Hiring a coach can cost hundreds of dollars per session, and thousands for several months of sessions. Spending money to improve ourselves can feel tricky for many of us, and may even feel as though we need to justify the expense.
If you are considering hiring a coach to help change eating habits that you’ve been trying to change for awhile, it’s completely rational to question whether or not coaching will be worth your investment. We all want to get our money’s worth, and if we invest months of our time, we’d like a return on that investment as well!
It makes total sense.
Before we can make a decision based on cost however, we need to consider the entire cost.
What is the current cost of the behavior you want to change?
I’ll use after-dinner overeating for example, because this is a struggle for MANY people.
What is the after dinner overeating costing now?
What is the emotional cost of eating patterns that feel beyond control?
How much time have you spent thinking about overeating? Or trying to get rid of overeating in the past? How much energy have you spent beating yourself up because you missed the goal again?
What is the cost of the extra food eaten over the next six months? What is the cost of overeating in terms of health, digestion, or weight concerns? How much do you spend on antacids and anti-inflammatories? What will it cost to buy new clothes? What was the cost of the clothes that no longer fit?
I know firsthand the struggle of weighing the financial cost of coaching against my own history of not reaching my health goals. In my case, I also had an addiction to certain foods which deviously kept telling me that now was NOT the right time to try again to reach my goals.
For ME, coaching made all the difference. I’m not saying that it’s right for you, that’s something each of us can to choose for ourselves. I’m simply saying that before labeling anything “expensive” it’s wise to calculate the entire cost.
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem. Overeating is NOT a personal failing! Overeating is rooted in science. If we are overeating, there are almost always biological reasons.
We are not weak willed. We are not broken. There is nothing wrong with us that needs fixing.
This means we can let go of the SHAME of overeating!
This means there is no need to beat up on ourselves as most humans tend to do. Overeating and shame are as intertwined as a blackberry bramble, and ten times as injurious.
Once we address the scientific reasons for the overeating and untangle the shame, the behavior diminishes greatly, and loses it’s power.
Overeating is rooted in…
The brain is biologically wired to scream HUNGRY when nutritional needs are not being met. We are biologically driven to answer that need, even if we just ate a full meal.
Let’s look at some common reasons the brain might decide our nutritional needs have not been met, and scream HUNGRY, triggering us to eat more.
STRESS
The human response to stress is fight or flight. Our stress response moves energy AWAY from digestion so that it can be used to fight or flee. This leads to nutrient wasting. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if the nutrients we’re eating are being excreted because we are chronically stressed out, we MUST eat more to satisfy nutritional needs.
FAST EATING
Eating fast means that our brain does not have the required time to register the meal and the nutrients we take in. The brain’s requirements are not met, and it tells us in no uncertain terms that we are HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
LOW CALORIES/STRINGENT DIETING
Calorie requirements vary day to day depending on activity levels and more. Our brain is scanning for adequate energy, but if we are restricting calories, we naturally feel HUNGRY if we have not provided enough fuel.
When we are restricting calories to a point where we do not have enough fuel, doesn’t it make complete sense that the brain will scream HUNGRY?
MISSING MACRONUTRIENTS
Macronutrients are food types required in large amounts to survive. Carbohydrates – grains, potatoes, fruits & veggies, and refined sugars Proteins – meat, fish, eggs, nuts, beans, and seeds Healthy Fats = Essential Fatty Acids – fish, seeds, nuts, avocados, olives, coconut
have been linked to reduced rates of cancer and heart disease
are vital to reproductive function. Conception and viable pregnancy do not occur in the absence of Essential Fatty Acids.
There is a common misconception that eating fats makes us fat, but without essential fatty acids, we grow ill and die. If we are lacking in essential fatty acids, our brain screams HUNGRY and we MUST eat more.
Water is a macronutrient and makes up 60% of the human body. Our brain is scanning for nutrients. If macronutrients are found lacking – even water – the brain screams HUNGRY, and we will be BIOLOGICALLY DRIVEN to eat more even if we’re really thirsty.
LOW NUTRIENT FOODS
If we eat low quality food, or low-nutrient food, we may not be getting the nutrients required for health. Our brain is scanning for nutrients, but if we aren’t getting adequate amounts for health our brain screams HUNGRY and we naturally MUST eat more.
MEAL SKIPPING
Appetite is our friend. Without appetite, we stop eating and we die. Skipping meals leads to being truly hungry. Appetite is the correct biological response to hunger.
Eating when hungry = Life.
Ignoring hunger and skipping meals can lead directly to overeating at the very next meal simply because we are underfed, or overeating at the end of day because we didn’t allow ourselves the time to eat when our appetite cued us to eat.
If we haven’t eaten all day, or haven’t eaten much during the day, the correct biological response is hunger. Our brain will SCREAM that we are hungry, and we will be driven to eat more.
It makes complete sense to eat when hungry, and to eat MORE when ravenous!
Overeating is NOT a willpower problem, nor a personal failing!
There are many biological reasons for overeating. I only named a few.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we are in nutritional need.
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that we have a deficit in energy (calories).
The brain will always drive the body to eat more when it determines that food is in short supply.
Since overeating is rooted in science, we can release the SHAME attached to overeating! And often when we address the underlying biological reasons, the overeating vanishes!
The Kindness Key
Once we address the biological reasons, if we are still compulsively overeating, then KINDNESS, CURIOSITY, and AWARENESS are our best allies!
Kindness First! Remember that this is not a personal failing, nor does it have anything to do with willpower. Using food to soothe is a strategy as old as time.
We feel bad, we eat food,we feel better.
It’s a highly effective tactic that works every time, and you are not the only person who has figured this out. You are NOT the only human using food to soothe, I promise. The problems arise when we use food to soothe too frequently, AND… when we feel shame about the behavior.
When we use overeating frequently, it can cause a wide range of health challenges, and the shame we heap on ourselves for using this brilliant coping mechanism can do more damage than the overeating itself!
When we are IN alignment with the energy of love – the energy at our core – we feel AMAZING. We feel energized, fired up, and ready to meet any challenge.
When we are OUT of alignment with our core energy we feel exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated. When we are in shame – the polar opposite of unconditional love – we feel as exhausted, depressed, and unmotivated as is humanly possible.
Overeating and shame can feel like an unbreakable cycle.
We use food to soothe. We beat ourselves up for it. We feel like crap, and… we use food to soothe.
The key to break the cycle is to meet your behavior with KINDNESS instead of criticism.
I understand this may seem too simple. It seems like overeating is the issue and the bit we need to change, but we can’t change the behavior as long as we continue to beat ourselves up for the behavior (which causes hurt feelings that need soothing).
The key is kindness. We can be kind to ourselves instead of critical. We can take a deep breath and remind ourself that we are human, that we are using an effective human strategy, and that nothing has gone wrong. We can give ourself a big hug, like we might hug a friend who was dealing with challenging emotions. We can look for other ways to soothe ourself effectively.
This is how we break the cycle.
NOT by creating more emotions that need soothing, and NOT by judging ourself bad, wrong, or unworthy just because we are human. As we begin to accept the behavior of overeating as something we do – and not as something that defines who we are – we have room to use curiosity to increase our awareness.
Kindness unlocks Curiosity!
Once we are no longer draining energy in self-criticism, we have energy to get curious about what’s really going on for us!
We can ask questions like:
What triggered the overeating?
What thought was I thinking?
What emotion was I trying to soothe?
What was I really hungry for?
What would have been most nourishing for me?
How can I soothe myself other than with food?
Curiosity increases our Awareness!
We can become aware of when, where, what, and why we are overeating. We can cultivate awareness about what we’re thinking on a regular basis, and which thoughts seem to drive us toward overeating. Without the judgement and criticism occupying our energy and attention, we can see what’s really going on. Awareness is always the first step in creating change, so if we want to change a behavior, we want to get curious about it and grow our awareness.
Overeating is rooted in science, so we can use the key of kindness to release the shame, unlock our curiosity, and grow our awareness. With our awareness, the behavior loses it’s power, and we are free to choose change, if we wish to change.
Grow on!
If you are overeating, you are not alone.
Which biological causes of overeating can you play with to help release the behavior?
When you hear the inner critic, how possible is it to take a deep breath, and choose kindness?
As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help. Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?
I’m glad you asked!
While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.
Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.
MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”
A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body. MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.
This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.
So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?
Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:
Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:
“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo
“After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco
“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn. She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo
“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole
Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to: – Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating. – Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors. – Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body. – Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next. – Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
What do you have to lose?
Grow on!
If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat to see if I’m the right coach for you!
The dictionary says stress is a state of mental or emotional tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
The dictionary is wrong. How do I know? Because stress is a feeling – an emotion – and the only place our emotions come from is from the thoughts we think.
Adverse or very demanding circumstances will absolutely cause some people to think thoughts that lead to feeling stressed. Those exact same adverse or very demanding circumstances will cause others to think thoughts that lead to feeling exhilarated.
Since this is absolutely true, we want to select our thoughts with great care and intention.
Self-chosen stress vs normal, natural stress.
What is a “normal” or natural life stress? These are stressors that we cannot control, like aging, health concerns, natural disasters, financial setbacks. Those kinds of stress show up in every life, and Google can offer myriad advice on how to handle them. I want to talk about optional stress – the stress we choose that is completely unnecessary – yet is often MORE damaging to our health and peace of mind than natural stress.
Self-chosen stressors include, but are not limited to:
negative self-talk
self body shaming & body hate
adopting weight loss strategies that are stringent & impossible to maintain
artificially controlling appetite
limiting a needed macronutrient such as protein, fat, or carbohydrates
believing we are unlovable, and will never be loved unless we lose weight or look different
trying to create an impossible-to-have body
unfavorably comparing oneself to others
believing we are alone in this world, or that the universe is against us
The list goes on, and is different for each of us. When we choose these stressors, we live under a constantly higher level of stress than is necessary.
Most of us have plenty of natural stress in life, so why would we choose this type of self-harming thinking? We have been conditioned over a lifetime to choose these stressors. We didn’t make this stuff up. We didn’t invent thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. The world we live in trained that behavior into us, some more than others.
Other than the fact that stress feels crappy, why do we want to begin learning how to let go of these self-chosen stressors? Constant stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposits at midsection
increased inflammation
gut microbiome die off
nutrient wasting
decreased energy
appetite deregulation
desensitivity to pleasure
decreased metabolism
decreased Thyroid function
decreased oxygen uptake
poor sleep
So how do we begin to let go of these self-chosen stressors?
Awareness is always the first step. We cannot change it if we do not see it.
The Grow on! section below includes a way to begin cultivating more awareness around self-chosen stress.
Don’t beat yourself up for thinking stressful thoughts! It’s a conditioned human behavior. Give yourself some grace, practice letting go of self-chosen stressors, and see what happens for yourself!
Grow on!
How does stress show up in your body? Write a physical description of how it feels when you are STRESSED about something. For some people it will include sweaty palms, or a racing heart. For others it might feel like a twist in the solar plexus or a kick in the gut. Whatever it is for you, take a minute to describe the physical sensations that arise for you when you feel stressed out.
Practice awareness by noticing these physical symptoms each time they show up. As you become aware that you are feeling your symptoms of stress – ask yourself what thought you were thinking that caused the symptoms. Then ask yourself if it is a life stress, or a self-chosen stress.
If it is something you are choosing to think/believe, what will it take to give self permission to let it go?
Reframing thoughts is a superpower that grows with coaching!
If you are ready to let go of some of your self-chosen stress and need some help or guidance, I would love to chat with you! Click THIS LINK to schedule a free conversation to see if I am the right coach for you!
