I follow Tosha Silver, author & astrologer. Recently I heard her say that during this time of Pluto transit, we are being forced to look at what hasn’t been looked at. Individually and collectively we must burn away what needs to burn. We are each facing our shadow. This country is facing it’s shadow. What no longer works must collapse during a Pluto transit.
Given what is happening right now in our country and our world, even those least inclined to astrology would have to say that seems pretty spot on. We can feel the energy of it!
Our world is in the midst of change. The change is a microscope, bringing our world into sharper focus so we can see what truly serves us, and what we need to release to create improved versions of ourselves and our world.
Awareness is the first step.
If we are going to give birth to more beautiful versions of ourselves and our world, then we must LOOK at what we have not been willing to look at. Now is the time to look. Now is the time to listen. Because to create our most beautiful life, our next more beautiful world, we want to take an accounting of what will grow with us, and what we must now burn away. If we refuse to look at the darkness within our lives (self-loathing, shame, masked emotions) or within the structures of our society (systemic racism), it will destroy us from within like a cancer.
Allow what needs to go go. Allow space for what you want to receive..
So many of my clients and friends are going through this right now! We are clearing out closets, emptying attics, and organizing garages. We are taking classes, hiring coaches, and deepening practices. We are getting rid of what no longer serves us, and weighs us down.
Our country is also taking a deeper look at what must collapse, or be burned away. The systemic racism, and militarized police forces that have emerged from it do not protect, nor serve us. It must now be removed so that we can ALL grow into our full potential.
To refuse to look at what needs to be looked at, to deny what we see, or to choose to resist the changes that will heal us, is about as beneficial as resisting labor pains.
We cannot give birth to ourselves anew if we resist the pain of giving birth.
The astrology is demanding rebirth.
Grow on!
What needs to go? What shadow have you been unwilling to look at? How ready do you feel to root it out to make space for something you desire? Are you in a space of personal reflection and change? Are you in a space of societal reflection and change? What obstacles might arise on your path of growth? What strategies will you use to overcome those obstacles? If you’ve been trying to make a change for awhile now, what will you try differently?
A butterfly’s transformation seems magical! They arrive in the world as a caterpillar, they gorge themselves, snuggle up in a warm blanket for a nap and – TA DA! – emerge as a lithe creature of grace and great beauty. Spectacular!
They make it look so easy. Many of us dream of transforming our lives so magically. If we could just go to sleep, then awake in the life we dream of living, spread our wings, and take flight without effort!
But how effortless is that transformation, really?
The chrysalis stage looks passive, as if the caterpillar falls asleep, then wakes up beautiful. But looks can be deceptive. The caterpillar doesn’t just grow wings and fly. The wing bits already exist inside the caterpillar’s body, and to reveal them, the caterpillar digests itself, releasing enzymes to dissolve all of its tissues.
For a time, inside the chrysalis, nothing exists except caterpillar soup, an untidy mess, mostly without organization or form. From this chaos, the Universe guides the cells to reorganize, until eventually the soft, wet butterfly is ready to awaken, and emerge into it’s new life.
Credit: pixabay
The chrysalis does not simply pop open to let the butterfly take flight. The weak, fragile creature inside is not strong enough to survive, let alone take flight. So, after surviving the complete destruction of what it previously was, the new butterfly must now struggle to gain strength and confidence in order to give birth to it’s true potential and fly.
Let the Butterfly Struggle
At this stage, when the butterfly is struggling to leave the outdated chrysalis behind, observers might be tempted to help the creature, in their excitement to observe what they know will be a wondrous beauty. But we need to trust the process. The process can be painfully slow sometimes, but to release it before it’s ready is to weaken the muscles it needs to develop if it’s ever going to take flight. The butterfly must struggle to release itself from the chrysalis in order to strengthen it’s wings and fulfill it’s potential.
We are all butterflies!
In order to live our fullest potential, we must intentionally dissolve the parts of ourselves that are outdated, or no longer beneficial, while integrating the wisdom we gained from them, in order to give birth to a more beautiful version of ourselves. This process takes courage and it takes faith.
In darkness I must un-become everything that I am so I may become what I am meant to be.
Without struggles to strengthen our wings (faith) we never gain confidence to fly. Butterflies who cannot fly are not living their potential, and die without having fulfilled it.
Let your children be butterflies!
We must let our kids struggle. If we bend over backwards to make sure they don’t fail, we’re not setting them up to succeed. If we take away their chance to struggle, they have no way to grow confident, and can become worried, anxious and self-doubtful. They may even attempt to find their own path, but when they see us jump in at the first sign of struggle, they get the message that even their parents don’t trust them, that struggle is “bad” and something to be avoided always, rather than a normal part of human life from which we learn and grow.
They see us not trust them to try. They see us not trust them to overcome adversity. They begin to see themselves as incapable. Letting them struggle is not harsh or cruel, it shows faith in the process. It empowers them and strengthens their confidence.
Knowing our parents will support us no matter what is comforting. Knowing we can succeed on our own and triumph over adversity is crucial. Wanting to protect our children from harm is normal! Choosing to protect them from struggle diminishes their chances of fulfilling their potential.
A parent’s job is not to prevent children from failing. A parent’s job is to be there for them when things don’t turn out as they had hoped, show them how to find the learning opportunity, and to use that wisdom to grow forward and inform future choices.
In Glennon Doyle’s new book, Untamed, she says, “I am here to keep becoming truer, more beautiful versions of myself again and again forever.”
This resonates so deeply for me!
In order to do this, we must trust the process of transformation. Everything we need to become our next more beautiful version is inside us now, like the caterpillar’s future wings.
Our job, like the caterpillar, is to dissolve the parts of ourselves, our community, our culture, that no longer serve us, reveal our individual and collective divine beauty, step into our full potential, and fucking fly.
Grow on!
What aspect of yourself have you been holding onto that no longer serves your wellbeing? How willing are you to allow that aspect to dissolve now? How will you transform that energy? What will you use that energy to manifest? What’s holding you back?
Does self-care seem indulgent or selfish right now?
Do you feel like you can’t take a break, ask yourself what you need, and then give that to yourself? Does thinking of your own needs NOW make you a bad person? No! No it does not.
Most of us are feeling rage, or fear, or sadness, or shock or all of the above about the events happening in our world. These emotions are catabolic and drain our energy. They increase our stress levels, release cortisol that depletes our adrenals, and exhaust our physical apparatus. How much good can we do if we show up to protest feeling hungry, tired, or overwhelmed?
Self-care is NOT indulgent. Self care is CRUCIAL if you expect to help, uplift, or protect anyone – especially yourself!
The world NEEDS all of it’s warrior spirits right now!
The time is here to stand up for what you believe in – which is altogether DIFFERENT than pushing against what you do not want – and you cannot stand for something if you are too exhausted to stand!
PLEASE do whatever you feel called to do, whatever you feel capable of doing to support our brothers and sisters of color, but please remember to take care of you first. You will be a far more effective ally if your energy is fully engaged.
You are as deserving of love and care as the people you want to support and uplift. And you will be a far more effective advocate for change if you feel positive and powerful instead of drug-out or depleted.
▪ Learn to say “no.” ▪ Develop a relaxing evening ritual. ▪ Allow yourself to feel and express all of your emotions ▪ Bring you into the present moment. ▪ Create art as a form of anxiety and/or stress release. ▪ Remind yourself of the good stuff in life by writing a gratitude list. ▪ Stop being your harshest critic. Allow yourself to make mistakes. ▪ Do some stretching exercises. ▪ Take a walk. ▪ Drink more water. ▪ Go out and spend 10 minutes under the sun. ▪ Go for a bike ride to nowhere in particular. ▪ Spend time in nature. ▪ Go to bed early. ▪ Avoid toxic people. ▪ Ask for help. Let people know you need some help. ▪ Call a trusted friend or family member and talk things out. ▪ Schedule a date night with yourself. ▪ Limit the time you spend on news/social media. ▪ Make time for meditation. ▪ Do a body scan, and check in with each part of your body. ▪ Do something nice for someone in secret. ▪ Donate money to a charity of your choosing. ▪ Spend time intentionally raising your vibration.
Pick ones that appeal to you. Support & strengthen yourself first. Then get out there and do whatever your spirit is being called to do!
I am offering two free coaching sessions to anyone wanting coaching right now! Coaching is what I am good at, and it’s what I can do to help after I recharge my own batteries! Please email me if you would like some help being at your best during challenging times!
It’s no secret that I am a HUGE fan of Jill Lebeau MFT, spiritual psychotherapist, and author. Jill has now paired with Amit West, Heartpath Guide and Intuitive to create a podcast that will launch this summer!
I got excited as soon as I heard about it, and am SUPER excited now because they have pre-released two special episodes to help us navigate this time of rebalancing that we are all experiencing.
Jill and Amit invite us to tune in to raise our vibe, get inspired, and hear about the new way to live our greatest potential! They deliver spectacularly on all three promises.
After I listened to Grounding through the Groundlessness, I felt such inspiration, such enthusiasm for life, such hopefulness, such a tremendous upward shift in my vibration! I’m usually pretty high vibe anyway, but their podcast left me breathless and excited.
They invite us to rise up and use this time to create a better world within ourselves. As within, so without.
The thing I like MOST about this podcast, and I love all of it to bits, is the way they highlight the importance of a daily practice, to connect to our inner light, the Source of our strength and balance. When we feel out of balance, the counterbalance comes from cultivating a practice that steeps us in high vibe energy.
Clients ask me ALL the time, “What can I do to maintain my balance during upheaval?” And my answer is always the same. Practice daily.
I always maintain a list of fabulous fucking resources for my clients. When I find some great uplifting resource, I blog about it and add it to my list. This podcast is going right to the top of my list!
If you are struggling a bit right now, you need to hear this podcast. If you are struggling a LOT right now, you need to hear this podcast. If you are flying high and enjoying life right now, you need to hear this podcast!
I kept my post super short this week, so you have time to tune in to Jill and Amit, raise your vibe, get inspired, and hear about the new way to live your greatest potential!
Be present. We hear this term everywhere it seems, but what does it mean to “be present”? Why is it so important?
Being present seems like a simple concept. We are physically present wherever we stand. But we’re talking about being mentally and emotionally in the here and now. That’s a little trickier for most of us.
Humans spend a vast amount of our time reflecting on the past or wondering about the future. If we’re reveling in a wonderful memory, or excited about an upcoming occasion, then that tiny bit of time travel is beneficial, lifts our spirits, raises our vibration, and attracts MORE of the same kind of energy to us.
However, most of the time when we focus on the past, we focus on memories that bring guilt, regret, shame, or embarrassment. And often when we focus on our future, it’s the unknown we focus on which brings emotions like worry, anxiety, or doubt, which benefit no one. It drains our energy, lowers our vibration, and attracts MORE of the same kind of energy to us!
When we are focused fully in the present moment, we cannot simultaneously experience guilt, regret, shame, embarrassment, worry, anxiety, or doubt. Since all of these emotions are energy drains, it stands to reason that we have more energy when we are fully present. The gifts of being present are absence of negative emotions, and having more energy to spend on what’s important to you.
Now is powerful.
We cannot take action from the past, nor from the future. The only place we have to act is now. Clients often tell me they can’t seem to get anything done, but they come to realize that they are often not being present, and are therefore unavailable to take action. We lose a lot of time being in the past or future, instead of taking action in our powerful NOW.
So, how do we be here now?
Here’s a simple exercise that can easily guide you to the present moment when you find yourself wandering in time.
Take a deep cleansing breath. (Hell, take two or three, they’re FREE!) One at a time, take stock of your five basic senses. Sitting quietly, note just one or two things that you can sense with each.
Here are my examples for this moment in time:
Smell – I smell jasmine flowers and coffee. Taste – I taste toothpaste. Touch – I feel the chair beneath me, and the floor under my feet. Hearing – I hear a clock ticking. Sight – I see sunlight streaming in the window, and the dog lying in the sun.
Notice how the exercise immediately brings you into the now.
Whenever you catch yourself in your head living from the past or into the future in a way that is not beneficial, you can instantly improve how you feel by checking in with your five senses and being present in the moment.
Grow on!
How often are you in the present moment? What have you been missing while not being present? What will change for you when you are more present? What difference do you notice in your tension/stress levels before and after the above exercise?
Humans are energy. Our bodies are energy systems. We are literally made out of flowing energy! Often when I introduce this concept to clients, they ask questions like, “Well if I am made of energy, why am I so TIRED all the time?” That’s a GREAT question that really gets to the root of how I help my clients with energy coaching!
There are two types of energy available to us: Catabolic & Anabolic.
Catabolic Energy ~
Catabolic energy is destructive, draining, and stressful on our bodies, our emotions, and our mental capacity. Catabolic energy is crucial in life-threatening situations because it’s the energy that allows us to fight, flee, or freeze. Catabolic emotions include guilt, shame, fear, anxiety, worry, hostility, resentment, frustration, loathing, condemnation, blame, and judgment, to name a few. Catabolic emotions feel hard, and challenging. They create stress hormones that deplete us of energy, lower our immune system, and impede the optimal function of our mind and body.
Anabolic Energy ~
Anabolic energy is constructive, healing, fueling, and growth-oriented. Anabolic energy strengthens and energizes us with long-term use. Anabolic energy includes emotions such as love, forgiveness, compassion, peace, joy, passion, and so many more. Anabolic emotions feel good. They cause our brain to create feel-good hormones, and they naturally promote healing, and wellbeing.
We have Seven Levels of Energy Available
According to Bruce Schneider,* there are seven levels of energy presentation, each made up of varying degrees of catabolic and anabolic energies. In the chart below, we see that the highest levels of energy are anabolic and the lowest levels are catabolic.
Image courtesy of BSM Consulting
So while every energy level has both advantages and disadvantages, it correlates that the more time we spend in those higher vibrations, the more energy we have.
Nobody is just one energy level all the time. We each have a unique energy profile made up of all seven levels with primary and secondary levels that we choose to use most of the time under typical circumstances. It should come as no surprise that our energy profile changes under stress.
Energy Overview
Below is a brief look at the seven levels of energy, and possible thoughts that someone might be thinking about pandemic circumstances in each level. If you would like to learn more about these concepts, check out Bruce Schneider’s book, Energy Leadership, or contact an iPEC certified energy coach.
Energy Level 1 ~
This is the most catabolic energy level, so we end up with the least amount of energy left to “spend” on anything.
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – The economy will never recover! My finances are ruined! There is no way I can possibly come out better at the other end of this. I’m too old to start over again! How will I feed my family? What if I catch the virus?! What if someone I love dies? What if I do something wrong and someone I love dies because of me? What if they never find a cure? How will I possibly survive? My career is over. I’ve lost everything. Everything was going really well for me, and then the pandemic ruined everything I’ve worked for. Circumstances have crippled me. I’m trapped!
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – I am very aware of all that could go wrong and I have to be on guard against it. Why isn’t the government doing more? Why did they wait so long to act? Why don’t people act right and follow orders? Why should I follow orders? They are NOT going to tell me what to do. Why is this so hard? How can I profit from this? What’s in this for me? I’m doing everything I am supposed to and I’ll probably get sick because someone else didn’t do what they were supposed to! This is the government’s fault. This is China’s fault. Whose fault is this? What a shitty period of history to live. Fuck coronavirus!
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – I’m doing the best I can. I hope everyone will take care of themselves, I certainly am. I can find ways to get through this. I’m a survivor. I’ll be fine. Those in charge are doing the best they can. I can tolerate whatever is needed to get to the other side of this disaster. I’ll be fine. I’ll find a way to pull through. I can cope with anything.
Energy Level 4 ~
Core Emotions – compassion, caring, generosity, gratitude, love
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – What can I do to help? Who most needs my support? We must do everything we can to help people. We must work together to stop the virus. I must make people see how important this is! Why are they not taking every precaution? Why are they bucking the guidelines? I’m not bucking guidelines. We are all in this together! We can only get through this if we all do our part. Why isn’t the government doing more to support the most vulnerable? I can start a movement to help people! I feel so depleted.
Energy Level 5 ~
Core Emotions – peace, harmony, stability
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – What if the virus is here to help us? This is the perfect time to take some online classes and change careers. This is a great opportunity for each of us to examine where we are, and what we want to create next! How wonderful that we are finding innovative ways to work from home. This can lead to reduced traffic in the long run. It’s the perfect opportunity to identify weak spots in our systems, and create solutions to strengthen them. I can’t work where I was getting my income, so I am going to use my gifts to create other revenue streams. The pandemic slowed my momentum, so I will flow my momentum in a different direction. The overall impact of this will be abundantly beneficial for all of us.
Energy Level 6 ~
Core Emotions – joy, hope, eagerness
Possible Thoughts about the pandemic – I have been feeling so happy. What an incredible time to be alive! Restaurants are thriving doing more business in take out than they ever did with seated guests. People are leaving notes of gratitude for essential workers. People have more time to spend with their families. We’re finding more balance between careers and personal fulfillment. There is a sense of joy and camaraderie as I move through my day. People are happy and helping each other. It feels as if social distancing has brought us vibrationally closer to Source and to each other. There is good news everywhere of people making full recoveries, of companies innovating supply chains, and creating new ways to connect and work from home, of our environment healing, of our air and water becoming clearer. Countries once at trade war are now collaborating to ensure the flow of medical supplies. Researchers across the world are working together to create vaccines. I know that something wonderful is happening. Everything is working out for our highest good.
Energy Level 7 ~
We dip into this level of energy during meditation, and spiritual connection. For most of us, it’s a level where we recharge our batteries, not a permanent place from which to live.
Possible Thoughts do NOT include the pandemic – I am. We are. Everyone is. All is well.
Takeaway tip:
Try leaning into the thoughts for each energy level above. We can clearly feel the difference in vibration, the difference in emotion, the difference in energy that comes at each energy level. None of the levels is bad or good.Which one feels the way you want to feel?
Wondering how much of each level you currently embody?
sample ELI report
The Energy Leadership Index (ELI) assessment is a tool that measures our unique energy profile. Through a series of 84 questions, the ELI reveals the percentage of each of the energy levels you experience under “normal” circumstances, and also how your energy shows up under stress. Your Average Resonating Level of Energy (A.R.L.) represents your average energy presentation, under normal circumstances and under stress.
You can master your own energy and transform your life.
With the awareness and insights gained through the ELI & the ELI explanation session that follows, clients discover opportunities to align energy with their own goals, boost creativity, elevate communications, and increase overall satisfaction in any aspect of their lives.
Once a person identifies their personal energy drains, they can choose to make adjustments that allow them to overcome their blocks, reclaim that energy, and focus it on what’s really important to them. A study by the International Coach Federation shows that clients who apply this knowledge with the help of a certified professional coach begin to see sustainable transformations in health & wellness, relationships, confidence, finances, and more.
Source: International Coach Federation
Every change begins with awareness of what is. If you are interested in becoming aware of your current energy patterns, I would LOVE to chat with you! I can schedule your ELI assessment to get you started on your path toward a more energized life!
Higher levels of satisfaction await. Power, purpose, and passion await. More joy and fulfillment await. What are you waiting for?
Grow on!
What energy levels do you practice on a regular basis? What energy level feels best when you try it on? What will change for you when you master your energy? What changes will you create in your life when you master your energy?
*The Energy Leadership Index Assessment, seven levels of energy, and the Energetic Self Perception Chart were developed by Bruce Schneider, PHD. Bruce is the founder of the Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching where I received my life-altering coach training.
Has shoulding yourself into action EVER been effective?
Honestly? Most people find that feeling we “should” do something drains our energy, so it’s demotivating rather than motivating. Should-dos and must-dos weigh heavily on the shoulders and mind.
Should is “could” with shame attached, and shame is the very lowest vibration. No wonder “should” is so heavy!
Could means we are at choice. We could do something if we chose to do it. It’s a choice, an option, completely voluntary. Should suggests that we are somehow less-than if we choose not to do whatever we are shoulding ourselves to do.
When we have choices, we feel more empowered!
Should means we don’t have a choice, and nothing makes us feel more powerless. Simply shifting our thought from, “I should wash the dishes,” to “I want to wash the dishes so the kitchen will be tidy,” can be immensely energizing.
I’m not talking rainbows and lollypops. I’m talking about creating new thought pathways that cause less stress in our lives. Less stress means less cortisol and less disease, so it’s worth the effort! And finding ways to reframe your thoughts can be fun, and creative.
Grow on!
Catching your ‘shoulds’ is the first step. Listen for them when you speak and think. When you catch yourself, stop and ask:
Why do I believe I should? What is the worst that will happen if I don’t? Can I live with that? How can I reframe it so that I am choosing to do this? What’s the most positive aspect about choosing to do this? How can I make this fun?
having trouble reframing a ‘should’ statement? drop it in the comments and I’ll help you brainstorm some ideas, so you can take back your power!
I have been receiving massage on a regular basis for the last decade and a half. Once a week I give my body a break from EVERYTHING. I put myself face down on some lucky therapist’s table and I just release every bit of tension I can release. It’s like a rebirth for my energy. Blood, oxygen, and chi all begin to flow where they may have been stuck.
I learned a long time ago that not only do I release the tension my muscles are holding during massage, but my muscles remember how to release, so they actually accumulate less stress between massages.
But here in pandemic world, LOTS of perceived stress to go around and NO massages! So what can we do to release stress?
Give yourself a fucking break!
Often we are so busy that massage time is the ONLY time we allow ourselves to relax. Maybe you look forward to some down time during your regular pedicure. I remember being so busy when my kids were little, that I looked forward to doctors appointments because I usually got a solid 10 or 15 minutes in the wait room where I could just sit!
If you can’t schedule a massage, a pedi, or spend 15 minutes just waiting in a doctor’s office, when are you scheduling rest breaks? Most of us just aren’t!
It’s like we think we have to “do” something on order to relax. What if we just relaxed? What if when we’re tired, we just lay down and take a nap?
Does going with the flow seem too radical?
Write a rest break right into your schedule.
It’s as important if not MORE important than anything else on your schedule.
I KNOW! You’re working from home, learning new tech, teaching your kids, walking the dog, and trying not to lose your mind. But if we were NOT sheltering at home and socially distancing, you would schedule that massage or that pedi, or that yoga class, right?
Set that hour aside for rest!
Pencil it right in where the massage or the pedi would go. Let anyone you live with know that you have an appointment to keep and then use that time to be quiet. Close your eyes and just rest. In bed is fine, or on a yoga mat. Put a bolster or pillow under your knees, and a slightly rolled towel under head and neck to support your relaxation.
Savasana is the “corpse pose” done at the end of a yoga class.
Make yourself as comfy as possible and just let it all go! Let go of the “have too” and the “must-dos” and all the rest of it, and just relax for 30 minutes.
If it’s possible to fall asleep, and you need to be up and doing something in the next segment of your day, set an alarm on your phone. Choose one that’s gentle, like birds chirping so it doesn’t jar you from the resting place, but rather invites you to open your eyes.
Humans rarely allow themselves time to become fully rested and most of us are often deprived of the right amount of sleep. But rest is essential to body, mind and spirit!
If you are hearing stories in your head that tell you that you don’t have time to rest, or you don’t deserve adequate relaxation, or self-care, coaching might be able to help!
In the most basic of terms, what I do as an energy coach is help clients remember how to release worry, anxiety, self-doubt, low energy and overwhelm.
If you or anyone you know is interested in uncovering what’s holding you back, and moving beyond where you’ve been able to grow before, please contact me at cyndicombs@gmail.com to set up a free phone session to see if coaching is right for you.
To understand detachment more fully Tosha Silver is a master teacher, and my sensei! Her most recent book, It’s Not Your Money, is about
releasing our attachment to money, freeing ourselves of fear around finances, and offering everything, not just money, to a Higher Power (Source, God/Goddess, Universe, Divine, whatever Higher Power you know).
What is detachment?
Maybe it’s easier to start with the question, “What is attachment?” We can all relate to this one. We know what it is to be attached to something, to deeply desire a particular outcome. We want something. We go after it with gusto. We do not get the outcome we were expecting, and we feel like the Universe is holding out on us, or we got cheated out of our prize. If we are in a long term relationship that suddenly ends, we may feel angry or depressed because we expected a different ending to the story.
If we are attached to something we cling to it. We try to force the outcome we want because we WANT it, and think that we can only be happy if it turns out the way we have imagined it.
We can think of attachment as a clenched fist trying with desperation to hang on to something slippery. We might manage to hold on, but the energy it costs can drain us entirely. So then, we can think of detachment as the gentle opening of that clenched fist.
Detachment is the release that causes relief. It’s the art of allowing, the act of surrendering to faith in the Universe.
The more we are able to release our attachment to a particular outcome, the more opportunities become available for the Universe to flow abundance to us. This doesn’t mean we can’t have preferences. I’m talking about being able to hold your preference while releasing attachment to the outcome.
Let’s say Sally wants a career shift that allows her more flexible hours, better benefits, increased income, and the opportunity to work with some wonderful people. If she becomes focused on one particular position as the answer to her prayers, she might miss other opportunities that are a better fit. If she is looking only at one possible outcome, she might not recognize the perfect thing when it pops up because it doesn’t resemble what she’s looking for.
On the other hand, if she is open to receive what she wants without demanding that the Universe deliver it in one particular way, the Universe will deliver by amazing and miraculous methods.
The Universe knows what we truly desire and will do everything in its power to deliver that to us as long as we don’t hamstring it into producing only what our own human mind can conjure. The Universe has infinitely more ideas for how to give us what we want than we could possibly dream!
If we believe that our only source of money is our current job, then the Universe can only deliver money to us through our current job. If that paycheck goes away, it’s understandably going to produce some fear because we don’t currently believe in any other source of income.
If, on the other hand, we trust that the Universe has more sources of money than we can imagine, and we believe that the Universe (Divine Source, or God) will supply our every need, now we open ourselves to miracles. Now the Universe delivers support in myriad ways, large and small, expected and unexpected.
If you are determined that your next salary MUST be X dollars, you close yourself off to both higher paying jobs, and positions that offer less money now, but are the springboard to your dream job.
Often times we do not move forward into the infinite abundance that the Universe is flowing to us because we have anchored ourselves to something from the past. If we are weighed down with guilt or shame from our own actions or the actions of others, we cannot receive all the gifts the Universe is wanting to deliver. This situation is like casting ourselves as the cartoon dog tied to his dog house. We find that what we desire is right in front of us, and we could easily reach it if what’s behind us weren’t holding us back.
How do we detach?
Some things, like income, feel pretty important to hang on to. So how do we begin to loosen our grasp and release our fear of the unknown?
Take a deep breath! Breathing is always my starting point. Taking a deep breath grounds me in the present moment where I am free of any guilt or shame from the past, and free from any worries about the future. When I am present, the past and future do not exist. So I always encourage my clients to start with a deep grounding breath or three.
Often I feel my physical body release tension with just this one simple step, as if my entire physical structure had been HOLDING ON to whatever I am currently grasping for. Then I open my hands (sometimes subconsciously they are clenched closed) and I offer the whole thing to intuition.
Intuition comes from Source Energy (God, Goddess, Inner Being, Higher Self, whatever Divine Source to which you adhere or relate), so offering my desire to Divine Self releases my small self (ego) from trying to run the show.
Here’s an example from my life.
Last Friday after meditation I opened my eyes and felt a new, full-blown desire erupt in my heart. “I want a puppy!” I heard my heart say to me. Since it was flush on the heels of quieting my mind, I accepted it as wisdom from Source, and I ran with that desire along the well-worn path of “How do I make this happen?” I am, after all, a make-it-happen kinda girl. For about 24 hours I chased after my puppy. I did the research. I contacted my vet for costs on puppy shots. I looked into fees at spay clinics. I Googled dachshund breeder websites, and dachshund rescue sites. It may have been the initial sticker shock that put a hitch in my vibration.
Nine years ago I purchased the world’s most adorable dachshund for $400. BEST money I ever spent! Captain Boscoe P. Jenkins is the joy of our lives.
Little boys have doubled in price since then, and girls are higher still! Which makes complete sense. What hasn’t increased in price in the last nine years? Add to that the fact that I started trying to figure out how Boscoe’s precious life will be impacted and suddenly I got hooked into trying to figure out HOW I was going to get my puppy.
I felt slightly frustrated and a little irritable because I know exactly what I want – a female dachshund less than 6 months old with short hair who adds as much joy to our lives as Boscoe does, whom Boscoe adores, adopts as his own, and enjoys playing with. And I feel in my heart that she is moving toward us. But trying to figure out HOW to get her, and WHERE she will come from, and HOW to afford adoption fees, and all the rest felt like my whole body was grasping, contracting in, pressing down on my heart, depriving me of blood & oxygen, and stopping the flow of my puppy moving toward me.
Then I laughed so loud!
In my excitement, I had completely forgotten to offer my puppy to Divine Order. After all, if the Universe wants me to have her (and I firmly believe the Universe does), Divine has already chosen the perfect puppy for us and will deliver her in the exact right way. It’s NOT my job to figure out the details. So I took a deep grounding breath and offered the situation to Divine Source. I said something like, “Divine Mother, I have a deep longing to have the joy of another puppy in our home. I know You have selected exactly the right puppy for our family and will deliver her with ease at the exact right time. I release my need to make this happen in my own way, and trust You to handle everything.”
My body unclenched, and my heart opened, and instantly I felt the joy of getting a new puppy again instead of the dread of not knowing how to get her!
You could rightfully point out that I am still attached to the idea of a female. The reason for that is Boscoe’s preference. He gets along much better with girls than with boys. Then again, I guess if there is a boy puppy out there that is perfect for Boscoe’s playmate, God will certainly know how to find him!
Do I have my puppy yet? No. But that’s only because it’s not the perfect time. I feel relaxed and comfortable waiting for Source to deliver in whatever way is best, because if I keep grasping and grabbing and forcing MY timing and MY will, I’ll likely end up with someone else’s puppy! She won’t be the perfect puppy already lined up to be Boscoe’s little sister. Offering it hasn’t instantly delivered the manifestation.
The gift in offering is that I can focus on what I want – the joy of a new puppy – and not all the unknowns that may cause stress and dis-ease.
Ironically it is only when we stop grasping for what we want that it is able to flow to us. We’re no longer blocking it from coming with our contracted energy.
How many stories have we heard of women who desperately want a child, who try every possible option to get pregnant, and go through painful fertility procedures, who end up feeling heartbroken if all of that effort doesn’t give them their child. It’s usually when she gives up and moves her attention to something else that she finds herself suddenly a mother to someone else’s child, or unexpectedly and delightedly pregnant herself.
The Lord works in mysterious ways. Truth is stranger than fiction. That’s because Source (your intuition) is Infinite Intelligence. Our limited human minds can’t think up a fraction of the possibilities available to Divine imagination! And it baffles our minds and drains our energy when we try.
Faith is a muscle.
Like any muscle, faith requires strengthening to perform optimally. As you begin to practice, don’t offer the BIG question that you have been struggling with the most. Your faith might not be strong enough yet. If you try to offer the BIG question without practicing on small stuff first, you may naturally revert to old thought patterns and decide it’s not working and give up. Practice on the small stuff first.
Practice offering by letting go. Try letting go of a disagreement with someone. As you realize you are about to correct them or their behavior, surrender it to Divine and just let it go. Remember, their behavior is not your responsibility, so just give it back to Source. You may well feel a huge burden lifted as you release this need to tell them how to act.
Let go of the worry of not knowing something you want to know. If you have a question about something that you can’t currently find the answer for, offer that to Source. You can offer anything and feel the sweet feeling of relief for not being responsible to figure it out. Trust that your intuition will guide you when action is required, and until then, just chill!
Tosha’s books are full of myriad prayers of offering for virtually every situation, and stories of how letting go and having faith delivered the perfect answer to one who had been striving, then let go and offered it up to a higher power. I highly recommend all her books for building the faith muscle and uplifting the spirit.
Grow on!
How would it feel to just let go and have faith that whatever you are currently going through is going to turn our for your highest good, and you have zero responsibility for figuring out how that’s going to happen?
How much energy would that free up for you? What in your life are you currently struggling to maintain control over? What’s it costing to cling to that? What will it take to release your grasp just a little? What will change for you when you do?
Bear with me! I realize how askew that sounds, so let me be clear.
I believe whole heartedly that everything has a purpose. Not just the stuff I like. Not just the positive experiences. Everything.
Since this is True, even Trump has a purpose, but if anyone is thinking his purpose is to course-correct the country, I would have to challenge that assumption. The current resident of the White House has proven he has neither the capability, nor the interest in doing so.
In my opinion, his role is to shine awareness on how broken our systems are, and I have to hand it to him for doing a bang up job in that department! The political system, the education system, the health care system, the financial system are all collapsing under the weight of this pandemic. (So much winning.)
So who plays the role that fixes this fucking mess?
Anyone who genuinely cares. (See why it can’t be trump?)
It’s our role to accept what is, and use the assets available to us to overcome limitations and consciously choose a better path forward, together.
It’s up to you and me to do what we can, where we can to improve what we can and help each other through this crisis.
It’s up to us to create new systems that support well being and quality of life for everyone.
It’s up to us to dream up systems where those who wield power do so for the highest good of all involved.
It’s up to us to imagine ways to make the world a better place to live for our children than it has ever been before.
DON’T ask yourself to solve what seem like the most enormous issues (unless you are one of the researchers who already has momentum in that arena). If we ask “Why is this happening to us?” or “Who can we blame?” we get very different answers than if we ask, “What can we learn from this?” or “How can we use this knowledge to grow forward?”
If we ask questions like these we feel powerless: How long will this last? Where will the answer come from? Who will die? Why doesn’t EVERYONE take this seriously? Why didn’t they tell us sooner? Why weren’t we prepared?
Ask yourself questions you already have answers for!
What emotions am I experiencing? What can I do today for my health? What helps me feel more connected while socially distancing myself? What can I do to boost my immune system today? What steps are within my control? What steps can I take to protect myself and my family? Name one time today that you felt ok. How can you do more of that? What brings you joy? What can you do to soothe yourself? What can you do to help your neighbors or family?
So, while the current resident in the White House has most likely played a role in increasing the death rate of this pandemic – a role in adding to the confusion & overwhelm, a role in the exponential spread of the virus despite his incapacity to understand the term “exponential growth,” a major role in making the problem way worse than it had to be – it is not going to be his role to fix the thing.
That’s going to fall to those of us who care.
If you need space to process your emotions and talk through what’s going on for you, contact me for a chat!
