It’s no wonder so many people fail to lose weight.
Losing Weight is NOT Possible.
Losing something requires inattentiveness to it. When we’re not paying attention to our food and movement we usually lose health, but we GAIN weight.
We can absolutely release excess weight if we wish to do so, but we’re not going to LOSE it! We will not suddenly wake up and be surprised the weight is missing. “Where did those extra pounds go?! They just vanished. I’ve lost them somewhere!”
While losing something requires inattention, releasing excess weight takes GREAT attention to detail! Releasing weight requires us to pay attention to the healthy goals we’ve set, and take deliberate actions that lead away from inattention.
Making sustainable life changes requires attention! We have to switch OFF the autopilot and guide the journey manually making one course correction at a time.
We begin to pay close attention to the voice in our head, and course correct every time it sounds harsh and critical. We notice the emotional vibrations happening in our body, and begin to understand how those emotions drive our actions. And we begin to cultivate emotions that drive actions that deliberately lead us to our goals for better health!
If you have been trying to lose weight for awhile, and you feel like your journey keeps looping back to the beginning, I invite you to STOP trying to lose weight.
Get curious about why the excess weight is here at this time. Begin making a plan to release any excess weight. Then pay attention to every detail of your plan until it leads you right where you wish to be.
Grow on!
Why do you want to release weight? How motivating is that reason for you? If excess weight is a message from the Universe, what is it saying? What do you need to let go of to reach your goal? What is one action can you take today that leads you in that direction?
I recently had a conversation with a client who was pondering the fact that death is the ultimate act of release. She wisely pointed out that some things are easier to release than others, and I am inspired by the way she is actively practicing letting go in different areas of life.
All humans have attachments. That’s completely normal. However the more attached we are, the more we fight to hold on to the thing we are attached to.
When we become truly attached to something, we will fight to keep it even when it damages our wellbeing. The thought of losing it creates distress and anxiety. For example, for the alcoholic, the thought of living without daily alcohol may cause panic, even if she is aware that the alcohol is damaging her health in many ways.
Some people remain in abusive relationships because they cannot imagine a life without the person who is abusing them. Some people choose to remain in extremely stressful jobs that cause health problems because they can’t imagine earning their big salary any other way. We can become attached to all kinds of beliefs that create fear and anxiety. (I’m not ‘whatever’ – smart, thin, rich, worthy, healthy, pretty, educated, experienced – enough.)
An infinite variety of manufactured foods deplete our energy and damage our health. These have been designed specifically to be addicting in order to drive up corporate profits. People often reach for these addictive foods to soothe themselves long after we realize the effect that food is having on our health. It’s hard to give up a food or an addiction that makes us feel better!
Habitual thoughts and behaviors can also limit our potential for optimum happiness and wellbeing. Judgement and self-criticism are two of the biggest limiting behaviors that humans develop by way of constant cultural conditioning.
Give it up!
I know it’s not easy to release something that is woven into the fabric of our lives! However, I invite you to begin playing with letting go of whatever it is that’s limiting you. If there is something you can’t imagine your life without, I encourage you to begin imagining your life without it.
Play with letting go of judgement and criticism and see how it feels. What happens to your energy? Your mood? Imagine doing the kind of job that leaves you happy and satisfied at the end of the day. What would that look like for you? I’m not asking you to figure out HOW to leave your crappy job and find a lucrative career you adore, I’m just inviting you to imagine that it is POSSIBLE.
Imagination is the first step of manifestation.
Practice letting go of anything that no longer serves you. If your food choices are not helping you manifest optimum health, practice letting go of some of those foods for awhile to see how you feel. You can always go back to those foods later if you want, but at least allow yourself to experience what it’s like to let them go for a few weeks. What’s the worst that could happen? You might feel better!
Do you HATE to work out, and prefer being sedentary? Imagine yourself deeply enjoying some FUN kind of movement that feels good to your body. I’m not asking you to go join a gym, I’m asking you to imagine yourself enjoying movement. I’m encouraging you to give up the idea that you hate moving your body. Play with some new ways to move that MIGHT feel good to you, and just IMAGINE doing them for awhile. Maybe you’ll get inspired to move. What’s the worst that could happen? You might really have fun!
When we play with letting go of anything that limits us, we can begin optimizing our health, wealth, and unlimited potential!
Grow on!
What’s holding you back? What habitual patterns would you love to release? What does it feel like when you imagine releasing them? What are you ready to release? What are you ready to IMAGINE yourself releasing? How will your life be different when you release that?
Need some help? If you want help releasing what’s holding you back, schedule a chat with me to see if coaching can help you move from where you are to where you’d LOVE to be!
I needed to make a quick stop at a grocery store. I only needed five or six items, but one of them is consistently difficult to find, so I chose to drive out of my way to a higher-end grocery store where they usually carry it. I was thrilled to see they had it in stock, and picked three of them off the shelf.
One of the other items I needed was grapes. I found what I wanted in the produce department, but when I looked at the price tag I nearly fell on the floor. $3.88 a pound for grapes seemed excessive even for this place. However, just below the extortionist price they were advertising in large print, was much smaller print saying the same grapes were available for $1.77 a pound if you have the electronic coupon.
I hate electronic coupons.
But to save over $2 a pound, I was willing to put in a little effort. While standing in the produce aisle I dutifully downloaded the store’s app, and attempted to create an account. However as soon as I entered my email, it told me that my address already has an account and asked me to enter my password. I didn’t even remember installing the app before, and I certainly didn’t remember whatever password was created for me at that time.
The app prompted me to check my email to get a new password. Now I realize that most people these days who have smartphones have their email available 24/7.
I am not one of those people.
I do not have access to my email on my smartphone. I don’t usually put apps on my smartphone other than Google maps.
You know what I do with my smartphone? I make phone calls.
By this time I was frustrated, and when I realized how long I had been standing in the produce aisle I also became irritated. I decided to take my purchase to the checkout, plead ignorance, and throw myself on the mercy of the kind cashier to give me the sale price.
The cashier was overly cheerful, and said she would ring up my order and send me down to see Sally Sue in customer service. I said, “but will I get the sale price on the grapes?”
She said, “I’m not going to charge you. I’m just going to ring everything up and give you the receipt and send you down to see Sally Sue and she’ll take care of everything.”
I was truly exasperated that the cashier didn’t just have a QR she could scan and give me the correct price! I mean, in the old days if I had forgotten to clip a coupon from the paper and bring it with me, they would have a copy of the newspaper sitting by the register so they could scan the sale price. However in today’s world where electronic communications make our lives so much easier and faster, they do not seem to possess that technology!
By the time I got down to customer service to see Sally Sue, I was running 20 minutes late. I was frustrated, irritated, and getting annoyed. My normally cheerful demeanor was wearing whisper thin.
I explained to Sally Sue what I had explained to the cashier. “You can’t give the sale price to just some of the people. It’s UNFAIR. When you have an advertised price, it’s for everyone, not just those with superior tech skills. It’s ageist, and discriminatory!” I added
I was feeling disenfranchised and disregarded, and I could feel my face getting hot. I know my voice had gotten louder because Sally Sue said, “Lower your voice please ma’am, I’m standing right here.”
That did not have the effect Sally Sue wanted it to have.
“I am frustrated! I am irritated! And now I feel embarrassed because you think I’m too stupid to use your app, and you top it off by making me jump through all these hoops that other shoppers don’t have to jump through. My voice is NOT going to be lowered right now because I am upset by your unfair policy and I want to register a complaint!”
In my peripheral vision, I could see the people in the self checkout lanes stopping to watch. As my voice rose louder, the shoppers split into two camps, those who turned away quickly, and those who couldn’t stop watching my train wreck.
Sally Sue gave me the discount on the grapes without asking me to lower my voice again.
I stormed out of the store nearly in tears I was so pissed off, got home called the store’s 800 number and registered an official complaint with the customer service department.
As CERTAIN as I was standing in that store demanding what I KNEW was right, the self-doubt monster creeped in and drained my energy even more than the encounter at the grocery store had done.
Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at Sally Sue. Maybe I was “too much” again. I’ve often been told I can be too much.
I didn’t beat myself up over it, I just acknowledged that I had a very human moment. No harm no foul. I congratulated myself that I had somehow refrained from dropping any F-bombs, which if you know me at all, you realize was quite the fucking feat.
So, I didn’t beat me up over it, but I didn’t feel all that proud of me either. That is UNTIL I talked to my amazing coach, Jill Lebeau.
As it happened, I had a chat scheduled with my coach and mentor the day after I lost my shit in the grocery store. You know how she reframed it for me? Fucking perfectly.
“I don’t call that losing your shit my dear!” She said, “I call that stepping into your power. I call that speaking your mind. I call that being your authentic self and calling them on their bullshit policy. Wow! Look at you. I’m impressed. You’re amazing.”
She’s right of course. I didn’t do anything wrong, but something deep inside me wanted to cast myself as bad-guy or wrong-doer. Some long ago conditioning about how women are supposed to behave.
Well fuck that. Well behaved women, apparently do NOT get the sale price on grapes.
Overcoming life-long conditioning takes time and practice, and a little help. The more we unravel ourselves and our energy from that old conditioning, the more empowered we become! It’s one of the things I help my clients with on a regular basis, and it’s one of the reasons I have regularly scheduled appointments with my coach.
Sometimes it takes help to become aware of where we’re still hooked into those old beliefs that limit our lives.
You can ask anyone who knows me. MOST days I am a fucking ray of sunshine. And also, I will not hesitate to get stormed up and unleash my thunder when that is what’s required.
I have been feeling a little stressed lately. Thinking about family worries, financial setbacks, and fading friendships has left me feeling a bit depleted. Unexpected and unwelcome changes to holiday plans left me feeling picked on because my expectations weren’t met. Why is it always ME that has to compromise?
Honestly I was feeling disappointed, and slightly victimized.
My friend and mentor, encouraged me to think about how I want to FEEL on a daily basis throughout the holidays, and suggested I choose a word or phrase to use as a guiding light through the coming weeks.
Thinking about that, I decided that I want to feel my power. I want to feel the way I feel when I am connected to Source energy, and letting the Light of undiluted Love flow through me! And I want that for everyone else, too. I want to see pure positive energy – the Light of unconditional Love – spread like wildfire across the globe.
I am the Light.
THAT is how I wish to feel throughout the holidays and into the New Years, and decades ahead! I am the Light.
When I am the Light, I cannot feel disappointment or fear. I simply shine from within. I shine with infinite Source energy. I am not bound by limiting expectations, because all I expect is illumination – no matter my direction of travel.
Jesus talks about not putting one’s light under a bushel but making it visible for all to see. Christianity says Christ is the light in all beings. Science talks of photons or light waves being present in every atom in the universe. Buddhism says Buddha is always shining, always emitting light. Buddha said, “Be you lamps unto yourselves.” – Daily Meditations
I am the Light.
This is my mantra for the holiday season, and coming year.
I am the Light.
When I feel powerless, I choose to step into my power – the Truth of Who I am. I am Goddess, Source Energy, the energy that creates worlds, and I am neither powerless, nor victim. Not fucking EVER.
I am the Light.
I CHOOSE to be the Light. I choose to SHINE. I choose to love – unconditionally. I choose Faith. I choose to TRUST that the Universe has my back. I choose to BELIEVE that everything turns out for the highest good, even when my human mind cannot see HOW it is good. I choose to believe that I am worthy, and so is everyone else, even when I feel crappy. I choose to spend time in nature because it feeds my soul. I follow the Light within. I am the Light I see in reflected in my world. I am the Light, and I choose to fucking SHINE!
I am the Light.
Please remember that YOU, too, are the Light.
Winter Solstice is the darkest time of year. Let’s give ourselves, and each other the gift of being the Light. I wish you a new year full of health, abundance, opportunities, and blessings.
Don’t just notice them. Appreciate the fuck out of them!
Appreciation is the HIGHEST vibe available to humans. Love and appreciation are the same. We are here on this planet to allow love to flow through us and into our world!
I know that life on earth is a mixed bag. It’s super easy to focus on challenges and obstacles – they arise to shift our focus. But often we become SO focussed on the challenge, that we don’t even notice miracles, let alone appreciate them.
I invite you to let the love flow, for no other reason than it feels fucking amazing! When you feel yourself contract in fear (worry, guilt, regret, resentment, etc…), take a deep grounding breath and allow yourself to expand into love.
How?
Infuse appreciation into every miracle around.
Now, if we have been focused on fear for awhile, we may not even recognize the miracles. If this is where you find yourself, don’t panic. You are not alone in this by any score, and nothing has gone wrong! We are culturally conditioned to look for what is going wrong or might go wrong, threats to our lives, finances, and health, and circumstances outside of our control.
It is my honor, and great pleasure, to help people refocus on ALL we have to appreciate in our lives! Recognizing everyday miracles, and flowing love & appreciation to them serves our health, uplifts our mood, and connects us to infinite wisdom.
I present an incomplete list of miracles to which we can flow love and appreciation.
sunshine
rain
clouds
oxygen
flowers
gardens
trees
birds
butterflies
rainbows
food (other stuff exists that provides nutrients we require to survive!)
dogs
cats
babies
running hot water
internet and the level of connectivity it provides
grocery delivery! (Imagine what pioneers on the prairie would MAKE of that!)
true friends
imagination!
challenges & obstacles – It is common to curse obstacles, and cast the self as victim when challenges arise. If we shift our point of view and ask what Love is teaching with this challenge, the way through becomes clear. The challenge is ALWAYS a gift, even when we cannot see the value.
legs that carry us through life
eyes to see the beauty in the world
arms to hold the ones we love
intestines that digest everything, even when we eat unconsciously.
an immune system that protects our lives from unseeable organisms
tastebuds!
lungs that inhale and exhale
blood that delivers oxygen and nutrients
organs that serve our survival without us even understanding what they do!
a heart that beats without us having to think about it, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, every week of every year of our life!
eardrums!
our ability to smell pine, and cloves, and roses, and puppy breath
Self! – the sum total of billions of living cells that compose the flesh, and life that are you, is nothing short of a miracle!
There is NOTHING more important to which we flow our love and appreciation than self. Self-love is the key to transforming anything we wish to change. And if there is nothing we wish to change, flowing love and appreciation to self will enhance the perfection we are enjoying!
If we see nothing to appreciate, it is only because we have not cultivated an appreciation of the miracles that surround us. We have been conditioned to take miracles for granted.
We can absolutely condition ourselves to see them everywhere. We invite MORE miracles by focusing on miracles!
Grow on!
I invite us to bask in the sunlight of our own miraculous being. I invite us to look for miracles, NAME them, and infuse them with appreciation and love. Start with the ones I list above. More and more miracles will become obvious. Practice looking at challenges as a miracle designed by our soul to provide an amazing gift, and deeper understanding of love.
When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.
In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.
My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly.
He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me. I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.
After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.
Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?
The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.
I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.
I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.
That’s right. You heard me.
If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again!
So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release.
What can we do about this confusing challenge?
It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!
It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.
Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.
Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.
Somewhere to begin.
Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!
ABC Process
Awareness Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.
Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:
Breathe Take a nice deep grounding breath.
Choose Choose love. Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.
It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up.
When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!
Somewhere to practice.
Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing.
If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.
Grow on!
Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.
Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.
Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!
A shift in mindset can literally be the difference between experiencing a living hell, or living heaven on earth.
Mindset is EVERYTHING. Mindset is the vibrational set point of our thinking. It is the accumulation of established thoughts and beliefs we hold to be true.
Energy attracts like energy, so what we vibrate, we attract.
We can think of our vibrational set point (mindset) as our radio station. Our current mindset is the station to which we’re tuned. Therefore the ONLY thing we can currently experience is what’s being broadcast on our station. If we do not like our experience, we must change the station to get something different.
We cannot change the experience being broadcast. In order to experience a different broadcast, we must change our station, by changing how we perceive.
What we perceive is what we receive.
If we believe that we live in a godless universe, where others cannot be trusted, where we must do it all on our own, and struggle for what we have; we are having a very different experience broadcast to us than someone who believes that the Universe has her back, sends frequent angels to support her, and flows resources to her effortlessly.
Changing our radio station (mindset) allows us to attract something different than we have been experiencing. If we are not currently enjoying our experience, it is vital to shift our mindset. In order to shift our mindset to attract something different than we have been attracting, we must begin to shift the thoughts we are thinking, and be willing to let go of beliefs that do not serve us.
The question then is, how do we change what we believe?
Awareness is always the first step! We can only change something if we are AWARE that we want to change it. Once we have recognized that something we think or believe no longer serves us, we need a process to help us overwrite those beliefs with new ones that support and inspire us!
We need a process because if we truly believe something, we cannot simply stop believing that, and start believing something contrary. The human brain won’t leap like that.
For example, we cannot go from thinking, “I hate my body because it’s fat,” to thinking, “I love my body unconditionally,” in the same breath. Our vibration will physically reject the opposing thought because it does not resonate with our current mindset/vibration.
Wheels & Ladders
Here are four processes wonderful for shifting mindset, or point of attraction.
Focus Wheel Process
Esther Hicks and Abraham offered us the Focus Wheel Process in the book Ask and it is Given.
We place the thought we wish to believe in the center, then write thoughts around the outside which we already believe, thoughts that resonate with our current mindset, meaning – we already believe them. Practicing these believable thoughts moves us closer to the center thought we wish to believe.
Esther says to use the focus wheel process:
When you realize that your current Vibrational Point of Attraction is not where you want it to be.
When you are aware that you are feeling negative emotion about something that is important, and you want to find a way of feeling positive emotion instead.
When something has just happened that is not to your liking, and you want to think about it while it is on your mind and change your point of attraction so that it does not happen again.
When you are reaching for a feeling of relief.
For me, the key bit here is reaching for a feeling of relief. When we are thinking thoughts that make us feel icky, anxious, or worried, finding thoughts that RELIEVE the anxiety, worry, and shame is solid GOLD.
Abraham’s Focus Wheel Process is highly effective for many people.
Training Wheels
Another process we can use to shift our thoughts, our mindset, our vibrational point of attraction is Training Wheels. Training wheels help us soften the thought we desire to believe, and bring it closer to our current vibrational range. Training wheels are sentence fragments tacked onto the thought we wish to believe.
Examples of Training Wheels: Why is it so easy to… I am learning to… I am ready to… I feel empowered when… Today I begin to… I choose to…
Training wheels on our example: I love my body unconditionally. Why is it so easy to love my body unconditionally? I am learning to love my body unconditionally. I am ready to love my body unconditionally. I feel empowered when I love my body unconditionally. Today I begin to love my body unconditionally. I choose to love my body unconditionally.
If the training wheel thought is one we BELIEVE, we are on our way! Shifting from a limiting belief to an inspiring belief takes PRACTICE, so we want to practice the training wheel thought frequently until we feel ready to take the training wheels off.
Training Wheels Process is a super effective way to begin shifting our beliefs!
Laddering Thoughts
I love Laddering Thoughts Process! Imagine the limiting belief on the bottom rung of the ladder. Now place the thought we WANT to think at the top of the ladder.
Now we climb the ladder one better-feeling thought at a time! Each thought is a rung on the ladder taking us closer to the empowering thought at the top. You can absolutely use Training Wheels to help you up the ladder if you find some that raise your vibration.
You can also use neutral thoughts since neutral is always a higher vibe than negative. For example, instead of the negatively charged, “I hate my body” we can use the neutral statement, “I have a body” to climb one rung up on the ladder. That’s a true statement, so it can resonate with anyone. “My body has physically supported me since birth,” is also true. If it resonates, we can use it to climb one rung closer to the higher vibration we desire!
Try these thoughts, and if they resonate, we can climb the next rung:
Some people love their bodies unconditionally. I would like to love my body unconditionally. The more I love my body, the more it loves me back. Occasionally, I love my body unconditionally. It is possible to love my body unconditionally.
Remember: you need to practice the Laddering Thoughts that resonate for you every day, throughout the day. Once a thought feels more believable, move up the ladder!
Stairway to Heaven
I adore the Laddering Thoughts Process, and I love to shift thoughts from bad feeling to good feeling, and from good feeling to better feeling.
So I shifted the idea of the thought ladder into the image of a fully supported staircase with double handrails. Now instead of my steps being shaky, or unstable, I feel steady and supported as I climb my Thought Stairway!
The handrail I offer is a choice of uplifting thoughts galore. Many years ago I began creating positive affirmation cards (daily mantra or empowerment cards) for a friend who was going through challenging times.
I take positive statements that feel good when I say them, and print them on my inspiring landscape photography. Currently I have created more than 500, and I invite you to freely download any that resonate for you, and use them to support you on your Stairway to Heaven on Earth!
My fabulous fucking Toy Box contains a treasure trove of guiding support from many wise hearts who are consistently lighting the way toward Heaven on Earth. I invite you to explore and play with these amazing resources, and incorporate whatever resonates for you. This is how we feel supported and guided as we shift our thoughts up the stairs.
We can use our Thought Stairway to climb from wherever we are on the vibrational scale to wherever we wish to be on the vibrational scale. Thought Stairway can lift us from the deepest depths of despair, unworthiness, and shame, right up to heaven on earth!
With PRACTICE.
These wonderful processes help us retrain our neural pathways, and that takes time and practice.
I encourage you not to give up! We reach a tipping point when we finally feel closer to the top of the staircase than the bottom, and that is when we keep practicing!
We play with shifting our thoughts upward. We keep joyfully rising toward that higher vibration, toward renewed mindset, and fresh perspectives.
This is our spiritual practice, to move ourselves closer and closer to the perspective/vibration of that which we call God, Source Energy, Infinite Wisdom. Because living fully in that energy here and now is what it means to live in Heaven on Earth.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you thinking that are limiting your growth? How does that thought feel when you think it? What emotion would you rather feel? What thought can you think that creates that desired emotion within you? Play with the above processes to climb from the limiting thought to the freeing one!
Millions of thoughts pop into our heads every day. Some of them are constructive, and some, not so much. Some of them feel wonderful, and some create fear. Some inspire confidence, others manifest self-doubt.
The trick is to remember that if they pop in uninvited, you only need to entertain the ones you enjoy!
I talk to my clients all the time about “milking the moment” when they have a thought that feels wonderful. We want to hang onto those as long as we can, and really milk them for every drop of pleasure that we can get.
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what we enjoy, the more the Universe brings us to enjoy!
So what about those thoughts that pop in unannounced that are destructive, fear filled, and confidence crushing? My advice is to get rid of them the instant we become aware of them.
It’s perfectly understandable, when experiencing a financial or medical uncertainty, that scary thoughts and worst case scenarios might pop into out head. But these thoughts are here without invitation, so we don’t throw them a big party and invite them to stay!
As soon as I notice that my mind has wandered into a scary neighborhood, I quickly repeat “nope, nope, nope!” It’s like a little energy canceling mantra I use to retrieve my energy from unwanted territory. The quicker I can catch myself, and redirect with “nope, nope, nope” the better!
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what is unwanted, the more the Universe brings us what is unwanted!
Of course we occasionally must focus on something we’d rather not, like preparing our taxes. But I’m talking about creating stories in our head of unreal events that may never happen. It’s a HUGE, and completely unnecessary, waste of our energy. The faster we vacate that territory, the calmer, happier, and more energized we will feel!
Nope, nope, nope!
Then we can intentionally shift attention onto something we DO want to attract. We can entertain best case scenarios and visualize those. Or if the energy is currently too charged around that topic, shift subjects entirely and focus on something that is sure to lift your energy and inspire you. Your grandkids, your pet, crafts or hobbies, podcasts meant to inspire. Whatever it is for you.
After the nope, nope, nope disrupts the negative energy, focus on anything that allows you to feel uplifted, happy, empowered, or inspired.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you currently entertaining that could use a good “Nope, nope, nope!”?
Create a list of as many people, places, and practices you can think of that never fail to comfort you, or make you feel amazing.
For an incomplete list of resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive, check out my fabulous fucking toy box at THIS LINK!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.
We are not weak willed. We are not broken. There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.
This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!
This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.
Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.
Overeating is rooted in…
The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.
Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.
STRESS
The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.
FAST EATING
Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING
Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel.
When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?
MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS
Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive. Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut
have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
are vital to reproductive function. Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.
There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.
LOW NUTRIENT FOODS
If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.
MEAL SKIPPING
Appetite is our friend. Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.
Eating when hungry = Life.
Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.
If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.
It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.
Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!
The Kindness Key
Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!
Kindness First! Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time.
We feel bad, we eat food,we feel better.
It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.
When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself!
When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.
When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.
Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle.
We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.
The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.
I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).
The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively.
This is how we break the cycle.
NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.
Kindness unlocks Curiosity!
Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!
We can ask questions like:
What triggered the overeating?
What thought was I thinking?
What emotion was I trying to soothe?
What was I really hungry for?
What would have been most nourishing for me?
How can I soothe myself other than with food?
Curiosity increases our Awareness!
We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.
Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.
Grow on!
If you are overeating, you are not alone.
Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
First and foremost, you are God. The energy animating our flesh is Divine Source energy, or what people like to call God.
Your core energy is Divine. My core energy is Divine. Their core energy is Divine.
Every one of us is an expression of the Divine Source energy that created everything in the Universe. We are absolutely perfect despite whatever flaws or shortcomings we think we perceive. When we begin with this understanding, it’s easy to see that no one is better than anyone. We are all equal, all One energy.
How other people think, and speak about me is NONE of my business because it has NOTHING to do with me.
What other people think of me, and how they treat me has NOTHING to do with me.
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only ONE thing, and it’s NOT me!
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only one thing: How in alignment, or out of alignment they are with their own core energy.
How in alignment, or out of alignment THEY are with THEIR own core energy. (Not my energy.) It has NOTHING to do with me.
Trying to figure out why they don’t like me, or why they treated me like that, or what I did “wrong” is a complete WASTE of energy! Trying to change their mind is also a huge waste of energy, and generally backfires because we feel defensive.
Does it feel good to be liked by others?
Absolutely!
Is it necessary for your wellbeing?
Not a chance.
If we live in such a way as to BE what someone else wants us to be, we are not our true authentic self. To BE the YOU that you came here to be, you must learn to listen to the guidance INSIDE of YOU. When we look outside for guidance, it’s complete chaos!
Why?
Have you ever tried to get EVERYBODY, or even a large group of people to agree on ANYTHING? Everyone has their own idea about what’s right or wrong, or effective, based ONLY on their own experience and viewpoint. They do NOT have a guide book with hard and fast rules that work for every life.
Diet as an example. How much do people agree on what the perfect weight loss plan is? Do you see that working for EVERYONE?
WHY follow a path that someone ELSE is excited and passionate about when you can choose to follow a path that excites YOU, and that YOU are passionate about? If we follow a path made of other people’s opinions, the magnificent fullness of who you came here to BE cannot be realized, and you are cheating the world out of the unique perspective, the individual viewpoint that is YOU.
This is the definition of giving away your power.
This does not mean we can’t live a life that serves others, or in service to others – as long as we CHOOSE it for ourselves. If you are living a life of service because someone else wants you to, FUCK that!
And we don’t want to choose service to others ABOVE serving our own needs! You are not an afterthought! You are the central character in your own story.
I worry that others are judging me!
This thought is a mirror in two ways.
1- You judge yourself harshly, so you see them judging you. 2- You are judging them to be judgers in the process.
No one is ever judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. If they do, cut them out of your life, or minimize time spent with them, or set healthy boundaries by telling them to stop it.
The more you love yourself, the less harshly you criticize yourself, the easier it will be to see them as less critical, and less judgemental.
While you are not giving a fuck about what people think, I would also LOVE for you to not give a fuck what people do!
Other people are not the boss of you. You are also not the boss of them!
They get to choose what they think is right and best for them. When we try to choose for them, our energy becomes entangled.
Energy entanglements DRAIN us!
Think how much energy it takes to make decisions for yourself and run your own life. Do you REALLY have the energy to also do that for everyone you love, and strangers too?
If so, WHERE on earth did you find that rule book titled This is the ONE right way for everyone! by R.O. Gant?
HUGE energy drain, and…
This is the definition of taking away their power, and we drain our own power when we try.
Short of situations where someone is harming you or others, take a deep breath and let that shit go!
