I recently had a conversation with a client who was pondering the fact that death is the ultimate act of release. She wisely pointed out that some things are easier to release than others, and I am inspired by the way she is actively practicing letting go in different areas of life.
All humans have attachments. That’s completely normal. However the more attached we are, the more we fight to hold on to the thing we are attached to.
When we become truly attached to something, we will fight to keep it even when it damages our wellbeing. The thought of losing it creates distress and anxiety. For example, for the alcoholic, the thought of living without daily alcohol may cause panic, even if she is aware that the alcohol is damaging her health in many ways.
Some people remain in abusive relationships because they cannot imagine a life without the person who is abusing them. Some people choose to remain in extremely stressful jobs that cause health problems because they can’t imagine earning their big salary any other way. We can become attached to all kinds of beliefs that create fear and anxiety. (I’m not ‘whatever’ – smart, thin, rich, worthy, healthy, pretty, educated, experienced – enough.)
An infinite variety of manufactured foods deplete our energy and damage our health. These have been designed specifically to be addicting in order to drive up corporate profits. People often reach for these addictive foods to soothe themselves long after we realize the effect that food is having on our health. It’s hard to give up a food or an addiction that makes us feel better!
Habitual thoughts and behaviors can also limit our potential for optimum happiness and wellbeing. Judgement and self-criticism are two of the biggest limiting behaviors that humans develop by way of constant cultural conditioning.
Give it up!
I know it’s not easy to release something that is woven into the fabric of our lives! However, I invite you to begin playing with letting go of whatever it is that’s limiting you. If there is something you can’t imagine your life without, I encourage you to begin imagining your life without it.
Play with letting go of judgement and criticism and see how it feels. What happens to your energy? Your mood? Imagine doing the kind of job that leaves you happy and satisfied at the end of the day. What would that look like for you? I’m not asking you to figure out HOW to leave your crappy job and find a lucrative career you adore, I’m just inviting you to imagine that it is POSSIBLE.
Imagination is the first step of manifestation.
Practice letting go of anything that no longer serves you. If your food choices are not helping you manifest optimum health, practice letting go of some of those foods for awhile to see how you feel. You can always go back to those foods later if you want, but at least allow yourself to experience what it’s like to let them go for a few weeks. What’s the worst that could happen? You might feel better!
Do you HATE to work out, and prefer being sedentary? Imagine yourself deeply enjoying some FUN kind of movement that feels good to your body. I’m not asking you to go join a gym, I’m asking you to imagine yourself enjoying movement. I’m encouraging you to give up the idea that you hate moving your body. Play with some new ways to move that MIGHT feel good to you, and just IMAGINE doing them for awhile. Maybe you’ll get inspired to move. What’s the worst that could happen? You might really have fun!
When we play with letting go of anything that limits us, we can begin optimizing our health, wealth, and unlimited potential!
Grow on!
What’s holding you back? What habitual patterns would you love to release? What does it feel like when you imagine releasing them? What are you ready to release? What are you ready to IMAGINE yourself releasing? How will your life be different when you release that?
Need some help? If you want help releasing what’s holding you back, schedule a chat with me to see if coaching can help you move from where you are to where you’d LOVE to be!
I needed to make a quick stop at a grocery store. I only needed five or six items, but one of them is consistently difficult to find, so I chose to drive out of my way to a higher-end grocery store where they usually carry it. I was thrilled to see they had it in stock, and picked three of them off the shelf.
One of the other items I needed was grapes. I found what I wanted in the produce department, but when I looked at the price tag I nearly fell on the floor. $3.88 a pound for grapes seemed excessive even for this place. However, just below the extortionist price they were advertising in large print, was much smaller print saying the same grapes were available for $1.77 a pound if you have the electronic coupon.
I hate electronic coupons.
But to save over $2 a pound, I was willing to put in a little effort. While standing in the produce aisle I dutifully downloaded the store’s app, and attempted to create an account. However as soon as I entered my email, it told me that my address already has an account and asked me to enter my password. I didn’t even remember installing the app before, and I certainly didn’t remember whatever password was created for me at that time.
The app prompted me to check my email to get a new password. Now I realize that most people these days who have smartphones have their email available 24/7.
I am not one of those people.
I do not have access to my email on my smartphone. I don’t usually put apps on my smartphone other than Google maps.
You know what I do with my smartphone? I make phone calls.
By this time I was frustrated, and when I realized how long I had been standing in the produce aisle I also became irritated. I decided to take my purchase to the checkout, plead ignorance, and throw myself on the mercy of the kind cashier to give me the sale price.
The cashier was overly cheerful, and said she would ring up my order and send me down to see Sally Sue in customer service. I said, “but will I get the sale price on the grapes?”
She said, “I’m not going to charge you. I’m just going to ring everything up and give you the receipt and send you down to see Sally Sue and she’ll take care of everything.”
I was truly exasperated that the cashier didn’t just have a QR she could scan and give me the correct price! I mean, in the old days if I had forgotten to clip a coupon from the paper and bring it with me, they would have a copy of the newspaper sitting by the register so they could scan the sale price. However in today’s world where electronic communications make our lives so much easier and faster, they do not seem to possess that technology!
By the time I got down to customer service to see Sally Sue, I was running 20 minutes late. I was frustrated, irritated, and getting annoyed. My normally cheerful demeanor was wearing whisper thin.
I explained to Sally Sue what I had explained to the cashier. “You can’t give the sale price to just some of the people. It’s UNFAIR. When you have an advertised price, it’s for everyone, not just those with superior tech skills. It’s ageist, and discriminatory!” I added
I was feeling disenfranchised and disregarded, and I could feel my face getting hot. I know my voice had gotten louder because Sally Sue said, “Lower your voice please ma’am, I’m standing right here.”
That did not have the effect Sally Sue wanted it to have.
“I am frustrated! I am irritated! And now I feel embarrassed because you think I’m too stupid to use your app, and you top it off by making me jump through all these hoops that other shoppers don’t have to jump through. My voice is NOT going to be lowered right now because I am upset by your unfair policy and I want to register a complaint!”
In my peripheral vision, I could see the people in the self checkout lanes stopping to watch. As my voice rose louder, the shoppers split into two camps, those who turned away quickly, and those who couldn’t stop watching my train wreck.
Sally Sue gave me the discount on the grapes without asking me to lower my voice again.
I stormed out of the store nearly in tears I was so pissed off, got home called the store’s 800 number and registered an official complaint with the customer service department.
As CERTAIN as I was standing in that store demanding what I KNEW was right, the self-doubt monster creeped in and drained my energy even more than the encounter at the grocery store had done.
Maybe I shouldn’t have yelled at Sally Sue. Maybe I was “too much” again. I’ve often been told I can be too much.
I didn’t beat myself up over it, I just acknowledged that I had a very human moment. No harm no foul. I congratulated myself that I had somehow refrained from dropping any F-bombs, which if you know me at all, you realize was quite the fucking feat.
So, I didn’t beat me up over it, but I didn’t feel all that proud of me either. That is UNTIL I talked to my amazing coach, Jill Lebeau.
As it happened, I had a chat scheduled with my coach and mentor the day after I lost my shit in the grocery store. You know how she reframed it for me? Fucking perfectly.
“I don’t call that losing your shit my dear!” She said, “I call that stepping into your power. I call that speaking your mind. I call that being your authentic self and calling them on their bullshit policy. Wow! Look at you. I’m impressed. You’re amazing.”
She’s right of course. I didn’t do anything wrong, but something deep inside me wanted to cast myself as bad-guy or wrong-doer. Some long ago conditioning about how women are supposed to behave.
Well fuck that. Well behaved women, apparently do NOT get the sale price on grapes.
Overcoming life-long conditioning takes time and practice, and a little help. The more we unravel ourselves and our energy from that old conditioning, the more empowered we become! It’s one of the things I help my clients with on a regular basis, and it’s one of the reasons I have regularly scheduled appointments with my coach.
Sometimes it takes help to become aware of where we’re still hooked into those old beliefs that limit our lives.
You can ask anyone who knows me. MOST days I am a fucking ray of sunshine. And also, I will not hesitate to get stormed up and unleash my thunder when that is what’s required.
Being our authentic self is the most liberating thing we can do.
What does it MEAN to be authentic? It means to be the fabulous YOU that you came here to be. Each of us is a unique spark of the Universal Divine, a singular piece of the infinite puzzle. We deserve to say what’s true in our hearts. We deserve to be true to our own desires and beliefs, and live in whatever way makes us happy. We deserve to live our lives in whatever way we choose, no matter what the fuck other people expect of us, or what they think about our choices.
But it is normal to want to fit in, and to want to be liked by others, so many of us wear masks to hide our authentic self. This happens when we believe that we are not enough as we are, or when we have been told that we are too much in some way, or when it feels unsafe to speak our truth.
The masks we create become heavy when worn too long, and continuing to wear them takes a huge amount of energy. We grow weary of trying to be who this one wants us to be, doing what that one wants us to do. We can be exhausted trying to live a life defined by masks, instead of letting ourself be authentic.
If we attract a partner while wearing a mask, we may fear ever revealing our true self. If they love the masked version, how could they possibly love what truly lies beneath?
The other burden of wearing a mask to please others, is that we never really get the chance to explore our true nature. We get to a point where the mask is so heavy we MUST set it down, but then we might not have any idea of who we truly are and what makes us happy.
So I invite you to liberate yourself! If you are not usually the type to speak your mind, or ask for what you want out of life, I encourage you to start. Play with being authentic to explore how much more energy you have!
If you reveal your true self and someone doesn’t like it, that’s their problem, not yours. The people who love you will be delighted for you to be YOU. Maybe it’s time to release people who want you to wear to please them.
You only get one wild and precious life. Spend it being the fabulous, unique YOU that you came here to be!
Grow on!
What masks do you wear regularly? Which ones are draining your energy? Which ones are you willing to let go? In what ways are you ready to express your authenticity? What makes you truly light up?
When I was little, I used to lie on my grandma’s bed and listen to music on her clock radio. I was mesmerized watching the numbers flip over one minute, and hour at at a time. To a four-year-old, it seemed like magic.
In first grade they tried to teach me how to tell time using hands on a clock. I didn’t get it. Partially because I hadn’t yet been taught to multiply by five, and partially because it seemed redundant when you could just look at a magical flip clock and see the answer to what time it was if you cared to know.
My teacher sent home an angry note disparaging my analog time-telling talents. My father was furious that I was behind in this lesson. I cheerfully explained to him that it was ok, because I could get a flip-clock like grandma’s so I could always tell what time it was. He did not appreciate my optimism, and let his fury fly.
He sat me down at our dining table and slammed the worksheet down in front of me. I worked out the time on the clocks on the worksheet, and for every incorrect answer, I got smacked.
After my first wrong answer, a furious voice arose in my mind, “Do NOT get one more wrong! Do not answer until you KNOW you are correct!” I was very careful and found that when I applied myself, I could avoid the wrath. The protector in my mind helped me survive.
Over the years, the voice that arose to protect me from wrath was generally the first to hurl it. Any mistake I made was met with choruses of vehement anger. HOW could I be so stupid as to make one mistake? I am SUCH an idiot! Will I NEVER learn?
The protection from wrong answers transformed into criticism for everything that SEEMED like it MIGHT be in error. It was easy to be anxious and uncertain, and then not even try if I was the least bit unsure of myself.
I’m not telling this story to gain sympathy, I tell it to illustrate the fact that I have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voice in my head telling me NOT to fuck this up. And, I am willing to bet that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you have excellent fucking reasons, too.
I also know that if you hear constant nagging criticism in the back of your mind, you’re dealing with one of the biggest stressors in life. It’s no fun, it wreaks havoc with our digestion, and it’s one of the biggest reasons that women overeat, or turn to sugary treats.
That’s right. You heard me.
If you, like millions of other women struggle with overeating or overuse of sugar, one of the biggest reasons may be the voice in your head telling you you’re a loser for reaching for the sugar again!
So, we have excellent fucking reasons for the critical voices in our heads, AND that may be one of the major causes underlying compulsive eating patterns that we deeply desire to release.
What can we do about this confusing challenge?
It’s pretty clear that we want to learn to stop being so critical of ourselves, but how do we begin to release a habit that has lasted a lifetime? It’s a process, and it takes practice!
It’s not going to happen overnight despite the critical voice telling us that our life depends on making changes NOW, or that we should have made changes yesterday. Often, just hearing the voice saying that something MUST be done is enough to induce our anxiety.
Take a deep breath, and exhale fully.
Changing the voice in our head is not only possible, it is essential, and it is life changing! Go ahead and take another deep breath, because just knowing that change is possible begins to relieve the tension – as does breathing deeply.
Somewhere to begin.
Here is a simple process I teach my clients to begin letting go of the inner critic, and ALL the stress she causes us to feel!
ABC Process
Awareness Practice becoming aware when it’s happening. For many people, it’s simply a sudden feeling of being judged or disapproved of. For others, it’s hearing full sentences of disapproval and harsh judgement. It can be different for each of us, so we need to pay attention to try and catch it in the moment we are doing it.
Once we are aware in the moment that it’s happening, we can take action. As soon as you are aware of the critic voice:
Breathe Take a nice deep grounding breath.
Choose Choose love. Choose a voice who speaks gently to you. Choose to treat yourself as you would treat someone you adore, someone you would never criticize.
Instead of criticizing yourself, choose to love yourself for being human.
It’s as simple as ABC, though it takes some practice to become aware and remember to do it in the moment. And if you don’t catch it in the moment, don’t beat yourself up.
When you do catch it with your improving Awareness – Breathe, and Choose love!
Somewhere to practice.
Letting go of the constant self-criticism takes time and practice. Three times a year, I run a two-month group for women who are ready to release self-criticism and get relief from stress, and the myriad symptoms that stress creates in our lives. We also release recreational sugar for three weeks in a fully supported, nonjudgmental way to see how much RELIEF we can create from any unwanted symptoms we are experiencing.
If this sounds like something you want to play with, you can sign up for the next Masterclass at THIS LINK, or read all the information about the upcoming Playgroup HERE.
Grow on!
Print the ABC process somewhere you will see it daily to help remind you to let go of self-criticism.
Check out full details of the next Relief through Release Playgroup at THIS LINK.
Remember that you are WORTH the investment of time and energy that it takes to be kinder to yourself!
A shift in mindset can literally be the difference between experiencing a living hell, or living heaven on earth.
Mindset is EVERYTHING. Mindset is the vibrational set point of our thinking. It is the accumulation of established thoughts and beliefs we hold to be true.
Energy attracts like energy, so what we vibrate, we attract.
We can think of our vibrational set point (mindset) as our radio station. Our current mindset is the station to which we’re tuned. Therefore the ONLY thing we can currently experience is what’s being broadcast on our station. If we do not like our experience, we must change the station to get something different.
We cannot change the experience being broadcast. In order to experience a different broadcast, we must change our station, by changing how we perceive.
What we perceive is what we receive.
If we believe that we live in a godless universe, where others cannot be trusted, where we must do it all on our own, and struggle for what we have; we are having a very different experience broadcast to us than someone who believes that the Universe has her back, sends frequent angels to support her, and flows resources to her effortlessly.
Changing our radio station (mindset) allows us to attract something different than we have been experiencing. If we are not currently enjoying our experience, it is vital to shift our mindset. In order to shift our mindset to attract something different than we have been attracting, we must begin to shift the thoughts we are thinking, and be willing to let go of beliefs that do not serve us.
The question then is, how do we change what we believe?
Awareness is always the first step! We can only change something if we are AWARE that we want to change it. Once we have recognized that something we think or believe no longer serves us, we need a process to help us overwrite those beliefs with new ones that support and inspire us!
We need a process because if we truly believe something, we cannot simply stop believing that, and start believing something contrary. The human brain won’t leap like that.
For example, we cannot go from thinking, “I hate my body because it’s fat,” to thinking, “I love my body unconditionally,” in the same breath. Our vibration will physically reject the opposing thought because it does not resonate with our current mindset/vibration.
Wheels & Ladders
Here are four processes wonderful for shifting mindset, or point of attraction.
Focus Wheel Process
Esther Hicks and Abraham offered us the Focus Wheel Process in the book Ask and it is Given.
We place the thought we wish to believe in the center, then write thoughts around the outside which we already believe, thoughts that resonate with our current mindset, meaning – we already believe them. Practicing these believable thoughts moves us closer to the center thought we wish to believe.
Esther says to use the focus wheel process:
When you realize that your current Vibrational Point of Attraction is not where you want it to be.
When you are aware that you are feeling negative emotion about something that is important, and you want to find a way of feeling positive emotion instead.
When something has just happened that is not to your liking, and you want to think about it while it is on your mind and change your point of attraction so that it does not happen again.
When you are reaching for a feeling of relief.
For me, the key bit here is reaching for a feeling of relief. When we are thinking thoughts that make us feel icky, anxious, or worried, finding thoughts that RELIEVE the anxiety, worry, and shame is solid GOLD.
Abraham’s Focus Wheel Process is highly effective for many people.
Training Wheels
Another process we can use to shift our thoughts, our mindset, our vibrational point of attraction is Training Wheels. Training wheels help us soften the thought we desire to believe, and bring it closer to our current vibrational range. Training wheels are sentence fragments tacked onto the thought we wish to believe.
Examples of Training Wheels: Why is it so easy to… I am learning to… I am ready to… I feel empowered when… Today I begin to… I choose to…
Training wheels on our example: I love my body unconditionally. Why is it so easy to love my body unconditionally? I am learning to love my body unconditionally. I am ready to love my body unconditionally. I feel empowered when I love my body unconditionally. Today I begin to love my body unconditionally. I choose to love my body unconditionally.
If the training wheel thought is one we BELIEVE, we are on our way! Shifting from a limiting belief to an inspiring belief takes PRACTICE, so we want to practice the training wheel thought frequently until we feel ready to take the training wheels off.
Training Wheels Process is a super effective way to begin shifting our beliefs!
Laddering Thoughts
I love Laddering Thoughts Process! Imagine the limiting belief on the bottom rung of the ladder. Now place the thought we WANT to think at the top of the ladder.
Now we climb the ladder one better-feeling thought at a time! Each thought is a rung on the ladder taking us closer to the empowering thought at the top. You can absolutely use Training Wheels to help you up the ladder if you find some that raise your vibration.
You can also use neutral thoughts since neutral is always a higher vibe than negative. For example, instead of the negatively charged, “I hate my body” we can use the neutral statement, “I have a body” to climb one rung up on the ladder. That’s a true statement, so it can resonate with anyone. “My body has physically supported me since birth,” is also true. If it resonates, we can use it to climb one rung closer to the higher vibration we desire!
Try these thoughts, and if they resonate, we can climb the next rung:
Some people love their bodies unconditionally. I would like to love my body unconditionally. The more I love my body, the more it loves me back. Occasionally, I love my body unconditionally. It is possible to love my body unconditionally.
Remember: you need to practice the Laddering Thoughts that resonate for you every day, throughout the day. Once a thought feels more believable, move up the ladder!
Stairway to Heaven
I adore the Laddering Thoughts Process, and I love to shift thoughts from bad feeling to good feeling, and from good feeling to better feeling.
So I shifted the idea of the thought ladder into the image of a fully supported staircase with double handrails. Now instead of my steps being shaky, or unstable, I feel steady and supported as I climb my Thought Stairway!
The handrail I offer is a choice of uplifting thoughts galore. Many years ago I began creating positive affirmation cards (daily mantra or empowerment cards) for a friend who was going through challenging times.
I take positive statements that feel good when I say them, and print them on my inspiring landscape photography. Currently I have created more than 500, and I invite you to freely download any that resonate for you, and use them to support you on your Stairway to Heaven on Earth!
My fabulous fucking Toy Box contains a treasure trove of guiding support from many wise hearts who are consistently lighting the way toward Heaven on Earth. I invite you to explore and play with these amazing resources, and incorporate whatever resonates for you. This is how we feel supported and guided as we shift our thoughts up the stairs.
We can use our Thought Stairway to climb from wherever we are on the vibrational scale to wherever we wish to be on the vibrational scale. Thought Stairway can lift us from the deepest depths of despair, unworthiness, and shame, right up to heaven on earth!
With PRACTICE.
These wonderful processes help us retrain our neural pathways, and that takes time and practice.
I encourage you not to give up! We reach a tipping point when we finally feel closer to the top of the staircase than the bottom, and that is when we keep practicing!
We play with shifting our thoughts upward. We keep joyfully rising toward that higher vibration, toward renewed mindset, and fresh perspectives.
This is our spiritual practice, to move ourselves closer and closer to the perspective/vibration of that which we call God, Source Energy, Infinite Wisdom. Because living fully in that energy here and now is what it means to live in Heaven on Earth.
Grow on!
What thoughts are you thinking that are limiting your growth? How does that thought feel when you think it? What emotion would you rather feel? What thought can you think that creates that desired emotion within you? Play with the above processes to climb from the limiting thought to the freeing one!
First and foremost, you are God. The energy animating our flesh is Divine Source energy, or what people like to call God.
Your core energy is Divine. My core energy is Divine. Their core energy is Divine.
Every one of us is an expression of the Divine Source energy that created everything in the Universe. We are absolutely perfect despite whatever flaws or shortcomings we think we perceive. When we begin with this understanding, it’s easy to see that no one is better than anyone. We are all equal, all One energy.
How other people think, and speak about me is NONE of my business because it has NOTHING to do with me.
What other people think of me, and how they treat me has NOTHING to do with me.
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only ONE thing, and it’s NOT me!
How other people think about me, what they say about me, and how they treat me has to do with only one thing: How in alignment, or out of alignment they are with their own core energy.
How in alignment, or out of alignment THEY are with THEIR own core energy. (Not my energy.) It has NOTHING to do with me.
Trying to figure out why they don’t like me, or why they treated me like that, or what I did “wrong” is a complete WASTE of energy! Trying to change their mind is also a huge waste of energy, and generally backfires because we feel defensive.
Does it feel good to be liked by others?
Absolutely!
Is it necessary for your wellbeing?
Not a chance.
If we live in such a way as to BE what someone else wants us to be, we are not our true authentic self. To BE the YOU that you came here to be, you must learn to listen to the guidance INSIDE of YOU. When we look outside for guidance, it’s complete chaos!
Why?
Have you ever tried to get EVERYBODY, or even a large group of people to agree on ANYTHING? Everyone has their own idea about what’s right or wrong, or effective, based ONLY on their own experience and viewpoint. They do NOT have a guide book with hard and fast rules that work for every life.
Diet as an example. How much do people agree on what the perfect weight loss plan is? Do you see that working for EVERYONE?
WHY follow a path that someone ELSE is excited and passionate about when you can choose to follow a path that excites YOU, and that YOU are passionate about? If we follow a path made of other people’s opinions, the magnificent fullness of who you came here to BE cannot be realized, and you are cheating the world out of the unique perspective, the individual viewpoint that is YOU.
This is the definition of giving away your power.
This does not mean we can’t live a life that serves others, or in service to others – as long as we CHOOSE it for ourselves. If you are living a life of service because someone else wants you to, FUCK that!
And we don’t want to choose service to others ABOVE serving our own needs! You are not an afterthought! You are the central character in your own story.
I worry that others are judging me!
This thought is a mirror in two ways.
1- You judge yourself harshly, so you see them judging you. 2- You are judging them to be judgers in the process.
No one is ever judging you as harshly as you judge yourself. If they do, cut them out of your life, or minimize time spent with them, or set healthy boundaries by telling them to stop it.
The more you love yourself, the less harshly you criticize yourself, the easier it will be to see them as less critical, and less judgemental.
While you are not giving a fuck about what people think, I would also LOVE for you to not give a fuck what people do!
Other people are not the boss of you. You are also not the boss of them!
They get to choose what they think is right and best for them. When we try to choose for them, our energy becomes entangled.
Energy entanglements DRAIN us!
Think how much energy it takes to make decisions for yourself and run your own life. Do you REALLY have the energy to also do that for everyone you love, and strangers too?
If so, WHERE on earth did you find that rule book titled This is the ONE right way for everyone! by R.O. Gant?
HUGE energy drain, and…
This is the definition of taking away their power, and we drain our own power when we try.
Short of situations where someone is harming you or others, take a deep breath and let that shit go!
Her book, Untamed was life changing for millions of women. Years before that book released, Glennon was already writing to empower women. On July 6, 2014, she posted YOUR BODY IS NOT YOUR MASTERPIECE.
This piece resonates deeply for me!
I want each of us to learn to love the skin we are in! I want every single person on the planet to have a healed, loving relationship with their own body.
I see so many women struggling with weight and body image as if it’s the most important thing in life! Cultural advertising has been telling us forever that in some way or other, we are not enough, that we do not match their standards for beauty. It makes me so fucking angry that the most articulate thing that occurs to me is “Fuck their fucking standards!”
Luckily for us, Glennon Doyls is much more eloquent in her ire. Here, for your upliftment, your thriving, your empowerment, I share this original work from Glennon Doyle.
Read it. re-read it. Let it seep into your soul. Take it to heart.
It is suggested to us a million times a day that our BODIES are PROJECTS. They aren’t. Our lives are. Our spirituality is. Our relationships are. Our work is.
Stop spending all day obsessing, cursing, perfecting your body like it’s all you’ve got to offer the world. Your body is not your art, it’s your paintbrush. Whether your paintbrush is a tall paintbrush or a thin paintbrush or a stocky paintbrush or a scratched up paintbrush is completely irrelevant.
What is relevant is that YOU HAVE A PAINTBRUSH which can be used to transfer your insides onto the canvas of your life — where others can see it and be inspired and comforted by it.
Your body is not your offering. It’s just a really amazing instrument which you can use to create your offering each day.
Don’t curse your paintbrush. Don’t sit in a corner wishing you had a different paintbrush. You’re wasting time. You’ve got the one you got. Be grateful, because without it you’d have nothing with which to paint your life’s work. Your life’s work is the love you give and receive — and your body is the instrument you use to accept and offer love on your soul’s behalf. It’s a system.
We are encouraged to obsess over our instrument’s SHAPE — but our body’s shape has no effect on it’s ability to accept and offer love for us. Just none. Maybe we continue to obsess because as long we keep wringing our hands about our paintbrush shape, we don’t have to get to work painting our lives. Stop fretting.
The truth is that all paintbrush shapes work just fine — and anybody who tells you different is trying to sell you something. Don’t buy. Just paint.
No wait — first, stop what you are doing and say THANK YOU to your body — right now. Say THANK YOU to your eyes for taking in the beauty of sunsets and storms and children blowing out birthday candles and say THANK YOU to your hands for writing love letters and opening doors and stirring soup and waving to strangers and say THANK YOU to your legs for walking you from danger to safety and climbing so many mountains for you.
Then pick up your instrument and start painting this day beautiful and bold and wild and free and YOU. – by Glennon Doyle
Please, my beautiful friends, if you are obsessing over perfecting your body, feel free to let that shit go, and enjoy painting your life!
If you are ready to stop obsessing and start painting, Mind Body Eating Coaching can help! Follow THIS LINK to schedule a free chat, or a Discovery Session to get started!
I don’t feel like writing a fucking blog post today. I don’t see any sunny side at the moment. I am not inspired, nor do I feel inspiring. My dog had surgery yesterday and kept me awake all night trying to get the cone off his head. I have a tension headache the size of Montana. My spine is out of alignment causing me to be off work, so my finances feel out of alignment. My perspective is out of alignment with my higher self, and my human is screaming WTF?!
I don’t even want to listen to my favorite podcast to try and lift my vibe! What’s wrong with me?! WHY is everything going wrong? What did I DO to deserve this mess!?
Fuck! Fuckity fuck fuckitall!
I rest my head in my hands, rub my temples and take a deep breath. When I find I haven’t the energy to scream, I exhale with force through gritted teeth.
In that small, quiet space following my exhale, I can hear my higher being for just a moment, just long enough to whisper my new mantra to me.
Nothing has gone wrong. Everything is perfect. All is well.
“Well it sure doesn’t FEEL as if all is fucking well,” I retort with just as much snark as I can muster. But I have softened. Just a bit, but enough.
I know enough to know that even if I can’t see the gift (the lesson my soul is hungry to learn) in the moment, my new mantra is right. Nothing ever goes wrong. All goes according to Divine plan. I trust the Universe to have my back, which means I can relax, and right now relaxation is exactly what I need.
Nothing has gone wrong.
I am simply having a human experience – not good nor bad – just human. Sometimes we get out of alignment with our highest self, and that’s ok! That’s part of the plan, to get out of alignment and find our way back. And it’s fine if I don’t want to find my way back right this minute! We can always learn something from spending time in misalignment. Sometimes we learn it in the moment, and sometimes we learn in hindsight, but simply remembering that nothing has gone wrong, allows us to relax a bit, allows the resistance to soften.
I’m still exhausted from not sleeping, but I am no longer shoulding on myself. I don’t beat myself up for being out of alignment. I accept it as part of being human, part of my experience, and give myself a fucking break!
In fact, I do deserve a break. I think I’ll schedule a massage, and if any voices in my head try to tell me I don’t deserve it, they can fuck right the hell off.
Yeah. I’m feeling better!
Practice my new mantra for awhile if it feels good to you.
Or find a mantra that reminds you of your power and practice that. I find that it really helps. Especially on the shitty days.
I am magic. I know I am magic, and no one can stop my magical ass!
I have a T-shirt that announces this truth to the world, and yet sometimes I still forget. Why? Because I’m human. When humans come here from nonphysical, we agree to forget our magic so that we can have the expansive experience of finding our way back to our magic, back to our power – the power of All that Is.
We come here intending to find our way back to magic, and to remind our fellow travelers of the Truth that we are all made of magic, and that we are surrounded by miracles everywhere.
At our core – each of us is magic with the power that creates worlds at our disposal. And we are also magically human.
Being human comes with challenges. We can experience confusion and doubt about our own magic. Some of us have been taught by other humans that magic is not real, yet we may sense it’s presence occasionally and feel drawn toward it. Even those of us who strongly believe in magic are human with human challenges.
When those who are asleep to their own magic lash out in fear at the magic-believing human, it can feel like a punch in the gut. It can feel like being plunged into darkness where the light of our own magic does not shine.
This does not mean that anything has gone wrong!
If we do not experience darkness, how can we know that we prefer the light? The darkness is simply one experience. It is not permanent. Whatever emotion we experience – positive or negative – is temporary and will pass.
Acceptance of the unwanted emotion is key.
We can face it head on and say something like, “I would prefer to not feel this emotion, but it is the emotion I am feeling, so I will choose it. I will allow myself to feel it, and be with it until it begins to transform.”
We can dance with unwanted emotions, or hike with them to help move them more quickly through our experience. Any enjoyable physical activity helps move emotions. We can sit calmly with the unwanted emotion as if it were a visitor, and ask what message it has for us. Welcoming unwanted emotions and listening to them diminishes them, and empowers us.
Emotions are energy in motion. If we resist them, they stay with us longer, and can sometimes get stuck. If we choose to accept the experience of the unwanted emotion, the energy will stay in motion and transform more quickly.
Remembering our magic is key.
There is magic in reminding our fellow travelers of our magic. And while it is purpose-filled, and fulfilling to call others back to the light, we bear no responsibility for the ability of others to see their own light, or to connect with their magic.
Let go of people who tear you down and diminish your light, or make you doubt your own magic. Follow your inner light. Ascend into your own magic without feeling responsible for bringing everyone else along with you.
Find people who remind you that you ARE the light! Read books by authors that remind you that Source energy flows through you and everyone around you. Subscribe to blogs, tune in to podcasts, and watch YouTube videos that remind you of your magic and help reconnect you to the magical flow of life.
Grow on!
When you discover that someone or something in your life diminishes you, or depletes your energy repeatedly, have the courage to let it go.
Make a list of all the people, places, books, or blogs that remind you of your magic. Enjoy everything on your list frequently! Share those uplifting sources with everyone to remind them of their light too!
In my toy box, I keep a running list of resources that inspire the crap outta me and my clients. Share your favorites with us in the comments and I’ll add them to the list!
How often do you charge your cell phone? Put gas in your car?
WHY so freaking often?!
Because when we use something constantly, that’s how fast the energy gets consumed.
Now, how often do you use your body? And how frequently are you charging your batteries? Do you know how to refuel your own energy?
These are crucial questions to consider, and ones I ask my clients every week. One of the biggest reasons we can feel depleted is because we have no idea how to fuel up, fill our reserves, charge our batteries. The things that drain our energy are unending, and come at us all day every day. Just lying still breathing requires some energy! If we actually go out in the world to school, careers, social engagements, and all the rest, we are constantly spending our energy supply.
If we are not making space in our schedule to recharge, or have no idea where to go to plug in, is it any wonder we feel drained, exhausted, and overwhelmed?
We can optimize health and energy by defining what recharges us (energy gains), and releasing any energy drains that are optional.
Killing Time vs. Creating Fun
Just to be clear – relaxed scrolling, or watching TV is not the same as being plugged in. There is nothing wrong with those activities, but they can’t really be counted as recharging. It’s kind of like not charging the phone, but not using it either. We end up with no net loss or gain in energy. Our battery charger MUST be plugged in for a gain in energy to occur, so simple “down-time” activities like scrolling social media or watching entertainment are not inherently energy building and should not be included when listing energy gains.
Rather than helping us disengage (like watching or scrolling), energy gains are usually things that engage our energy and feel like fun. With this distinction in mind, we can begin to define a list of people, places, and practices in our lives that actually feed us energy and fuel us up, and which ones drain our energy and leave us feeling exhausted and empty inside.
The lists below are merely suggestions to get us thinking about what fills us with joy, and where we actually choose to spend our energy supply. They are not meant to be all inclusive.
Maximize Energy Gains
Any self-care practices you already do, or want to begin doing.
Spend time in nature.
Look at beautiful nature photography.
Enjoy nature videos on YouTube.
Move your body in any way that’s FUN.
Read uplifting books and articles. – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM!
Listen to inspiring podcasts. – Find people who inspire you and LET THEM, but with your ears.
Talk to a coach or therapist. – This is an excellent way to personalize a shift in mindset.
Breathe deeply.
Relax often.
Slow down with meals to gain more pleasure from your food.
Offer yourself unconditional love. – This takes practice, and often requires support from others.
Frequently tell yourself and others what you appreciate in them.
Hug everyone.
Say what you think always, but say it with love. – Speaking our truth is essential for health, and so is not harming others with our words or emotions.
Schedule time to do the things that make you happy! – THIS is the key to increasing the energy available to us!
Dive into my toy box and find lots inspiring ideas!
Play with any or all of these as feels right in your experience!
Minimize Energy Drains
Negative self talk! – This is the most energy draining activity humans do.
Neglecting self-care.
Judging self and others. – Everyone is right where we need to be, and doing the best we can in each moment.
Negative emotions like anger, frustration, irritation, depression, fear, guilt, worry… – These are NORMAL human emotions to feel and then move through, and they drain our energy when we get stuck in them.
Doing things you do NOT want to do. – Don’t force yourself to say yes when you want to say no.
NOT doing things you want to do! – Not doing what charges our batteries drains our energy double time.
Limiting beliefs. – Any thought we keep thinking that keeps us from moving forward.
Taking things personally. – Their behavior is never about me and always about them.
Clutter, disorganization. – Visual clutter can drain our energy.
Overuse of caffeine, sugar, or alcohol. – There is nothing wrong with using some caffeine, sugar, or alcohol, and overuse of any of these powerful substances will deplete our energy.
Play with watching what shows up in your experience. Play with identifying where your energy is leaking. Play with letting go of these as you become willing to release them!
Once we create our own lists, we are able to make choices based on how much energy we have, and how we most want to spend it!
Grow on!
Try creating your own lists of what fills your fuel tank and what leaves you feeling empty! Then schedule some of the battery chargers in your calendar, and play with letting go of some of the behaviors that drain you.
Please reach out if I can help! Schedule a chat at THIS LINK so we ca connect!
