts constantly. Repeatedly.

Currently we are calibrated to our habits. If we wish to recalibrate to actions that stem from conscious choice, we need to disrupt the thought pattern that leads to the habitual behavior, and we need to disrupt it REPEATEDLY.  We can’t just decide to to it and then do it. 
As in the example above about physical realignment, we’re going to return to our slouch because it’s what we’ve practiced, until we practice something else – a LOT.

It’s going to take correcting ourselves and reminding ourselves and recalibrating thoughts and behaviors constantly until we create the new habit we desire.

How do we do that?

It seems like when most of us try to change a behavior, we make it a little while, but then we fall back into old patterns and give up!  It seems fruitless because after all, we WILL revert to the old habit unless we are constantly vigilant.

So when you do revert back to the old pattern of behavior, it doesn’t mean that you’re stupid, or weak, or bad, or incapable of change. 
It means you are human and did what all of us do when we try to overcome old programming.  In other words, you’re perfectly normal.

So BE constantly vigilant! 

Focus as often as you can on the change you want.  Write about it in your morning pages.  Put sticky notes or fancy affirmation cards about it all over your house.  Set an alarm on your phone to remind you to think about the change you are making.  Talk to your coach or therapist about it.  Tell anyone who supports your desire to change, and DON’T discuss it with anyone who may be unsupportive.  Put notes on your desktop.  Send yourself emails reminding you what you want to do.  Read books on the subject of your challenge or change or area of growth.  Read inspiring books on any subject!  Create a mantra and repeat it often.  Make a vision board that supports your change and look at it frequently.

The more often we can bring our conscious choice to the front of our thoughts, the more opportunities we get to interrupt unconscious thoughts that lead to the actions that no longer serve our well-being.

When our unconscious thoughts DO complete the circuit, and we take an action we are trying to avoid, we want to LEARN as much as we can about ourselves from that!  What thoughts were we thinking that triggered the behavior?  What triggered those thoughts?  What can we do when this type of obstacle arises in the future?  How will we use this information to grow?

If we can turn it into wisdom that adds to our chance of success in the future, then it’s a big win because we are still moving toward our goal!

Change requires vigilance so old behaviors don’t creep back in.

Once we bring ourselves into alignment with the change we want to make, then we must calibrate and recalibrate constantly, bringing ourselves back into alignment, remembering  and reminding ourselves of the goal, practicing constantly until the new desired action becomes the unconscious habit.

And see, once we train our conscious choice into unconscious action, then we have a new habit and it no longer seems like work or takes any effort at all!  We simply do the new action that supports our health without thinking about it, because it has become our new norm.

Totally worth the effort!

Dare to Love!

Always choose love.  Always. 
Okay?  End of post.

What more is there to say?  Always choose love.

I hear clients ask, “What if they don’t DESERVE my love?!”

Choosing to feel love benefits YOU. 
Choosing negative emotions harms YOU.

It has nothing to do with what they deserve.  What do you deserve?  Which emotions do you want to feel?  Because YOU are the only one feeling your emotions.

Hate, anger, disappointment, irritation, fear.  These emotions create catabolic energy (and lead to the dark side!). Catabolic energy breaks down or destroys.  Catabolic emotions weaken us physically, mentally and spiritually.  These emotions drain our energy, leave us depleted, and have zero affect on the person we create the emotions about!

Unless we are creating these emotions about ourselves. 

Then they have exponential destructive power in our lives.  Creating catabolic emotions about ourselves and directing that catabolic energy at ourselves through a magnifying glass is the most energy draining, soul-destroying thing we can do!

So why not simply choose to LOVE, like and encourage yourself?  Why not give yourself a break?  Count yourself as learning and experimenting instead of failing.  Simply allow yourself to be YOU in all your flawsomeness without beating yourself up for being human.  Love creates anabolic energy.  Anabolic energy creates and heals. 

How can you know that catabolic destroys and anabolic creates?

Try this energy experiment:  

Sit quietly a minute and empty your thoughts for an instant.  Then, think that thought that you always think about yourself when you are beating yourself up – yep, the really mean one.  Notice how that feels physically.  Where and how do you feel it in your body?

Sit quietly a minute and empty your thoughts for an instant.  Just breathe in and out deeply three times, returning to neutral.  Then, think about the person you adore most in this world.  Your child or grandchild, your dog or your lover.  Whoever you MOST love with ease and great abundance.  How does THAT energy feel in your body?  Where does it vibrate?

That should demonstrate pretty clearly that catabolic energy drains and depletes us, and anabolic energy heals, uplifts, and connects us to others.

So why not choose love? 

It feels yummy!  It’s good for the body, mind and spirit.  It’s GREAT for healing relationships.  It adds joy wherever it bubbles out. So why not choose love?

Still back at “What if they don’t deserve my love?” 

I hear this OFTEN from clients!  That is a totally normal reaction.
(Side note: If someone is hurting you, they do not deserve your love. But YOU deserve your love, so if someone is harming you, you’ll need enough self-love to walk away.)

How possible is it to impose your emotions on another?

Our emotions have zero affect on the person we are creating these emotions about!  Our emotions can only effect us!  Don’t believe me?  Ever known anyone who was madly in love and pouring all of their energy, love, affection, and attention on someone who barely notices them?  Right?  That’s the theme of pretty much every romantic comedy ever made. You can’t make someone else feel what you feel. We each create and experience our own emotions.

So why choose to be angry at someone when YOU are the only one being harmed by the catabolic emotion you create?  If YOU are the only one receiving benefit or detriment due to the emotions you create, why not choose anabolic, good-feeling emotions that build you up and create more opportunities in your life?

Dare to love YOU.

I Don’t Have Time to Meditate!

My life is BUSY!  Much like yours, no doubt.

We all have jobs to get to every day, and some of us have second jobs.  Some of us commute and that can be like a second job.  I feel fortunate to live ten minutes from my office, so that’s not one of the things that sucks time out of my day, but believe me, there are myriad more because I run a thriving massage practice, I sell my landscape photography, and now am transitioning to empowerment coaching and finishing my grad work at iPEC.

People need time to buy groceries, plan meals, prepare foods, get car repairs, stop for gas, see the doctor, see their therapist, get to the gym, fit in some cardio or yoga, buy clothes, celebrate people they love, spend time with friends and family, keep our homes tidy, wash the cars, mow the lawn, prune bushes, rake leaves, develop professionally, develop personally, get plenty of rest, stay hydrated, the list is infinite!  I can’t possibly name all the stuff we need to do.

Then there are people with kids!  Children come with a whole other set of time sinks to drain their parents’ already busy schedules.

So if you keep hearing that meditation is a key foundation to living a better life, you will not be alone if your first thought is, “Who the fuck has time to meditate?  I certainly don’t!” It seems like just one more thing that needs doing, right?

Abraham (Esther Hicks) says that saying you don’t have time to meditate is like saying you don’t have time to look for your car keys, so you’ll just walk from Phoenix to San Diego.  That’s how essential meditation is!  Sure, you can get where you’re going without it, but it’s going to take a WHOLE lot longer to get where you are wanting to go!

When you do a quick search online, it’s easy to find articles about people adopting a meditation practice to improve their lives.  Here is a list of links you may find interesting if you’d like more information:

The Scientific Power of Meditation
6 Daily Habits of Self-Made Billionaires
11 Wildly Successful Entrepreneurs Who Swear by Daily Meditation
7 Types of Meditation

Rich, famous, successful people all over the world swear by meditation as a habit that has escalated their prosperity and well being in a meaningful way. 

That may be fine for the rich and famous, after all they have more time on their hands than those of us working two jobs and raising kids without nannies, right? If we had the nanny, and the maid, and a personal shopper & chef, we would have time to meditate and improve our vibration, too!  (Calibrating our own vibration to the vibration of our Source is the whole point of meditation.)

But what if making time to meditate every day gave us the power we needed to excel throughout the rest of our day?  What if regular meditation allowed you to feel less stress?  What if you could enjoy your life more by syncing up with Source energy on a daily basis?  What would THAT be worth?  More peace of mind.  More financial security.  Less stress and time-scarcity.  

Would we make time to meditate if we received all these benefits?

That seems priceless!  All it costs is minutes of our time each day, and a commitment to stick with it until we can see and feel the results for ourselves.

Now, I could go on and on, but I would rather have you take the next
3-10 minutes to sit and follow your breath.

Grow on!

Just breathe…

Who the Fuck needs a Life Coach?

It has come to my attention that marketing professional coaching
is much, MUCH harder than marketing amazing massage therapy. 

If I ask you for referrals to my massage practice, you can probably think of at least a dozen people who want one or who can benefit from it.  If I ask you for referrals to my coaching practice, you probably know at least a half dozen, but how would you KNOW they need a coach? 

In thirteen years of practicing massage, I never had to pay for advertising and I certainly never had to educate people about what it is that I do.  People know what a massage is and many of us (me FIRST!) are addicted to the stress release, pleasure, comfort, relaxation and overall feeling of well-being that comes with massage.  Many people are realizing that massage is an essential part of their health care budget, and include it as a regular part of their self-care.

If you have an amazing massage therapist and you hear someone say that their back hurts, or that they started running and have tight hamstrings, or that they suffer from tension headaches, you know from personal experience that massage is helpful, and you feel confident saying so and recommending your therapist.  Massage therapy is pretty mainstream, so if you find yourself in need of massage, you feel comfortable asking friends for recommendations.  But, who the fuck needs a life coach? 

Maybe a better question to start with is, 

What the fuck does a life coach do?

When my therapist first suggested that I would make a great life coach, my response to her was, “Is that a thing?”  So I am never surprised when people haven’t a clue about what I do or who needs/wants professional coaching.

Coaches are NOT therapists, psychologists or counselors. If you are clinically depressed, please seek help from one of these professions. Coaches do not give advice or delve into the roots of your issues.

Coaches help you clearly see where you are,
then help you map a path to where you want to go.

Humans sometimes struggle with getting to where we want to be.  We might know what we want and just can’t quite figure out how to get there.  Or maybe we KNOW the steps required to get us there, but we can’t quite motivate ourselves to take those steps.  Sometimes we can’t even figure out WHAT the hell we want because we have so many thoughts cluttering our minds.

People may struggle with time scarcity and feel overwhelmed. 
We sometimes deal with financial scarcity that can create cycles of fear and worry.  During transitions in our lives, we can sometimes feel unanchored, and unsure what course to chart next.  If we have many paths before us, sometimes we can’t choose.  And if we have any difficult emotions attached to the situations we are going through, that’s when things can get challenging. 

It is immensely helpful in times like these to talk to someone who is not emotionally attached to your outcome, someone who can help clarify your thinking and help you find your way forward to where you want to be.

That’s what life coaches do. We help clients overcome obstacles to get from where they are to where they’d like to be.

How do we do that?  By having conversations about values, goals, and habitual thoughts and behavior patterns.  By looking at what influences their energy socially, physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and environmentally. 
By discovering ways to increase energy in all those areas.  By replacing fear with faith, which has a very different vibration and attracts very different energy into one’s life.

So, who the fuck needs a life coach?

People going through one of the struggles mentioned above.  People who never have the energy to do what they love doing. People who want to reach their goals.  People who want to manifest their dreams.  People going through any kind of transition like changing careers or relationships, moving to a new city, or empty nesting.  People struggling to reach their health goals.  People who have lost their confidence or have low self-esteem.  People who know they want MORE from their lives, but aren’t quite sure more of what.

Me.  I need a life coach.  

One of the BEST parts about my coaching school was that we constantly had peers coaching us for practice.  I was practicing my coaching skills which was extremely valuable, but receiving coaching weekly had the added benefit of tremendous self-growth along with an increased understanding of what it feels like to receive the benefits of regular coaching.  My mother looked at me like I was crazy when I told her I was still being coached regularly.  “But you are a trained coach, why do you need one?”

GREAT question!  There are a lot of ways in which I can and do coach myself all the time to change habitual thoughts from my past that do not serve my goals.  But I also pay two professional coaches for regular sessions.  I have an In the Flow coach who helps keep my energy and enthusiasm high, and I have a life coach to help me plan my goals, improve my relationships, and be the best version of me that I can be!  I also follow a business coach on Facebook to pick up lots of hints and tips on how to grow my coaching practice.

So, who needs a life coach?  Everyone NEEDS a life coach!

But, who can coaching help?

Coaching can ONLY help those who are willing to show up for themselves, and take the actions required to get out of their own way and get to where they want to go.

Here is the most important question:

Who the fuck is READY for a life coach?

If you know a truly amazing life coach, who do you refer to her for coaching?  

Coaching is becoming more common, but when someone finds themselves needing a coach, they may not feel comfortable asking for recommendations.  They may not think any of their friends know a life coach.  It’s just not that main stream.  I mean, really, is life coaching a thing?

PLEASE keep your ears open for key phrases like these:

I always feel so overwhelmed!
I’m tired all the time. I have no energy. 
I want to change (something), but have no idea how! 
I have tried to change (something), but I always fail. 
My life doesn’t matter. 
I’ll never reach my goals. 
Is this all there is to life? 
I want more from my life, I just don’t know what. 
Why can’t I stick to my own healthy intentions?
I have to do everything myself. 
I’m in a rut and I can’t get out. 
I want to complete (some large goal) but I have no idea where to start!

Anyone saying these things will benefit from coaching.
If you regularly say these things, contact me for a chat!

When you hear phrases like these from friends, you will be helping us both by giving them my name and contact info. 

I will be delighted to schedule a 30 minute session to see if coaching is a good fit for the challenges they’re facing.  No obligation. No sales pitch.  If it seems like coaching can help, I’ll tell them what I offer my clients.  If I am not the right coach for them, I have an extensive network of other coaches with varying specialities that I am delighted to refer them to, and a LONG list of free resources that might be all they need to set them on the path to their dreams!

This is partially about building my practice, but it’s mostly about making sure people have the support they need to succeed in life! 

That’s what I am passionate about! 
I want everyone to live the best possible version of themselves!

Grow on!

What will happen if you share this blog post?
Who will you help? 
Who do you know who is currently facing life challenges? 
Who do you know who’s been struggling awhile to reach a goal? 
Who do you know who is in transition and could use some support? 
How many of the key phrases above have you used recently? 
What is your biggest goal? 
What steps are you currently taking to get there? 
What steps are you avoiding?  Why? 
What’s holding you back?

Yelp Reviews from Cyndi’s Coaching Clients:

What TEA am I Brewing?

How we FEEL is always the direct result of what we think.

Managing your mind and deciding what you want to think is the secret to creating a happy life. Don’t believe me?  Let’s say for example that you have been let go from a job you love, through no fault of your own.  Some people think being fired causes the emotions that follow, but the situation is ALWAYS neutral. 

The situation is not good or bad, it simply is. The story we attach to the situation causes us to see it as positive or negative.

Our thoughts cause our emotions.

The thoughts we choose cause the emotions that follow.

*Neutral Situation = employment status

Thought choice # 1 Negative thoughts: Oh my God!  I got fired! What will I do for money?  I have no savings and it might be months before I find a job!  How dare they let me go after all I have given this company!  Why is this happening to me?  I’ll probably never find a job that pays this well again.  WHAT will I do without benefits?  What will people think?  I’ve been fired from a job I love!  This is the end of the world.  I can’t believe they would do this to me!  I’ll be out of money before I find work!  This is a disaster!  What will I tell my family?!  This is the WORST time to be unemployed!  I need to take the FIRST thing I can find so I can pay my bills, no matter how awful it is or how miserable it makes me.  This is terrible, terrible news!
Emotions created by thoughts – fear, anxiety, frustration

*Neutral Situation = employment status

Thought choice # 2Positive thoughts: What a wonderful opportunity to find work that I am passionate about!  This seems like just the right time to move on to bigger things.  I have no idea what comes next for my career, but it’s going to be wonderful!  I am embarking on the next segment of my ever-improving professional life!  What do I want to do next?  What really excites me?  This is so unexpected and delightful!  I feel like a door has opened to a room FULL of opportunity!  There is a purpose to everything.  I think something wonderful is about to unfold!  What PERFECT timing for something new and exciting!
Emotions created by thoughts – excitement, hope, enthusiasm

How can there be such different emotional outcomes from the SAME situation?  The situation is neutral – it cannot cause emotions. 
The thoughts we CHOOSE to think cause the emotions we feel. Period.

It requires some effort to improve our thoughts, but it’s totally worth it because, here’s the kicker; 

Our emotions drive our actions.

We sometimes think that our actions are based on our logical thoughts.  If that were true, we would all be fit and active because logically we KNOW that eating right and staying active keeps us healthy, happy, and living longer.  We frequently set intentions to eat healthier options, or to increase our activity levels. 

But what usually happens when we “don’t feel like it”?
Does that feeling drive the action, or is it the logical decision we have made to eat right and work out?

Right?  Nine times out of ten “not feeling like it” trumps our healthy intentions and we end up on the couch watching Netflix with a bag of potato chips instead of going for a walk or making a salad.  To create new actions that align with our intentions, we want to think thoughts that cause the emotions required to drive our actions.

In other words, instead of just thinking whatever thoughts you normally think that result in the actions you normally take, decide what actions you WANT to take, and then figure out what kind of thoughts will drive you to those actions.

For example, let’s say that our intention is to be active for 20 minutes after work, and eat a salad once a day toward our goal of being more healthy and fit.

Possible Thoughts and Probable Outcomes

I need to lose weight, so I have to take action.
I HAVE to find a way to be more active and eat right.
The last thing I want to do after a long day is work out!
I get so TIRED of making salad every day!
I’ve tried and failed to lose weight my whole life!  
This never gets easier.
Why bother?
Who cares?

PROBABLY not going to motivate anyone off the couch and away from the frozen pizza that’s fast, easy, and calling their name.

Those thoughts are easy to come by.  They pop into mind with no trouble at all, bringing with them all variety of doubts, second guessing and even more unhelpful, demotivating thoughts.

What will change if we try thoughts like these?

I want to feel energized, so I am taking action! 
I ENJOY the way I feel when I move my body every day! 
I enjoy finding new ingredients to make salads interesting.
The last thing I want is to feel worn down.
Staying active keeps my energy high! 
Chopping salad honors my health and brings me closer to my goal! 
It takes less time to make salad than it does to earn money for pizza!
One small step each day leads to my success!
Today is the only day I need to focus on. 
I make the effort because I want vibrant health and well being!
I have learned a LOT from past attempts, and can avoid pitfalls. 
This time I am determined and will stop for nothing!
I have listed all obstacles that have prevented me from reaching my goal in the past, and created a strategy to deal with each one.
THIS is the way I reach my goals!  

These thoughts take slightly more effort to conjure and require PRACTICE.  They pop out of mind much more easily than they pop in, but they are worth the effort because they bring with them
1) confidence that you can reach your goal, 2) courage to keep trying even if things don’t go exactly as planned, and 3) more thoughts that keep you feeling encouraged and moving forward.

It’s easy to see that these thoughts have a better chance of motivating a person away from the pizza and onto the elliptical, right?

So what TEA am I brewing?

TEA = Thoughts.  Emotions.  Actions.

Thoughts cause emotions.  Emotions drive actions.  

To drive the actions we WANT, we need to choose thoughts that generate the emotions that drive us in the direction we want to go.

“I hate salad!” drives us one way.

“I make salad daily to bring me into alignment with my intentions, and help reach my goals!” drives us another way entirely.

To reach the destination we desire, we need to find the driver (create the emotion) heading to that destination!

Grow on!

What TEA are you brewing?
What thoughts are keeping you from your goals? 
What thoughts can you choose to practice instead?