Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective?
Honestly? Most people find that feeling we “should” do something drains our energy, so it’s demotivating rather than motivating.
Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind.
Should is “could” with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration. No wonder “should” is so heavy!
Could means we are at choice. We could do something if we chose to do it. It’s a choice, an option, completely voluntary. Should suggests that we are somehow less-than if we choose not to do whatever we are shoulding ourselves to do.
When we have choices, we feel more empowered!
Should means we don’t have a choice, and nothing makes us feel more powerless. Simply shifting our thought from, “I should wash the dishes,” to “I want to wash the dishes so the kitchen will be tidy,” can be immensely energizing.
I’m not talking rainbows and lollypops. I’m talking about creating new thought pathways that cause less stress in our lives. Less stress means less cortisol and less disease, so it’s worth the effort! And finding ways to reframe your thoughts can be fun, and creative.
Catching your ‘shoulds’ is the first step.
Listen for them when you speak and think.
When you catch yourself, stop and ask:
Why do I believe I should?
What is the worst that will happen if I don’t? Can I live with that?
How can I reframe it so that I am choosing to do this?
What’s the most positive aspect about choosing to do this?
How can I make this fun?