It’s no wonder so many people fail to lose weight.
Losing Weight is NOT Possible.
Losing something requires inattentiveness to it. When we’re not paying attention to our food and movement we usually lose health, but we GAIN weight.
We can absolutely release excess weight if we wish to do so, but we’re not going to LOSE it! We will not suddenly wake up and be surprised the weight is missing. “Where did those extra pounds go?! They just vanished. I’ve lost them somewhere!”
While losing something requires inattention, releasing excess weight takes GREAT attention to detail! Releasing weight requires us to pay attention to the healthy goals we’ve set, and take deliberate actions that lead away from inattention.
Making sustainable life changes requires attention! We have to switch OFF the autopilot and guide the journey manually making one course correction at a time.
We begin to pay close attention to the voice in our head, and course correct every time it sounds harsh and critical. We notice the emotional vibrations happening in our body, and begin to understand how those emotions drive our actions. And we begin to cultivate emotions that drive actions that deliberately lead us to our goals for better health!
If you have been trying to lose weight for awhile, and you feel like your journey keeps looping back to the beginning, I invite you to STOP trying to lose weight.
Get curious about why the excess weight is here at this time. Begin making a plan to release any excess weight. Then pay attention to every detail of your plan until it leads you right where you wish to be.
Grow on!
Why do you want to release weight? How motivating is that reason for you? If excess weight is a message from the Universe, what is it saying? What do you need to let go of to reach your goal? What is one action can you take today that leads you in that direction?
Hiring a coach can cost hundreds of dollars per session, and thousands for several months of sessions. Spending money to improve ourselves can feel tricky for many of us, and may even feel as though we need to justify the expense.
If you are considering hiring a coach to help change eating habits that you’ve been trying to change for awhile, it’s completely rational to question whether or not coaching will be worth your investment. We all want to get our money’s worth, and if we invest months of our time, we’d like a return on that investment as well!
It makes total sense.
Before we can make a decision based on cost however, we need to consider the entire cost.
What is the current cost of the behavior you want to change?
I’ll use after-dinner overeating for example, because this is a struggle for MANY people.
What is the after dinner overeating costing now?
What is the emotional cost of eating patterns that feel beyond control?
How much time have you spent thinking about overeating? Or trying to get rid of overeating in the past? How much energy have you spent beating yourself up because you missed the goal again?
What is the cost of the extra food eaten over the next six months? What is the cost of overeating in terms of health, digestion, or weight concerns? How much do you spend on antacids and anti-inflammatories? What will it cost to buy new clothes? What was the cost of the clothes that no longer fit?
I know firsthand the struggle of weighing the financial cost of coaching against my own history of not reaching my health goals. In my case, I also had an addiction to certain foods which deviously kept telling me that now was NOT the right time to try again to reach my goals.
For ME, coaching made all the difference. I’m not saying that it’s right for you, that’s something each of us can to choose for ourselves. I’m simply saying that before labeling anything “expensive” it’s wise to calculate the entire cost.
For decades the diet industry’s messaging has been: Eat less, lose weight. But if that’s true, why do so many diets fail?
If weight release is the goal, cutting calories may not be the answer!
Not all calories are created equally. If we consume 2,000 calories of white bread, French fries, fast foods, and sugary drinks, we will not have the same experience with health and wellness as someone eating 2,000 calories of proteins, essential fats, and a wide variety of fruits and vegetables.
In cases of extreme calorie restriction, the body stops building muscle and begins storing fat. The human body is biologically wired to do this when we don’t get enough to eat. It’s a defense mechanism meant to save our life. We cannot get around our own biology! To reverse this defense, we must eat MORE calories to get the metabolism going. Then the body can begin building muscles and burning our food as fuel instead of storing it as fat.
Eating less can sometimes lead to a release of excess weight, but in my personal and professional experience, it’s rarely sustainable.
Why?
Carrying excess weight is never caused simply by “eating too much.”
If we are overeating, we have excellent fucking reasons to overeat that are rooted in the SCIENCE of either biology or psychology.
Some biological reasons for overeating:
Not eating breakfast
Skipping meals.
Not getting enough of one or more macronutrients:
water
healthy fats
protein
carbohydrates
Eating empty-calorie foods.
Physical addiction to processed foods.
Allergies or sensitivities to frequently used foods.
Some psychological reasons for overeating:
Stress.
Self-criticism.
Self-doubt, and low self-esteem.
Inability to process emotions.
Low or no pleasure in life.
Lack of spiritual connection.
Lack of social connection.
Lack of purpose.
Depressed energy.
If weight release is the goal, we want to play with all of these variables before we decide if we need to reduce or increase calories. The key to weight release is different for each of us. One woman may need to reduce stress, while another may need to increase nutrients. One person may need to find an outlet for her creativity, another may need to change employment, or release an unhealthy relationship in order to reach a stable, healthy weight.
Most of us will also want to release any foods that we observe to be causing symptoms. So, maybe you keep eating the same 2,000 calorie diet, but you eliminate all the wheat (or dairy, or any food suspected of affecting you personally), and suddenly the excess weight releases without effort.
If weight release is the goal, and we are hungry all the time, frustrated due to lack of progress, and still trying to reduce calories, it’s time to LET GO of the “Eat Less, Weigh Less” propaganda to which we have been indoctrinated!
Let’s play with new ways of thinking about weight release, new ways of thinking about weight, and new ways to be kinder to ourselves and our bodies.
Grow On!
Instead of trying to eat less, try this: Don’t skip breakfast! Play with adding protein and fat calories to breakfast and lunch. Play with releasing foods that come in packages. Play with eating more whole food. Play with letting go of wheat, or dairy. Play with eating salad every day. Listen to your body when you eat. What is it telling you?
As I discussed in my post, Who the Fuck Needs a Life Coach, not everyone is familiar with professional coaching, so it’s sometimes necessary to explain what coaching is, how it works, and who coaching can help. Beyond that, it may be easy to identify what a business coach, nutrition coach, or fitness coach does – and who might hire them – but what the fuck is a Mind Body Eating Coach?
I’m glad you asked!
While an eating coach might sound like someone Joey Chestnut would hire, a Certified Mind Body Eating Coach helps people who struggle with weight, body image, low-energy, digestive issues, or compulsive eating behaviors like stress eating, overeating, and binge eating.
Mind Body Eating Coaching (MBEC) addresses the nutritional aspect of what’s going on for the client, but our sessions also focus on the personal, emotional, and psychological aspects of what may be driving unwanted eating behaviors.
MBEC training is a nine-month course of study focused on Mind Body Nutrition, and Dynamic Eating Psychology. According to the school’s founder, Marc David, “Mind Body Nutrition takes the science of nutrition to a whole new place, and Dynamic Eating Psychology is a positive, results-oriented approach to eating concerns that speaks to heart, mind and soul.”
A Certified Mind Body Eating Coach is not going to offer you a specific eating plan, nor exercise program, though she may help you create one specific to your body. MBE Coaching helps clients get to the root of why we do the things we do, and why we do what we don’t want to do.
This unique approach offers a pathway to finally heal our relationship with food and body that is different from anything I’ve ever experienced, and I’m willing to bet most of my readers have never tried anything like this before either.
So WHO might hire a Mind Body Eating Coach?
Those who will benefit from Mind Body Eating Coaching are those who wish to:
Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating.
Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors.
Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body.
Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next.
Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
Here’s what my current clients are saying about Mind Body Eating Coaching:
“Even though I have had only 2 coaching sessions with Cyndi, I cannot believe what a difference it has already made with myself as a whole. The week following my first session was amazing. I was able to actually have calm peaceful moments, (which I have not had since my husband passed almost 3 years ago). I am so looking forward to where my next sessions lead me.” ~ ST in Vallejo
“After only two months, my insatiable desire to snack after dinner is almost completely gone. I can’t believe it was this easy. I thought I was eating a healthy low fat diet, and it turns out THAT was why I couldn’t stop snacking! I’m eating more food, and I am starting to release excess weight!” ~ SL in San Francisco
“Cyndi is a great coach- she’s patient with her clients as they learn. She’s funny, insightful, informative and easy to work with. I like how she celebrates the smallest “aha” moments as she guides you in your journey.” ~ PC in Vallejo
“Cyndi has been very helpful in keeping me focused and keeping me grounded and bringing me back to earth when I lose it. She has taught me a lot about enjoying what I’m eating and being mindful when it’s meal time. I derive great enjoyment from our sessions. I find them very useful and Cyndi very uplifting” ~ BK in Pinole
Please forward this blog post to anyone you know who might like to: – Replace endless dieting with lifelong nourished eating. – Release unwanted, or compulsive eating behaviors. – Find a natural and sustainable way of eating that suits their own body. – Savor life instead of rushing from one moment to the next. – Feel confident in the skin they’re in, instead of feeling worried about what they weigh.
What do you have to lose?
Grow on!
If you’re considering hiring a coach, please use THIS LINK to schedule a chat to see if I’m the right coach for you!
Today would have been my grandmother’s one hundred eleventh birthday. She’s been gone since the late nineties, and I still miss her, but I never focus on her being gone. I always think how blessed I was to have her wonderful energy in my life.
Life is full of challenges that demand our time and energy. Sometimes they grab our attention so hard that for awhile that challenge is all we can think about. In our minds, we slow time and chew our options. The subject constantly pops up uninvited. We may lie awake at night turning it over and over. When it slips out of mind, we almost reach to bring it back because we miss the familiar vibration.
I want us to learn to savor every blessing, every success, every step achieved toward our goal, every tiny triumph with the same single-minded focus that we use to worry!
Why?
The things that we look at, and think about are the things life brings us.
When we focus on hardship or challenge, Life brings us hardships and challenges. When we focus on what we love and enjoy, Life brings us love and enjoyment. I want us to celebrate everything we love, and get infinitely MORE to love.
I want us to stop and smell the fucking roses!
I feel like roses are literally an invitation from Life to slow down enough to enjoy what’s right in front of us. Not all roses have scent anymore since they have been bred for beauty, so when we find a scented rose, it’s a moment to enjoy. Let’s stop and enjoy it!
We’re always in such a hurry to rush into the next challenge that we often forget to celebrate finding a solution for the previous challenge. We can get so focused on the larger puzzle that we fail to give ourselves credit for all the pieces we’ve already fit neatly into place.
If we have a goal to take a fabulous vacation, I invite us to enjoy thinking about it every chance we get! We want to enjoy exploring the area with Google image searches. We want to research fun places to stay, and activities we might enjoy and imagine ourselves being there. We want to savor the trip long before it begins!
Equally, we can savor the trip long after it ends. The moments that brought the greatest joy can be brought back to enjoy and appreciate until the day we die, if we invite them in to lift our hearts and delight us again. We want to milk those special moments for all the pleasure, all the upliftment we can get.
If we have a goal to drop some excess weight, I invite us to celebrate every step in that direction. Make a different choice for breakfast? Do a happy dance! Stick to our food plan for the day? Celebrate! Did we slow down to be present with our meals? That’s a HUGE win! Woo hoo!
Why wait to celebrate once the whole goal is reached, when we have the opportunity to create MORE success by acknowledging and celebrating every decision in service of that goal? When we applaud every step we make in that direction, Life brings us more success to applaud.
When we slow down to appreciate the roses, we get more roses.
Grow on!
In what ways do you celebrate success? What milestones are you ready to celebrate?
There is no one right answer that fits every body. There is no food plan that is perfect for every human, no exercise prescription that suits every life, no one plan that will create the a healthy body/life for every person. That’s why we can’t just read a book, follow all the guidelines, and create our body in whatever image we deem perfection. If there were one right way to transform our body, that “way” would have been discovered and marketed for zillions.
There are billions of dollars being made annually by diet systems, workout plans, and nutritional supplements, but have you noticed how different they all are? Some say eat large amounts of protein, some dictate no protein at all. Other diets are non-fat, while still others include healthy fats at every meal. Some are effective for some people. All of them claim to be the magic bean – the one system that works miracles.
While it’s true that many of these methods may be effective for some – at least short term – how do we know which one works for us?
If you feel confused or frustrated around this topic, it’s with good reason!
What should I eat? What exercise should I do?
These questions have been documented and debated to death for decades. It’s no wonder so many people are confused about what works and what is hype!
So how do we do what is best for our health and our body? If I have a goal to transform my body in some way, what is the best approach for me?
There is only one authority on your body and your health: YOUR Body.
If we ask the body what it needs and then listen, our body will clearly tell us what is beneficial and nourishing, and what is not.
This is a super simple technique, but it requires slowing down and being present. In our fast-paced society where time is in short supply, we rarely do that. But if you are telling me that some kind of transformation is your goal, slowing down and being present will allow you to find your way. YOUR way, the way that most benefits you.
The path to the healthy body you desire will not be found in books, but in slowing down and really listening to what your body says. This takes practice, and patience, and time.
Elimination Diet –
The elimination diet is one of the BEST ways to help people find out what is, or is not, working for their health and their body. An elimination diet is NOT a diet meant to sustain us for life. It is meant to be used over a few weeks to discover which foods we eat regularly are not serving our health.
The main thing I want to tell you is that NOTHING IS FOREVER. Many people won’t try the elimination diet because they fear they will find out they are allergic to a food they love, and will have to give it up forever.
Nothing is forever. This is just an experiment to see how different foods nourish or deplete the body. Even if you discover that you are allergic to something, you don’t have to give it up! That’s a choice you get to make. We make better choices when we are informed, so this is simply a way to gather information.
Think of the elimination diet as a playful experiment to uncover valuable treasure. In this case, the treasure is information that allows us to make choices to improve our health and transform our body. There are myriad reasons one may wish to undertake a playful experiment with the elimination diet. Many kinds of digestive complaints are eradicated with an elimination diet. Many people release all kinds of other issues including skin problems, headaches, chronic fatigue, fibromyalgia, sleep issues, low energy, brain fog, and more! Many people accept these issues as a normal part of life, when they may actually be caused by something we are eating regularly. If you suffer with any of these, wouldn’t it be AWESOME to be able to stop the suffering?
The elimination diet is a very simple basic experiment that anyone can try without paying a dime. Since it’s not profitable, we don’t hear about it. It doesn’t have an advertising budget. The elimination diet provides specific answers right for YOU. Then, armed with body wisdom, you get to choose.
I will briefly discuss each step below, but I attach a PDF HERE from the University of Wisconsin Integrative Medicine that explains the details fully.
Grow on!
Explore which foods enhance your life, and which foods are depleting your energy.
Step 1 – Planning • Decide which foods to avoid, which to include. Ask yourself a few key questions: – What foods do I eat most often? – What foods do I crave? – What foods do I eat to “feel better”? – What foods would I have trouble giving up? – What foods have I noticed symptoms of irritation when I eat them? (Runny nose, burning sinus, upset digestion, low energy, headache, etc.) • Make a list of the foods from your answers above, and any from the list below that your health care practitioner advises: Foods problematic for many people: Dairy Gluten Soy Corn Eggs Peanuts Tree nuts Citrus Shellfish
The list you just made is your list of foods to avoid for 2 weeks. • Now make a list of foods you CAN include!
Step 2 – Avoiding Enjoy eating from the “Eat this” list. Avoid foods on your “avoid this” list • For 2 weeks, avoid the foods that may be causing issues. Many people notice health symptoms improve in the first few days.
Step 3 – Challenging • If your symptoms have not improved in two weeks, stop the diet and talk with your health care practitioner about whether or not to try it again with a different combination of foods.
• If your symptoms improve, start “challenging” your body with the eliminated foods, one food group at a time. As you do this, keep a written record of your symptoms.
To challenge your body, add a new food group every three days. It takes three days to be sure that your symptoms have time to come back if they are going to.
Step 4 – Choosing • Based on your results, choose which foods you want to continue eating, which foods to let go, and which foods you want to eat in smaller amounts.
If you would like further guidance in creating a sustainable way of eating, and a happy relationship with food and body, please, schedule a free 30-minute chat HERE to see if I’m the right Mind Body Eating Coach for you!
Most of us know that when we look good, we tend to feel good. But are you aware that the opposite is also true?
When we feel good, we look good.
Think about a time when you felt really great about yourself. How much more comfortable were you in your own skin? How powerful and confident did you feel? When we feel accomplished, triumphant, successful, truly loved, filled with purpose – of course we look better. Our body chemistry is completely different than when we feel confused, failed, unloved, directionless, or under attack.
It is common in this world, I have noticed, for people who are reaching for a weight-loss goal to try to reach that goal by forcing, harassing, restricting, stressing, pushing, and hating themselves.
It is also common to decide that the body is not right by societal standards, so it must not be liked, in fact it must be hated. We feel we must hate the body into submission, hate our eating issues for making us fat, hate food for being so fattening and delicious at the same time, hate our appetite, flog ourselves at the gym until we finally reach a weight where we will feel better about ourselves, or just give up entirely and eat for solace because we are so damned imperfect.
If any of this resonates for you, you’re not alone!
Somehow this crazy world has conditioned us (brainwashed us through media propaganda, and advertising campaigns designed to sell a magic fix for bodies that are not right by societal standards) to believe that we must hate ourselves until we reach their standards. To which I feel compelled to reply:
Fuck. Their. Fucking. Standards.
I invite you to join me in saying, “Fuck their standards.”
If they don’t like my body, FUCK them. Because you know what I decided to do? I decided to approve of my body right now. I decided that their standards are fucking stupid, and they do not appeal to me, so they do not apply to me because I am the authority on what is fucking beautiful in my life.
Why? Cause it’s my life.
Their judgements only count if I give them validity and I just revoked their right to decide anything for me. I choose to decide for myself. I invite each of you to step into your own power and decide for your self what is beautiful in your life, because who the fuck are THEY anyway? Who are they to judge ME unworthy?
I am a child of God, a conduit of Divine love and light, and I will not dim my light to allow them to feel comfortable in my presence!
They want me to feel diminished, unworthy, and powerless so that they can grow rich and feel better about themselves. Fuck that! And while we’re at it, fuck the collective ‘them’ who believes they are anyone’s authority on what is good and right and beautiful.
If we feel more beautiful when we are feeling truly loved, then what POWER we wield when we choose to truly love ourselves as we are, without waiting for the approval of others.
I choose to feel my true divinity flowing through me. I choose to feel confident and powerful. And every time I feel the Divine Truth of Who I am, I look fucking amazing.
photo by donnio, on a day when i felt GREAT and it shows.
Grow on!
What is stopping you from feeling good about you NOW?
What baby steps can you take toward loving yourself more now?
What kind of example do you want to set for your children and grandchildren?
Each time you become aware that negative self-talk arises, what can you say to remind yourself to move gently back in the direction of self-love?
Remember last week’s blog post when I talked about stress, the effects of stress on our body, and the difference between life stress and self-chosen stress?
This week I want to talk about one self-chosen stressor in particular. It’s insidious in our culture, and most of us are not even aware that it is a stressor!
Are you a fast eater, a slow eater, or a moderately paced eater?
Ninety percent of people asked this question answered, “fast”. And guess what? Human biology interprets eating fast as being stressed.
Remember, we saw that constant low-level stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposits at midsection
increased inflammation
gut microbiome die off
nutrient wasting
decreased energy
appetite deregulation
desensitivity to pleasure
decreased metabolism
decreased Thyroid function
decreased oxygen uptake
poor sleep
Imagine how this affects us if we have a weight challenge, or body transformation goal! Even if we are not pursuing a food and body goal, none of these optimizes our health. It makes complete sense that we want to reduce stress whenever possible.
If you answered that you are a “fast” or even “moderately paced” eater, then you have now identified a stressor that you can choose to get rid of! Reducing stress always has positive benefits, so why wouldn’t we put some effort into slowing down with our food?
The main reason is because eating fast is a habit.
Generally, until someone asks us this question, we never even consider our eating speed. In fact part of the problem is that many of us never even consider our food!
We may skip breakfast or grab a pastry at the coffee shop, then eat lunch at the desk or running between clients, then grab some take out on the way home for dinner. If any of these behaviors sound familiar, then you have a golden opportunity to release some of the stress that you carry!
(Slowing down with food is also a first step in releasing patterns of bingeing, after-dinner eating, and overeating.)
If you are interested in trying to break the habit of eating fast, you have much to gain! So what do you have to lose (besides stress)?
Here are some other symptoms caused or exacerbated by fast eating which can also diminish or go away completely:
Eating fast is a habit. Eating more slowly requires some effort because we are creating a new habit, and new habits take time. This is NOT about counting bites. This is about relaxing with food and increasing pleasure! This is about enjoying our mealtimes and boosting happiness. This is about being present, becoming aware & listening to our body.
Fast eating is a habit.
Slow eating is a habit worth cultivating.
Grow on!
If you want to release the stress of fast eating, start by coming to your meals in as relaxed a state as you can. Try to eat somewhere quiet when possible, or at the very least not in an environment that feels stressful. Don’t watch the news, and incorporate some music that relaxes you if that appeals to you.
Before you begin to eat, take two or three grounding breaths. Allow your heart rate to calm, then turn your attention to your meal. Be present with your food. Savor the flavor. Explore the textures on your tongue. Really enjoy the relaxed time with your food. Food is meant to be a satisfying pleasure.
If you are eating food you do not enjoy, ask yourself, “why?”. Food is meant to nourish body, mind and spirit, and we absorb far more nourishment from food we enjoy than from food we do not enjoy.
If you generally take 5 minutes for your meal, try to make it last 10 or 15 minutes. If you generally eat in 15 minutes, try to stretch that out to half an hour.
I hear you!
Life is busy. Sometimes, unfortunately, we might actually have only five minutes to eat. We can still approach our meal in a more relaxed and calm manner. If you truly only have a short time, make that time count. Breathe deeply and relax. Taste what you are eating. Be present to the flavor and texture.
Enjoy!
Find lots more information on the benefits of slowing down when we eat in this fabulous book by Marc David, the founder for the Institute for the Psychology of Eating.
The dictionary says stress is a state of mental or emotional tension resulting from adverse or very demanding circumstances.
The dictionary is wrong. How do I know? Because stress is a feeling – an emotion – and the only place our emotions come from is from the thoughts we think.
Adverse or very demanding circumstances will absolutely cause some people to think thoughts that lead to feeling stressed. Those exact same adverse or very demanding circumstances will cause others to think thoughts that lead to feeling exhilarated.
Since this is absolutely true, we want to select our thoughts with great care and intention.
Self-chosen stress vs normal, natural stress.
What is a “normal” or natural life stress? These are stressors that we cannot control, like aging, health concerns, natural disasters, financial setbacks. Those kinds of stress show up in every life, and Google can offer myriad advice on how to handle them. I want to talk about optional stress – the stress we choose that is completely unnecessary – yet is often MORE damaging to our health and peace of mind than natural stress.
Self-chosen stressors include, but are not limited to:
negative self-talk
self body shaming & body hate
adopting weight loss strategies that are stringent & impossible to maintain
artificially controlling appetite
limiting a needed macronutrient such as protein, fat, or carbohydrates
believing we are unlovable, and will never be loved unless we lose weight or look different
trying to create an impossible-to-have body
unfavorably comparing oneself to others
believing we are alone in this world, or that the universe is against us
The list goes on, and is different for each of us. When we choose these stressors, we live under a constantly higher level of stress than is necessary.
Most of us have plenty of natural stress in life, so why would we choose this type of self-harming thinking? We have been conditioned over a lifetime to choose these stressors. We didn’t make this stuff up. We didn’t invent thinking negative thoughts about ourselves. The world we live in trained that behavior into us, some more than others.
Other than the fact that stress feels crappy, why do we want to begin learning how to let go of these self-chosen stressors? Constant stress causes increased insulin, and increased cortisol which can lead to:
weight gain
inability to lose weight
inability to build muscle
decreased calorie burning
increased fat deposits at midsection
increased inflammation
gut microbiome die off
nutrient wasting
decreased energy
appetite deregulation
desensitivity to pleasure
decreased metabolism
decreased Thyroid function
decreased oxygen uptake
poor sleep
So how do we begin to let go of these self-chosen stressors?
Awareness is always the first step. We cannot change it if we do not see it.
The Grow on! section below includes a way to begin cultivating more awareness around self-chosen stress.
Don’t beat yourself up for thinking stressful thoughts! It’s a conditioned human behavior. Give yourself some grace, practice letting go of self-chosen stressors, and see what happens for yourself!
Grow on!
How does stress show up in your body? Write a physical description of how it feels when you are STRESSED about something. For some people it will include sweaty palms, or a racing heart. For others it might feel like a twist in the solar plexus or a kick in the gut. Whatever it is for you, take a minute to describe the physical sensations that arise for you when you feel stressed out.
Practice awareness by noticing these physical symptoms each time they show up. As you become aware that you are feeling your symptoms of stress – ask yourself what thought you were thinking that caused the symptoms. Then ask yourself if it is a life stress, or a self-chosen stress.
If it is something you are choosing to think/believe, what will it take to give self permission to let it go?
Reframing thoughts is a superpower that grows with coaching!
If you are ready to let go of some of your self-chosen stress and need some help or guidance, I would love to chat with you! Click THIS LINK to schedule a free conversation to see if I am the right coach for you!
Have you ever told your best friend that she looked fat in her outfit, or that she needs to drop a few pounds? Have you ever looked your best friend in the eye and told her she should be ashamed of her body or her weight? No?
Then why the fuck would you do it to You?
Have you ever looked at an infant with her chubby knees and thought, “I just can’t love someone with all that fat!” I seriously doubt it.
So why do we withhold love from ourselves, or shame ourselves for fat on our body? Why would we hold ourselves to a higher standard of perfection? How possible is it to love ourself the way we love our friends?
Hate does not help. Hate does not motivate. Hate does not inspire.
If we perceive that someone does not like us, we often feel wounded, or hurt. It is no less painful when the disapproval comes from self! Disapproval of self can damage the psyche, delay healing, and derail our goals.
We cannot hate ourselves into loving our body, and as a wise client recently reminded me, we cannot heal what we hate. If we live in a home we hate, how much effort will we put into repairing it? Same goes for our body! If we have a body transformation goal, how much effort are we willing to put in if we constantly tell ourselves the body is unlovable as it is, and needs to be fixed?
Next time you look at yourself appraisingly, give yourself as much love and support as you would give your best friend! Next time you get a little off track with your plan, or goals, try gently encouraging yourself back on track rather than belittling or berating yourself for a perfectly normal human moment.
Perfection is a damaging illusion, a standard to which we rarely hold others, yet frequently try to hold ourselves. Our body transformation goals cannot manifest when we are under attack.
What will it take to treat you like your own best friend?
Grow on!
Practice looking in the mirror and telling that beautiful human how MUCH you love them. This is challenging for many people, so don’t give up. Persist with the practice of telling you that you love you, more often than you tell yourself negative messages.
Next time you catch yourself saying something mean to self, pretend you caught yourself saying it to your friend, or your child. What would you do? I might hug them and apologize and promise to be more intentional as often as possible moving forward.
Make a list of everything that you appreciate about your body! Our body is a miracle that we often take for granted. We can be so grateful for our lungs that breathe without any effort, a heart that beats for our lifetime, and so much more! We cannot focus appreciation and disgust onto the same object at the same time, so keeping this list handy can help when we are feeling frustrated with our body in some way.
