I Lost My Shit at the Grocery Store

I needed to make a quick stop at a grocery store. I only needed five or six items, but one of them is consistently difficult to find, so I chose to drive out of my way to a higher-end grocery store where they usually carry it. I was thrilled to see they had it in stock, and picked three of them off the shelf.

One of the other items I needed was grapes.  I found what I wanted in the produce department, but when I looked at the price tag I nearly fell on the floor. $3.88 a pound for grapes seemed excessive even for this place. However, just below the extortionist price they were advertising in large print, was much smaller print saying the same grapes were available for $1.77 a pound if you have the electronic coupon. 

I hate electronic coupons. 

But to save over $2 a pound, I was willing to put in a little effort. While standing in the produce aisle I dutifully downloaded the store’s app, and attempted to create an account. However as soon as I entered my email, it told me that my address already has an account and asked me to enter my password. I didn’t even remember installing the app before, and I certainly didn’t remember whatever password was created for me at that time.

The app prompted me to check my email to get a new password. Now I realize that most people these days who have smartphones have their email available 24/7.

I am not one of those people.

I do not have access to my email on my smartphone. I don’t usually put apps on my smartphone other than Google maps. 

You know what I do with my smartphone? I make phone calls. 

By this time I was frustrated, and when I realized how long I had been standing in the produce aisle I also became irritated. I decided to take my purchase to the checkout, plead ignorance, and throw myself on the mercy of the kind cashier to give me the sale price.

The cashier was overly cheerful, and said she would ring up my order and send me down to see Sally Sue in customer service. I said, “but will I get the sale price on the grapes?” 

She said, “I’m not going to charge you. I’m just going to ring everything up and give you the receipt and send you down to see Sally Sue and she’ll take care of everything.”

I was truly exasperated that the cashier didn’t just have a QR she could scan and give me the correct price! I mean, in the old days if I had forgotten to clip a coupon from the paper and bring it with me, they would have a copy of the newspaper sitting by the register so they could scan the sale price. However in today’s world where electronic communications make our lives so much easier and faster, they do not seem to possess that technology!

By the time I got down to customer service to see Sally Sue, I was running 20 minutes late. I was frustrated,  irritated, and getting annoyed. My normally cheerful demeanor was wearing whisper thin.

I explained to Sally Sue what I had explained to the cashier. “You can’t give the sale price to just some of the people. It’s UNFAIR.  When you have an advertised price, it’s for everyone, not just those with superior tech skills. It’s ageist, and discriminatory!” I added

I was feeling disenfranchised and disregarded, and I could feel my face getting hot. I know my voice had gotten louder because Sally Sue said, “Lower your voice please ma’am, I’m standing right here.”

That did not have the effect Sally Sue wanted it to have.

“I am frustrated! I am irritated! And now I feel embarrassed because you think I’m too stupid to use your app, and you top it off by making me jump through all these hoops that other shoppers don’t have to jump through. My voice is NOT going to be lowered right now because I am upset by your unfair policy and I want to register a complaint!”

In my peripheral vision, I could see the people in the self checkout lanes stopping to watch. As my voice rose louder, the shoppers split into two camps, those who turned away quickly, and those who couldn’t stop watching my train wreck. 

Sally Sue gave me the discount on the grapes without asking me to lower my voice again.

I stormed out of the store nearly in tears I was so pissed off, got home called the store’s 800 number and registered an official complaint with the customer service department.

As CERTAIN as I was standing in that store demanding what I KNEW was right, the self-doubt monster creeped in and drained my energy even more than the encounter at the grocery store had done. 

Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at Sally Sue. Maybe I was “too much” again. I’ve often been told I can be too much.

I didn’t beat myself up over it, I just acknowledged that I had a very human moment. No harm no foul. I congratulated myself that I had somehow refrained from dropping any F-bombs, which if you know me at all, you realize was quite the fucking feat.

So, I didn’t beat me up over it, but I didn’t feel all that proud of me either. That is UNTIL I talked to my amazing coach, Jill Lebeau.

As it happened, I had a chat scheduled with my coach and mentor the day after I lost my shit in the grocery store. You know how she reframed it for me? Fucking perfectly.

“I don’t call that losing your shit my dear!” She said, “I call that stepping into your power. I call that speaking your mind. I call that being your authentic self and calling them on their bullshit policy. Wow! Look at you. I’m impressed. You’re amazing.”

She’s right of course. I didn’t do anything wrong, but something deep inside me wanted to cast myself as bad-guy or wrong-doer. Some long ago conditioning about how women are supposed to behave.

Well fuck that. Well behaved women, apparently do NOT get the sale price on grapes. 

Overcoming life-long conditioning takes time and practice, and a little help. The more we unravel ourselves and our energy from that old conditioning, the more empowered we become! It’s one of the things I help my clients with on a regular basis, and it’s one of the reasons I have regularly scheduled appointments with my coach.

Sometimes it takes help to become aware of where we’re still hooked into those old beliefs that limit our lives.

You can ask anyone who knows me. MOST days I am a fucking ray of sunshine.  And also, I will not hesitate to get stormed up and unleash my thunder when that is what’s required.