I read an article somewhere about 40 years ago that explained that people who expected bad luck on Friday the 13th often found bad luck, while those who did not expect bad luck rarely find that Friday unlucky. I decided then and there the I would not expect bad luck on Friday the 13th. I took it one step further when I decided to dub Friday the 13th my own personal lucky day. Since then I have had many happy encounters on Friday the 13th, in fact my first child was conceived on Friday the 13th.
Around that same time I also read an article that explained that symmetry was one of the markers for beauty in human faces. The more symmetrical the face, the more attractive other humans find it. In fact currently Wikipedia says “Facial symmetry has been found to increase ratings of attractiveness in human faces. More symmetrical faces are perceived as more attractive in both males and females, but facial symmetry plays a larger role in judgments of attractiveness concerning female faces.”
I agreed with the concept when they trotted out photos of beautiful celebrities and started measuring and comparing the two sides of their face. Symmetry is wonderful indeed. Nature is symmetrical in many beautiful ways. Symmetrical lines of architecture always draw my camera’s lens.
When I woke with Bell’s Palsy, that long-ago article was the first thing that came to my mind. My next thought was, “I’m no longer beautiful,” because my face was completely asymmetrical.
My smile opened many doors to me in the first fifty years of my life. It was difficult to imagine my life could ever be the same or that people would ever see me the same magical, privileged way I had been seen when I had my symmetrical beauty.
I mistakenly believed that my value, my worth, was intrinsically tied to my physical beauty. Once I began working with my amazing energy coach, I began to see that my worth was intrinsic. My value had nothing to do with my smile. My beauty emanates from my core vibration, not my face. This shift in perspective improved my life in more ways than I can say.
It must be my lucky day! After all these years it finally occurred to me that if I can just decide that Friday the Thirteenth is lucky for me, then I can just decide that asymmetry is beautiful.
Grow on!
What thoughts/beliefs/perspectives are you currently holding onto that do not serve you? In what ways is that thought/belief/perspective limiting you?
Life throws us curve balls. It’s part of being human.
We have challenges in myriad forms, every one of us. Some challenges are self-chosen, like training for a marathon, changing careers, or getting a puppy. Others are gifted to us by Life University, like a broken bone, health and weight challenges, or caring for a parent with Alzheimer’s.
Oftentimes the challenges we choose can inspire us, grow us into new phases of our lives, or give us a sense of accomplishment. In other words, these challenges can energize us.
Challenges we do NOT choose can often burden us, feel like a crippling blow, or give us a sense of powerlessness. In other words, these challenges can deplete us.
So HOW do we keep Life’s challenges from sucking the life force right out of us? Facing challenges requires stamina, effort, and energy. If we feel victimized because circumstance was forced on us, our energy is stolen before we begin, and the challenge quickly drains us.
Choose the Challenge
One strategy that can preserve our precious life force (ENERGY) is to choose the challenge. Yes – the unwanted challenge that Life just threw in your lap. Choose that one. Why? Because it’s the one Life gave you, so it’s meant for you! Hating it, despising it, resisting it, and running away from it drains energy faster than anything.
Choosing to be with the challenge gives us power. Choosing to be present – with whatever life hands us – gives us energy. Wishing we didn’t have the challenge exhausts us. The simple act of choosing to be here, challenge and all, shifts the energy in our favor.
Many clients come to me with challenges they did not choose, do not want, and wish to be rid of quickly. Often they have the idea that this unchosen challenge must be overcome so their ‘real life’ can begin. But real life is here and now. If we wait for it to begin at some distant point in the future, we are missing life!
Life handed us a challenge. We can choose to cast ourself as the victim, resist the challenge, and try to survive till it’s over – at which time we will presumably step into our power and begin our real life. Right? Or we can choose to live our lives right through this challenge, rising to meet it at each step, and retaining as much energy as possible.
Let’s take a broken ankle for an example. How do we choose a challenge like this?
I seriously doubt that a broken ankle is asking us to get a walking cast and stomp right on as if nothing happened. How do I know this? Because ‘business as usual’ is what Life is trying to shake up! Life is asking us to grow in new directions.
Choosing this challenge might mean accepting help from others, letting go of commitments, or learning to care for self – it’s different for each of us. Rising up to meet this challenge might mean slowing down! If Life is asking us to slow down with a broken ankle and we do not slow down, Life will deliver another challenge and another and another – until we slow down.
Choosing the challenge means getting curious about what Life is asking us to learn, and doing our best to listen for the lesson. We are not being punished. The challenge is never a punishment.
We are being asked to grow and mature into the competent, confident beings that we truly are! Life is trusting us with this lesson at this time because Life knows we’re ready. We can trust Life, relax into the challenge, and get curious.
When we choose the challenge, the challenge is still challenging, we just have more energy to meet it, learn from it, integrate its gifts, and grow. In other words, we allow it to energize us instead of deplete us.
Grow on!
Does your current challenge feel energizing or depleting? What is this challenge asking you to learn? If this challenge has a message from the Divine, what is the message? What insight have you gained from this challenge? How is this challenge asking you to grow as a person, or grow in relationship with others?
There is no one right answer that fits every body. There is no food plan that is perfect for every human, no exercise prescription that suits every life, no one plan that will create the a healthy body/life for every person. That’s why we can’t just read a book, follow all the guidelines, and create our body in whatever image we deem perfection. If there were one right way to transform our body, that “way” would have been discovered and marketed for zillions.
There are billions of dollars being made annually by diet systems, workout plans, and nutritional supplements, but have you noticed how different they all are? Some say eat large amounts of protein, some dictate no protein at all. Other diets are non-fat, while still others include healthy fats at every meal. Some are effective for some people. All of them claim to be the magic bean – the one system that works miracles.
While it’s true that many of these methods may be effective for some – at least short term – how do we know which one works for us?
If you feel confused or frustrated around this topic, it’s with good reason!
What should I eat? What exercise should I do?
These questions have been documented and debated to death for decades. It’s no wonder so many people are confused about what works and what is hype!
So how do we do what is best for our health and our body? If I have a goal to transform my body in some way, what is the best approach for me?
There is only one authority on your body and your health: YOUR Body.
If we ask the body what it needs and then listen, our body will clearly tell us what is beneficial and nourishing, and what is not.
This is a super simple technique, but it requires slowing down and being present. In our fast-paced society where time is in short supply, we rarely do that. But if you are telling me that some kind of transformation is your goal, slowing down and being present will allow you to find your way. YOUR way, the way that most benefits you.
The path to the healthy body you desire will not be found in books, but in slowing down and really listening to what your body says. This takes practice, and patience, and time.
Elimination Diet –
The elimination diet is one of the BEST ways to help people find out what is, or is not, working for their health and their body. An elimination diet is NOT a diet meant to sustain us for life. It is meant to be used over a few weeks to discover which foods we eat regularly are not serving our health.
The main thing I want to tell you is that NOTHING IS FOREVER. Many people won’t try the elimination diet because they fear they will find out they are allergic to a food they love, and will have to give it up forever.
Nothing is forever. This is just an experiment to see how different foods nourish or deplete the body. Even if you discover that you are allergic to something, you don’t have to give it up! That’s a choice you get to make. We make better choices when we are informed, so this is simply a way to gather information.
Think of the elimination diet as a playful experiment to uncover valuable treasure. In this case, the treasure is information that allows us to make choices to improve our health and transform our body. There are myriad reasons one may wish to undertake a playful experiment with the elimination diet. Many kinds of digestive complaints are eradicated with an elimination diet. Many people release all kinds of other issues including skin problems, headaches, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, sleep issues, low energy, brain fog, and more! Many people accept these issues as a normal part of life, when they may actually be caused by something we are eating regularly. If you suffer with any of these, wouldn’t it be AWESOME to be able to stop the suffering?
The elimination diet is a very simple basic experiment that anyone can try without paying a dime. Since it’s not profitable, we don’t hear about it. It doesn’t have an advertising budget. The elimination diet provides specific answers right for YOU. Then, armed with body wisdom, you get to choose.
I will briefly discuss each step below, but I attach a PDF HERE from the University of Wisconsin Integrative Medicine that explains the details fully.
Grow on!
Explore which foods enhance your life, and which foods are depleting your energy.
Step 1 – Planning • Decide which foods to avoid, which to include. Ask yourself a few key questions: – What foods do I eat most often? – What foods do I crave? – What foods do I eat to “feel better”? – What foods would I have trouble giving up? – What foods have I noticed symptoms of irritation when I eat them? (Runny nose, burning sinus, upset digestion, low energy, headache, etc.) • Make a list of the foods from your answers above, and any from the list below that your health care practitioner advises: Foods problematic for many people: Dairy Gluten Soy Corn Eggs Peanuts Tree nuts Citrus Shellfish
The list you just made is your list of foods to avoid for 2 weeks. • Now make a list of foods you CAN include!
Step 2 – Avoiding Enjoy eating from the “Eat this” list. Avoid foods on your “avoid this” list • For 2 weeks, avoid the foods that may be causing issues. Many people notice health symptoms improve in the first few days.
Step 3 – Challenging • If your symptoms have not improved in two weeks, stop the diet and talk with your health care practitioner about whether or not to try it again with a different combination of foods.
• If your symptoms improve, start “challenging” your body with the eliminated foods, one food group at a time. As you do this, keep a written record of your symptoms.
To challenge your body, add a new food group every three days. It takes three days to be sure that your symptoms have time to come back if they are going to.
Step 4 – Choosing • Based on your results, choose which foods you want to continue eating, which foods to let go, and which foods you want to eat in smaller amounts.
If you would like further guidance in creating a sustainable way of eating, and a happy relationship with food and body, please, schedule a free 30-minute chat HERE to see if I’m the right Mind Body Eating Coach for you!
Over my nearly 20 years as a massage therapist, I’ve seen hundreds of clients over nearly five thousand office hours. I’ve seen every shape and size of body, but the one thing I’ve seen that every single body has in common is that it is truly a miracle, without doubt. You may have forgotten that your body is a miracle, and if that’s true for you, you are in the majority, because most of us have.
We forget about breathing because we don’t have to think about it. Our miraculous lungs do that for us. We do not have to think about making our heart beat, so it’s easy to take it for granted and forget that our entire form is a miracle. When a baby is born – our children and grandchildren – we glimpse the miracle of human life, we may even remember that we are also miracles. But days, weeks, months, years later we simply don’t think about it because we don’t have to.
Our miracle bodies often take enormous abuse and neglect before breaking down. They support us 24/7 without ever stopping – even while we sleep – until they stop for good, then our Soul/Spirit/Energy moves on without the body. The true essence of Who We Are moves on, and leaves the body like an astronaut stepping out of her spacesuit.
Our spacesuit supports life, so it’s worth taking care! We care for all kinds of things; plants, kids, cars, pets. If you own a home, you take care of it. The body is no different! It is the home for the physical experience of your eternal being. Our body is supposed to be loved and nourished in return for all it gives us. Our physical body is meant to be enjoyed while we are in it, and it’s so much easier to enjoy when it’s feeling great.
It’s super easy to fall out of the habit of self-care!
I’ve been fascinated for years by something I have observed as both a massage therapist and a life/health coach. I have observed that any time humans feel short on time or money, we let go of the things that serve us best to make space for the “have-tos” in life. We focus on finances and chase work hours at the expense of our health. We take care of parents or children, and let go of our own spiritual and physical needs. Most of us assume that at some point things will calm down and we’ll get back to the yoga class or the spiritual practice when we have more time.
I invite you to celebrate your spacesuit NOW! That miracle you’re wearing has been with you, supported you, given you life 24/7 since you arrived here. I invite you to celebrate that amazing feat, that miraculous performance, that steadfast support, in whatever way feels satisfying to you!
Honor the temple that houses your eternal spirit in ways that elevate your spirit!
The following is a short/incomplete list of little daily acts that honor/celebrate/nourish the body.
Brush & floss teeth. Wash hair. Moisturize skin. Eat slowly. Choose foods that nourish YOU (different for everyone.) Be present when you eat. Rest. (Two ten minute relaxation periods a day do wonders.) Hydrate. Soak in the tub. Move in ways that feel good. Make love. Focus on breathing. Get a massage/facial/mani-pedi. Walk barefoot in the grass or sand. Ask the body what it wants and LISTEN to what it’s saying. (MORE on this in my next post!)
Grow on!
Make a list of ways you are already celebrating your body. Congratulate yourself for all the things you already do. That’s awesome! Look at the list above and pick one or two that sound really great to you. Add them to your schedule and try them out.
Most of us know that when we look good, we tend to feel good. But are you aware that the opposite is also true?
When we feel good, we look good.
Think about a time when you felt really great about yourself. How much more comfortable were you in your own skin? How powerful and confident did you feel? When we feel accomplished, triumphant, successful, truly loved, filled with purpose – of course we look better. Our body chemistry is completely different than when we feel confused, failed, unloved, directionless, or under attack.
It is common in this world, I have noticed, for people who are reaching for a weight-loss goal to try to reach that goal by forcing, harassing, restricting, stressing, pushing, and hating themselves.
It is also common to decide that the body is not right by societal standards, so it must not be liked, in fact it must be hated. We feel we must hate the body into submission, hate our eating issues for making us fat, hate food for being so fattening and delicious at the same time, hate our appetite, flog ourselves at the gym until we finally reach a weight where we will feel better about ourselves, or just give up entirely and eat for solace because we are so damned imperfect.
If any of this resonates for you, you’re not alone!
Somehow this crazy world has conditioned us (brainwashed us through media propaganda, and advertising campaigns designed to sell a magic fix for bodies that are not right by societal standards) to believe that we must hate ourselves until we reach their standards. To which I feel compelled to reply:
Fuck. Their. Fucking. Standards.
I invite you to join me in saying, “Fuck their standards.”
If they don’t like my body, FUCK them. Because you know what I decided to do? I decided to approve of my body right now. I decided that their standards are fucking stupid, and they do not appeal to me, so they do not apply to me because I am the authority on what is fucking beautiful in my life.
Why? Cause it’s my life.
Their judgements only count if I give them validity and I just revoked their right to decide anything for me. I choose to decide for myself. I invite each of you to step into your own power and decide for your self what is beautiful in your life, because who the fuck are THEY anyway? Who are they to judge ME unworthy?
I am a child of God, a conduit of Divine love and light, and I will not dim my light to allow them to feel comfortable in my presence!
They want me to feel diminished, unworthy, and powerless so that they can grow rich and feel better about themselves. Fuck that! And while we’re at it, fuck the collective ‘them’ who believes they are anyone’s authority on what is good and right and beautiful.
If we feel more beautiful when we are feeling truly loved, then what POWER we wield when we choose to truly love ourselves as we are, without waiting for the approval of others.
I choose to feel my true divinity flowing through me. I choose to feel confident and powerful. And every time I feel the Divine Truth of Who I am, I look fucking amazing.
photo by donnio, on a day when i felt GREAT and it shows.
Grow on!
What is stopping you from feeling good about you NOW?
What baby steps can you take toward loving yourself more now?
What kind of example do you want to set for your children and grandchildren?
Each time you become aware that negative self-talk arises, what can you say to remind yourself to move gently back in the direction of self-love?
Remember last week’s blog post when I talked about stress, the effects of stress on our body, and the difference between life stress and self-chosen stress?
This week I want to talk about one self-chosen stressor in particular. It’s insidious in our culture, and most of us are not even aware that it is a stressor!
Are you a fast eater, a slow eater, or a moderately paced eater?
Ninety percent of people asked this question answered, “fast”. And guess what? Human biology interprets eating fast as being stressed.
Remember, we saw that constant low-level stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposits at midsection
increased inflammation
gut microbiome die off
nutrient wasting
decreased energy
appetite deregulation
desensitivity to pleasure
decreased metabolism
decreased Thyroid function
decreased oxygen uptake
poor sleep
Imagine how this affects us if we have a weight challenge, or body transformation goal! Even if we are not pursuing a food and body goal, none of these optimizes our health. It makes complete sense that we want to reduce stress whenever possible.
If you answered that you are a “fast” or even “moderately paced” eater, then you have now identified a stressor that you can choose to get rid of! Reducing stress always has positive benefits, so why wouldn’t we put some effort into slowing down with our food?
The main reason is because eating fast is a habit.
Generally, until someone asks us this question, we never even consider our eating speed. In fact part of the problem is that many of us never even consider our food!
We may skip breakfast or grab a pastry at the coffee shop, then eat lunch at the desk or running between clients, then grab some take out on the way home for dinner. If any of these behaviors sound familiar, then you have a golden opportunity to release some of the stress that you carry!
(Slowing down with food is also a first step in releasing patterns of bingeing, after-dinner eating, and overeating.)
If you are interested in trying to break the habit of eating fast, you have much to gain! So what do you have to lose (besides stress)?
Here are some other symptoms caused or exacerbated by fast eating which can also diminish or go away completely:
Eating fast is a habit. Eating more slowly requires some effort because we are creating a new habit, and new habits take time. This is NOT about counting bites. This is about relaxing with food and increasing pleasure! This is about enjoying our mealtimes and boosting happiness. This is about being present, becoming aware & listening to our body.
Fast eating is a habit.
Slow eating is a habit worth cultivating.
Grow on!
If you want to release the stress of fast eating, start by coming to your meals in as relaxed a state as you can. Try to eat somewhere quiet when possible, or at the very least not in an environment that feels stressful. Don’t watch the news, and incorporate some music that relaxes you if that appeals to you.
Before you begin to eat, take two or three grounding breaths. Allow your heart rate to calm, then turn your attention to your meal. Be present with your food. Savor the flavor. Explore the textures on your tongue. Really enjoy the relaxed time with your food. Food is meant to be a satisfying pleasure.
If you are eating food you do not enjoy, ask yourself, “why?”. Food is meant to nourish body, mind and spirit, and we absorb far more nourishment from food we enjoy than from food we do not enjoy.
If you generally take 5 minutes for your meal, try to make it last 10 or 15 minutes. If you generally eat in 15 minutes, try to stretch that out to half an hour.
I hear you!
Life is busy. Sometimes, unfortunately, we might actually have only five minutes to eat. We can still approach our meal in a more relaxed and calm manner. If you truly only have a short time, make that time count. Breathe deeply and relax. Taste what you are eating. Be present to the flavor and texture.
Enjoy!
Find lots more information on the benefits of slowing down when we eat in this fabulous book by Marc David, the founder for the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.
Emotions are energy in motion. Human beings are energy flowers. In this context, flower means one who flows energy (flow-er), but I love the image of us as energy flowers!
Pascal Debrunner-unsplash
In simplest terms, emotions indicate which direction we are flowing our energy: toward Source, or away from Source. The frequency of Source energy is unconditional love. Source energy (unconditional love) is at the core of every human, emanating from us, and calling to us.
Our emotions tell us if we are moving toward, or away from, that unconditional love! Pretty cool, right?
When we experience high-vibe emotions like joy, love, passion, or appreciation, we feel great! These emotions resonate with our natural frequency, feel happy in our body, and may cause a lightness in our heart and mind. We sometimes describe it as feeling like all is right in our world.
Unconditional love resonates with humans because that’s what we are! Source is unconditional love, and we are made of Source energy, so of course high-vibe emotions feel right and familiar.
When we experience low-vibe emotions like insecurity, unworthiness, depression, powerlessness or toxic-shame, we kinda feel like shit, right?
The reason these emotions feel crappy in our body is because they do NOT resonate with the unconditional love at our core. Low-vibe emotions feel discordant, jagged, heavy, and uncomfortable because they are a completely different frequency than the Source energy at our core.
When we find ourselves experiencing shitty feeling emotions, it only ever means one thing: we are thinking in a way that Source would NEVER think. We are thinking unloving thoughts about ourselves or others. Source energy does NOT see us (or anyone) as unworthy, unloveable, or powerless. Not ever.
Source sees us in every moment as the lovable, worthy, all-powerful, joyful beings that we are!
So Source stands at our core KNOWING the truth of who we are, flowing through us and feeling amazing. When we are loving ourselves, we feel great because we are in vibrational alignment with our soul. When we are doubting ourselves, or thinking hateful thoughts, it feels OFF, because it is out of alignment with the truth of who we are.
Sometimes when we experience heavier vibrations, we get stuck. When we think enough thoughts that feel unworthy, unlovable, and powerless, we can begin to believe that we are unworthy, unlovable, and powerless, instead of understanding that these are simply signposts showing us that we are thinking thoughts that are moving us away from our true vibration.
So when we feel crappy, NOTHING has gone wrong! It does NOT mean that we are crappy, or have failed in any way. It does not mean we are stuck here and will always feel crappy. It’s simply a sign that we are, in that moment, flowing energy away from the alignment that feels good.
Once we recognize the signs – physical sensations we feel in our body – we can choose to pivot back toward unconditional love. Then we can move toward alignment with our natural frequency again where we feel great.
Our emotions are signposts. They show us where we are going by feeling happy or crappy. Then we get to choose to keep going, or course-correct. Doesn’t it sound FUN to practice better feeling, high-vibe emotions that align us with love, joy, abundance, health, and vibrant energy?!
Grow on!
What signs are your emotions giving you? How do you feel about that? How much do you like the emotional direction you are traveling? How quickly are you able to pivot when you want to? This takes practice, so let’s be gentle with ourselves while learning this new skill!
If you want to learn more about identifying and following your own emotional signposts, or learn how to shift emotional direction, coaching can help.
To find out if I am the right coach for you, click HERE, then check “chat with Cyndi” and click “continue” to schedule a date/time that work for you. It’s free, and you’ll walk away with at least one action to move you in any direction you want to go!
My mother turned eighty this week. I bought a ticket to fly to Iowa in the dead of winter to help her celebrate the big day, but I didn’t tell her. I decided to surprise her since no one who knows me would ever suspect that I would fly to Iowa in February. (I am allergic to snow.)
I have been planning the trip since October. I bought a new coat since winter coats aren’t really needed here in California. I bought some leg warmers. I packed my suitcase about two weeks ago because organization is one of my superpowers. I paid to check a bag because, winter layers.
Two days before I was to fly it became very clear that travel was not worth the risk of covid, as fully vaccinated and boosted people were being hospitalized with the newest variant. I chose to cancel my plans.
Of course I was disappointed, but I accepted the situation as Divine Guidance. This was simply not the right time for my trip.
As I unpacked woolen socks and warm winter wear, I realized I had the next ten days off with nothing scheduled.
My logical mind rushed in with a plan to reach out and book as many massage clients as possible. Instantly I felt my energy drop, as if just booking them would exhaust me.
My intuition speaks to me in my gut. I have learned that when something feels warm in my gut, I move toward it. If something feels cold in my gut, I try to move away from it. Rebooking my week felt cold, but I momentarily resisted my intuition because one of the voices in my head was whispering, “we need the income!”
Luckily for me, a recent episode of my favorite Podcast, the Spiritual Sandbox, was whispering in my other ear, “Give. Yourself. A. Fucking. Break!” That felt warm. Then a Karen Drucker song popped into my head to join the party singing, “Money is coming to me easily and effortlessly!” I laughed with relief, knowing that I didn’t need to break my neck to rebuild the week’s paycheck.
I finished unpacking and picked up a book I had been meaning to read. I spent the rest of the day reading and playing a silly word game that I love. The next day we drove to San Francisco, took a long walk and enjoyed a picnic by the water. I went shopping for a new pair of walking shoes one day, and found a really great deal. I slept late, wrote blog posts, and finished watching the Book of Boba Fett on Disney. I meditated each morning, and made time to journal, and connect with friends.
I let my mom in on the planned surprise and Divine redirect. She agreed with the wisdom of my choice. We chatted daily, and agreed to celebrate her birthday in May when Iowa weather won’t be so bitter.
It was a really relaxing, energizing week.
My tax refund arrived yesterday and covered the week’s bills. I feel well-rested, rejuvenated and ready to rock a full week of coaching, and massage clients! I needed time off more than I realized. The Universe knew that, and arranged it for me – when I was willing to follow my gut.
The Universe is always guiding us.
Grow on!
What is your gut telling you? When you consider a decision, does it feel warm or cold? What happens when you follow that guidance?
