It’s no wonder so many people fail to lose weight.
Losing Weight is NOT Possible.
Losing something requires inattentiveness to it. When we’re not paying attention to our food and movement we usually lose health, but we GAIN weight.
We can absolutely release excess weight if we wish to do so, but we’re not going to LOSE it! We will not suddenly wake up and be surprised the weight is missing. “Where did those extra pounds go?! They just vanished. I’ve lost them somewhere!”
While losing something requires inattention, releasing excess weight takes GREAT attention to detail! Releasing weight requires us to pay attention to the healthy goals we’ve set, and take deliberate actions that lead away from inattention.
Making sustainable life changes requires attention! We have to switch OFF the autopilot and guide the journey manually making one course correction at a time.
We begin to pay close attention to the voice in our head, and course correct every time it sounds harsh and critical. We notice the emotional vibrations happening in our body, and begin to understand how those emotions drive our actions. And we begin to cultivate emotions that drive actions that deliberately lead us to our goals for better health!
If you have been trying to lose weight for awhile, and you feel like your journey keeps looping back to the beginning, I invite you to STOP trying to lose weight.
Get curious about why the excess weight is here at this time. Begin making a plan to release any excess weight. Then pay attention to every detail of your plan until it leads you right where you wish to be.
Grow on!
Why do you want to release weight? How motivating is that reason for you? If excess weight is a message from the Universe, what is it saying? What do you need to let go of to reach your goal? What is one action can you take today that leads you in that direction?
I recently had a conversation with a client who was pondering the fact that death is the ultimate act of release. She wisely pointed out that some things are easier to release than others, and I am inspired by the way she is actively practicing letting go in different areas of life.
All humans have attachments. That’s completely normal. However the more attached we are, the more we fight to hold on to the thing we are attached to.
When we become truly attached to something, we will fight to keep it even when it damages our wellbeing. The thought of losing it creates distress and anxiety. For example, for the alcoholic, the thought of living without daily alcohol may cause panic, even if she is aware that the alcohol is damaging her health in many ways.
Some people remain in abusive relationships because they cannot imagine a life without the person who is abusing them. Some people choose to remain in extremely stressful jobs that cause health problems because they can’t imagine earning their big salary any other way. We can become attached to all kinds of beliefs that create fear and anxiety. (I’m not ‘whatever’ – smart, thin, rich, worthy, healthy, pretty, educated, experienced – enough.)
An infinite variety of manufactured foods deplete our energy and damage our health. These have been designed specifically to be addicting in order to drive up corporate profits. People often reach for these addictive foods to soothe themselves long after we realize the effect that food is having on our health. It’s hard to give up a food or an addiction that makes us feel better!
Habitual thoughts and behaviors can also limit our potential for optimum happiness and wellbeing. Judgement and self-criticism are two of the biggest limiting behaviors that humans develop by way of constant cultural conditioning.
Give it up!
I know it’s not easy to release something that is woven into the fabric of our lives! However, I invite you to begin playing with letting go of whatever it is that’s limiting you. If there is something you can’t imagine your life without, I encourage you to begin imagining your life without it.
Play with letting go of judgement and criticism and see how it feels. What happens to your energy? Your mood? Imagine doing the kind of job that leaves you happy and satisfied at the end of the day. What would that look like for you? I’m not asking you to figure out HOW to leave your crappy job and find a lucrative career you adore, I’m just inviting you to imagine that it is POSSIBLE.
Imagination is the first step of manifestation.
Practice letting go of anything that no longer serves you. If your food choices are not helping you manifest optimum health, practice letting go of some of those foods for awhile to see how you feel. You can always go back to those foods later if you want, but at least allow yourself to experience what it’s like to let them go for a few weeks. What’s the worst that could happen? You might feel better!
Do you HATE to work out, and prefer being sedentary? Imagine yourself deeply enjoying some FUN kind of movement that feels good to your body. I’m not asking you to go join a gym, I’m asking you to imagine yourself enjoying movement. I’m encouraging you to give up the idea that you hate moving your body. Play with some new ways to move that MIGHT feel good to you, and just IMAGINE doing them for awhile. Maybe you’ll get inspired to move. What’s the worst that could happen? You might really have fun!
When we play with letting go of anything that limits us, we can begin optimizing our health, wealth, and unlimited potential!
Grow on!
What’s holding you back? What habitual patterns would you love to release? What does it feel like when you imagine releasing them? What are you ready to release? What are you ready to IMAGINE yourself releasing? How will your life be different when you release that?
Need some help? If you want help releasing what’s holding you back, schedule a chat with me to see if coaching can help you move from where you are to where you’d LOVE to be!
Project your energy wherever you wish to be. It’s really easy.
Begin with a FAVORITE memory, one so good that’s it’s still ALIVE in your mind, like you are still in that moment when you think about it.
One I return to frequently is a particular lanai of a condo I once rented in Kona. I spent many magical hours watching the ocean roll in to the Kona Reef. I’m always up hours too early in Hawaii due to the time difference, so I would savor a cup of coffee on the lanai and watch morning break over the reef, letting the sound of the waves meditate me.
When I close my eyes, it takes almost no effort to call that feeling – that energy – of glorious perfection back to me, as if I were still there.
I milk it. I let it feed my soul. I plug into it deliberately to charge my spiritual batteries. In those moments, I AM in Kona looking out over the reef. I am present to the sight, sounds, taste, smell, and even the feel of the breeze and salt spray! It doesn’t matter if my body is in California, my essence – the energy of my True self – is fully experiencing being in Hawaii.
As many of you know, I also do this a LOT with Croatia.
I live in Croatia in my mind sometimes because it gives me GREAT joy to do so. I love to promote things that make me happy, so when more than one friend asked me recently to help them plan trips to Croatia, I may have gotten a little swept up in the idea!
It took about two days to put it together, but it was like being in Croatia for a weekend! I swear when I had to go somewhere on Sunday, I felt like I just returned from an amazing vacation!
But I digress. I was speaking of being in two places at once.
I invite you to practice putting your energy back into a very pleasant memory. When you feel your energy lift, you’re doing it right. Practice with happy memories until you get the hang of it.
Then start practicing putting your energy where you WANT it to be – wherever that is. Allow yourself to FEEL yourself in that next travel adventure. Feel yourself being happy, satisfied, and financially independent in your new career. Imagine yourself in the arms of your perfect partner, content, confident, and emotionally held.
Imagine BEING in that moment and let the joy you feel charge your batteries! Enjoying these moments causes the Universe to bring more things to us that FEEL like what we are enjoying.
Imagination is the first step in manifestation.
I once had a client tell me that she never dared think of herself in relationship with her perfect partner because it instantly made her sad that the relationship wasn’t real (yet). Her goal was to attract her soulmate, but she refused to imagine herself achieving that goal!
Anything we want is for no other reason than we think it will make us feel happy. Allowing our energy to feel that happiness NOW brings that happiness – that manifestation – to us more quickly, BECAUSE – say it with me…
I am planning my next trip to Croatia. I think about all the fun we have created there. I put myself on top of the Walls of Dubrovnik in the sunshine with a camera in my hand and a sea breeze in my face almost every day. It never fails to make me feel on top of the world.
Sharing that joy with you, and the world helps me manifest my next travel adventure, my next friendship, my next great joy. Creating those two pages was FUN. It put me right where I wanted to be, and it thrilled me to my toes. The day after I shared my creation, a friend in Croatia reached out to invite me to stay!
I am thinking about what I want. I am enjoying playing with the energy, and I attract the energy I want to experience.
I am THRILLED and excited to be here with you, and to also be there with you!
Happy bilocating!
Grow on!
Find a favorite memory and milk it for all it’s worth! Journal about it. Recall it as vividly as possible until your energy remembers fully the glorious feeling of being there!
Then practice casting yourself in the starring role of living your dream – whatever your dream is. How do you feel when you accomplish it? Safe? Happy? Fulfilled? Successful? Feel that energy vibrating within you, and practice it frequently to attract MORE to you that feels like that!
If you begin to focus on the lack of the arrival of your manifestation, that’s normal! Don’t be hard on yourself. Gently shift back into the memory of joy you have practiced, and just steep in that energy awhile before projecting forward again.
I needed to make a quick stop at a grocery store. I only needed five or six items, but one of them is consistently difficult to find, so I chose to drive out of my way to a higher-end grocery store where they usually carry it. I was thrilled to see they had it in stock, and picked three of them off the shelf.
One of the other items I needed was grapes. I found what I wanted in the produce department, but when I looked at the price tag I nearly fell on the floor. $3.88 a pound for grapes seemed excessive even for this place. However, just below the extortionist price they were advertising in large print, was much smaller print saying the same grapes were available for $1.77 a pound if you have the electronic coupon.
I hate electronic coupons.
But to save over $2 a pound, I was willing to put in a little effort. While standing in the produce aisle I dutifully downloaded the store’s app, and attempted to create an account. However as soon as I entered my email, it told me that my address already has an account and asked me to enter my password. I didn’t even remember installing the app before, and I certainly didn’t remember whatever password was created for me at that time.
The app prompted me to check my email to get a new password. Now I realize that most people these days who have smartphones have their email available 24/7.
I am not one of those people.
I do not have access to my email on my smartphone. I don’t usually put apps on my smartphone other than Google maps.
You know what I do with my smartphone? I make phone calls.
By this time I was frustrated, and when I realized how long I had been standing in the produce aisle I also became irritated. I decided to take my purchase to the checkout, plead ignorance, and throw myself on the mercy of the kind cashier to give me the sale price.
The cashier was overly cheerful, and said she would ring up my order and send me down to see Sally Sue in customer service. I said, “but will I get the sale price on the grapes?”
She said, “I’m not going to charge you. I’m just going to ring everything up and give you the receipt and send you down to see Sally Sue and she’ll take care of everything.”
I was truly exasperated that the cashier didn’t just have a QR she could scan and give me the correct price! I mean, in the old days if I had forgotten to clip a coupon from the paper and bring it with me, they would have a copy of the newspaper sitting by the register so they could scan the sale price. However in today’s world where electronic communications make our lives so much easier and faster, they do not seem to possess that technology!
By the time I got down to customer service to see Sally Sue, I was running 20 minutes late. I was frustrated, irritated, and getting annoyed. My normally cheerful demeanor was wearing whisper thin.
I explained to Sally Sue what I had explained to the cashier. “You can’t give the sale price to just some of the people. It’s UNFAIR. When you have an advertised price, it’s for everyone, not just those with superior tech skills. It’s ageist, and discriminatory!” I added
I was feeling disenfranchised and disregarded, and I could feel my face getting hot. I know my voice had gotten louder because Sally Sue said, “Lower your voice please ma’am, I’m standing right here.”
That did not have the effect Sally Sue wanted it to have.
“I am frustrated! I am irritated! And now I feel embarrassed because you think I’m too stupid to use your app, and you top it off by making me jump through all these hoops that other shoppers don’t have to jump through. My voice is NOT going to be lowered right now because I am upset by your unfair policy and I want to register a complaint!”
In my peripheral vision, I could see the people in the self checkout lanes stopping to watch. As my voice rose louder, the shoppers split into two camps, those who turned away quickly, and those who couldn’t stop watching my train wreck.
Sally Sue gave me the discount on the grapes without asking me to lower my voice again.
I stormed out of the store nearly in tears I was so pissed off, got home called the store’s 800 number and registered an official complaint with the customer service department.
As CERTAIN as I was standing in that store demanding what I KNEW was right, the self-doubt monster creeped in and drained my energy even more than the encounter at the grocery store had done.
Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at Sally Sue. Maybe I was “too much” again. I’ve often been told I can be too much.
I didn’t beat myself up over it, I just acknowledged that I had a very human moment. No harm no foul. I congratulated myself that I had somehow refrained from dropping any F-bombs, which if you know me at all, you realize was quite the fucking feat.
So, I didn’t beat me up over it, but I didn’t feel all that proud of me either. That is UNTIL I talked to my amazing coach, Jill Lebeau.
As it happened, I had a chat scheduled with my coach and mentor the day after I lost my shit in the grocery store. You know how she reframed it for me? Fucking perfectly.
“I don’t call that losing your shit my dear!” She said, “I call that stepping into your power. I call that speaking your mind. I call that being your authentic self and calling them on their bullshit policy. Wow! Look at you. I’m impressed. You’re amazing.”
She’s right of course. I didn’t do anything wrong, but something deep inside me wanted to cast myself as bad-guy or wrong-doer. Some long ago conditioning about how women are supposed to behave.
Well fuck that. Well behaved women, apparently do NOT get the sale price on grapes.
Overcoming life-long conditioning takes time and practice, and a little help. The more we unravel ourselves and our energy from that old conditioning, the more empowered we become! It’s one of the things I help my clients with on a regular basis, and it’s one of the reasons I have regularly scheduled appointments with my coach.
Sometimes it takes help to become aware of where we’re still hooked into those old beliefs that limit our lives.
You can ask anyone who knows me. MOST days I am a fucking ray of sunshine. And also, I will not hesitate to get stormed up and unleash my thunder when that is what’s required.
I have been feeling a little stressed lately. Thinking about family worries, financial setbacks, and fading friendships has left me feeling a bit depleted. Unexpected and unwelcome changes to holiday plans left me feeling picked on because my expectations weren’t met. Why is it always ME that has to compromise?
Honestly I was feeling disappointed, and slightly victimized.
My friend and mentor, encouraged me to think about how I want to FEEL on a daily basis throughout the holidays, and suggested I choose a word or phrase to use as a guiding light through the coming weeks.
Thinking about that, I decided that I want to feel my power. I want to feel the way I feel when I am connected to Source energy, and letting the Light of undiluted Love flow through me! And I want that for everyone else, too. I want to see pure positive energy – the Light of unconditional Love – spread like wildfire across the globe.
I am the Light.
THAT is how I wish to feel throughout the holidays and into the New Years, and decades ahead! I am the Light.
When I am the Light, I cannot feel disappointment or fear. I simply shine from within. I shine with infinite Source energy. I am not bound by limiting expectations, because all I expect is illumination – no matter my direction of travel.
Jesus talks about not putting one’s light under a bushel but making it visible for all to see. Christianity says Christ is the light in all beings. Science talks of photons or light waves being present in every atom in the universe. Buddhism says Buddha is always shining, always emitting light. Buddha said, “Be you lamps unto yourselves.” – Daily Meditations
I am the Light.
This is my mantra for the holiday season, and coming year.
I am the Light.
When I feel powerless, I choose to step into my power – the Truth of Who I am. I am Goddess, Source Energy, the energy that creates worlds, and I am neither powerless, nor victim. Not fucking EVER.
I am the Light.
I CHOOSE to be the Light. I choose to SHINE. I choose to love – unconditionally. I choose Faith. I choose to TRUST that the Universe has my back. I choose to BELIEVE that everything turns out for the highest good, even when my human mind cannot see HOW it is good. I choose to believe that I am worthy, and so is everyone else, even when I feel crappy. I choose to spend time in nature because it feeds my soul. I follow the Light within. I am the Light I see in reflected in my world. I am the Light, and I choose to fucking SHINE!
I am the Light.
Please remember that YOU, too, are the Light.
Winter Solstice is the darkest time of year. Let’s give ourselves, and each other the gift of being the Light. I wish you a new year full of health, abundance, opportunities, and blessings.
Being our authentic self is the most liberating thing we can do.
What does it MEAN to be authentic? It means to be the fabulous YOU that you came here to be. Each of us is a unique spark of the Universal Divine, a singular piece of the infinite puzzle. We deserve to say what’s true in our hearts. We deserve to be true to our own desires and beliefs, and live in whatever way makes us happy. We deserve to live our lives in whatever way we choose, no matter what the fuck other people expect of us, or what they think about our choices.
But it is normal to want to fit in, and to want to be liked by others, so many of us wear masks to hide our authentic self. This happens when we believe that we are not enough as we are, or when we have been told that we are too much in some way, or when it feels unsafe to speak our truth.
The masks we create become heavy when worn too long, and continuing to wear them takes a huge amount of energy. We grow weary of trying to be who this one wants us to be, doing what that one wants us to do. We can be exhausted trying to live a life defined by masks, instead of letting ourself be authentic.
If we attract a partner while wearing a mask, we may fear ever revealing our true self. If they love the masked version, how could they possibly love what truly lies beneath?
The other burden of wearing a mask to please others, is that we never really get the chance to explore our true nature. We get to a point where the mask is so heavy we MUST set it down, but then we might not have any idea of who we truly are and what makes us happy.
So I invite you to liberate yourself! If you are not usually the type to speak your mind, or ask for what you want out of life, I encourage you to start. Play with being authentic to explore how much more energy you have!
If you reveal your true self and someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours. The people who love you will be delighted for you to be YOU. Maybe it’s time to release people who want you to wear to please them.
You only get one wild and precious life. Spend it being the fabulous, unique YOU that you came here to be!
Grow on!
What masks do you wear regularly? Which ones are draining your energy? Which ones are you willing to let go? In what ways are you ready to express your authenticity? What makes you truly light up?
When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.
In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.
My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly.
He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me. I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.
After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.
Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?
The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.
I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.
I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.
That’s right. You heard me.
If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again!
So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release.
What can we do about this confusing challenge?
It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!
It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.
Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.
Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.
Somewhere to begin.
Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!
ABC Process
Awareness Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.
Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:
Breathe Take a nice deep grounding breath.
Choose Choose love. Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.
It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up.
When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!
Somewhere to practice.
Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing.
If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.
Grow on!
Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.
Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.
Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!
A shift in mindset can literally be the difference between experiencing a living hell, or living heaven on earth.
Mindset is EVERYTHING. Mindset is the vibrational set point of our thinking. It is the accumulation of established thoughts and beliefs we hold to be true.
Energy attracts like energy, so what we vibrate, we attract.
We can think of our vibrational set point (mindset) as our radio station. Our current mindset is the station to which we’re tuned. Therefore the ONLY thing we can currently experience is what’s being broadcast on our station. If we do not like our experience, we must change the station to get something different.
We cannot change the experience being broadcast. In order to experience a different broadcast, we must change our station, by changing how we perceive.
What we perceive is what we receive.
If we believe that we live in a godless universe, where others cannot be trusted, where we must do it all on our own, and struggle for what we have; we are having a very different experience broadcast to us than someone who believes that the Universe has her back, sends frequent angels to support her, and flows resources to her effortlessly.
Changing our radio station (mindset) allows us to attract something different than we have been experiencing. If we are not currently enjoying our experience, it is vital to shift our mindset. In order to shift our mindset to attract something different than we have been attracting, we must begin to shift the thoughts we are thinking, and be willing to let go of beliefs that do not serve us.
The question then is, how do we change what we believe?
Awareness is always the first step! We can only change something if we are AWARE that we want to change it. Once we have recognized that something we think or believe no longer serves us, we need a process to help us overwrite those beliefs with new ones that support and inspire us!
We need a process because if we truly believe something, we cannot simply stop believing that, and start believing something contrary. The human brain won’t leap like that.
For example, we cannot go from thinking, “I hate my body because it’s fat,” to thinking, “I love my body unconditionally,” in the same breath. Our vibration will physically reject the opposing thought because it does not resonate with our current mindset/vibration.
Wheels & Ladders
Here are four processes wonderful for shifting mindset, or point of attraction.
Focus Wheel Process
Esther Hicks and Abraham offered us the Focus Wheel Process in the book Ask and it is Given.
We place the thought we wish to believe in the center, then write thoughts around the outside which we already believe, thoughts that resonate with our current mindset, meaning – we already believe them. Practicing these believable thoughts moves us closer to the center thought we wish to believe.
Esther says to use the focus wheel process:
When you realize that your current Vibrational Point of Attraction is not where you want it to be.
When you are aware that you are feeling negative emotion about something that is important, and you want to find a way of feeling positive emotion instead.
When something has just happened that is not to your liking, and you want to think about it while it is on your mind and change your point of attraction so that it does not happen again.
When you are reaching for a feeling of relief.
For me, the key bit here is reaching for a feeling of relief. When we are thinking thoughts that make us feel icky, anxious, or worried, finding thoughts that RELIEVE the anxiety, worry, and shame is solid GOLD.
Abraham’s Focus Wheel Process is highly effective for many people.
Training Wheels
Another process we can use to shift our thoughts, our mindset, our vibrational point of attraction is Training Wheels. Training wheels help us soften the thought we desire to believe, and bring it closer to our current vibrational range. Training wheels are sentence fragments tacked onto the thought we wish to believe.
Examples of Training Wheels: Why is it so easy to… I am learning to… I am ready to… I feel empowered when… Today I begin to… I choose to…
Training wheels on our example: I love my body unconditionally. Why is it so easy to love my body unconditionally? I am learning to love my body unconditionally. I am ready to love my body unconditionally. I feel empowered when I love my body unconditionally. Today I begin to love my body unconditionally. I choose to love my body unconditionally.
If the training wheel thought is one we BELIEVE, we are on our way! Shifting from a limiting belief to an inspiring belief takes PRACTICE, so we want to practice the training wheel thought frequently until we feel ready to take the training wheels off.
Training Wheels Process is a super effective way to begin shifting our beliefs!
Laddering Thoughts
I love Laddering Thoughts Process! Imagine the limiting belief on the bottom rung of the ladder. Now place the thought we WANT to think at the top of the ladder.
Now we climb the ladder one better-feeling thought at a time! Each thought is a rung on the ladder taking us closer to the empowering thought at the top. You can absolutely use Training Wheels to help you up the ladder if you find some that raise your vibration.
You can also use neutral thoughts since neutral is always a higher vibe than negative. For example, instead of the negatively charged, “I hate my body” we can use the neutral statement, “I have a body” to climb one rung up on the ladder. That’s a true statement, so it can resonate with anyone. “My body has physically supported me since birth,” is also true. If it resonates, we can use it to climb one rung closer to the higher vibration we desire!
Try these thoughts, and if they resonate, we can climb the next rung:
Some people love their bodies unconditionally. I would like to love my body unconditionally. The more I love my body, the more it loves me back. Occasionally, I love my body unconditionally. It is possible to love my body unconditionally.
Remember: you need to practice the Laddering Thoughts that resonate for you every day, throughout the day. Once a thought feels more believable, move up the ladder!
Stairway to Heaven
I adore the Laddering Thoughts Process, and I love to shift thoughts from bad feeling to good feeling, and from good feeling to better feeling.
So I shifted the idea of the thought ladder into the image of a fully supported staircase with double handrails. Now instead of my steps being shaky, or unstable, I feel steady and supported as I climb my Thought Stairway!
The handrail I offer is a choice of uplifting thoughts galore. Many years ago I began creating positive affirmation cards (daily mantra or empowerment cards) for a friend who was going through challenging times.
I take positive statements that feel good when I say them, and print them on my inspiring landscape photography. Currently I have created more than 500, and I invite you to freely download any that resonate for you, and use them to support you on your Stairway to Heaven on Earth!
My fabulous fucking Toy Box contains a treasure trove of guiding support from many wise hearts who are consistently lighting the way toward Heaven on Earth. I invite you to explore and play with these amazing resources, and incorporate whatever resonates for you. This is how we feel supported and guided as we shift our thoughts up the stairs.
We can use our Thought Stairway to climb from wherever we are on the vibrational scale to wherever we wish to be on the vibrational scale. Thought Stairway can lift us from the deepest depths of despair, unworthiness, and shame, right up to heaven on earth!
With PRACTICE.
These wonderful processes help us retrain our neural pathways, and that takes time and practice.
I encourage you not to give up! We reach a tipping point when we finally feel closer to the top of the staircase than the bottom, and that is when we keep practicing!
We play with shifting our thoughts upward. We keep joyfully rising toward that higher vibration, toward renewed mindset, and fresh perspectives.
This is our spiritual practice, to move ourselves closer and closer to the perspective/vibration of that which we call God, Source Energy, Infinite Wisdom. Because living fully in that energy here and now is what it means to live in Heaven on Earth.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you thinking that are limiting your growth? How does that thought feel when you think it? What emotion would you rather feel? What thought can you think that creates that desired emotion within you? Play with the above processes to climb from the limiting thought to the freeing one!
Millions of thoughts pop into our heads every day. Some of them are constructive, and some, not so much. Some of them feel wonderful, and some create fear. Some inspire confidence, others manifest self-doubt.
The trick is to remember that if they pop in uninvited, you only need to entertain the ones you enjoy!
I talk to my clients all the time about “milking the moment” when they have a thought that feels wonderful. We want to hang onto those as long as we can, and really milk them for every drop of pleasure that we can get.
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what we enjoy, the more the Universe brings us to enjoy!
So what about those thoughts that pop in unannounced that are destructive, fear filled, and confidence crushing? My advice is to get rid of them the instant we become aware of them.
It’s perfectly understandable, when experiencing a financial or medical uncertainty, that scary thoughts and worst case scenarios might pop into out head. But these thoughts are here without invitation, so we don’t throw them a big party and invite them to stay!
As soon as I notice that my mind has wandered into a scary neighborhood, I quickly repeat “nope, nope, nope!” It’s like a little energy canceling mantra I use to retrieve my energy from unwanted territory. The quicker I can catch myself, and redirect with “nope, nope, nope” the better!
Why? Because energy attracts like energy.
The more we focus on what is unwanted, the more the Universe brings us what is unwanted!
Of course we occasionally must focus on something we’d rather not, like preparing our taxes. But I’m talking about creating stories in our head of unreal events that may never happen. It’s a HUGE, and completely unnecessary, waste of our energy. The faster we vacate that territory, the calmer, happier, and more energized we will feel!
Nope, nope, nope!
Then we can intentionally shift attention onto something we DO want to attract. We can entertain best case scenarios and visualize those. Or if the energy is currently too charged around that topic, shift subjects entirely and focus on something that is sure to lift your energy and inspire you. Your grandkids, your pet, crafts or hobbies, podcasts meant to inspire. Whatever it is for you.
After the nope, nope, nope disrupts the negative energy, focus on anything that allows you to feel uplifted, happy, empowered, or inspired.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you currently entertaining that could use a good “Nope, nope, nope!”?
Create a list of as many people, places, and practices you can think of that never fail to comfort you, or make you feel amazing.
For an incomplete list of resources that inspire the crap outta me & my clients so we can energize our lives & thrive, check out my fabulous fucking toy box at THIS LINK!
What are triggers? Triggers are a golden fucking opportunities to expand our awareness, and grow through challenge. Triggers are gifts from the Universe, pointing to that which needs our attention.
Triggers are personal to each of us, and they generally piss us off, or generate some other strong, emotional response. They’re the things that get under our skin, which DEMAND a reaction from us. Often we can’t NOT react. And frequently, looking back, we wish we had acted in some other way instead of the way we reacted.
Generally triggers are accompanied by a feeling of stress. Whether we react, or hold back the reaction we feel, stress or anxiety are activated inside us. Sometimes we also beat ourselves up for having reacted. (Why did I let them get to me? I should be past this by now! What’s wrong with me? Or similar thoughts.) This can add shame to the toxic mixture of emotions already triggered within us, and increases our perceived stress.
Humans get triggered by all sorts of things. Think repeated behaviors that annoy, like a partner dropping dirty clothes on the floor, leaving dishes in the sink, or not calling when they will be late. These behaviors don’t trigger me – and maybe not you either – but they are triggers for many people. Triggers come in all shapes and sizes. Coworkers, children, politicians, parents, or pets can all trigger us for different reasons.
Recently I was speaking with a client who has two new kittens that she adores. They are young, and energetic, and often misbehave and steal small, important objects and hide them out of reach. As we were talking, a new game popped into my head.
What if every time the misbehaved kittens trigger frustration, we create an opportunity for self-love instead?
Misbehaved Kittens Russian Roulette of Self-Care
I suggested she make a list of everything she considers self-care, write each item on a slip of paper, and place the slips of paper into a hat, a fishbowl, or a fancy box. Then every time the kittens misbehave, she reaches into the fishbowl and pulls out a self-care prize, instead of shooting herself in the foot with stress, reactivity, blame, and shame.
She loved the idea, and so do I! I encourage everyone to play.
The game allows us to be triggered into self care, and replace stress-building reactions with desirable actions that reduce stress and build healthy habits! Of course you don’t need misbehaved kittens to play. You could play Annoying Coworker Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or Inattentive Spouse Russian Roulette of Self-Care, or my current personal favorite, Puppy Poops on the Carpet Russian Roulette of Self-Care.
So how do you define self-care?
Anything qualifies that makes YOU feel cared for, held, and supported. The header contains lots of great possibilities for self-care, and below is a short list. I encourage you to personalize your list to include your favorites, and only use those that truly resonate for you. Some women love to get pedicures and look forward to them as a pampering treatment. Others find them tedious, and don’t enjoy having their feet touched. There is no right or wrong. It’s about whatever makes you feel calm, relaxed, cared for, and loved.
Self-Care possibilities:
Make a gratitude list. Dance for 5 to 10 minutes. Schedule a massage. Journal. Get a mani-pedi. Journal while you get a mani-pedi. Fix a cup of your favorite tea. Take a nap. Sing your favorite song, and really belt it out. Do some mirror work. Take 10 slow deep breaths. Take a 10 minute yoga break. Sit in the jacuzzi. Take a walk. Spend time in the sun. Write yourself a love note. Go to bed early. Call an uplifting friend. Look at beautiful photos of nature. Create art.
Grow on!
Make your own list of self-care. Write each item on a slip of paper. Place them in a container that pleases you. Now when you feel triggered, you can choose to react by reaching for self-care.
