EXCELLENT fucking reasons!

When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.

In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.

My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly. 

He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me.  I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.

After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.

Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?

The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.

I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.

I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.

That’s right. You heard me.

If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again! 

So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release. 

What can we do about this confusing challenge?

It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!

It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.

Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.

Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.

Somewhere to begin.

Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!

ABC Process

Awareness
Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.

Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:

Breathe
Take a nice deep grounding breath.

Choose 
Choose love.
Choose a voice who speaks gently to you.
Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.

Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.

It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up. 

When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!

Somewhere to practice.

Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing. 

If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.

Grow on!

Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.

Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.

Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!