What’s your why?
As a Mind Body Eating Coach, I see a fair amount of clients with weight-release goals. I always ask WHY they want to release weight. Why do they want to move more, or choose healthier food options?
Answers vary somewhat, but I’ve heard all of these:
To fit into old clothes.
So I won’t feel bad when I wear a swimsuit.
When I see myself in photos, I look fat.
To create relief from unwanted symptoms.
Trying to optimize health, improve lab tests.
Want to start dating again.
I’d like to feel happy about my body for once in my life.
I’m tired all the time, and I’d like to have more energy.
There’s a troll in my mirror.
Sustainable change requires a powerful reason.
Otherwise it’s SO much easier to just keep doing what we’ve been doing, and netting the same results. Let’s take a look at the above reasons to see which of them support powerful change.
Old clothes
This reason is sort of weak. It may be effective for a small amount of weight release, but it’s unlikely it will help us sustain that goal.
Go buy a new outfit! It’s fun, and it feels good to wear new clothes even if they’re ‘new’ from the thrift store.
Won’t feel bad in a swimsuit
This reason is burdened with the weight of shame. It’s 100% more likely to make us turn to food for comfort than to inspire us to take the actions required to release excess weight.
I look fat in photos
Not approving of the way we look is the number one reason women give when I ask why they want to lose weight. Think about what this statement actually says: “There is something WRONG with how I look. I need fixing. I am not worthy, and will not be worthy until my body looks different than it looks right now.”
We cannot judge ourselves unworthy and simultaneously feel inspired to take actions that align with our own healthy intentions. When we scold, or shame ourselves, why wouldn’t we turn to food for comfort?
Shame and unworthiness are emotions that DRIVE people to seek comfort through food. This thought is a powerful motivator to overeat, and has never helped ANYONE release weight.
Relieve unwanted symptoms.
This can be a powerful reason. When we understand that most unwanted symptoms are connected to the foods we eat, wanting to relieve those symptoms CAN be a very powerful motivator, especially once we start to see improvements.
Releasing foods that are making us sick and tired often leads to effortless weight release.
Optimize health, lab tests
Releasing foods that are making us sick and tired often leads to improved lab test results, and overall metabolism. Participants in
Relief through Release Playgroup have reported lowered triglycerides, improved A1c levels, and increased energy.
Seeing scientific proof (lab results) that our health is improving is a very powerful reason to create sustainable changes.
Start dating
If you want to attract love into your life, I invite you to begin by showering yourself with love. Energy attracts like energy. To attract someone who loves us just as we are, we must embody that energy. We must love ourselves truly and deeply to attract someone who loves us just as deeply.
If we attract from an energy of feeling unloved, or unworthy, we will either attract:
1) a partner who sees us as unworthy of love, or
2) someone who truly loves us but we doubt their love, or cannot fully accept their love.
I want to lose weight so I can feel happy about my body for once.
Think about what this statement actually says: “I cannot be happy, or have happiness, until I look different.” Therefore, the way I look is unacceptable or unloveable. If we are a person who eats when we feel bad, then judging ourselves unacceptable will DRIVE us to eat.
If you want to create self-acceptance and self-love, I invite you to begin by showering yourself with love. We cannot practice self-disapproval and magically arrive at a place where we love ourselves.
When we practice appreciation for the body we’re in, and the life that we have, we create that magical space where we can truly love ourselves, and attract more love in return.
Tired and want more energy
Feeling more energized is one of the most powerful reasons people STICK with healthy intentions. Releasing foods that are making us sick and tired leads to improved metabolism, better sleep quality, more energy, and better mood. All of these are powerful reasons to create sustainable changes!
Keeping a food log that includes notes about energy level is a GREAT way to track progress and remind us how far we’ve come!
There’s a troll in my mirror
This one’s mine.
I understand now that the troll was in my mind, but for years when I looked in the mirror, I despised what I saw there. I hated the way my body looked – so imperfect by swimsuit model standards. And more than that, I believed I was too stupid and under-educated to be worthy of love.
I wanted to lose weight so I wouldn’t be fat, but I wasn’t just judging myself overweight. The mantra in my head was, “I’m fat, stupid, ugly, and nobody loves me.” I was a troll. Unpopular. Plagued by self-doubt. Most likely to say the wrong thing, or make a social faux pas. I guess I thought that if I were thin, stupid and ugly someone might love me?
I was lucky. My broken record looped so frequently that I finally thought I might be losing my mind, so I found a therapist. That’s when I began to learn that when our thoughts feel shitty, we are free to choose different thoughts that feel better when we think them.
We don’t have to keep thinking a thought just because we have thought it for so long we believe it! We can change our thoughts and change what we believe to be true.
I didn’t choose the belief that I was too heavy, and not educated enough to be loved. That was something conditioned into me. It didn’t belong to me, so I rejected it, and chose to start believing that I am worthy, lovable, creative and intuitive.
When I wanted to lose weight because I was a fat troll, I never lost weight. I kept eating my shame and disappointment and I stayed heavy. My “why” weighed me down. So I created a more powerful reason to create sustainable change.
Why do I stay on plan?
I eat the way I eat not to release weight, but to maintain optimal health and energy. The foods I eat now are not just delicious, they’re full of nutrients that allow me to feel energized.
“There’s a troll in my mirror,” is only ever going to create emotions that drive me to eat comfort foods.
“I’m a powerful badass capable of choosing which foods go into my mouth to fuel my energized life,” creates emotions in me that drive actions in alignment with my healthy intentions. Go me!
Grow on!
What is your why?
Why do you want to achieve your goal?
Is that reason powerful enough to create the change you desire?
If not, I invite you to play with creating more powerful reasons.
How does THAT feel?
