I want to be a warrior.

My friend and mentor, Lisa Kaplin, posted this poem from Jeff Foster on her blog recently. It’s powerfully inspiring, and describes beautifully the consciousness to which I aspire, and that I wish for all living beings.

I wish to be this type of warrior.

How I Became A Warrior
by Jeff Foster

Once,
I ran from fear
so fear controlled me.
Until I learned to hold fear
like a newborn.
Listen to it,
but not give in.
Honour it,
but not worship it.
Fear could not stop me
anymore.
I walked with courage
into the storm.
I still have fear,
but it does not have me.
Once,
I was ashamed of who I was.
I invited shame into my heart.
I let it burn.
It told me, "I am only trying
to protect your vulnerability."
I thanked shame dearly,
and stepped into life anyway,
unashamed,
with shame as a lover.
Once,
I had great sadness
buried deep inside.
I invited it to come out and play.
I wept oceans.
My tear ducts ran dry.
And I found joy right there.
Right at the core of my sorrow.
It was heartbreak that taught
me how to love.
Once,
I had anxiety.
A mind that wouldn't stop.
Thoughts that wouldn't be silent.
So I stopped trying to
silence them.
And I dropped out of the mind,
and into the Earth.
Into the mud.
Where I was held strong
like a tree,
unshakeable,
safe.
Once,
anger burned in the depths.
I called anger into the light
of myself.
I felt its shocking power.
I let my heart pound
and my blood boil.
Listened to it,
finally.
And it screamed,
"Respect yourself fiercely now!"
"Speak your truth with passion!"
"Say no when you mean no!"
"Walk your path with courage!"
"Let no one speak for you!"
Anger became an honest friend.
A truthful guide.
A beautiful wild child.
Once,
loneliness cut deep.
I tried to distract
and numb myself.
Ran to people and places
and things.
Even pretended I was "happy."
But soon I could not run anymore.
And I tumbled into the heart
of loneliness.
And I died and was reborn
into an exquisite solitude
and stillness that connected me
to all things.
So I was not lonely,
but alone with All Life.
My heart One with all other hearts.
Once,
I ran from difficult feelings.
Now, they are my advisors,
confidants, friends,
and they all have a home in me,
and they all belong
and have dignity.
I am sensitive, soft, fragile,
my arms wrapped around
all my inner children.
And in my sensitivity, power.
In my fragility,
an unshakeable presence.
In the depths of my wounds,
in what I had named “darkness,”
I found a blazing Light
that guides me now in battle.
I became a warrior
when I turned towards myself.
And started listening.

2 Replies to “I want to be a warrior.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.