I don’t feel like writing a fucking blog post today. I don’t see any sunny side at the moment. I am not inspired, nor do I feel inspiring. My dog had surgery yesterday and kept me awake all night trying to get the cone off his head. I have a tension headache the size of Montana. My spine is out of alignment causing me to be off work, so my finances feel out of alignment. My perspective is out of alignment with my higher self, and my human is screaming WTF?!
I don’t even want to listen to my favorite podcast to try and lift my vibe! What’s wrong with me?! WHY is everything going wrong? What did I DO to deserve this mess!?
Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckitall!
I rest my head in my hands, rub my temples and take a deep breath. When I find I haven’t the energy to scream, I exhale with force through gritted teeth.
In that small, quiet space following my exhale, I can hear my higher being for just a moment, just long enough to whisper my new mantra to me.
Nothing has gone wrong.
Everything is perfect.
All is well.
“Well it sure doesn’t FEEL as if all is fucking well,” I retort with just as much snark as I can muster. But I have softened. Just a bit, but enough.
I know enough to know that even if I can’t see the gift (the lesson my soul is hungry to learn) in the moment, my new mantra is right. Nothing ever goes wrong. All goes according to Divine plan. I trust the Universe to have my back, which means I can relax, and right now relaxation is exactly what I need.
Nothing has gone wrong.
I am simply having a human experience – not good nor bad – just human. Sometimes we get out of alignment with our highest self, and that’s ok! That’s part of the plan, to get out of alignment and find our way back. And it’s fine if I don’t want to find my way back right this minute! We can always learn something from spending time in misalignment. Sometimes we learn it in the moment, and sometimes we learn in hindsight, but simply remembering that nothing has gone wrong, allows us to relax a bit, allows the resistance to soften.
I’m still exhausted from not sleeping, but I am no longer shoulding on myself. I don’t beat myself up for being out of alignment. I accept it as part of being human, part of my experience, and give myself a fucking break!
In fact, I do deserve a break. I think I’ll schedule a massage, and if any voices in my head try to tell me I don’t deserve it, they can fuck right the hell off.
Yeah. I’m feeling better!
Practice my new mantra for awhile if it feels good to you.
Or find a mantra that reminds you of your power and practice that.
I find that it really helps. Especially on the shitty days.