Category: Energize & Thrive

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Sweet Release

Sugar is a pervasive, powerful substance.  

It makes us feel good when we eat it. It elevates our mood more effectively than prescription drugs. Sugar can serve as a symbolic substitute for love or intimacy.  Alcoholics getting sober frequently turn to sugar as a replacement habit, and find it gives them a lot of the same benefits as booze. Sugar can numb our feelings, fill our boredom, calm our nerves, or bliss us out. Why wouldn’t we turn to sugar for all this relief?

When we were hunter gatherers and we found sugar in nature – generally in fruits and berries – biology told us to eat ALL of it because it was ripe for a very short time. That was fine for hunter gatherers because gathering sugary foods was limited to harvest season. Sugar helped us pack on a few pounds before winter when food would become scarce, and we would need body fat for fuel. Eating ALL the sugar is driven by our biology, much like bears fattening up for hibernation. We are biologically wired to eat all the sugar!

But these days, the “food” corporations put sugar into every box and package on the shelf. Sugar is everywhere and available 24/7. It’s the first drug children get hooked on, and “food” corporations use it to increase their profits. Sugar is cheaper than both protein and produce, and it HOOKS people into coming back for more by releasing a super dose of dopamine, what we normally think of as the happiness drug.

Millions of people are habituated to the sweet benefits of sugar, without necessarily realizing the long term harmful effects. We want our sugary treats. We don’t want to see sugar as the cause of our symptoms. I get it! 

My name is Cyndi and I am a sugar addict. Sugar has been a problem for me on and off and throughout my life. I tried repeatedly to let go of sugar. I suffered for years under the harmful effects of sugar. Some of my sugar-related symptoms included SIBO, diverticulitis, headaches, night sweats, irritability, brain fog, fatigue, extreme pain from slipped discs in my lumbar spine due to inflammation in my intestines, which caused me to be off work for weeks at a time without pay.

I had to connect the dots between my fatigue and the sugar, between my constant symptoms and the constant underlying inflammation induced by sugar.

Long term sugar use can be as powerful a pattern to release as alcohol or tobacco abuse, and it takes awareness to finally let it go.

Sugar causes inflammation.

According to Harvard Health: Too much added sugar can be one of the greatest threats to cardiovascular disease. Consuming too much added sugar can raise blood pressure and increase chronic inflammation.  Research has shown that chronic inflammation is associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.

Gastroenterologist, Suhirdan Vivekanadarajah says excessive sugar can reduce beneficial bacteria leading to a leaky gut syndrome, and other serious health conditions. Too much sugar may also block the production of a protein associated with being lean.

According to Anthony William, refined sugar is the number one preferred food of viruses and tumors. He also has a GREAT article on how the natural sugars in fruit are different, and not to be avoided. According to Anthony, “Fruit is actually the most important food to eat when healing from disease.”

Am I saying we should not eat sugar? 

No. I am absolutely not saying that. Sugar is delicious and pleasurable, and in small amounts can be a wonderful addition to a special meal. I am saying that sugar is a powerful substance and it will benefit the health and wellbeing of many people to bring awareness to how much sugar we are truly consuming.

The dose makes the poison.

We don’t need to avoid refined sugar, but we absolutely want to avoid too much sugar.

  • Overusing sugar causes chronic inflammation associated with heart disease, diabetes, cancer, arthritis, and bowel diseases like Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis.
  • Overusing sugar erodes our energy. We may feel an energy boost when the sugar hits our system, but a crash soon follows, and continuous use of sugar overall reduces the amount of energy available to us.
  • Overusing sugar can raise blood pressure.
  • Overusing sugar erodes gut health and immunity, making us more vulnerable to all sorts of disease.  
  • Overusing sugar erodes mental clarity. Brain fog is caused by high levels of inflammation.
  • Overusing sugar erodes our taste buds. Taste is an intelligence, so overusing sugar can dumb down our taste buds, so they are no longer as sensitive to healthy foods.
  • Overusing sugar can lead to poor digestion, lack of nutrient absorption, and contributes to protein deficiency.
  • Overusing sugar can lead to sugar cravings!
  • Overusing sugar leads to weight gain, and inability to release weight.
  • Overusing sugar can erode physical, mental, and spiritual wellbeing, as well as our self esteem.

If you can’t imagine letting go of your daily habit of sweetness, you are not alone! Is it the taste that brings us back for more? Or is it the slight energy buzz it brings? Maybe it’s the relaxing effect we’re after, that comes post buzz.  

The reasons we reach for sugar are myriad, and unique for each of us. Those very same reasons are the key to releasing the overuse of sugar.  If we’re using sugar to cover uncomfortable feelings, it may be easier to experience those feelings and grow through them, than to endure the life long health effects of using sugar to cover them up.

Grow on!

Are you choosing sugar as a sweet treat, or as an escape plan?
How frequently are you choosing sugary foods?
How challenging would you find it to let go of sugar for a week?
Two weeks?

Create a list of all the foods you love that do NOT have added sugars.

Practicing this mantra in my power pose helps me say ‘no’ to extra helpings of sugar!

I lead a group called Relief through Release where I help other women let go of negative self-talk & self-criticism, and recreational sugar for 21 days!

Multiple levels allow you to choose to release just sugar – or many foods – depending on your needs and desires!

If you are interested in releasing sugar and self-criticism for a SHORT trial, please CLICK THIS LINK for complete information, and upcoming dates for Relief through Release Playgroup!

cyndicombs@gmail.com

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WTF is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I am super excited to be a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach trained at the Institute for the Psychology of Eating!

As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help.  Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?

I’m glad you asked!

While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.  

Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.

MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”

A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body.  MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.

This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.

So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?

Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:

  • Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
  • Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
  • Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
  • Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
  • Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:

“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo

“After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco

“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn.  She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo

“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole

Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to:
– Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
– Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
– Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
– Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
– Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.

What do you have to lose?

Grow on!

If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat to see if I’m the right coach for you!

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Choose the Challenge

Life throws us curve balls.  It’s part of being human.  

We have challenges in myriad forms, every one of us.  Some challenges are self-chosen, like training for a marathon, changing careers, or getting a puppy.  Others are gifted to us by Life University, like a broken bone, health and weight challenges, or caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s.

Oftentimes the challenges we choose can inspire us, grow us into new phases of our lives, or give us a sense of accomplishment.  In other words, these challenges can energize us.

Challenges we do NOT choose can often burden us, feel like a crippling blow, or give us a sense of powerlessness.  In other words, these challenges can deplete us.  

So HOW do we keep Life’s challenges from sucking the life force right out of us?  Facing challenges requires stamina, effort, and energy.  If we feel victimized because circumstance was forced on us, our energy is stolen before we begin, and the challenge quickly drains us.

Choose the Challenge

One strategy that can preserve our precious life force (ENERGY) is to choose the challenge.  Yes – the unwanted challenge that Life just threw in your lap.  Choose that one.  Why?  Because it’s the one Life gave you, so it’s meant for you!  Hating it, despising it, resisting it, and running away from it drains energy faster than anything.

Choosing to be with the challenge gives us power.  Choosing to be present – with whatever life hands us – gives us energy.  Wishing we didn’t have the challenge exhausts us.  The simple act of choosing to be here, challenge and all, shifts the energy in our favor.  

Many clients come to me with challenges they did not choose, do not want, and wish to be rid of quickly.  Often they have the idea that this unchosen challenge must be overcome so their ‘real life’ can begin.  But real life is here and now.  If we wait for it to begin at some distant point in the future, we are missing life!  

Life handed us a challenge.  We can choose to cast ourself as the victim, resist the challenge, and try to survive till it’s over – at which time we will presumably step into our power and begin our real life.  Right?  Or we can choose to live our lives right through this challenge, rising to meet it at each step, and retaining as much energy as possible. 

Let’s take a broken ankle for an example.  How do we choose a challenge like this?  

I seriously doubt that a broken ankle is asking us to get a walking cast and stomp right on as if nothing happened.  How do I know this?  Because ‘business as usual’ is what Life is trying to shake up!  Life is asking us to grow in new directions.  

Choosing this challenge might mean accepting help from others, letting go of commitments, or learning to care for self – it’s different for each of us.  Rising up to meet this challenge might mean slowing down!  If Life is asking us to slow down with a broken ankle and we do not slow down, Life will deliver another challenge and another and another – until we slow down.

Choosing the challenge means getting curious about what Life is asking us to learn, and doing our best to listen for the lesson.  We are not being punished.  The challenge is never a punishment.

We are being asked to grow and mature into the competent, confident beings that we truly are! Life is trusting us with this lesson at this time because Life knows we’re ready. We can trust Life, relax into the challenge, and get curious.

When we choose the challenge, the challenge is still challenging, we just have more energy to meet it, learn from it, integrate its gifts, and grow.  In other words, we allow it to energize us instead of deplete us.

Grow on!

Does your current challenge feel energizing or depleting?
What is this challenge asking you to learn?
If this challenge has a message from the Divine, what is the message?
What insight have you gained from this challenge?
How is this challenge asking you to grow as a person, or grow in relationship with others?

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Listen to Your Body

As I explained in my post, Failed Fucking Fairy Tales,
there are no magic fucking beans.

There is no one right answer that fits every body. There is no food plan that is perfect for every human, no exercise prescription that suits every life, no one plan that will create the a healthy body/life for every person.  That’s why we can’t just read a book, follow all the guidelines, and create our body in whatever image we deem perfection.  If there were one right way to transform our body, that “way” would have been discovered and marketed for zillions.  

There are billions of dollars being made annually by diet systems, workout plans, and nutritional supplements, but have you noticed how different they all are?  Some say eat large amounts of protein, some dictate no protein at all.  Other diets are non-fat, while still others include healthy fats at every meal.  Some are effective for some people.  All of them claim to be the magic bean – the one system that works miracles. 

While it’s true that many of these methods may be effective for some – at least short term – how do we know which one works for us?

If you feel confused or frustrated around this topic, it’s with good reason!

What should I eat?  What exercise should I do?

These questions have been documented and debated to death for decades.  It’s no wonder so many people are confused about what works and what is hype!

So how do we do what is best for our health and our body?  If I have a goal to transform my body in some way, what is the best approach for me?

There is only one authority on your body and your health: YOUR Body.

If we ask the body what it needs and then listen, our body will clearly tell us what is beneficial and nourishing, and what is not.

This is a super simple technique, but it requires slowing down and being present.  In our fast-paced society where time is in short supply, we rarely do that.  But if you are telling me that some kind of transformation is your goal, slowing down and being present will allow you to find your way.  YOUR way, the way that most benefits you.  

The path to the healthy body you desire will not be found in books, but in slowing down and really listening to what your body says.  This takes practice, and patience, and time.

Elimination Diet – 

The elimination diet is one of the BEST ways to help people find out what is, or is not, working for their health and their body.  An elimination diet is NOT a diet meant to sustain us for life.  It is meant to be used over a few weeks to discover which foods we eat regularly are not serving our health.

The main thing I want to tell you is that NOTHING IS FOREVER.  Many people won’t try the elimination diet because they fear they will find out they are allergic to a food they love, and will have to give it up forever. 

Nothing is forever.  This is just an experiment to see how different foods nourish or deplete the body.  Even if you discover that you are allergic to something, you don’t have to give it up!  That’s a choice you get to make.  We make better choices when we are informed, so this is simply a way to gather information.

Think of the elimination diet as a playful experiment to uncover valuable treasure.  In this case, the treasure is information that allows us to make choices to improve our health and transform our body.  There are myriad reasons one may wish to undertake a playful experiment with the elimination diet.  Many kinds of digestive complaints are eradicated with an elimination diet.  Many people release all kinds of other issues including skin problems, headaches, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, sleep issues, low energy,  brain fog, and more!  Many people accept these issues as a normal part of life, when they may actually be caused by something we are eating regularly.  If you suffer with any of these, wouldn’t it be AWESOME to be able to stop the suffering?

The elimination diet is a very simple basic experiment that anyone can try without paying a dime.  Since it’s not profitable, we don’t hear about it.  It doesn’t have an advertising budget.  The elimination diet provides specific answers right for YOU.  Then, armed with body wisdom, you get to choose.

I will briefly discuss each step below, but I attach a PDF HERE from the University of Wisconsin Integrative Medicine that explains the details fully. 

Grow on!

Explore which foods enhance your life, and which foods are depleting your energy.

Step 1 – Planning
• Decide which foods to avoid, which to include.
Ask yourself a few key questions: 
– What foods do I eat most often? 
– What foods do I crave? 
– What foods do I eat to “feel better”? 
– What foods would I have trouble giving up? 
– What foods have I noticed symptoms of irritation when I eat them? (Runny nose, burning sinus, upset digestion, low energy, headache, etc.)
• Make a list of the foods from your answers above, and any from the list below that your health care practitioner advises:
Foods problematic for many people:
Dairy
Gluten 
Soy
Corn
Eggs
Peanuts
Tree nuts
Citrus
Shellfish

The list you just made is your list of foods to avoid for 2 weeks.
• Now make a list of foods you CAN include! 

Step 2 – Avoiding
Enjoy eating from the “Eat this” list.
Avoid foods on your “avoid this” list
• For 2 weeks, avoid the foods that may be causing issues.  Many people notice health symptoms improve in the first few days.

Step 3 – Challenging 
• If your symptoms have not improved in two weeks, stop the diet and talk with your health care practitioner about whether or not to try it again with a different combination of foods. 

• If your symptoms improve, start “challenging” your body with the eliminated foods, one food group at a time. As you do this, keep a written record of your symptoms. 

To challenge your body, add a new food group every three days. It takes three days to be sure that your symptoms have time to come back if they are going to.

Step 4 – Choosing
• Based on your results, choose which foods you want to continue eating, which foods to let go, and which foods you want to eat in smaller amounts.

If you would like further guidance in creating a sustainable way of eating, and a happy relationship with food and body, please, schedule a free 30-minute chat HERE to see if I’m the right Mind Body Eating Coach for you! 

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Celebrate the Body!

Over my nearly 20 years as a massage therapist, I’ve seen hundreds of clients over nearly five thousand office hours.  I’ve seen every shape and size of body, but the one thing I’ve seen that every single body has in common is that it is truly a miracle, without doubt.  You may have forgotten that your body is a miracle, and if that’s true for you, you are in the majority, because most of us have.  

We forget about breathing because we don’t have to think about it.  Our miraculous lungs do that for us.  We do not have to think about making our heart beat, so it’s easy to take it for granted and forget that our entire form is a miracle.  When a baby is born – our children and grandchildren – we glimpse the miracle of human life, we may even remember that we are also miracles.  But days, weeks, months, years later we simply don’t think about it because we don’t have to.

Our miracle bodies often take enormous abuse and neglect before breaking down.  They support us 24/7 without ever stopping – even while we sleep – until they stop for good, then our Soul/Spirit/Energy moves on without the body.  The true essence of Who We Are moves on, and leaves the body like an astronaut stepping out of her spacesuit.

Our spacesuit supports life, so it’s worth taking care!  We care for all kinds of things; plants, kids, cars, pets.  If you own a home, you take care of it.  The body is no different!  It is the home for the physical experience of your eternal being.  Our body is supposed to be loved and nourished in return for all it gives us.  Our physical body is meant to be enjoyed while we are in it, and it’s so much easier to enjoy when it’s feeling great.

It’s super easy to fall out of the habit of self-care! 

I’ve been fascinated for years by something I have observed as both a massage therapist and a life/health coach.  I have observed that any time humans feel short on time or money, we let go of the things that serve us best to make space for the “have-tos” in life.  We focus on finances and chase work hours at the expense of our health.  We take care of parents or children, and let go of our own spiritual and physical needs.  Most of us assume that at some point things will calm down and we’ll get back to the yoga class or the spiritual practice when we have more time.

I invite you to celebrate your spacesuit NOW!  That miracle you’re wearing has been with you, supported you, given you life 24/7 since you arrived here.  I invite you to celebrate that amazing feat, that miraculous performance, that steadfast support, in whatever way feels satisfying to you!

Honor the temple that houses your eternal spirit in ways that elevate your spirit!

The following is a short/incomplete list of little daily acts that honor/celebrate/nourish the body.

Brush & floss teeth.
Wash hair.
Moisturize skin.
Eat slowly.
Choose foods that nourish YOU (different for everyone.)
Be present when you eat.
Rest. (Two ten minute relaxation periods a day do wonders.)
Hydrate. 
Soak in the tub.
Move in ways that feel good.
Make love.
Focus on breathing.
Get a massage/facial/mani-pedi.
Walk barefoot in the grass or sand.
Ask the body what it wants and LISTEN to what it’s saying. (MORE on this in my next post!)

Grow on!

Make a list of ways you are already celebrating your body.
Congratulate yourself for all the things you already do.  That’s awesome!
Look at the list above and pick one or two that sound really great to you.
Add them to your schedule and try them out.

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Slow Food

Remember last week’s blog post when I talked about stress, the effects of stress on our body, and the difference between life stress and self-chosen stress? 

If not click this link to read all about it!

This week I want to talk about one self-chosen stressor in particular.  It’s insidious in our culture, and most of us are not even aware that it is a stressor!  

Are you a fast eater, a slow eater, or a moderately paced eater?

Ninety percent of people asked this question answered, “fast”.  And guess what?  Human biology interprets eating fast as being stressed.

Remember, we saw that constant low-level stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:

  • weight gain
  • inability to lose weight
  • inability to build muscle
  • decreased calorie burning
  • increased fat deposits at midsection
  • increased inflammation
  • gut microbiome die off
  • nutrient wasting
  • decreased energy
  • appetite deregulation
  • desensitivity to pleasure
  • decreased metabolism
  • decreased Thyroid function 
  • decreased oxygen uptake
  • poor sleep

Imagine how this affects us if we have a weight challenge, or body transformation goal!  Even if we are not pursuing a food and body goal, none of these optimizes our health.  It makes complete sense that we want to reduce stress whenever possible. 

If you answered that you are a “fast” or even “moderately paced” eater, then you have now identified a stressor that you can choose to get rid of!  Reducing stress always has positive benefits, so why wouldn’t we put some effort into slowing down with our food?

The main reason is because eating fast is a habit. 

Generally, until someone asks us this question, we never even consider our eating speed.  In fact part of the problem is that many of us never even consider our food! 

We may skip breakfast or grab a pastry at the coffee shop, then eat lunch at the desk or running between clients, then grab some take out on the way home for dinner.  If any of these behaviors sound familiar, then you have a golden opportunity to release some of the stress that you carry!

(Slowing down with food is also a first step in releasing patterns of bingeing, after-dinner eating, and overeating.)

If you are interested in trying to break the habit of eating fast, you have much to gain!  So what do you have to lose (besides stress)? 

Here are some other symptoms caused or exacerbated by fast eating which can also diminish or go away completely:

Eating fast is a habit.  Eating more slowly requires some effort because we are creating a new habit, and new habits take time. This is NOT about counting bites. This is about relaxing with food and increasing pleasure! This is about enjoying our mealtimes and boosting happiness. This is about being present, becoming aware & listening to our body.

Fast eating is a habit.

Slow eating is a habit worth cultivating.

Grow on!

If you want to release the stress of fast eating, start by coming to your meals in as relaxed a state as you can.  Try to eat somewhere quiet when possible, or at the very least not in an environment that feels stressful.  Don’t watch the news, and incorporate some music that relaxes you if that appeals to you.

Before you begin to eat, take two or three grounding breaths.  Allow your heart rate to calm, then turn your attention to your meal.  Be present with your food.  Savor the flavor.  Explore the textures on your tongue.  Really enjoy the relaxed time with your food.  Food is meant to be a satisfying pleasure.

If you are eating food you do not enjoy, ask yourself, “why?”.  Food is meant to nourish body, mind and spirit, and we absorb far more nourishment from food we enjoy than from food we do not enjoy.

If you generally take 5 minutes for your meal, try to make it last 10 or 15 minutes.  If you generally eat in 15 minutes, try to stretch that out to half an hour.

I hear you!  

Life is busy.  Sometimes, unfortunately, we might actually have only five minutes to eat.  We can still approach our meal in a more relaxed and calm manner.  If you truly only have a short time, make that time count.  Breathe deeply and relax.  Taste what you are eating.  Be present to the flavor and texture. 

Enjoy!

Find lots more information on the benefits of slowing down when we eat in this fabulous book by Marc David, the founder for the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.

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No one has ever been Motivated by Shame

I feel confident in saying that one of the larger underlying goals of most body transformation goals is to increase the amount that we like ourself, and be more happy.  

I might like myself better in that special occasion dress, or maybe I like myself better as a potential employee at an upcoming interview.  Maybe I believe that I will be more likable to possible romantic partners once I achieve my goal.  I will like my life journey more when I reach that goal!  I’ll like the way I look in my vacation photos more once I look a certain way.  Along our path we became conditioned to believe that we are “not enough” and that our body is not good enough.  “If my body’s not good enough by cultural standards, I can’t love my body.  If I can’t love my body, I have to hate it.”  But we know we’ll like ourselves much more once the body transformation goal is met.

Here’s the fucking problem ~

We try to hate ourselves to the goal!  We may restrict calories, skip meals, increase workouts that we hate, over commit to new changes, get on the scale every day, get discouraged by weight fluctuations, overeat to soothe our emotions, then beat the crap out of ourselves for not being perfect at body transformation in every way.  We compound our brutal physical treatment of ourselves by brutally beating ourselves mentally for what we see as our own failure.

If this sounds familiar to you, please know you are not alone.  This is pretty common human behavior.  It’s the way we’ve been trained to go after our body transformation goals, and we’re beginning to realize that it’s doomed to failure.  We simply cannot hate ourselves into liking ourselves more.  The path to love and friendship is not paved with hate and shame.

No one has ever been motivated by shame.

Shame and self-hate take us in the opposite direction of our goals.

Let’s shift for a minute from a body transformation goal to a reading transformation goal.

Imagine you have a child who is struggling in reading.  The teacher tells you they are behind the rest of their class.  Would we shame and belittle them into reading better?  Would we hate them until they catch up with the rest of the class?  Would we tell them that we can’t love them until they are a better reader?  Of course not!  This course of action would not only damage the psyche, it would cause the child to hate reading.

Will we create success by insisting they do exercises they hate or by finding fun ways to grow their love of reading?  Will they gain more confidence if we yell at them each time they are imperfect or if we are supportive and encouraging each time they perform well?

How can we shift this same loving approach to our weight and body challenges?

Rule #1 ~ Don’t beat yourself up.

Our healing journey is a roller coaster full of ups and downs.  We need to be easy with ourselves as we learn what works for us, and what does not work.  As I mentioned in a previous post, there are no magic fucking beans. There is no magic pill, nor is there one right way to do relationship to food and body, nor one right way to eat.

For these reasons, we are the scientist in our own body transformation journey. Through trial and error we will find what is best for us individually, though it might not be right for anyone else! What does not work is not “failure.” Rather it is valuable information to inform our future choices!

"The more you beat yourself up for doing something you said you didn’t want to do, the more you will continue to return to the ‘scene of the crime’ and you will continue to do the very same thing that you said you didn’t want to do - NOT because there is something wrong with you - but because that is how body wisdom, and life wisdom teaches us.  We learn through repetition, so body wisdom, life wisdom will return us to the scene of the crime - life classroom - until we learn to integrate the lessons.  Until we learn to love ourselves, until we learn to stop beating ourselves up because we did something we said we didn’t want to do. Until we learn to forgive self."  
            ~ Marc David, founder of the Institute for the Psychology of Eating, and author of Nourishing Wisdom: A Mind-Body Approach to Nutrition and Well-Being

Body transformation starts with love, not hate.

If you’re feeling shame or hate about self or body, please remember you’re not alone.  You didn’t make this stuff up – it’s embedded in our culture. Shame and hate feel icky because they do not belong to our true vibration (our true vibration is unconditional love).  Since they don’t belong to us, we can choose to simply let them go! Check out two ways to do this below in the “Grow on!” section.

Letting go of body shame and self-hate is the ESSENTIAL, non-negotiable first step toward every body transformation goal. We can’t transform the body while simultaneously beating it up. Healing transformation can never happen in the presence of the toxic body chemistry created by shame and hate.

True body transformation is possible

Every body transformation is a unique journey, a process that requires time and love. Making the shift from hate to love is possible. If you’d like some help making that shift a reality, you can schedule a private chat with me at THIS LINK, or check out my Body Transformation group at THIS LINK.

Grow on!

Here are two techniques that are wonderfully useful in letting go of negative emotions like shame and hate that do not serve us.

Grounding it – When you become aware of feeling shame or self-hate, remind yourself that it is not yours and you don’t have to carry it.  Take a deep breath and as you exhale, simply drop it onto the ground.  Imagine it pouring out of your palms onto the ground until it is gone and you feel lighter.

Give it to the light – The vibration of shame and hate can feel BIG.  See it shrinking smaller and smaller until it fits in the palm of your hand, or on the tip of one finger.  Hold it up and offer it to the Light.  You feel lighter as the light easily removes the unwanted emotion.

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Marvelous Mind Movies

We want to collect practices that make us feel connected to the energy at the source of everything.  All of us emanate from one Source.  We come from Source, and spend our entire lives trying to reconnect with Source energy because it feels good. Connection with source is what we came here for.  Connecting with Source feels like plugging your human batteries into a charger.  The more practices we collect and play with, the more energy we have for living our lives.

One of the battery-charging practices I love is called Mind Movies.

Mind movies feel GOOD when we see them in our mind.

We each want to curate our own collection of favorite memories, fulfilled desires, sunsets that bring us to tears, magical moments when we feel infused with love, where all is right with our world and we feel as if our lives are charmed and we are connected to the whole universe, and to Source!

When did you last feel high on life? When did you last imagine an upcoming event that was so exciting you could hardly stand to wait for it?

Maybe you felt it the first time you saw your puppy, or maybe you remember feeling completely loved by your grandmother at some moment in the past.  Can you remember a moment where you felt completely connected to your partner as if you were the center of their universe?

I’m not talking about a time period in your life, or a six-month span or even a really fun weekend. I’m talking about moments. Laser focus in on moments that make you feel like your heart has wings.  Like that time in the hot tub at that hotel when the wind came up and for a moment, the entire world seemed magical and perfect.

These moments – our Mind Movies – energize us, sustain us, nourish us, and recharge our batteries.  They don’t even have to be moments that you’ve experienced already, they could be ones that you’re still looking forward to as long as they make you feel uplifted, happy, connected, fulfilled, nourished or joyful when you think them. Play the movies frequently to add energy to your day.

Why do these kinds of thoughts charge our batteries? Our brains run on chemistry, and when we think happy thoughts we create happy chemistry.   Our super human brains are incredibly magnificent, but they have no way of knowing if the thoughts we are thinking are happening right now, in the past, or in the future.  

So we use these mind movies about things that make us feel really good to charge our batteries, and connect us to Source energy.

Mind Movies is just one practice we can play with to charge our batteries, raise our energy, and increase metabolism!  I’ll be talking more about energy-raising toys & practices, so stay tuned!

Grow on!

Set aside some time to sit quietly and mull over your life.  Sift through your memories to find the juiciest, most marvelous, and delicious ones.  Make a list of moments as they come to you.  Imagine them in as much detail as you can remember or CREATE – remember these movies do not have to have already occurred.  We can conjure vibe-raising moments.

What are you wearing? What do you smell, taste, hear?  Is it windy? Sunny? Are you in the forrest, mountains, at the coast?  The more details you add, the more vivid the movie!

Keep your list of Mind Movies handy to raise your vibe whenever you want!

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Failed Fucking Fairy Tales

Do you remember Aesop’s fables?  

Slow and steady wins the race.

The fable always ended with the turtle winning the race.  I knew the moral was to go slow and make steady progress.  Be a turtle.  But I did not want to be a turtle.  The rabbit was full of love for life!  He visited with friends, enjoyed a good meal, and took pleasure in napping! He didn’t win, but he certainly enjoyed himself along the way.  

Hard work makes us stingy.

All day, every day the ants work hard while the grasshopper plays music, relaxes, and enjoys life.  The ants grow mean because they take no pleasure from life, and leave the grasshopper to die.  You just know if that grasshopper had food he would share it with the ants, because he’s happy and enjoying his life!  I could not understand why the ants were so mad at him for being in his joy.

What about those fairy tales full of quick fix magic?  

Beans grow into a ladder that leads to wealth.  A kiss can reverse death, and transform love into it’s true form.  Spinning wheels turn barn straw into purest gold, and Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo solves all that is wrong in the world.

In my child’s mind – to make it in this world, I either needed to find my fairy godmother, or work my fingers to the bone.  Magic leads to happily ever after, and the path of hard work leaves one hardened, cruel, and unwilling to share.  

Is it any wonder people are always looking for a panacea?

panacea ~
noun - cure-all, universal remedy, elixir, wonder drug, magic bullet.

I can’t tell you how many times I wished for a pill that would magically let me eat anything I wanted, while becoming slender and fit, or how many times I started a diet hoping I would become model-thin as quickly as possible so I could get away from boring rabbit food and return to eating what I wanted to eat.  

Once it became clear that the required magic was missing, I returned to my favored foods until the next quick-fix diet came along, and I’d jump on that bandwagon hoping for the magic doorway to a perfect body (whatever I thought that meant at the time).

Magic is real.

Real magic is not in the beans, the wand, or the kiss.  Real magic exists in the slow, sustainable, baby steps.  The turtle had the magic all along!  Sure we recognized that his slow and steady progress won the day, but he made it look so dull!  Of course we want to keep moving toward our goal, but we need some fun while we move through our days.  Remember those stingy ants!

So we want to be both a turtle moving toward our goal in small sustainable steps, and a rabbit bouncing through life enjoying our journey.  I know that’s not what the fairy tales promised, but they fucking lied.  The magic is not outside us.

Real magic is inside each of us.  We are powerful beyond measure!

So why do we frequently NOT feel powerful?

We deplete our own power when we look outside ourselves for magic.  We literally hand our power over by denying that it is inside us! To wield our power, we must first own it.

Looking for the quick fix draws our attention away from our true Source of power.  If I believe that I am going to find a magic bean to fix my issues, why on earth would I ever try to do it on my own?  If we believe the answer is “out there,” we forget to look in here.  We forget that every goal is within reach if we just take one small step today, and another small step tomorrow, and one more the day after that.  We have the magic to manifest anything! 

Time is the missing ingredient. 

We own the power to create sustainable change one step at a time, but since we believe magic is supposed to happen overnight, we give up too soon before the magic has time to get a foothold.  We cry that we haven’t got what it takes, and that magic must not be real.  Real magic takes time.  We can create real change that lasts by believing we have the power, and mixing in the crucial ingredient: time.

When we choose fairy tale magic – we try, expect instant results, count it a fail, and give up.

When we choose real magic – we try, give it time, move toward the goal, give it time, adjust our efforts, move toward the goal, give it time, grow more confident, take bigger steps, paint broader strokes, and create the most beautiful, magical life we can imagine.  But we’ve got to believe in our own magic, and give it time to transform us.

Happily Ever After!

I hate to break it to you, but fairy tales fucked this up, too.  We will never reach a place where all is perfectly perfect, and no change, growth, or expansion is desired or required! Happiness is not a destination to reach someday, which is REALLY great news!  We can choose to be happy now instead of waiting to be happy at the end!

We can choose to be happy for no reason at all other than it feels GOOD to feel happy.

We can choose to be happy because we know we have magic.  We know that mixing our magic with time allows us to wield great power that transforms – our bodies, our lives, our careers, our relationships – whatever we wish, into whatever we want.  

Magic is a process.  Own your magic.  Give it time.  
There are no magic fucking beans.

Grow on! 

What is it you most want to transform? 
What is one small action you can take that moves you toward that transformation? 
Play with making a list of several actions that might lead toward that transformation, and play with the one that sounds most fun, or that you found effective in the past when you tried it. 
Play with that action for awhile and see how it fits. 
Try giving it time for the magic to grow. 
When you’re ready, choose another action and integrate that for awhile to see how it feels.  This is the process of creating magical transformation.

Studies show that coaching helps support your transformation magic by lending support, encouragement, and a solid belief that you do already have the magic.  We learn through repetition, so all transformation takes time.  If you are ready to create magic and would like some support, CLICK THIS LINK to schedule a free chat to see if I am the right coach for you!

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Emotions ~ What the fuck are they, and why do they feel the way they feel?

Emotions are energy in motion. Human beings are energy flowers. 
In this context, flower means one who flows energy (flow-er), but I love the image of us as energy flowers!

Pascal Debrunner-unsplash

In simplest terms, emotions indicate which direction we are flowing our energy: toward Source, or away from Source.  The frequency of Source energy is unconditional love.  Source energy (unconditional love) is at the core of every human, emanating from us, and calling to us.

Our emotions tell us if we are moving toward, or away from, that unconditional love!  Pretty cool, right?

When we experience high-vibe emotions like joy, love, passion, or appreciation, we feel great!  These emotions resonate with our natural frequency, feel happy in our body, and may cause a lightness in our heart and mind.  We sometimes describe it as feeling like all is right in our world.

Unconditional love resonates with humans because that’s what we are!  Source is unconditional love, and we are made of Source energy, so of course high-vibe emotions feel right and familiar.

When we experience low-vibe emotions like insecurity, unworthiness, depression, powerlessness or toxic-shame, we kinda feel like shit, right?

The reason these emotions feel crappy in our body is because they do NOT resonate with the unconditional love at our core.  Low-vibe emotions feel discordant, jagged, heavy, and uncomfortable because they are a completely different frequency than the Source energy at our core.

When we find ourselves experiencing shitty feeling emotions, it only ever means one thing: we are thinking in a way that Source would NEVER think.  We are thinking unloving thoughts about ourselves or others.  Source energy does NOT see us (or anyone) as unworthy, unloveable, or powerless. Not ever. 

Source sees us in every moment as the lovable, worthy, all-powerful, joyful beings that we are!

So Source stands at our core KNOWING the truth of who we are, flowing through us and feeling amazing.  When we are loving ourselves, we feel great because we are in vibrational alignment with our soul.  When we are doubting ourselves, or thinking hateful thoughts, it feels OFF, because it is out of alignment with the truth of who we are.

Sometimes when we experience heavier vibrations, we get stuck.  When we think enough thoughts that feel unworthy, unlovable, and powerless, we can begin to believe that we are unworthy, unlovable, and powerless, instead of understanding that these are simply signposts showing us that we are thinking thoughts that are moving us away from our true vibration.

So when we feel crappy, NOTHING has gone wrong! It does NOT mean that we are crappy, or have failed in any way. It does not mean we are stuck here and will always feel crappy. It’s simply a sign that we are, in that moment, flowing energy away from the alignment that feels good.

Once we recognize the signs – physical sensations we feel in our body – we can choose to pivot back toward unconditional love.  Then we can move toward alignment with our natural frequency again where we feel great.

Our emotions are signposts. They show us where we are going by feeling happy or crappy.  Then we get to choose to keep going, or course-correct. Doesn’t it sound FUN to practice better feeling, high-vibe emotions that align us with love, joy, abundance, health, and vibrant energy?!

Grow on!

What signs are your emotions giving you?
How do you feel about that?
How much do you like the emotional direction you are traveling?
How quickly are you able to pivot when you want to? This takes practice, so let’s be gentle with ourselves while learning this new skill!

If you want to learn more about identifying and following your own emotional signposts, or learn how to shift emotional direction, coaching can help.

To find out if I am the right coach for you, click HERE, then check “chat with Cyndi” and click “continue” to schedule a date/time that work for you. It’s free, and you’ll walk away with at least one action to move you in any direction you want to go!

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