One Day I Just Got Off the Fucking Couch

What is it that motivates us?

As often as not it’s being so tired or bored with what we have been doing that desire for something new simply lifts us and moves us in a new direction.

Human beings get stuck in ruts.  We appreciate the familiar.  Sometimes it’s far more comfortable to just stay put than to find a new path.  Until we simply cannot stay put.

Recently I was speaking to some clients about their new health improvements.  

One client had waited a very long time to focus on her health, putting it off until her child went to college.  During our sessions she reported feeling bored and lonely.  She said she wanted to start getting fit, but didn’t want to go to a gym, because she was afraid others might judge her for the way she currently looked. 

I asked if she was a more critical judge of herself – or of others. She admitted that she judges herself more harshly than she does other people.  I simply pointed out that the same is true for most of us and that everyone at the gym is probably too busy judging themselves to have time to judge her.  I added that everyone at the gym would be focused on self-improvement and could judge her favorably for pursuing similar goals.  She quickly discovered that the feelings of loneliness and boredom decreased at the gym and can’t BELIEVE she waited so long to feel this powerful in her own skin again!

Another of my clients has begun walking 3 to 4 miles several times a week, and is changing some of her food choices.  I asked her what had finally motivated these changes for her and I LOVE her reply:

“One day I just got off the fucking couch and started walking.”

After I stopped laughing she told me it wasn’t much that first day.  “I only walked three or four blocks, but it felt GOOD to be outside instead of playing a video game, so I decided to take a walk again the next day.”

So whether it’s because you are wanting something new in your life, or you’re just tired of “what is” you CAN make changes!  We have to start somewhere.  Maybe all we need to do is get off the fucking couch!

Try it, and see where your feet lead you!


Staying Motivated to Reach Our Goals

How do we stay motivated to reach our goals?

I hear a chorus of you singing, “We don’t!”

That’s one of the things people frequently hire a coach for: support in staying motivated.

If you are wanting to energize your life, you also have some changes in mind you are wanting to make to that end.  Maybe you want to get more active, maybe you want to enrich your menus with more veggies, or by reducing fats.

Whatever your particular goal is, the biggest key I can share with you is to shift your mindset so that you are focused on the outcome you desire!

Now, maybe you’re thinking, “I have been focused on losing 50 pounds for the last ten years, and it hasn’t happened yet!”

This is the ideal time to point out that every subject is really two subjects: the subject itself (the object you desire), and the absence of it.  Often times we think we are focused on what we want, when we are actually focussing on the fact that we do not yet have it.  Focussing on NOT having what we want slows motivation, so that what we desire is slow to arrive, or we block it completely and it never arrives.

Let’s use the example above.  If someone says they have been focussed on “losing weight,” chances are what they are really focussed on is the fact that they are “not losing weight” or how “hard it is to lose weight” or maybe, “I’ll NEVER lose all this weight!”

The first thing I would say to a client in this situation is that trying to “lose weight” is an uphill battle that few of us actually win.  Why? Because we resist “losing” anything!  We want to be winners and we don’t like it when we lose games, keys, or our minds.  If we do lose something the first thing we do is try to get it back.  That’s not helpful if the real goal is to reach a healthy weight we can maintain.  Your goal could be weight reduction, or body composition improvement, or as one of my delightful clients reframed it; to reveal your sexy inner beast!

All of those goals sound more desirable than “losing” anything, don’t they? So step one would be to reframe the goal in a way that motivates you.

Visualize your desire as a fully formed outcome.

What does your authentic body look like?  More importantly, how does it feel?  Sit with that feeling of loving the skin you’re in!  Let it soak in and inspire the cells of your body to give you what you truly desire!  Nothing has ever manifested that was not “thought” first.  Let your mind spend time on what your ideal body feels like, looks like, performs like.  Submerse the cells of your body in the vibration of what you want them to become.  They will respond by matching that vibration!

Usually we get distracted with “what is.”  We know what we want insomuch as it’s NOT what we currently have.  We want something ‘better,’ or healthier, or smaller or bigger, but we spend very little time defining what we actually WANT because we get caught up on looking at the “what we currently have” part. 

We’ve developed patterns of eating meant to soothe emotions more than to fill nutritional needs.  We’ve given up being active for the sake of getting the to-do lists accomplished.  And we look at our current state of “not being where I want to be” and can’t figure out how it’s possible to get from where we are to where we want to be.  Many lose faith that it’s even possible.

Don’t think about HOW you get there from here, just visualize BEING there already, and more importantly, how it FEELS to be standing there in your full power.  Engage all five senses to help make your vision REAL in your mind.

Be open to the possibility that it COULD happen for you. Even if you can’t see how that miracle arrives, leave the door open for it.  Don’t shut it out by deciding it is NOT possible, or will not come to you, or that you’re not worthy.

If you’re not willing to spend time just thinking about what you want, what are the chances you’ll actually take action to make it happen?

One of the best ways to stay motivated is to keep looking at what you want without trying to figure out how you get it.  That way you’re excited by feeling it in your vibration, without splitting your energy with thoughts like, “I want it but, I don’t know how to get it.”  Your energy is all moving toward what you DO want if that’s where you focus the energy.  “I know what I want,” is how you reframe that one.

See your ideal outcome fully formed in your mind and add the mantra, “I know what I want.”  

When something or someone introduces a question like “HOW do you plan get there from here?” You can answer, “By staying focussed on what I want, and not limiting the Universe by telling it HOW to deliver what I want.”

You’ve GOT this! I know you have what it takes to create the life you want.

Hydrate for Transformation

I begin today’s post with a quote from page 43 of You Are a Badass Every Day, by Jen Sincero:

“Considering the fact that the majority of your body is made up of water; and considering the fact that the better care you take of your body, the more energy you have; and considering the fact that it takes a whole lot of energy to transform your life, drinking a buttload of water seems like a pretty reasonable request to me.”  

Considering the fact that my mission is to empower people to become energized to transform their lives, and considering the fact that hydration is such a crucial factor, I would be remiss not to mention this essential element in my empowerment blog.

Why is hydration so important?

Approximately sixty percent of the adult human body is made of water.  According to the USGS, the percentage climbs to 75 to 85% for our brain, heart, and lungs.  

Our bodies require a steady supply of water to help:

  • aid digestion
  • keep membranes moist
  • cell reproduction (growth & healing)
  • remove toxins
  • maintain joint mobility
  • shock absorption 
  • produce hormones
  • communications between brain and body
  • regulate body temperature
  • deliver oxygen to our organs

And as if that weren’t enough, it’s also the magic ingredient in body transformation!

Magic weight loss elixir!

If you’re one of the millions of people on the planet trying to improve your body composition, water is the magic elixir for weight loss.  Its magic power lies not just in helping you feel full – which it does, especially if you are wisely getting lots of water in the food you eat by way of fruits and veggies – but because proper hydration helps your body convert food into energy in the most optimal way.  Dehydration actually causes cravings for calorie-dense foods.  (Staying hydrated = fewer cravings!)

Foods that help hydrate include cucumbers, apples, melons, leafy greens, celery, radishes.  More info at this link. Try adding lemon juice or melons to your water for increased hydration. More info at this link.

Proper hydration is a vital piece of self care.

How much water to hydrate life transformation?

The National Academies of Sciences, Engineering, and Medicine determined that an adequate daily fluid intake is:

  • About 15.5 cups (124 oz) of fluids for men
  • About 11.5 cups (92 oz) of fluids a day for women

For more about factors that influence hydration needs, click this link.

This having been said, you and your naturopath, or medical doctor, may decide you need more or less than this amount.  Listen to your body!  That’s the practice at the root of adequate hydration.  When I was healing from the intestinal symptoms caused by eating foods I was allergic to, my naturopath had me drinking 120 ounces a day.  I had to pay attention to how much I drank through the day, but in terms of health improvements, it doesn’t get much easier than increasing water intake!

I have this sticker on my water bottle that I carried across Europe for three weeks reminding me of the importance of hydration.
Hydrate or Die.

Hydration is extremely important and often overlooked.  If you are on the path of transforming your life, then drinking a buttload of water seems like a very reasonable request indeed.

Plus, its an EASY step in the right direction!

Engage Your Body!

Today I want to talk about the miracle of movement!  

Back when I was exhausted all the time, I found a million excuses to sit around.  Engrossing myself in a project in my computer was always a great one.  As an entrepreneur, I have a thousand things that need my attention from a seated position: bookkeeping, scheduling, advertising, newsletters. It goes on and on.

Now I realize that if I want to feel energized, I gotta get up and move!  I’m no Olympic athlete, and I am not training for a marathon. I just understand now that movement is KEY.

Movement helps:
  • flow chi
  • increase metabolism
  • boost happy-making chemicals in the brain
  • clear mental cobwebs
  • decrease stress 
  • promote digestion
  • improve sleep quality

For optimal health, doctors generally recommend 30 minutes of exercise 5 days a week.  But for many, this can feel daunting, and trying to jump into a 5 day routine from zero days is never wise.

Start somewhere, start small. 

Build from there at your own pace.   It is better to move 5-10 minutes a day than to sit around waiting for the motivation to do 30 minutes all at once.  It’s even helpful to spend time thinking about being active!  If you can’t get up and move, or can’t motivate yourself to do so right now, visualize yourself being active and vibrant and moving your body!  Our mind is a powerful tool.  Using it to conjure images of ourselves involved in vibrant activities can build energy too!  To see what I mean, envision yourself at the very top of a roller coaster.  You feel yourself crest the hill, the momentum shifts, and suddenly you are plunging down the other side at breakneck speed.  You can physically feel that pull on your energy, right?

The same thing happens when you imagine yourself running, dancing, swimming, climbing, whatever physical activity appeals to your soul.  Picture yourself there, immersed in it, thriving at it.  The energy inside will rise.  Use that energy to motivate yourself into some action.  You can imagine yourself flying like a bird if that appeals to you, and use that rise in energy to walk to the end of the block and back!  Use the mind to create the energy that motivates the body up and into motion!  

Stop using the mind to trap the body into inertia!

You know all those self-defeating little thoughts that come up like, ‘I don’t want to work out,’ or ‘I don’t enjoy it,’or ‘I don’t have the energy’?  Well those thoughts deplete the energy right OUT of a body, and simply shifting them can give you the energy and motivation you need to get going!

‘I don’t want to work out,’ can become ‘I want to move my body
for 5-10 minutes because I deserve to energize myself!’  or ‘I want the energy boost that comes with moving my body!’ or even, ‘I want an energized life!’

Use ANY words that resonate for you.

‘I don’t have the energy,’ can become ‘To create energy, I simply move my body!’ or ‘My workout leaves me energized!’ or even ‘Movement connects me to Source energy and POWERS me up!’

‘I just don’t enjoy it’ can become, ‘I enjoy the way my body feels after I move it,’ or ‘I enjoy the powerful feeling of aligning with my own healthy intentions,’ or even, ‘I enjoy vibrant health and stay active to achieve that goal!’

Choose the thought that feels better when you think it, because the better you feel, the more energy you have!

When I did a nine-day cleanse designed to detox the liver, I was very low energy on a few days. The thing that made me feel better and more energized each time, was a nice easy walk around my block. When I felt like I just wanted to sit and do nothing because I was so tired, I got up and went for a walk and felt better!

Deeply Centered

Wear your cloak of invincibility.

It is my mission to uplift the vibration of this planet each day I am here! This seven minute recording is my gift to you! It’s a great way to center yourself before beginning anything. What does it mean to center yourself? I like to think of it as gathering my energy around me like a cloak of invincibility.

If you feel anxious, nervous, or anything other than supremely confident, take seven minutes to restore your breathing, raise your vibration, and pull on your cloak of invincibility. I use this exercise first thing every morning, before each session with a new client, and with clients to begin a session any time they arrive feeling frazzled or unfocused. Listen to it here whenever you like.

Breathe deeply at whatever pace is comfortable for you.

Subscribe to my blog and I will send you the download link for this powerful tool so you can use it wherever you are!


Carpe Diem!

That is my advice to everyone!  Get out there and seize the day!  Seize your life!  Make the most of every single minute.

My life is crazy hectic right now and I am LOVING every minute of it!

Besides running my full-time massage practice for the 12th year and building my photography business, I am attending iPEC to become a certified life coach and transitioning into an additional career over 50 years old.  I have weekly webinars, coaching assignments, reading assignments, journaling assignments, assignments from my coaches and elective assignments.  I have all the moving parts of building a business from the ground up, like creating the website, the logo, the marketing, and a blog.  I won’t bore you with ALL the details, but suffice to say that 7 days a week I have been keeping at it pretty steady.  Last Wednesday I had 3 massage clients and 3 coaching clients.  I went to work at 8:30am and finished my last coaching call that night at 8pm.

I am not complaining, I am THRIVING!  I am passionate about learning and practicing coaching.  It’s practically like a drug to me, I am just dying to do it again.  And again.

So it’s really easy to let my entire life be absorbed by it.  Jeremy and I even canceled a date day 2 weeks ago because I had something that HAD to get finished! (It was terribly important, though I can’t seem to recall now what it was!). But as fulfilling as all this is for me, the “must-dos” are still edging out the “want-tos” and that’s never healthy.  Occasionally we must come up for air!

Thursday/Friday are my days off and I almost always have those days scheduled as carefully as a work day to get the most done in the most efficient way.  Last Thursday was to be spring cleaning and homework.  I have a list of assignments that can keep me busy till May if I apply myself often enough, and I really like the energy of a sparkling CLEAN home on the first day of spring, scheduled to arrive Wednesday of next week.

But instead of housework and homework on Thursday, my daughter and I seized the sunshine and headed to the beach for a very short respite from the responsibilities in our lives.  She protested when I suggested it, saying she needed to be at work by 3pm.  

I recalled days from her childhood when I would drop her and her brother at school, pick up a friend, head to Bodega Bay, spend a couple hours and be home in time to get them from school.  “I’ll have you back by 2,” I promised.  She was all in.

It was GLORIOUS!  It was only supposed to be 55˚ but it must have been closer to 65˚.  The sun shone bright and the wind stood down.  We stripped to swim suits and were giddy enough on long-absent sunshine, that we actually forded Salmon Creek before we had a chance to realize what a misguided and dangerous idea that was.  We crossed back right away and it didn’t get up over our waists, but truly – our day was Goddess-blessed with safety as well as sunshine and sparkling waves.

It’s a 90 minute drive from Vallejo to Salmon Creek Beach.  We enjoyed a healthy lunch overlooking the ocean.  We hiked in the sand.  We collected shells for my altar.  We stretched out on the sand and let the vitamin D soak into our skin.  I’m sure we mooned more than one passing car as we struggled out of creek-soaked clothes to put on something dry.  We relaxed and absorbed all of that glorious, crashing, thrashing, battery-charging energy!

We had two spontaneous, magnificent hours of complete freedom.

Then we drove 90 minutes home listening to music and singing.  I cannot think of anything that could have lifted me more!

Seize the day!  Do something unexpected.  Grab the chance to have fun with a friend, even if just an hour or two.

Your soul lives for these moments.  These are the moments that nourish you and feed you the strength to get through the next twelve hour day.

If you don’t seize the opportunities to create joy along the way, what on earth are we doing here?!

Enjoy your life every chance you get. Carpe diem!  

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